Chapter 19
Ben
Watching Sherry with Alec ripped at my very soul.
It was no different than her speaking with one of her siblings or with Murray, who usually did the rental deliveries, but this was different because Alec was someone who could take her away from me.
Not that I had a claim on her. She wanted more, and I pulled back.
If I could just tell her the truth, we could put this all behind us, but I couldn’t. I didn’t think I was scared of my father anymore, but his threats lingered. The knowledge of what he had done to those who crossed him…
I really was a fucking coward. I was ready to stand my ground and burn his entire empire down, but the minute Sherry reached for me again, I folded like a pathetic sack of shit.
I told her and myself it was to protect her.
That keeping her in the dark was the only way to keep her out of my father’s crosshairs.
Hiding behind that excuse was easier than facing the fallout.
If I told her everything—the sabotage, the threats, who I really was—she might not ever look at me the same, and the thought killed me.
But watching her laugh with Alec felt worse than dying.
I didn’t deserve her, but damn it, I wanted her.
It was time I told her the truth. If she rejected me, at least there would be no more secrets between us.
She’d left the vineyard at least an hour ago, and I had been off the clock for as long, but I didn’t want to go home.
Part of me was afraid my father would send some more of his goons to do damage, and I refused to let that happen again.
Another part of me didn’t want to sit in my townhome alone.
The tasting room was open for another two hours, so I doubted they’d be dumb enough to show up when the place was literally crawling with people. So I locked up the warehouse, made sure to double-check all the locks, then headed out. Instead of heading home, I made a right toward Sherry’s place.
I didn’t call. Didn’t text. If she was home, fate was giving me one more shot to get this right. If she wasn’t… then it was for the best.
The streets were quiet as I drove through Vine Valley—the only kind of quiet I could find in a small town like this. I normally found it peaceful, but the closer I got to Sherry’s, the more unease settled in my gut.
I turned onto her street, and her house came into view. A soft glow illuminated her porch, and one of the front windows was lit.
I pulled in beside her car and parked. I sat there for far too long, contemplating leaving. The minute I walked up that porch and knocked on that door, I was making a choice I couldn’t turn back on.
I climbed out of the truck and crossed the short walkway. A whole new wave of fear rammed into me. What if she slammed the door in my face? Told me I was too late? What if Alec was inside? No. That was ridiculous.
My steps grew heavier with each movement. Every mistake I made up to this moment weighed on me. I lifted my hand to knock, but the door swung open before I could make contact.
Sherry stood there, barefoot with a soft green blanket wrapped around her shoulders. “You’re not the delivery guy.”
My heart stuttered. “Alec?”
“What? No. Chinese.”
Relief rushed through me, and muscles that tensed began to ease.
“Unless you’re here to growl at another delivery guy, why are you here?”
“I don’t want to lose you,” I said. “Pushing you away after dinner will always be my biggest regret.”
She rolled her eyes and yanked the blanket tighter. “You’re just mad you missed out on sex, and you’re here to scratch an itch.”
I took a step closer, hands up as if I was approaching something fragile. “That’s not why I’m here.”
The sound of a car echoed around us, the door slamming as a man hurried toward us, holding a to-go bag.
“Chinese?” the man asked, having no idea what he just walked into.
“Yes,” Sherry said, taking the bag. “Thank you.” She handed him money, and when he reached into his pocket for change, she held up her hand. “I’m good.”
His eyes widened. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Thanks a lot, ma’am,” he said and hurried to his car as if she might change her mind.
She nodded toward me. “Continue.”
I shook my head, trying to remember where I had left off. A tremor ran through my hand and up my spine. My nerves were frayed, stretched too thin with all the lies.
“My lo mein is getting cold, and I have a rom-com waiting,” she said.
“I want to tell you everything, but it’s hard. With my family, my business, with myself. But then you came along all bright and stubborn, shining lights into the cracks, and those defenses stopped feeling like protection and more like a prison.”
“You’re the one keeping yourself locked up.”
“I know and because of that, I hurt you. I was a coward. Still am. I’m fucking shaking right now because I’m terrified you’re going to turn that hot little ass of yours around and slam that door in my face.”
