Chapter Five
Thomas
Lainey rubs her eyes as she sits up, then looks around. “Is my brother here?” she asks, a little panicked, her eyes darting in the direction I just came from, as if he’s about to follow me around the corner.
Now that I’m close, I can see all the emotion written on her face, and it worries me that she clearly doesn’t want Luke to see her.
“It’s just me.” I put her mind at ease. “I didn’t think anyone was home. Are you okay?”
Lainey visibly relaxes and puts on a smile, trying to appear calm. “Sorry, I’m fine. I was just reading something sad.”
“Ahh, those sad books. They get me every time,” I joke to make her smile. “Was it Nicholas Sparks?”
“What?” Her jaw drops and she stares at me like I’m a stranger.
“What do you mean, what? You don’t think I read Nicholas Sparks? Of course, I read Nicholas Sparks. It’s Nicholas Sparks.”
“Please stop saying Nicholas Sparks.” She finally grins but it doesn’t quite meet her eyes.
“Okay, I’m shutting up.”
“No, don’t shut up. I’m curious to know your favorite.”
“Favorite?”
“Nicholas Sparks,” she reminds me with her brows raised and the hint of a smile in her voice.
“Oh… A Walk To Remember,” I say, hoping she doesn”t notice the question in my tone.
But of course, she does. “So you’ve seen the movie?” She huffs out a laugh, clearly displaying her skepticism.
“Okay, yes. My sister made me watch the movie once. She told me it was based on a book. But I wasn’t joking about the sadness. That shit was traumatizing.”
Biting back a grin, Lainey tries to keep a straight face, but her sparkling eyes give her away. “I wouldn’t know.” She shrugs. “I haven’t seen or read it.” She’s happy. I made her happy.
“What book were you reading then?”
“I never said it was a book.” Happiness gone.
My stomach sinks. The paper she was ripping. “Fuck, Lainey. I’m a dick.” I drop onto the couch beside her and tilt my body, giving her my full attention, making sure she knows I’m here to listen. “Want to talk about whatever it is you read?”
“Yes…and no.” She hesitates. “Talking about it will make it real, but at the same time, I kind of want to tell you.”
My heart stops, the sadness in her eyes hard to take. Something’s definitely wrong.
“I didn’t get into the ballet school I wanted,” she announces as fresh tears well in her eyes.
“I thought you didn’t want to dance?” I whisper, but instantly regret it. It’s not the best response I could have given her.
“It’s complicated.” She grimaces. “I want to dance, but I only want to dance there.”
“Oh.” Shit.
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry, Lainey. Can you try again? Audition again?”
“I could definitely try again at the next intake, but I won’t get much support for it.”
“What do you mean?” My brow furrows in confusion.
“My grandmother is a famous alumna of Jaiton Academy of Dance in New York. She and my mother have always wanted me to go there. My gran still works there occasionally as a guest, teaching students ballet etiquette.”
“You don’t sound enthused.”
“I’m not. Can you imagine the pressure? Genevieve Swinton’s granddaughter following in her footsteps? I used to think I could go unnoticed, because we don’t share the same last name. But Mom and Gran have been trying to convince my dad to let them change mine. For years. So I can truly be a legacy.”
“Jesus. That’s a lot.” I lean forward, itching to reach for her hand to comfort her, and it’s a strange feeling for me. I want to do anything I can to help. To ease her pain. “Have you auditioned yet?”
“No, I wouldn’t attend until college. I’ve only just registered my interest. But she wants me to try out for New York schools before then.”
The resignation in her tone has my chest tightening, until an idea comes to mind. “Could you…ahh…throw your auditions?”
“Throw them?” Lainey frowns but there’s a hint of genuine intrigue.
“You know… Could you…suck? Like with bowling?”
“Oooh.” She shakes her head, but giggles, finally looking a little more relaxed. “It wouldn’t work. My Gran would know, and she’d just get me another audition.”
“Even if you swore at the admissions committee, threw your ballet shoes across the room, and performed a rap routine?”
“Wow.” Lainey bursts out laughing. “I’d love to live inside your mind.”
“Too far?” I chuckle. “Because I can picture it. You seem like the type to rebel.”
“I do?” she asks with a raised brow.
I have no idea why I think that, but it’s all I can picture in my mind. “Yeah, I do.”
“It’s a great thought, but I don’t think it would work.”
“Shame.”
“It is.” She falls quiet, and something tells me her mind is whirring, but then she shocks me by saying, “I’ll have you know, I can rap, and I’m freaking amazing. So knowing my luck, I’d still get in.”
