Chapter 12
Twelve
Rose
PRESENT
Rose had spent a lot of time in Trollveggen, and much had happened since she'd been brought here.
The trolls had brought her sister back, for one.
Rose had been the one to tell them where to find the priestess who had helped them considerably.
They had defeated the king, for another.
Killing King James had brought her a considerable amount of peace which should have, theoretically, pieced all the parts of her mind back together that felt the need to run.
It hadn't helped all that much.
Instead, she was here. With her sister. Getting dragged through the streets because the trolls had some spectacle that she apparently had to see while Rose wanted nothing more than to disappear.
She could fade into the background, maybe.
Or perhaps she could startle herself enough that she would be able to go back into that place with Rhydian.
The elf had been acting strange lately. They had been working on his book for a long time, and they were almost done with it. A masterpiece, he said. But every time he claimed it was something to be proud of, she could tell that he was saddened by the thought.
She'd tried to ease that sadness by reminding him they could work on another book. There was still more research. He'd claimed to have a plan for her, but now that plan seemed to have faded. She wasn't sure why.
"Rose?" Astrid's voice broke through her thoughts. "You still with me?"
"I'm still with you."
She was annoyed by how many times her sister asked that question. Astrid liked to think that Rose was delicate. Fragile. A glass figurine that could break at any moment.
Sure, Rose could have told her exactly why she was disappearing.
But it was easier not to answer questions.
People thought she was odd, that her mind was off, and that gave her certain leeway that others didn't have.
Like wandering through the streets in the middle of the night with no one questioning what she was doing or why she was doing it.
Rose enjoyed being the mad little human who the trolls all doted on. They all made her life easier, and she was left alone for the most part. The more alone she was, the better.
"Good." Astrid reached back for her, grabbing Rose's hand and tugging her through a crowd of bodies.
She knew how Rose felt about that. But they were both trying. Astrid wanted to hug her sister more, to show physical affection that she didn't feel comfortable showing with many. Yet Rose hated being touched. Every time. It didn't matter who did the touching. It made her skin crawl.
She'd been getting better about it, though. Like right now. All she had to do was draw her hood up and block out the world so her mind couldn't recognize that all the pressure around her was a teeming swarm of troll bodies.
They were all heading toward stands that had been built by countless hands, which surrounded a clearing that wasn't quite an arena.
Not really. Nothing like the labyrinth at all if she really looked around.
The seats were only high enough, so that people seated could look over the heads of the trolls who were going to be showcasing their "prowess", and in only two rows.
The rest was open to the air of Trollveggen.
They'd built the whole thing near a grove of trees that she knew were important to them. The trolls referred to the place as the Grove of Spirits because they claimed walking through those woods would allow a person to hear the whispered words of those who had long ago passed.
Rose had felt the deep wells of magic that were feeding the roots of those trees. She had looked through the realms to see it. The whispering beauty of white magic, gleaming just beneath the surface.
At least she would be able to stare at that magic rather than pay attention to whatever they were doing.
The trolls around her were all wearing their finest clothes. And there were so many other women.
Rose even tilted her hood back a bit to look up at the people surrounding her.
The closest troll maiden was practically dripping with gemstones.
Earrings swung from her stretched lobes.
Tangled strands of gemstones looked like a waterfall dripping down to her neck, and some of them connected to an impressive spray of emeralds that dripped down her torso to create a top.
Her skirts were voluminous, pretty chiffon that must have cost half a year’s salary all the way down here in the depths.
The troll woman beyond her was similarly decorated, although in different colored stones that made an impressive spray of color along her skirts. Gemstones, jewelry that must have taken years to forge, it was all quite impressive to look at.
And even more confusing.
"Where are we again?" Rose asked as Astrid tugged her up the stairs to what she assumed were very good seats. Her sister had been talking about this for ages, but Rose hadn't been listening.
"The bridal games! I've only told you half a dozen times."
"Bridal games?" Rose scrunched up her nose. "What in the world do you mean by that?"
The troll woman next to her suddenly loomed into the conversation.
She had so many piercings on her face it looked like she was covered in stars.
"The bridal games only happen once a century.
It's a way for all the eligible trolls to show off.
Those who are interested in a mate will show themselves at the end of this.
We'll all gather in a line and then they’ll see who they are competing for. "
Astrid seemed to stiffen with every word. Apparently her sister thought that Rose was still far too delicate to even think about something like this.
Rose wasn't delicate. She was just... using everything as an excuse not to be here.
Shrugging, Rose turned her attention to the surrounding land that had been flattened.
Some of the trolls had earth magic. She had watched them smooth out the dirt here so that it wasn't quite an arena.
In the labyrinth, all the land in front of them would have been dirt.
There would have been blood soaking into the ground, and she would have been able to hear the echoes of the dying as she looked at the ground.
The land here had been laid out with moss. Soft, cushioning moss that made it impossible to even hear that there were still trolls walking across it to get to their seats. Pretty. Emerald green. So lovely that she knew it was intended to be a thing of beauty and not a showcase of power and pain.
Still, it was as good an excuse as any to disappear. Rose just didn't want to be here.
She was worried about Rhydian and what he was doing. He'd been so solemn yesterday. She hadn't had a good enough reason to see him today, but this was a good one.
Astrid reached for her hand and squeezed it. Rose's heart did that flippy-floppy motion it always did when her sister tried to connect with her. Like she enjoyed the connection, but also it was just... hard. Hard to connect with anyone these days.
The crowd roared, very excited now that they could see the men and women who were participating in the bridal games. They all rushed out in one big sprint. She could see quite a few of the men were jumping, likely to get as much attention on themselves as possible.
They were dressed in so little clothing she blinked forcefully a few times to make sure she was actually seeing what she thought she was.
