44. Chapter 44
Chapter 44
I startle awake, unsure of what woke me. Eagan breathes softly next to me, undisturbed by my movement. Last night was a dream, one I never want to wake up from. Something has changed between us but I’m afraid to voice it in case it’s taken away. I know he told me that what we have together is just sex. But last night felt a hell of a lot like what I have imagined making love would feel like. It was passionate but lacked the ferocity of our previous sexual encounters. It was gentle and intimate in a way that I have never experienced. I wonder if it felt different for him too. His eyes told me that he feels a lot more for me than he has admitted to. Do I dare hope that he feels the way that I do?
The information from Raidne yesterday rattled me to my core and I don’t know how to process it. Guilt continues to feel like a lead weight in my stomach and despite the joy it gave me to hear that Eagan is willing to help me, I know I can’t let him. I chose to let him live and then saved his life again when I didn’t even know him. Now I truly know the man he is, the man who doesn’t let others in often but when he does, loves them fiercely and will protect them with his life, I can’t imagine putting him in danger again.
Things are finally going back to normal in his life. He’s working again, spending time with his friends and Sienna is moving back to Witches Cove. He’s happy and the impression his friends have given me is that he wasn’t like this before. Sienna even told me herself that he appears more light-hearted than she has seen in a long time. How can I take this away from him? How can I thrust him back into danger when he should have never been involved in this world in the first place? The bottom line is that I can’t. I won’t.
The whole way back to shore after meeting with Raidne I was desperately wracking my brain to find a solution to this mess. I think I’ve come up with one but I’m risking everything I have built these last few weeks.
The way I see it is that I have three options. Firstly, I can ignore it, let Vala continue to do whatever she is doing to the people she captures. My conscience will not let me do this. That’s not the person I am or ever want to be.
My second option is that I take the time to formulate a plan with Eagan and Raidne to take Vala down. The problem with this is that it will take time. And in that time, Vala can take more humans. I’m not okay with that. It will also mean putting both Eagan and Raidne’s lives at risk. I can’t do that either.
My final option is to face Vala myself. I can request another bargain. Is it stupid? Absolutely. But it keeps the people I love safe. I’m not sure what I can offer her that she would deem valuable enough but I’m willing to risk my own life to clean up my mess.
This is the option I have decided on. Tears well in my eyes once more when I think about what I might be leaving behind. Eagan, Sienna, Tom, Lacey, Kelsey, the boutique. Somehow, I managed to create a meaningful life for myself and even though it has not been for as long as I would have liked, I am so grateful for the time I have had.
If I’m going to do this, it needs to be now. If Eagan catches wind of what I’m planning, he will stop me or come with me. I can’t have that. I have to protect him and keep him safe. I know he will be angry with my choice but if I survive, I’m hopeful he will forgive me. I’m certain he doesn’t want to face Vala again but offered to help me due to the same guilt that drives me. But I have far more to atone for than he does. He can be angry as long as he is safe.
Now is the perfect time to leave. The soft glow peeking through the gaps in the curtains tells me that dawn is approaching, and Eagan is unlikely to continue sleeping this deeply for much longer. I hope that when he wakes, he doesn’t immediately realize where I have gone and follow me.
Eagan’s chest moves up and down with his breaths and his ebony hair falling across his face. He looks so peaceful and all I want to do is wrap myself back up in his arms and pretend the evil of the world doesn’t exist. Option one looks incredibly appealing right now.
I steel my resolve and place a soft kiss on his cheek, my lips barely brushing the skin so as not to wake him. The realization hits me all at once and I gasp for breath. I love him. This beautiful man who had the misfortune of being out on a boat at the wrong time has changed my life. He’s given me everything I have ever wanted for myself but never dreamed could be possible.
I love him.
I love him.
I love him.
And because I love him, I have no doubts that this is what I have to do. It has always been worth it for him.
The sky is lit with hues of red and orange as the sun rises for the day. The streets are empty. Despite the time of day, the temperature is already warm, and beads of sweat drop down the back of my neck. Although that could be because of my nerves.
This is foolish and I could very well be walking to my death. I don’t have a plan. Well nothing beyond asking what Vala would want from me in exchange for not harming the humans. I have no idea what she will say or if she will even entertain the idea. But I’m going to try. I have to try.