I burst out laughing, and Lainey’s smile brightens. “Now, I’d pay to see that.”
Lainey laughs. “One day, if my dancing career fails, you might be able to.”
“Or maybe you could combine both. A new age rap ballet.”
“Now there’s an idea.”
I laugh again until a hint of Lainey’s sadness returns. “So, you still want to dance, but not at Jaiton Academy. Is that right?”
“Or New York. I’ve only ever wanted to go to school in San Francisco. It’s my dream to be part of the San Francisco Ballet.”
“Then why don’t you wait? Ask your parents to hold off on New York, audition again next year.”
“I’ve already done that. It’s a long story, but this was my last shot.”
“Fuck.”
“Exactly.”
No wonder she’s upset. I couldn’t imagine my parents interfering with my dreams, forcing me into something I didn’t want. Although, my dad’s always been set on me playing football, so maybe I’d have that pressure if I’d chosen another path?
Lainey gives me a small smile before falling quiet again. Though she’s been happy at times, it’s obvious it’s just a facade. This moment is life-changing for her. Her dream just shattered.
“Where is everyone? Do your parents know you’re upset? Or Luke?” She shouldn’t be alone.
“Luke snuck off to a party somewhere while my parents are gone. They”re taking my younger brother to visit one of his friends that moved away. They’ll be home tomorrow.”
Tomorrow! “They don’t know?”
“No.”
“Should you call them?”
“It won’t change anything. They know how I feel, and they believe they’re doing the right thing. Trying to give me the best shot at a dancing career.”
“For argument’s sake, you could attend a school in New York and Jaiton, and still come back to perform with the San Francisco Ballet, right?” I’m assuming they don’t only take people from their own school.
“Absolutely.”
Her words say yes, but… “It’s not what you want.”
“No, it’s not that. I just have a bad feeling about following in my grandmother’s footsteps. I don’t know why. I just do. I want to be my own person. But maybe I’m being stubborn.”
“No, you’re not. That’s completely fair. You should be able to choose your own path.”
My heart aches for her. She sounds so confused and hurt, and I can’t do anything to help. The best I can do is my pathetic attempts to cheer her up, so when we fall quiet, with both of us staring into the darkness, a thought hits me. “Have you ever danced under the stars?” I ask, breaking the silence.
“I have,” Lainey says wistfully. “I once danced at the Hollywood Bowl.” Holy shit.
“Wow. That’s…wow.” That kind of ruins my plan but I go with it anyway. “Well, have you danced under the stars with a football legend?” I joke, and out of the corner of my eye, I see a tiny, but genuine smile tug at her lips, though she doesn’t look my way.
“Can’t say that I have.”
“Well, maybe that’s just what we need to do to bring back your smile.” I stand up and hold out my hand. “What do you say?” I don’t dance often, but right now I want to make her happy, by any means possible.
Lainey stares at me for a moment before her lips curl. “I don’t think Luke likes dancing,” she says, her gaze meeting mine, her expression serious.
Luke? What does he… Oooh… Ouch. “I see what you did there. He wishes he was a legend.”
Lainey giggles and the sound warms me. “Oh, you meant you?” she teases, but I don’t care. I made her happy for a moment and I’ll take it. Mission accomplished.
Grabbing my hand, she allows me to pull her to standing before stepping away. “Thank you. I appreciate it,” she whispers.
“I don’t know what you’re referring to,” I whisper back, hiding my grin.
With her own smile, Lainey walks toward the fence surrounding her pool, leaning against it as the light reflects off the water, illuminating her face. “If I was to dance with a football legend…” she asks, holding back a grin, “what kind of song would he pick?”
Damn. I haven’t thought this through. The music I usually listen to isn’t great for dancing; it’s more like something you bounce up and down to.
“What about something from Swan Lake?” I say with a cocky laugh. I don’t think I could name another ballet if I… actually… “Or The Nutcracker.” I snap my fingers.
Lainey bursts out laughing again and it’s infectious. “They’re both great choices. Care to sing any of those songs?”
I think on that for a second, and a tune from the Home Alone movie comes to mind. I’ve seen it a lot.
“Duh, duh, duh, duh, dah, dah, da, da, da, da, da—”
“Please stop,” she cuts me off, covering my mouth with her hand, her warm touch making my heart race. “It was wonderful, but I’ve heard enough.”
I raise an eyebrow and glance down at her fingers, making her gasp. “Shit, I’m sorry,” she says, removing her hand as her nose scrunches adorably.
