14
I had to sit down. Dizziness was making my vision swim. I had successfully returned that one phantom to home, but I lost Lukas to the Syndicate.
My sister handed me a cup of water. “You okay?” she signed.
I nodded, but the gesture felt hollow. The weight of everything settled onto my shoulders, heavy enough to make them sag.
How was I supposed to do this? I'd barely managed to reach a single phantom and guide her back to the underworld.
Yet beyond the walls of this room, hundreds, maybe thousands, were pouring through the fractured veil.
Each one carried its own pain, its own rage, its own reason for refusing to let go.
The thought made my stomach twist. If connecting to one phantom had nearly broken me, what would happen when I tried to reach them all?
My phone buzzed in my pocket. “Twenty missed calls and texts?” I gasped as I answered Ren’s call. “Ren? Is everything okay?”
“Where the hell have you two been?” I heard the murmur of voices in the background. Stella and Ivy from the sounds of it. “Nick is looking for you. Say goodbye and let’s get out of here. More rift wardens just showed up and things are getting out of control. We’re waiting outside.”
I asked Paige to check on Lukas’ grandmother. As I knelt down to say goodbye to my mom, I held her hands in mine.
“You’re probably surprised to see Ren here, aren’t you?” Paige looked over at me as I spoke to my mom. My sister was well aware of Ren’s past and what he did to our family, but neither of us had mustered up the courage to tell our mom about it.
Exhaling heavily, I started explaining, knowing I had to make it quick.
“We met each other by accident. Well, I thought it was an accident but he was secretly keeping an eye on me all these years. Not in a creepy way or anything,” I quickly amended.
“I just think he was … lonely after what happened.”
My mom sat quietly in her wheelchair, unable to respond with words. I watched as her eyes turned glassy.
“We quickly became good friends. Actually, I think we might be more than that. We started getting a lot closer after I broke up with Sly.”
My sister walked over, placing her hand on my shoulder for comforting support.
“He told me everything that happened that night of the break-in. I’m sure you knew it was him all these years and the destruction he brought onto this family.
But he didn’t hide his past from me, and I respect him for that.
He regrets everything he did, and I believe he’s truly trying to make things right, to do better.
I know it eats him up inside having to live with the consequences.
He’s not a bad guy, and I think you still believe that too, right, mom?
He deserves a second chance. He’s saved more than once, but he’s never had anyone to save him. I want to be that person for him.”
When Ren had ripped the magic from her body and shattered her soul, he’d left my mom a hollow shell of who she used to be. But every now and then, when her emotions became strong enough, traces of her empath abilities still flickered weakly to the surface.
Right now, I could feel them spilling into me. She was … happy. Relieved. There wasn’t a single drop of anything angry or vengeful.
“I knew you’d understand.” I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. “Maybe one day he’ll be ready to come visit you. But right now, he’s kind of a mess. So be patient with him, okay? I gotta get going, but I’ll be back to visit more often. I promise.”
Alex and I followed Paige out one of the side entrances, away from the police clustered near the front of the building, but I couldn’t stop watching the scene unfold.
A woman shrieked as a rift warden stepped in front of her, raising a hand just in time.
The black ring on his finger flared, and the phantom lunging for her was snapped back and contained mid-strike.
Another pair of wardens drove back a pressing wave of phantoms, forcing them into a tightening containment field while the nursing home staff broke into relieved applause.
A news station was there capturing it all.
My sister tugged on my sleeve, and I had no choice but to ignore what was going on.
I followed her to the employee parking lot.
There, leaning against a black SUV, was Nick twirling the keys around his finger.
Ivy stood next to Stella while Ren paced anxiously around the vehicle, white puffs of cold air escaping his frantic breaths.
I caught Ren’s conflicted gaze, something halfway between worry and frustration. I opened my mouth to say something, but my sister’s tap on my shoulder cut me off.
“Take my keys and go home with Ren.” Paige signed, digging into her purse and tossing me her car key. “I’ll hitch a ride with a friend when it’s time to go home and stop by later to pick up my car.”
A gracious smile spread across my face. My sister’s magic allowed her to understand exactly what others needed. I wasn’t sure if it was me or Ren she was reading, but she knew the both of us would benefit from some time together, away from the rest of the group.
Nick opened the back door to the SUV and called over Alex, who was already walking my way, assuming he’d be riding with me. “Why don’t you come with us?” he called out to him. “I’d love to know more about your magic and anything you know about the Syndicate.”
Reluctantly, he agreed, and as they pulled out of the parking lot, I handed over the keys to Ren and got into the passenger’s seat of my sister’s car. “She said she’s too shaken up to drive,” I lied. “Let’s go home.”
“Shouldn’t we follow them back to Emberheart Place?” Ren asked, but I wasn’t going to let him off the hook on this one.
“No. Because you and I need to talk.”
An awkward silence settled between us for most of the way home. I wanted Ren to start the conversation, but after taking the final turn down the last street, I knew he wasn’t going to say a word, so I finally spoke up.
“Ren, I’m sorry for bringing you there. I wasn’t thinking about how hard that must have been for you to see my mom.”
“It’s fine. I volunteered to go.” There was a casual nonchalance in his voice, poorly hiding the fact that something bothered him.
“Was that the first time you’ve seen my mom since … back then?”