The wind picked up, tugging at the ends of her blanket, but she didn’t move. With her hair mussed, her sharp brown eyes softening, it was enough to completely undo me.
I moved toward her and slowly lifted my hand to her cheek. She didn’t stop me or pull away, so I took that as permission. I cupped her face, running my thumb across her jaw, relishing in her warmth. “We don’t have to have sex, but please don’t—”
Her lips crashed into mine. The sound of her Chinese hitting the porch echoed around us, but my mind was too focused on the taste of her lips, the feel of her skin beneath mine. Her fingers tangled into the front of my shirt as if she needed something to hold on to.
The kiss was all heat and desperation. Days of tension snapped loose. It wasn’t soft or tentative. It was wild and raw and perfect.
Her lips left mine, her breath coming in jagged gasps. “No more talking.”
“But I haven’t told you—” Her mouth crashed into mine again, cutting me off. I had so much to tell her, but as her tongue plunged past my lips, words evaded me.
We stumbled inside, kicking the door shut behind us. Her blanket slipped to the floor, and my eyes focused on the delicate tank top and silk pants she wore. She pressed into me, her hands skimming under my shirt, sending a shiver down my spine.
My fingers found the curve of her waist, the small of her back, the soft skin I’d dreamed about every damn night since the last time I had her.
“What about your Chinese?” I managed.
“Leave it,” she said.
“You’re going to be hungry when I’m through with you.”
She grumbled against my lips, then hurried outside, grabbed the bag, and slammed the door. She deposited the to-go bag on the table, then was back in my arms. Her teeth slid over my bottom lip, biting gently and tugging.
I groaned, gripping her hips as she pressed against me. “Bed or couch?” I managed.
“Against the door if you don’t hurry up,” she said, and a smile broke at the corner of my mouth.
My hand slid to her ass, cupping her curves and lifting her. Her legs wrapped around me, and I carried her through the dim light of the living room.
Her teeth slid over my lips, her fingers tugging at my shirt. I turned, pinning her to the wall, her body rocked into mine. I leaned back, and she ripped my shirt over my head, tossing it to the floor. I kissed her again, this time less desperate and more passionate, flooding everything into it.
It wasn’t just about sex. Not anymore. This was about me and her and the aching need that had consumed me ever since that first night together back in October. She grabbed her shirt and tossed it with mine on the floor.
My eyes drifted to her two perfect tits. “No bra?”
“I take it off as soon as I walk in the door.”
I dipped my head, taking her pert nipple in my mouth. She moaned, fingers thrusting into my hair and tugging slightly, just enough pain to remind me this was real. I dragged my lips up her chest, trailing kisses as I went.
I wanted to savor every touch, every tug, every brush of my lips against hers. Once I told her the truth, I had no idea if she would ever let me touch her again. Fear bubbled up inside me, but I shoved it down, focusing on the curve of her neck, and sucking at the sensitive skin.
She cried out, her hold tightening on my head as she forced my mouth from her skin and brought me to her lips. We came together in a clash of tongue and teeth, each thrust a desperate collision of want and need.
Her hips rolled, saying exactly what she wanted without words. I pulled us from the wall and hurried toward her bedroom, not once taking my lips from hers. I walked until my legs hit the bed, then I placed her in the middle, coming down above her.
I kissed her like it was the last time. Every arch of her body, every moan, every lash of her tongue was a gift, and no matter what happened, I would cherish every moment we had together. I drew back, staring into her lust-heavy eyes, her cheeks flushed and her lips swollen from our kisses.
“Don’t stop,” she pleaded, her body twisting beneath me. “Please.”
My fingers curled around the waistband of her pants, and I leaned back, taking them with me. Her teeth slid over her bottom lip as I looked at her naked frame. “No underwear?” I asked with a smirk.
“Took those off, too,” she said.
“I’m not complaining.” I yanked her ankles toward the edge of the bed and dropped to my knees. She let out a squeak, but as my mouth found her slick heat, her hands slammed into the mattress, and a pleasure-filled sigh echoed through the room.
She tasted like the sweetest wine and the brightest day.