It takes a while, but I eventually reach the cliff that houses Vala’s cave. The ocean is still today. Quiet. Not even the sound of a bird breaks through the silence. I remember the last time Eagan and I were here. We were exhausted and Eagan was barely holding on to his sanity. I was afraid. Uncertain. But even though I didn’t know him yet, Eagan’s presence comforted me at the time.
I take a deep breath, willing my heart rate to slow and trying to suppress the panic that is bubbling under the surface. I begin my descent down the cliff face. The absence of a breeze and the dryness of the rocks makes the climb down easier than last time. I’m not afraid of falling. I’m afraid of what’s to come when I make it down.
By the time I reach the opening to the cave my face is dripping with sweat and my palms are clammy with nerves. I don’t hesitate for long, knowing that if I do, I might talk myself out of this, so I push my shoulders back and hold my head up high, projecting a confidence and bad ass attitude that I certainly don’t possess right now. I say a silent apology to Eagan and Raidne and then walk into the cave, the darkness consuming me.
I haven’t gone far before the flap of wings causes me to almost jump out of my skin as one of Vala’s ravens swoops me. A couple more steps and it does it again, this time eliciting a squeak of fright. I can’t see them, but I can sense their stares. Their warning to turn around and leave.
A glow from deep in the cave directs me and as my eyes adjust, both ravens come into view. They are still, but their eyes follow me.
“Pretty siren, I’m surprised to see you here again,” purrs a voice that seems to echo throughout the cave. Vala. “Such a pretty little siren but you mustn’t be very smart. We’ve made our bargain, and I’m not interested in seeing you again.”
I close my eyes and will my voice to be strong and confident. “Vala, you tricked me. I know that you have found a way to harness my song to use it for your own gain. That was not part of our bargain. I can’t let you do that.” Her responding cackle raises all the hairs on my skin.
“You gave up your song willingly, pretty siren. There was no stipulation of what would be done with it once I had taken it from you. You don’t need to worry about it. You got what you wanted, right? How’s human life with your handsome boy? Is it everything you dreamed of? You should leave things alone that don’t concern you.”
My hands clench into fists by my side. “You can’t do this. What are you even doing with the humans? What use do you have for them?”
She laughs again, this time it’s tinged with cruelty. “Pretty siren, I told you before that you have no idea what I’m capable of.”
The candles flash and I scream as a beautiful young woman appears directly in front of me. Her hair is long and midnight black, the color matching the darkness of her eyes. There is no differentiating between her irises and pupils, they are wholly black. She’s draped in strips of gauzy material that wrap around her slim body, her flesh visible beneath. She smiles a wicked smile and my body chills.
“Sirens are so very powerful. And your unique talents offer me more than I could ever achieve with my magic alone. Let me show you, pretty siren.”
No, no, no. This feels wrong. So deeply, horrifyingly wrong. She turns to walk to a dark corner of her cave, her hips swaying and the material of dress swishing along with them. She begins to hum softly at first but I sense the power building. The hum turns into a melody and terror fills me at the recognition of my song. I don’t know why I didn’t hear her use it before like my sisters had but I can definitely hear it now. I can tell that it is not directed at me, so I can’t feel the song's effects but that doesn’t stop the music wrapping around me in a terrifying caress.
My attention is drawn to a deep blue marking that wraps around her upper arm. I wouldn’t have noticed it if it weren’t for the way the swirling design seems to glow and move with her song.
Vala senses my fear and smirks at me, pausing her tune. With its absence, the mark stops glowing and stills. “Don’t worry, pretty siren. You won’t be affected by the song. It did belong to you after all. This man, however, isn’t so lucky.” I gasp as she reaches out her long fingers, latching onto a wrist as she pulls a man into my sight. Horror overwhelms me as I recognize him immediately. It’s Sam, the cute guy I went home with before any of this nightmare began. His blond hair is shaggy and windswept just like the day I met him, but his warm brown eyes show a complete lack of awareness. He is fully entranced by Vala, completely under her spell. And I’m sure, soon to be dead.
“What are you doing to him? Let him go!” I cry and Sam gives no indication that he even hears my words.
“You see, I don’t need souls to survive like sirens, honestly that seems like hard work for you all. But the human souls provide me with something else. Something better.”
