Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
T hings with Vin are intense. Not in a bad way. They’re just… a lot. We’ve also hung out a lot , all week. He hasn’t been as high as I saw him on Tuesday again, which I’m thankful for.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t object to his smoking. I just don’t want him to get in trouble or be so out of his head he does something stupid. I don’t know. I guess I worry. I never asked him to elaborate on what the nightmares or memories were about. They’re his, and if he wants me to know, he’ll tell me.
When he holds me, though, it feels like completion. I feel complete when I’m with him. It’s stupid, but that’s the only word I can think of to explain it. Complete. Vin De Bellis completes me.
I smile. My lips still tingle from his kiss when I left school this afternoon. My parents are out of town for the weekend, and I told them I was staying with Elena, so they wouldn’t worry. They usually try to drag me with them on their trips. Thankfully, I got out of going this time.
Right now, I’m lying on Elena’s bed, dodging her and Devon’s questions about Vin. “When did you say Lauren was getting here?” I look between them.
“Don’t change the subject. Tell us. How big? Are the rumours really true?” Devon asks.
All they want to talk about is Vin’s cock. Like I’m ever going to tell them about it. Some things should stay in the bedroom. And that’s one of them. “I’m not talking to you about my boyfriend’s cock.” I smile. Every time I think of Vin being my boyfriend, I get a swarm of butterflies in my stomach.
“Then don’t say. Just tell me when to stop.” Elena slowly starts to widen the gap between her two palms.
I laugh and shake my head. When my phone buzzes with a message, I dive for it, thankful for the distraction. My smile widens when I see Vin’s name on the screen.
Vin:
There’s a party tonight. Wanna come?
Me:
Where is it?
It takes me a moment to realise he’s going to a party whether I go with him or not. I shouldn’t care. He can do whatever he wants. I’m not his keeper. But a tiny bit of dread, or jealousy, overcomes me when I imagine him at a party with all those thirsty girls vying for his attention.
I trust Vin, I remind myself. He’s done nothing to make me question his trustworthiness.
Vin:
Dash’s place.
The party is at his friend’s house. Well, he’s definitely going then.
Me:
Can I bring my friends?
Vin:
I’ll come pick you all up at eight.
Me:
I’m at Elena’s.
Vin:
I know.
Okay, then. I look up at Elena and Devon, who are both staring at me. Waiting. “Get dressed. We’re going to a party. Vin is coming to get us in…” I glance at the clock on my phone. “Shit, one hour!” I squeal before jumping off the bed.
Where did the time go?
I feel like we just got here. I guess I haven’t seen my friends as much this week and there was a lot to catch up on. Although mostly we just talked about Vin—the things I could tell them anyway. Like how perfect he is, how sweet, and how he makes me feel. Devon and Elena did not buy for one minute that Vin De Bellis is sweet. But I don’t care. I don’t need them to believe me. Because I know him. I know the real him and he is the sweetest, most-caring person I’ve ever met.
“One hour! Someone call Lauren and tell her to hurry her ass up!” Elena shrieks, pulling her closet open and disappearing inside it.
An hour later, we’re all standing out front of Elena’s house. I’m nervous. I don’t know why. I’ve spent every night with Vin this week. He’s seen me naked. But standing here, in this little black lace dress that… well, doesn’t really cover much of anything, I’m nervous. It’s too much. I shouldn’t have gone to so much effort. It’s just a high school party.
An SUV pulls up to a stop, the back door opens, and Vin steps out. His eyes roam up and down the length of my body, twice, before they land on my face. I can’t read his thoughts.
“Cammi?”
“Yeah?” I walk over to him. My friends trailing behind me. I lean up on my tiptoes and whisper, “Vin, kiss me.”
He smiles, lowering his head to press his lips against mine. His hand lands on my lower back, my bare lower back, and he growls into my mouth. “Did you forget the other half of your dress?”
“No, why? You hate it, don’t you? It looks ridiculous.” I pull away.
“I love it. You look fucking hot. I’m going to be walking around with a boner all night, staring at you at the same time I want to slash everyone else’s eyes out,” he says.
“Well, I guess you should probably hold my hand and not let go, then. I’ll make sure you don’t slash out anyone’s eyes.” I smile up at him while offering my palm.
Vin takes it. “Let’s go.” He pushes open the door, cursing when I climb in. I guess he just got a good look at my ass. He waits for Lauren, Devon, and Elena to get into the car after me. Then he eyes Elena, who’s sitting next to me. “You need to move,” he tells her. “Back there.”
She laughs. “All good. I was just messing with you,” she says, moving to the third row to sit between Devon and Lauren.
When we walk into Dash’s house, the place is empty, bar Dash and Marcus. I look up at Vin, who’s standing next to me. So close, but not touching. I’ve learned he won’t touch me unless I ask him to. I just can’t bring myself to ask him why he needs my consent so badly. I don’t want to push, especially if it’s as bad as my imagination thinks it is.
