Chapter 56
56
‘So, what do you reckon I should do?’ Charlotte was sitting on Gemma’s extremely comfortable sofa, nursing a glass of wine and brooding quietly. She’d left the telescope at work for the time being, still undecided as to whether to donate it to the archive or keep it herself. There was no conflict of interest – Professor Edwin had read Tristan’s letter and confirmed that, since Tristan was giving her the choice, she was indeed free to decide where the telescope ended up. The question was, did she want to possess an artefact that was so intimately connected to Tristan and his family? On the one hand, if they decided not to continue their relationship it would be a reminder of what had happened between them; on the other, if they did meet up again and decide to pick up where they’d left off, Tristan might not want the continual reminder of the role his uncle had had in his parents’ personal and professional lives. The gift, though thoughtful, was now causing her head to ache. Perhaps the best thing to do would be to just put it in the archive and forget about it.
But Charlotte couldn’t forget about that wonderful night they’d spent stargazing in Tristan’s garden. She didn’t want to forget. Her heart was telling her one thing, and her head, as usual, was telling her another.
‘Well, you’d better at least text Tristan to thank him,’ Gemma replied. ‘If nothing else, he’ll want to know that the parcel got to you all right, and in one piece.’
‘I’ve been drafting and redrafting a text since I opened the bloody thing!’ Charlotte said, taking another sip of her wine. ‘I just can’t seem to get the tone right.’
‘Perhaps that’s because you’re not as decided now as you were when you left?’ Gemma observed. ‘I mean, let’s face it, you’re back doing your house parent thing and when you’re not looking after pissed undergrads you’re in the archive sorting out the Observatory Field papers. Now, Tristan’s sent you this gift and it’s put your mental planets out of orbit again, after just managing to get back on an even keel.’
Charlotte winced at the mixed metaphor, but she knew what Gemma meant. ‘I guess so,’ she conceded. ‘But it’s difficult to reply with anything other than a “thank you, it got here safely” when I still haven’t decided what to do with it.’
‘Then just do that,’ Gemma reasoned. ‘You can always follow it up with something more detailed when you’re ready.’ She topped up both of their glasses. ‘Now,’ she continued. ‘How did the first time out in the new car go?’
Charlotte grimaced. ‘About as well as you’d expect.’ She’d decided to brave the world of motoring again since returning to Bristol. Being out in Lower Brambleton for the summer had reminded her just how useful it would be to be more mobile, especially when she couldn’t rely on public transport or Gemma to get her places. Her parents had gifted her some money as an early Christmas present which, combined with her pay for the Observatory Field job, allowed her to buy a second-hand car and insure it. After much stalling and crunching of gears, she’d gradually stopped shaking and taken a first proper drive around the city.
A little voice in her head had reminded her that, should she have her own car, it would be easier to travel to see Tristan, too, but she’d hushed it firmly. This wasn’t about Tristan. All the same, she hoped that if she gained some confidence in her driving she might be able to take a trip under her own steam to Lower Brambleton again. She quite fancied visiting and staying connected with the new friends she’d made. And if she was ready to see Tristan, so much the better.
‘I’m happy to sit in your passenger seat, too,’ Gemma said. ‘Although I’m not sure how good a support I’ll be!’
‘Thanks.’ Charlotte smiled at her friend. ‘I’ll bear that in mind.’ She took her phone out again and was looking at the text in her drafts folder. Would ‘thank you, the telescope arrived safely’ really be enough to send to Tristan after such a heartfelt letter? She sighed and put her phone down again.
‘Stop overthinking it!’ Gemma said firmly. ‘And either send it to him now or put your phone out of reach. One more glass of wine and you’ll be drunk-texting something you’ll regret.’
‘All right,’ Charlotte grumbled. She put her phone back into her backpack. ‘I just wish I knew what to do.’
Gemma tilted her head to one side, and Charlotte realised she was under scrutiny. ‘Well,’ her friend said eventually, ‘this sounds like a cliché, but what is your heart telling you to do? Forget knowing , and try feeling for a bit. Maybe you’ll find the answer.’
Charlotte shook her head. If only it were that easy. Taking another sip of her wine, she settled back against the sofa and tried to focus on the television, where Gemma had selected another episode of their guilty pleasure viewing, Outlander. Watching Sam Heughan wooing Catriona Balfe across the wilds of time, Charlotte, feeling drowsy, began to wonder if the situation with Tristan really was as complicated as she was trying to make it. Perhaps it was simply a case of trusting the stars.