She resumes her song, and the mark begins to move again. Is this strange marking on her skin somehow linked to the song?
I both hear and feel the change of the melody Vala sings. She’s taking his soul. I feel frozen to the spot, helpless to do anything to stop her. It’s over in seconds and I stare in shock as Vala’s skin begins to glow from within. She throws her head back and moans in ecstasy as she absorbs the soul. And then she changes. It’s barely perceptible but her skin becomes smoother, any blemishes disappearing completely, her hair grows longer and thicker until it flows around her in luscious waves and the glow beneath her skin continues.
“What are you doing?” I breathe.
“This is not my true appearance, pretty siren. I have been alive a long time and the look of my true body does not match my soul or my mind. Human souls provide me with youth and beauty and most importantly power. It's exhilarating. And totally worth it don’t you think?” she asks, gesturing to her body and twirling.
I feel sick. I can’t breathe. I don’t know if I’m going to vomit or pass out, or both. This is such an abomination of the natural order of things.
“You’re taking and killing humans simply to become more beautiful?” I ask incredulously.
“Oh, don’t forget the power, pretty siren. I have been confined to this cave for far too long. It’s my own curse that I can’t seem to break. But if I can consume enough souls, then perhaps I can increase my power enough to finally break free. And what a delight that would be. You sirens won’t get to be the only beautiful, powerful creatures anymore.”
I can’t keep listening to her twisted ways of justifying her choices. I have to do what I came here for. “I’d like to make another bargain.”
Vala stills, turning her predatory gaze to me once more. “Now why on earth would you want to do that, pretty siren?”
“I can’t keep letting you use the song you took from me to hurt innocent people. What can I offer you to make you stop?”
I stand rooted to the spot as Vala laughs and laughs, every one of my survival instincts telling me to escape. “You have nothing that I want anymore, pretty siren. I took what I needed from you. You’re stupid to have come back here.”
“Please,” I beg, “what would make you stop?”
“Nothing at all,” she replies and my stomach drops. I’ve failed. She’s not willing to negotiate now that she has what she has been coveting. Despair threatens to drown me, and I question if she will let me leave here alive.
“Pretty, pretty siren. You’ve got yourself into a bit of trouble, haven’t you? Trespassing into my cave to try and get me to make another bargain. That’s not how this works. You’re not a siren anymore. You’re a useless human and one I can’t even sing to at that.”
This is it. She’s not going to let me live. I don’t know why I thought this would even work.
“You’re lucky I’m feeling particularly merciful today. There’s really no benefit to killing you if I can’t take your soul. If you want to live my pretty siren… you better run!”
The candles lighting the space around us are extinguished and I’m pitched into complete darkness. My legs move involuntarily as I obey, needing to get out of this fucking cave. Vala’s maniacal laughter bounces off the cave walls and I scream at the sting of talons and beaks as they rip at my skin. It becomes clear that even though she’s allowing me to leave her cave, I won’t be leaving unscathed.
A strangled cry escapes my lungs as I pump my legs harder and use my arms to try and swipe the ravens away. The ravens are relentless, pecking and clawing at any available skin. Tears fall down my cheeks as the pain lashes through me.
I scramble in the darkness, trying to escape and avoid the attacking birds. I bang into the cave walls, scratching and cutting myself on sharp rocks. The wings of the ravens flap in my face and the trickle of blood warms my cheek as it drips down from where one of them has pecked my eyebrow. My foot catches a rock, and I tumble to the ground, sobs leaving me. I curl into a ball with my arms over my head, trying my best to protect my face as the ravens peck and cut and scratch, drawing blood with every strike. I whimper, helplessness threatening to overcome me as I hope desperately for their assault to stop. But it doesn’t.
I rally all my remaining physical strength and mental willpower to push myself up. This is not how my life ends. I will not be torn to shreds by the vicious pets of a witch.
A light appears before me as I near the exit of the cave. I’m so close. I’m gasping for breath through my sobs and blood drips into my eyes, blurring my vision but I’m almost out. With a last burst of adrenaline, I launch myself out of the cave and fortunately the ravens cease their attack the moment I escape.
My body screams in protest, my muscles aching and the dozens of cuts marking my skin burning like I’m on fire. But I’m out. I’m out and I’m alive.