“I thought you said it was a party?” I ask Vin.
“It is. You’re here and you happen to be the only person I need to be around.” His lips tip up at the corner, that little dimple showing.
Dash and Marcus are on the sofa, playing some kind of video game. Neither pays us any mind. “Help yourself to the kitchen,” Dash calls over, never taking his eyes off the screen.
“Don’t mind if I do.” Elena walks out of the living room.
“Does she know where she’s going?” I ask Devon and Lauren.
Lauren shrugs. “She has a nose for sniffing out booze.”
A bang forces my attention back to Marcus, who’s standing with his controller now on the table in front of him. “Booze? I’m in.”
“What the fuck, man?” Dash says before tossing his own controller aside. “Some backup you are.”
“You’ll survive,” Marcus says.
“You want a drink?” Vin asks me.
“Water?” I reply.
He nods. “Come on, I’ll show you where the kitchen is.” Vin glances down at my hand. I know he wants to hold it, but he won’t. Not unless I ask him to.
“Lead the way,” I say while offering him my palm. “If you don’t hold my hand right now, I might just run away.”
“You want me to hold your hand, Cammi?” Vin questions me.
“I always want you to hold my hand,” I tell him as his fingers entwine with mine. I follow Vin into the kitchen, Lauren and Devon tagging along behind us.
Marcus walks up next to me. He slings an arm over my shoulder. “So, Cammi, what are your intentions with my boy here?”
My eyes widen. “My intentions?” He’s not serious, is he?
Vin stops in his tracks before yelling out, “Hey, Dash?”
“Yeah, bro?” Dash pops up from around the corner.
“Call the doc. Marcus is gonna need his fingers reset. Maybe his wrist casted too,” Vin tells him.
Dash looks to Marcus. “Dude, really? You’re going to poke the bear like that? Come on, my mum’s gonna kill me if we get blood everywhere.”
I step closer to Vin, forcing Marcus’s arm to drop from my shoulders. “My intentions are to be the best girlfriend I can be, for as long as he wants me to be,” I tell Marcus. Everyone goes silent. “What are your intentions with my boyfriend, Marcus?”
“Oh, nice. I like you. But you should know we’re a package deal. Me and Him. I’m not going anywhere. Bros before?—”
“You finish that sentence and I will fucking knock you out,” Vin growls.
Marcus snaps his mouth closed. “Sorry, mate. So, who wants booze? I got the best of the best,” he says, walking down the hall to where I assume the kitchen is located.
Everyone shuffles past us. I wait until they’re all out of earshot. I can feel Vin’s hand trembling in mine. His jaw is tight, his eyes drawn down. “Are you okay?” I ask him.
“No.” He shakes his head. “Do me a favour? Go into the kitchen with your friends. There’re water bottles in the fridge.” He lets go of my hand.
“What are you going to do?” I ask him.
“I just need to step outside for a moment,” he says.
He’s going to go smoke. That’s what he wants to do right now. I’m torn. I want to go with him. But I also always want him to be able to have the space he so desperately needs. “Okay, I’ll go find the girls, if you’re sure.”
“Mhmm, I won’t be long,” he says and turns, walking in the opposite direction of the kitchen.
I stand still. Unmoving. I should give him space, right? It’s what he wants. It’s what he asked for. Yet there’s a huge part of me that wants to go after him. He needs to know that whatever he’s going through, whatever he’s feeling, he doesn’t need to do it alone. My feet are moving before I’m aware that I’m following him. I find Vin sitting on the front step with a joint between his fingers. He brings it to his mouth as I lower myself next to him.
He blows out a billow of smoke, then turns to me. “You shouldn’t be out here.”
“I should be wherever you are. And you’re out here. So here I am,” I tell him.
“I’m not…” He shakes his head and puffs on the joint again.
“You don’t have to tell me, Vin. You don’t need to explain anything. You also don’t need to be alone anymore. I’m right here.”
“What are your plans this weekend?” he asks.
“Not much. Why?”
“I want you to stay with me,” he says.
“For the whole weekend? You’ll grow tired of me.” I laugh.
“Impossible.” He pauses to take another drag of his joint. “So, will you?”
“Okay, I can stay until Monday,” I tell him. “My parents think I’m staying at Elena’s.”
“You wanna go back inside?” Vin puts out the smoke, squashing it under his shoe as he glances back towards the door.
I stand and move down a step so I’m in front of him. “What I want is for you to hug me.”
Vin reaches out and grabs my waist, pulling me down onto his lap so I’m straddling him. His arms wrap around me and his face buries into my neck. “I’m sorry I’m so fucked up,” he whispers.
I snake my arms over his shoulders and hold on to him as tight as I can. “You’re not fucked up to me, Vin. You’re perfect just the way you are,” I tell him.