“No, I get it. You don’t like my singing.” I fake a pout.
“Nooo. It’s not that,” she says, hiding her wince. “I just had no idea what you were trying to sing.”
“‘Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy’…obviously.”
“Oh of course. So obvious.”
“Well, what song would you have picked, huh?”
“‘Dancing in the Dark’ by Bruce Springsteen.” She shrugs as though it’s the most obvious choice and damn.
It’s not at all the direction I was going. “Okay, sure. That works.” It’s not really a dancing song, but whatever. “Didn’t pick you for a Brucey fan.”
“A Brucey fan?” She giggles.
I have no idea why I said that. “Yep.”
“My dad loves him,” she says in response. “He plays his songs all the time. But, no matter the song. You’re off the hook. I feel better and you don’t have to dance with me.”
“I dodged a bullet.” I laugh, but my stomach twists. I wanted to dance. With her. With Lainey… and that’s completely foreign to me. There’s something about her that’s drawing me in. Something that makes me want to spend all my time with her. Just us. Under the moonlight.
“Tell me something about you, Thomas,” Lainey says, hooking her arms over the top of the fence, pulling me from my thoughts. “That’s a much better topic than my issue.” Her eyes widen as the words leave her mouth, and I bite back a smirk. “I didn’t mean you were a good topic. I don’t talk about you. I meant anything will be better.”
“Of course.” I smirk. “But what to say? What to say?”
“You can say anything. Favorite food, name of your first pet, football her—”
“I’m terrified that I won’t make it as a quarterback.” What?! Jesus. She just pulled the same move I did when I was in her room. Only she substituted food for color. That shit’s powerful. “I’ve never really said that out loud before.”
Lainey smiles. “I wonder if that’s a ploy they use in interrogation?”
“If they don’t, they really should.”
“They should, but back to you. You’ve never told anyone that? Never talked about options?”
“No. Actually, I’ve talked through some options with a guidance counselor, but even then I was pretty closed off to alternatives.”
“Did you ever do that ‘which career suits me’ test? I know that’s not what it’s called, but they made me do it this year.”
“I did.”
“Oh yeah?” Her brows rise in intrigue. “Care to share?”
“I didn’t pay much attention but I think part of it was outdoor work.”
“Well, that’s a good start. Mine said I should work with children.”
“Do you like children?”
“I do.”
“That’s good then. I’ve never had the chance to think outside the box. Dad’s been on the football train since I could walk. This is his dream as much as it’s mine.”
“Are you sure it’s your dream then?”
My lips pull into a smile as my eyes meet hers. “Without a doubt. I was born to go pro.”
Lainey grins and her eyes light up. “Then you don’t need a backup plan. Not yet, anyway.”
God, I hope she’s right.
“You’re very easy to talk to, Lainey Bennett. Much easier than your brother. Or anyone I know. Thank you.”
“I didn’t do much.” She laughs shyly.
“You listened,” I say honestly, but it’s more than that. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to share my fears. I’ve never felt comfortable doing that before, but there’s a peace surrounding Lainey that she somehow transfers to me. While it might have something to do with her opening up herself and showing me a vulnerable side, I also just like talking to her.
“So, what’s—” Lainey begins but my phone rings, cutting her off.
I move to silence it until I see Jenna’s name on the screen and wince. Shit. How the hell did I forget about that?
“That’s my ride,” I say with an apologetic grimace.
“Right, okay. Sure.” Her brows furrow but she quickly recovers. “You should answer.”
“Jenna, hey,” I say, turning away from Lainey, hiding my expression. “Are you here?”
“I’m out front of the address you gave me, but it doesn’t look like there’s a party here.”
“You’re at the right spot. It’s the party that’s in a different location. I’ll come out now.”
I hang up and give Lainey’s hip a squeeze to get her attention. She’s staring up at the stars again.
“Sorry, I was lost in thought,” she says, her gaze dropping to look at my hand still on her, making me pull away.
“I’ve got to run. Sorry. I kind of invited a friend to hang out and now she’s out front. Who would have thought?” I comically shrug as I laugh.
Lainey’s eyes briefly widen, but before I’ve had the chance to question it, she laughs with me. “The nerve of her,” she jokes as she playfully rolls her eyes.
“Right?” I smile. “I better not keep her waiting.”
“Of course. Take care, Thomas. And…I’m here if you need to talk.”
“Same goes for you.” I smile back, forcing my legs to move when a little part of me wants to stay. “Thanks, Lainey.” I really hope you’re okay.