Chapter 25
WREN
I was disoriented when I woke, but I knew with absolute certainty that I wasn’t at home, curled up beside one of the guys. It was cold and hot at the same time, like a bad fever. Plus, it smelled a little like an asscrack.
Cy appeared in my vision, but I could barely see him in the shadows.
Shadows.
The Moirai.
The knife.
I sat up with a gasp, my hand going to my chest, but there was no knife there now, not even a wound. I didn’t know why that made me feel more anxious, rather than less. I wasn’t in my sleep shirt either. Instead, I was in a long white dress that looked somewhere between a slip and a wedding dress.
What in the actual hell?
Cy shifted from dog to man, and for some strange reason, he was wearing pants. Normally when he changed, he came back naked. His stark white hair stood out in the darkness of our surroundings.
I tried to clutch on to those last few memories, but they were fleeting, just out of my grasp. But there was something about Mrs. B?
“Cy, what’s going on?” I whispered, my throat feeling raw.
He looked uncharacteristically solemn as he squatted down beside me, his thighs flexing in a way that was both hot as hell and wildly inappropriate in the moment. “I don’t know how to tell you this, Wren, but you’re, ah…” He scratched his chin and looked uncomfortable. “Not living?”
I blinked at him slowly. “My life to the fullest? Because I’d have to disagree.”
“Uh, no, not quite. You’re not living at all . Like, you’re dead. We’re on the banks of the River Styx.”
“The banks of the River where?” I shook my head, because his words made no sense. It sounded like he’d said I was dead.
I couldn’t be dead. We were having a conversation.
“The River Styx. You’re dead. I came with you, because we are intrinsically bonded. My soul is yours and always has been,” he said softly, which was a wild thought, but I’d come back to it. Because if Cy was here, did that mean the rest of the guys had died right along with me?
My gaze flicked around, looking for them. Were they down here too? Had they been removed from the weave altogether? “The guys? Where are they? Did my death…” It was too horrifying to suggest.
Pulling me to my feet, Cy shrugged. “I don’t think so. When you died, I kind of just appeared by your side. I’m hoping that if they aren’t here too, they’re still topside with the pups.”
I wanted that too; really, I did. I would wallow happily in eternal damnation, if it meant my babies got to have a long and happy life with all those protectors.
But a selfish part of me was grief-stricken that I would never see them again.
Looking around with fresh—dead—eyes, what I saw was an expanse of blackness, with huge black cities popping up like the boroughs of New York City. On the wind was the howl of thousands of angry souls, the wail of a million mourning hearts. Nothing was growing; there was no sun, no moon, no stars. Just an endless abyss of darkness and the swirling river right at my feet.
The River Styx.
Looking down into the murky depths, I could see pale, screaming faces flowing with the current. I jumped when a hand wrapped around my arm, but it was just Cy, pulling me back against his chest. “Be careful. If they lure you into the river, they get to take your place on Ferryman’s barge. Trust me, you don’t want to be in there.” Tugging me back from the edge, like he didn’t trust me not to take a swan dive into the death pool, he turned me to face him. His eyes ran over my face as if he was trying to read my thoughts. “You seem to be taking this well. More people struggle with the death thing.”
Yeah, I was firmly in the denial stage; it just didn’t feel real. I didn’t feel any different. I was still me, but in a new location. Maybe if I hadn’t had Cy here, then I’d be more of a mess. But with him, it didn’t seem so scary.
As long as I didn’t think about the babies.
Or the look on Nate’s face as I died.
Or the other guys.
The pain in my chest had nothing to do with a knife wound now. I wasn’t ready for that reality just yet. Back to denial for me.
I shrugged at Cy, like I didn’t give a fuck that I was no longer living. “I might be dead, but at least I have you, right?”
He gathered me up in his arms, pressing me against a chest that was still warm, with a strong heart beating beneath my cheek. “You’ll always have me, Wren. In life and death, this one and the next.”
Someone cleared their throat behind us. “Uh, I don’t mean to interrupt, but do you know why I was summoned here? Do you need a guide?”
We both turned at the soft, sweet voice. The woman behind us was faded around the edges, like a photo taken on your grandma’s smartphone. Just a little smudged and out of focus. She had long blonde hair, and delicate curves. Her pale blue clothes were rough hewn. Whenever she’d died, it had been long before modern times.
Despite her general opacity, she had a soft golden light that told me she was probably a Goddess of some kind, but one that was long forgotten. I was surprised I could see her glow. When I looked at Cy, I realized I could see his too.