Her back arched as I took my time. Her breath hitched with every flick of my tongue and press of my mouth. Thighs trembling against my shoulders, I gripped her tighter, grounding us both.
“Ben…”
My name fell from her lips like a prayer, but I was the one on my knees, worshipping her like the goddess she was. I didn’t deserve the way she touched me, the way she looked at me before I had dropped before her. I didn’t deserve the way her body responded to me, but I didn’t stop.
I couldn’t.
She tasted too good, felt too right, and all I wanted was to make her feel an ounce of the pleasure she gave me just by letting me into her life. I sucked on her swollen, bundle of nerves and slipped a digit into her wetness.
Her cries built like a slow pour, deep and full-bodied, growing in intensity as her body tightened around me until everything spilled over in a rush.
Her limbs jerked with her release, legs twitching, arms flailing, hands searching for purchase.
I rode the wave with my tongue as my finger continued to pump into her, dragging out her orgasm.
She collapsed against the mattress, her fingers tangled in the sheets. I placed a kiss on her inner thigh and looked up at her. Her chest rose and fell with ragged breaths. Her head tilted toward me, her cheeks flushed, eyes barely open but locked on mine.
She reached for me, and I didn’t hesitate. I shoved my pants to the floor, climbed toward her, my body hovering over hers. My cock brushed against her thigh then her stomach, and a slight smile played at the edge of her mouth. Her hand gripped the rock-solid appendage and gently stroked.
“I’ve missed him,” she said.
“Oh, I see how it is. You miss the limb, not the man it’s attached to. I’m starting to feel like a piece of meat,” I joked.
Her other hand cupped my cheek, and I turned into it, pressing a kiss to her palm.
“I missed you more,” she whispered, and those four words undid something inside me. All the tension I’d been carrying, all the guilt and regret, didn’t vanish, but for a moment it quieted.
I bent toward her, brushing my lips to hers. No desperation or carnal need… just plain and simple need. The kind of need that burrowed deep in my chest, that told me this wasn’t just a moment, but the moment.
I pulled back, looking into her eyes, and it was there as clear as day. Somewhere between the one-night stands, sexual tension, and constantly pretending like we didn’t care about each other, I had fallen in love with her.
Her legs wrapped around my waist and guided me toward her. As our bodies aligned, it was as if everything clicked into place.
I loved Sherry Grasso.
“I need you,” she said, and I only hoped she would remember those words when I told her the truth.
“No,” I said as my cock slipped between her folds. “I need you.”
Her eyes met mine, genuine love shining way too brightly. My words lingered between us, but as I thrust deep, her head flung back, breaking our gaze.
My eyes closed, relishing in her heat and the softness of her skin beneath my fingertips.
I managed to find the woman of my dreams, and because of my lies and my deceit, I could lose her.
I forced the invasive thoughts from my mind and focused on the way Sherry’s eyelashes brushed the apples of her flushed cheeks.
On the way, her hair fanned out around her like a crown.
I burned to memory the sounds of pleasure rumbling her throat and the feel of her hands sliding up my chest as her legs tightened around me.
Determined to never forget this moment, I focused on just us. Skin on skin. Heart to heart. Our bodies synced, moving as one fluid motion. My balls tightened as pressure built inside me. I reached down, finding her tight pearl and rubbing small circles with the pad of my thumb.
Her back lifted from the mattress, and my hand pressed her to me. I wrapped her in my arms and sat at the edge of the bed. My feet hit the hardwood beneath me, her body molding to mine as we rocked toward our releases.
My lips found hers, kissing her with everything I couldn’t say, every emotion I couldn’t put into words.
Her slick walls tightened around my cock, and the world exploded in bursts of white.
Her nails dug into my shoulders, and she cried out.
We rode the wave together, mouths finding each other in a chaos of grunts and moans.
Her body jolted in aftershocks, and I lowered her to the bed. She sighed against my mouth, and I pulled her into me. Her fingers traced lazy patterns across my chest as I rested my forehead on hers.
I held her in the quiet aftermath, sheets tangled around us, and for a brief second, everything felt like it was right in the world.