Chapter 8 Aunt Janet? #4
“Like they helped me when we lost Mom, Dad and Robby?!” Greg struggled to get it out of his mouth, tears filling his eyes.
“They didn’t help anything then. They couldn’t fix anything!
” Greg’s voice quivered and his body tensed.
“They couldn’t bring them back!” he let out in blubbering voice as the emotions of that memory overwhelmed him.
Janet immediately moved to take him in her arms.
“Oh, child, I didn’t mean for you to remember something that painful,” she said as soothingly as she could, holding him close to herself.
“I miss your mom so much, too. She meant the world to me, more than you might ever know.” She stroked his back as he started to take in deeper breaths, and his sobs slowed down.
“There now, you’ve held that in for far too long, Greg. It’s not healthy for you, I know,,,”
“What?” Greg suddenly asked, snapping back into the moment, moving away from the memory. “How would you know?”
“I’ve had my share of pain and grief, child.
I can understand what you are going through, because I’ve gone through it too.
Not quite the same as you, but I can fully understand this pain.
Holding it in isn’t healthy, it tears at you again and again, wearing you down.
Letting it out is how you deal with it, confront it.
Just like every decision you make at Pimico for investments.
You analyze every angle and facet. You confront the weakness and make it your strength. ”
“I guess I do that,” he slowly said as she let go of him.
She looked at him, then softly kissed his forehead before returning to her own seat.
“I didn’t realize I still had that all bottled up,,,” he was saying when his eyes lit up.
Janet sensed that something had suddenly changed in Greg, that he was realizing something new. “Veronica,” he whispered.
“What about Veronica?” she said, a sense of urgency in her voice.
“We shared trauma in our lives, and she, Carry and I formed a little group to talk about the pains of our losses,” he said, his eyes seeing the memory right in front of himself.
“She talked about losing her dad recently and the one that really hurt her.” He paused as if trying to find the right words.
“What one really hurt her? Quinton?”
“No,” Greg said carefully. “Her mother.”
“Vanessa!” The quiet raspy sound escaped from Janet’s lips like a woman revered and respected. Greg saw it then, a pain shooting through Janet’s eyes as if her heart had just been ripped right out from her chest.
“She was your best friend,” Greg let out slowly. “I’m sorry,” he said with such sorrow that she felt it. “I didn’t mean to bring that kind of pain back up for you.”
She took in a deep breath, trying to calm herself, slowly letting it out. “I know you didn’t mean for me to remember the trauma of my loss.” Her body started to tremble, and Greg realized this was more than he’d thought.
“It just really hit me because she wrote an entire song about her loss, how her mom was her guiding moon that died way too soon.” That hit Janet and she shook hard.
Greg saw that Janet was off now as she struggled to sit upright. Her eyes were drifting now, looking like glistening pools of pain and anguish as she tried to focus. “She truly was a guiding moon,” she barely got out of her mouth. “To me also.”
“Veronica was nearly in tears that night she told me about her, and how lost she felt so far away from Kansas City in a foreign land to her.”
“YES!” Janet let out. “Jacques took Vanessa and Veronica back to France with him when they realized the cancer couldn’t be stopped this time,” she said in a low tone, barely audible.
“It’s alright, Aunt Janet,” Greg said, laying his right hand on top of her left forearm.
“We all mourn loss in different ways.” He paused.
“I thought I’d failed to protect Veronica when I woke up in the hospital after that drive by, but Veronica was only slightly injured,” he added in soft assuring voice.
“But she was injured!” Janet blurted out in terror. “She could have been killed!”
“I did my best to protect her,” he started to say when he noticed that she was starting to sob and tears were starting to stream down her face. He moved immediately to wrap her in his arms. “I don’t know what pain I just caused in you Aunt Janet, but I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“My child,” she sobbed out as he pulled her close to him.
“It’s alright,” he comforted but could feel her whole body shaking now.
“My child,” she whispered again, the pain and grief in her voice didn’t match what Greg understood. “My Child! my chi,,,chi,,,ild,” she sobbed harder. Greg held her close, trying to comfort her. “My child,” she sobbed one last time.
“I’m right here, Aunt Janet. I’m just fine,” Greg said and realized suddenly that it wasn’t him she was talking about as she wasn’t seeing him anymore.
“Veronica,” she sobbed again, wrapping her arms so tightly around Greg’s chest that his breathing was restricted. “She’s my child,” was nothing more than a whisper out of her mouth, but it might as well have been shouted from a bullhorn in Greg’s ears.
“Your child?” The words were like a whisper as Greg began to understand it all. He couldn’t speak now, completely at a loss for any further words.