The men wore little more than loincloths, and most of those were moving rather drastically as they jumped.
The women had bands around their breasts and similar cloths between their legs as the men, but that was it.
So much skin on display. So much muscle that made something in her stomach twist.
It wasn't that she was uncomfortable with other people's bodies. She had certainly seen enough in her day that it was hard to even think of them as anything other than meat suits that they all wore. But these were bodies that were meant to be seen.
"Look!" Astrid said, pointing at someone in particular. "I didn't think he'd actually do it."
Rose followed her finger and felt her entire world grind a halt.
Gunnar stood with some of the others. They were the last of the men who had wandered in.
He didn't jump or try to get attention. He didn't need to.
It was as if the light of this place sought him out.
It lingered on the curves of his muscles, caressed the trapeziuses that made his neck look so thick and his pectorals that made his entire body seem even larger than it already was.
He shoved one of the men next to him, clearly in jest as they both headed toward the crowd.
The others were already doing their rounds, flexing for women who shouted at them.
The women competing in the bridal games were a show to watch, considering many of them were already doing acrobatic acts that bent their bodies into all manner of twists and turns.
But Rose’s eyes were on Gunnar and Gunnar alone.
"He's competing?" she asked.
"Yes, I guess so. Ragnar was arguing with him about it, but apparently King Egil wants to see him married off, and sooner rather than later,” Astrid said.
“I wonder what kind of woman he'll go after.
Gunnar always seems so wild and untamed.
It's hard to imagine someone who could finally pin him down.
" She glanced over at Rose. "Although...
I suppose he's been rather domestic with you. "
Gunnar was competing in the bridal games.
For a bride.
Just like that, the world snapped out of existence.
She was sitting on the stands one second, and the next, she was in Rhydian's office.
At least this time she didn't have to walk around, wandering.
She could leave her body sitting right on those stands, pretending to watch like all the other people, but she didn't have to see what it was that had startled her.
Rhydian glanced up from his desk. She was seated at the matching desk, likely having suddenly blinked into his life as well.
"What are you doing here?" he asked. "You're supposed to be in Trollveggen."
"I know. There's one last piece to your puzzle. I'll find it." She looked down at her hands curled up in her lap and swallowed hard. "I just... I guess I had to leave for a little while."
He looked at her with pity and then set down his quill.
Details of the room slowly became clearer.
There was a fire in the hearth, one that she knew was carved with berries and pinecones that looked so real they could have pricked her finger if she touched one.
The warm carpet underneath her feet was woven by other elves in intricate spell patterns that she still didn't know how to read.
Rhydian’s feet were silent as he approached her and sat on the edge of her desk.
"Rose, I've been meaning to speak with you about these.
.. wanderings, as you call them." He took his glasses off and stared down his long nose at her.
His too wide eyes were filled with pity.
"You need to stop hiding here as much as you do. "
"This is more real to me than the other world."
"I know that. But... that's not healthy, you see? We need to make sure that you live. Because..." He sighed. Reached for her hands. Held them close as he had never done before, with a kindness she did not usually see from him.
Her heart sped up. "What is it?"
"Ask me the question again."
She gulped. "What question?"
"The question you always ask me. The question that means something and changes everything." He squeezed her hands, and she could feel how different they were from her own. Ice cold. So thin they were hard to hold on to. "Ask me."
"Why aren't you with the other elves? Why are you here with me?"
It was the question that had burned through her for countless years now. The one question he would never answer, no matter how many times she had asked it.
"Because I'm dead."
She stared at him. Surely she hadn't heard him right. There were a lot of different explanations for why she was the only one who could see him, why he was hiding in her head, but none of her theories had led her to this point.
"What?" she asked.
"I'm dead, Rose. I was killed centuries ago in the wars before the elves left.
Where your King James built his castle was an old battleground, the first and only battle where humans actually won.
I was one of many scholars who were forced to enlist as soldiers, and I was not a very good one.
" He released one of her hands to brush the backs of his fingers against her cheek.
"And then you found me. I was doomed to an eternity of boredom and then, in my wanderings, found a young human girl who had no idea how powerful her magic really was. "
"I don't have magic," she whispered. "They tried to find it for years until King James pulled it out of me. All I can do is disappear."
"Into the realm of the dead," Rhydian added with a nod.
"You can disappear. You are a Soul Walker, Rose.
And I attached myself to you for so many years now, selfishly, in the hopes that you would bring me peace.
You did so much more than that. But now I have to let you live.
I cannot hoard you and your magic to myself while knowing that there's a world out there for you to see. "
Tears burned in her eyes. "I don't understand. You've always been my safe place, Rhydian. I don't care if you're alive or if you're dead."
"And I care very much if you are alive or dead." He smiled at her, and the hearth faded away.
She could feel it. Him. Drifting away from her touch until there was only the phantom sensation of his hands holding on to her.
"Wait," she sobbed, croaking out the word because she didn't know how to get him to listen to her. "No, no you can't do this to me. Rhydian, you're my only friend."
"You cannot be friends with the dead, Rose. I think we both need a little time apart. And you need to focus on the gift you have been given. Life is not to be wasted, my dear. Take it from someone who's been dead a long time, you don't want to miss a drop of life."
“When will I see you again?” she begged.
“When I have proof that you’re really living.”
He faded away entirely, and suddenly she was shoved back into her body. Back into a roaring crowd of people she hadn't learned how to love or had even taken the time to know.
Her gaze locked onto Gunnar. Sweet, honest, steadfast Gunnar, who had remained with her no matter how hard that must have been for him. And somehow, a whisper in her mind told her that she couldn't let him go. Not yet. Not when she now had no one else.