“How’s Jordan?” he deflected, changing the topic completely. I didn’t want to push him to talk about it, so I let it go.
“Markus messaged me earlier.” I glanced over at him. His thoughts seemed to be focused on something else entirely. “He said Jordan’s awake and recovering. They want to stop by tomorrow and catch up.”
“Mmm.” Ren never took his eyes off the road as he pulled into the driveway, stopped the car, and headed inside.
“Are you hungry? Do you want me to make something?” I asked Ren as he plopped down on the sofa and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.
“Whatever you feel like doing is fine with me.”
He answered as if my question had never reached him.
The disconnect hit hard, a tight knot of frustration, fear, and longing twisting in my chest all at once.
Since we had made our escape from the Nether, I’d felt unseen, shut out, and suddenly desperate to pull him back to me.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I crossed the room and climbed on top of him, my heart pounding with everything I couldn’t say out loud.
“Theo, what are you doing?” His eyes flew open, the maroon depths flooding with panic as he stared up at me. His hands clung to my hips defensively, ready to either pull me in or push me away.
“Pinning you down so I can do this.”
Our lips met in a hesitant kiss, soft and searching, as if we were both learning how to be gentle with something fragile. His breath hitched, and I felt some of the tension ease as he kissed me back, tentative at first, then more certain.
Every nerve in my body ignited. My breath caught, my shoulders loosened, and the tight coil of stress I had carried for days began to unravel. I leaned into him without thinking, letting instinct guide me, my body recognizing before my mind that this was what we both needed.
When his lips pressed back more firmly, my breath shuddered out of me. I poured every unspoken apology and every fragile hope into that kiss, letting it speak the words that Ren refused to hear.
Ren’s lips moved down from mine, the metal piercing on his lip brushing against my jaw with gentle, teasing pressure.
Each touch sent sparks along my nerves, and a warm shiver rolled through me.
He lingered there for a moment before pressing soft, fleeting kisses along the side of my neck, each one deliberate, tentative, testing the space between us.
I caught my breath, chest tightening as every small movement of his lips made my heart stutter. This feeling was intoxicating, bringing me to the edge of madness, but I didn’t want to go there with him at that moment. We were both still confused and broken, and I needed to mend the rift between us.
“Ren.” I pulled back just enough to see his face, brushing my thumbs delicately along his cheeks.
“I know you prefer to solve your own problems by yourself.” My voice softened.
“But you don’t have to do that with me. Let me help carry your burdens with you.
I’m here for you.” I leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to the tip of his nose.
“I think it’s pretty obvious how much I care about you.
Whatever’s going on, I’ve never judged you before. I’m not going to start now.”
A sad, almost broken smile touched his lips as he sighed. “I don’t deserve you, Theo.”
I shook my head, pressing my forehead against his. “Don’t say that. You deserve love, Ren. You deserve someone who sees you, all of you, and still wants to stay. Let me be that person.”
His hands trembled slightly as they found mine, clutching them as if letting go would make the moment vanish. “You know what I’ve done, Theo. You know about my past. How can you even look me in the eye?”
“I don’t care about the worst parts of your past,” I whispered. “I care about you now. The person in front of me. That’s the one who matters.”
His dark eyes glistened, heavy with emotion, and he let out a shaky breath. At first, he said nothing, but then out of nowhere, he casually mentioned, “Alex seems nice. Really building up his confidence.”
The unexpected words caught me off guard, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized Alex had been bothering him since the moment they first met.
It wasn’t that he thought I was in love with Alex, but Ren and I had a special connection through my soul.
Now that Alex was in the picture, and I shared my magic with him, Ren’s sacrifice didn’t seem as intimate.
“Are you seriously jealous of a nineteen-year-old?” I laughed, pressing a light kiss to his lips. I could feel his skin heat under my fingertips.
“What? Absolutely not! Why would I be jealous of him?” He turned away and the reddish hue of his skin became even redder.
“Ren, what Alex and I share isn’t the same as what we have.
I never asked for Caspian’s magic, or to be intertwined with Alex’s.
I never asked to become this … protector of the dead.
But I did choose you. I willingly offered you my soul because I wanted you to have it.
I wanted to be closer to you. I wanted you to feel like you mattered, like you had a purpose that wasn’t rooted in pain. ”
“Theo—”
“I’m not done.” I sank into his lap, looking at him with sheer determination in my eyes. “I believe I owe you a date. I think it’s time I cash in on that.”
“Huh? Where is this coming from?”
“You didn’t forget, did you? Outside Caspian’s ice cream shop, I awkwardly kissed you, you awkwardly kissed me.
And we agreed that after everything was over, we’d go out for ice cream together.
It’s too damn cold for ice cream, so I’ve decided I’m going to take you to the nicest, cheapest chain restaurant I can find.
And we’re going to have a mediocre dinner together. On an official date.”
“We’re kinda dealing with something here, Theo. Is now really the right time for this?” His hands softened around my thighs.
“I have a feeling this shit with the Syndicate will never end. I’m not oblivious to what’s going on, but if we keep putting us off until whatever the right time is, it’ll never happen.
I don’t want to wait any longer.” I patted his cheek.
“Tomorrow night. I’ll call Thomas. Maybe Alex can stay with him for the night.
Ivy and Stella are working the evening shift at the grocery store, so they won’t be home until late.
We can do whatever we want without anyone bothering us.