I shrugged. “No idea. We just got here.”
She frowned at me. “Just now?”
Nodding, Cy eyed the woman warily. “What’s your name?”
The woman tilted her head. “Fea. You’re a Demigod too? They don’t normally send two soul guides, but I can’t be sure. This is my first time.” She looked around, like she was searching for another soul. Someone else for her to guide. But there was no one here. She smiled brightly, like me being dead was the greatest thing to ever happen to her. “It must be you. You don’t think Arawn thought I was so incompetent that they sent me back-up, do you? Because I might be new to this, but I’ve been here a long time. There’s no way I couldn’t walk you from the River Styx back to Annwn.”
There was a lot to unpack in that little speech. “Uh, no. I’m sure that, uh, this Arawn has a lot of faith in your abilities. Cy is just my…” I struggled to find a word for what he was. Bondmate didn’t sound serious enough for someone who’d followed you to Hell.
Luckily, Cy had no problems filling in the blanks. “Soulmate. Divinely ordained soulmate.”
Fea’s face softened. “That’s so special. I’ve only seen a few of those in my time, and each one was more beautiful than the next.”
A noise behind us had us all turning back to the waters of the Styx. A soul was writhing on the banks, and Fea’s expression turned pitying. She walked over, stroking the soul’s face gently, and I watched its translucent features face go slack with bliss. Then with a giant shove, Fea pushed it back into the river.
I watched the whole thing with awe, and more than a little trepidation. Was Fea good or bad? Her name seemed familiar, but I couldn’t remember if she was a Goddess someone had mentioned, or if I’d read about her in a book.
Wiping her hands on her dress, she came back to us. “Poor souls. I always feel bad, but they can’t leave the Styx. It upsets the balance if there’s no one there to take their place, and there’s no way I’m losing my first fresh souls to the Styx. I’d never live it down.” Straightening, she flicked her skirts around her knees. “I guess I’m a two-for-one guide then. Welcome to the afterlife. What’s your name?”
“Wren. This is Cydon.”
“Wren, that’s a lovely name. It’s nice to meet you both. Come, it’s a long walk to Annwn. Not a hard walk, but time is odd down here, and it can feel like a lifetime to get anywhere.” She stepped past us, like we were good puppies meant to follow, but I guess no one had told her that I didn’t go blindly anywhere with anyone. When she realized we weren’t following, she turned and frowned. I kind of felt bad; if I’d been alone, I probably would have followed her across the Underworld itself. But I wasn’t alone.
Cy gave her a chagrined smile. “Sorry, Fea. But I have a stop we need to make first. Some old friends that I need to answer a few questions.” He pointed to a speck in the distance across the water, and I squinted to try and bring the tiny dot into focus.
“You know the Ferryman?” Fea whispered, partly in trepidation and partly in awe.
Cy snorted. “I once saw him get so drunk that he puked into the river and tried to make out with Cerberus. So I guess you could say, yeah, we’re acquainted.”
The dot got closer and closer until I realized it was indeed a barge on the river of dead people. There was a guy on it, and he was jacked. I mean, his shoulders were easily as wide as Milo’s, but he was super tall too. He looked like a giant. His body was covered in a large robe, a deep hood hiding his face, with long sleeves covering everything but the tips of his fingers.
When the barge made contact with the shore, it gave an otherworldly thud that seemed to echo around the place. Lifting a hand, he flipped back his hood, revealing a pretty attractive guy with a rugged face. “Cy? What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Hey, Charon. Can we get a ride? I need to see the big guy.”
The Ferryman looked between us, frowning at me. “Uh, sure. You two are Mythics, but she’s a mortal soul. If she wants to ride the barge, she’ll need to pay.” He gazed at me sympathetically. “It’s just how the magic works. Sorry. Do you have payment?”
I blinked. Should I have died with my purse in my pocket? Did the Ferryman have Venmo? Was I going to be stuck on the side of the River Styx, just because I didn’t carry cash anymore?
Squeezing my hand, Cy leaned close. “Check your pockets.”
My dress did indeed have pockets. And in a pocket were two coins. “How’d you know?”
Shaking his head sadly, he curled my fist around the coins. “Because no matter how devastated they would be, they wouldn’t send you into the afterlife without the proper rituals to honor you, including giving you coins to pay your passage.”
What was left of my heart shattered to dust.