25. Chapter 25
Chapter 25
I couldn’t get out of the apartment fast enough after seeing Kairi soaking wet and in just a towel. And fuck! Hearing her say the words tits and pussy had my mind wandering to those times on the beach when I did see her completely naked. Despite my muddled memories, I can still very clearly recall the shape of her body. She was teasing this morning, first with the comment about eating me, which kind of made me nauseous and then, leaving the bathroom in just a towel. Now though, my mind is merging the two of these things together and I can’t help but think what she would taste like. Of course, I’m not thinking about actually eating her. Eww. But picturing her naked is making me want to press my lips to every part of her body and take in her salty ocean scent that hasn’t dissipated in the time she’s spent on land. I want to move my lips over her neck, her breasts, her stomach and eventually between her legs… Fuck! I shake my head and give myself a mental slap. I am not going to go there. I have self-restraint. I think.
Because I left the house earlier than I needed to, desperate to get away before I threw myself on her, I spend some time driving around aimlessly. I attempt to will my raging hard-on to soften before I have to go to Tom and Lacey’s. I’m not having much luck though as the memories of her seem to have imprinted themselves. I try to think about some of the worst things to get my dick to go down and finally have success.
I pull into Tom and Lacey’s driveway and pause for a moment before getting out of the car. I’m nervous. It’s a positive sign that they wanted to catch up today. It’s more than I deserve after screwing over Tom at work. I’m worried that they are going to still be angry with me and demand more answers than I will be able to provide. I’ve already decided that I’m going to stick with the story of being mentally ill and now receiving help. It’s not too much of a stretch and means I will have a consistent story. I take a couple of deep breaths to center myself. I put the siren out of my mind so I can focus on rebuilding these friendships.
Tom and Lacey greet me like nothing has changed. Lacey gratefully accepts the wine I offer with a kiss on the cheek and Tom gives me a handshake that turns into one of those one-armed bro hugs. My nerves remain present but lessen due to their warm welcome. It feels different to be here without Kelly beside me, but Tom and Lacey are my friends, and I have always felt comfortable with them. We start the conversation with neutral topics. I can tell that Tom wants to ask about what happened. He’s fidgeting in his seat and keeps glancing at Lacey. I steel my resolve and choose to get the conversation out of the way sooner rather than later.
“Look Tom, I know you have questions, but I’d like to get my apology out of the way first if that’s okay?” He nods so I continue. “The boat accident messed me up man. I wasn’t close to Don, Brenton, and Steve but I still grieve their loss and feel guilty as hell for coming away from it unscathed. I did not handle the aftermath of this well and made some fucked up decisions. I know now that what I was experiencing was post-traumatic stress disorder but at the time I refused to accept that something was wrong. I know I’ve talked to you about my upbringing before. My father never allowed me to show emotions so I tried and tried to push it all down but obviously that doesn’t work. I can’t apologize enough for the way I treated you, Tom. It is completely unacceptable that I just stopped showing up to work without even talking to you. You had every right to fire me. I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am and that I’m really trying to get my life back on track now.” My eyes start to burn but I refuse to cry.
“I knew you were struggling, Eagan. I think we all did but we just didn’t know how to help you. I’m not gonna lie and say I wasn’t pissed off. I still am to be honest. But mostly, it sucked to see you hurting and shutting us all out. I know Kelly was having a really hard time with it as well,” Tom said gently.
I sighed. “Yeah things did not go well with Kelly. I’ve made my apologies to her as well, but things are definitely over.”
“We’re sorry, Eagan,” says Lacey.
“Don’t be. I don’t like how it ended but I’m glad we’re over. We weren’t meant to be forever.”
Tom pauses and I can see the tension in his shoulders. I hold my breath as I wait for what he is going to say next. What if he doesn’t forgive me? Have I ruined years of friendship? Tom glances at Lacey who gives him an encouraging smile. He then slaps a hand on the table, making me jump. “Okay now that’s out of the way, let’s just put it behind us. I appreciate and accept your apology, Eagan. We may even be able to talk in the future about you coming back to work but let’s not do that today. I’ve missed my friend, and we are glad to have you back.” He smiles at me, and I return it, a heavy weight lifting off my chest. With every conversation I have, I feel like things are getting back to normal.
Lunch with Lacey and Tom is exactly like our catch ups have always been. After the awkward initial conversation we don’t speak about anything too deep and just enjoy each other’s company. Tom offers me a beer. Then another. And then one more before I decide to cap it there. I remember that I am going home to Kairi, who I have no business being this attracted to, and I do not want to be drunk when I go back there. We joke and laugh, reminiscing about the past and I feel lighter than I have in a long time. I can’t believe that I almost ruined this irreparably. It’s early evening when we decide to call it a day. There’s a part of me that is reluctant to go home and face Kairi, but my base instincts seem to be pulling me there. Being around her is going to be harder than I could have ever anticipated. Especially if she is going to live by the ‘clothing optional’ philosophy.
I don’t know what I expect to walk into when I get home. I’ve left Kairi home alone with absolutely no instructions. She could have torn the place apart for all I know. Shit. I didn’t even consider that she may rob me. Oh well. Too late to do anything about it now. I was absolutely not prepared to find Kairi sitting on the sofa, legs tucked beneath her and watching some ridiculous reality TV show. She also looks like she’s been raiding the kitchen for food as wrappers and apple cores litter the space around her. She’s so engrossed in the show that she doesn’t even hear me walk in.
I clear my throat, and she startles. “Fuck, I didn’t hear you come in.” She smiles widely and I swear my heart skips a beat. She is so god-damned beautiful.
“Having fun?” I question with a smirk.
“Goddess yes!” She bounces in her seat and tells me all about the show she is watching in far more detail than I need. I can’t help but smile back as her excitement is contagious. “... oh, and the food you have is so good. I’ve just been wanting to try everything, but I think I’ve stuffed myself so full there is no room for anything else.” She leans back and rubs her stomach. I laugh and her eyes brighten.
“Did you have a good day?” she asks.
“Yeah I did,” I acknowledge. She smiles again in a way that is different to those I have seen previously. This is not snarky, teasing, or unsure. She looks genuinely happy right now and my chest warms at the realization.
“What did you do? Where did you go? Can you tell me about it? I’ve never really had the chance to just talk with someone about their day. I want to know everything.” She rambles all excited and bubbly. It’s kind of cute actually. No. Not cute. Monster, remember?
“Wanna sit down and watch with me for a bit? I can explain what’s happening,” she questions with a tinge of insecurity in her voice, gesturing towards the TV. And for some completely unknown reason I sit myself down beside her to do just that.