Chapter 21 #2
"A dear friend. Tindra. Older than both Ragnar and myself by quite a bit, but she trained us how to fight.
Mostly me as we got older, since Ragnar was sent with the others who had some healing capabilities to learn with them.
" His brows softened a bit, and she knew these were happy memories for him.
"She put me in the dirt more times than I could count.
Everything I know came from her and her immense knowledge of battle. "
It all seemed past tense. Rose was certain there was something deeper here. A wound that she had never seen, and somehow her presence was helping to heal that wound.
"What happened to her?" she asked.
"She died. I couldn't save her. And I suppose in some way, I see her spirit in you.
I see a fighter and I don't want to lose someone like that again.
" A sheepish smile crossed his face. "I shouldn't put my own issues on you, I suppose.
But I piece things back together, Rose. And I watched your soul leave your body the first time I saw you.
You were an empty shell with nothing in it, just waiting for an order, even if that order was cruel.
I stayed with you all night until your soul came back and I knew I wouldn't stop chasing it until I could anchor your soul for you. "
How strange it was to understand his reasoning. His terrible reasoning.
"You have kept me around this long, bothering you for this long, because you like putting puzzles together?" she asked with a soft laugh. "That's a stupid reason to keep a problem like me, Gunnar."
He tilted his head back and laughed so hard it was like thunder. Her eyes followed the line of his throat, the muscles there working with his glee at what she had said, and she almost wanted to smile as well.
She didn't laugh. Rose wasn't sure she still knew how to do that.
But she knew that she enjoyed making him feel such mirth.
It made her feel powerful, in a way. Stronger.
Because she had made him see the world in a better light, and she wasn't some broken thing wandering around and almost getting herself killed.
Making him laugh gave her a presence, an anchor in this realm. Just the one. And it wasn't much of one, really. But it was a start.
Gunnar released his grip on her face, but it was a slow glide of his fingers as though he didn't really want to let her go. "Now, you continue to surprise me. I didn't know you'd have such dry humor."
"You don't know much about me at all."
"I only know what your sister has told me, actually." He stood up, dusting dirt off the knees of his pants. "How accurate are those stories?"
She made a face. "Probably not very accurate. Or... I don't know. I was a little shit of a kid who had no idea what the world was going to hand her."
"That's about what Astrid said."
"I was arrogant. Thought far too highly of myself. Chased the king because I wanted to be the most important person in the room." She snorted. "I guess he did make me that. His favorite whore to hand off to all his advisors. Fuck, I'm glad he's dead."
A lot of emotions crossed Gunnar's features. One by one. Anger. Guilty. Back to anger. And then a strangely quizzical expression as he looked her over.
"What?" she asked.
"I don't like hearing you call yourself a whore. If he wasn't dead, I would like to kill him again for doing that to you. But also I'm shocked to hear you swear, and I appreciate how feral you are in your anger."
"Sorry. I shouldn't be angry, I suppose."
Anger wasn't productive. Anger made people do stupid things, like throwing a vase at a grown man's head and then getting in even more trouble than ever.
But Gunnar made a tsking sound. "Of course you should be angry. Fuck them with the wide end of a rake! They never should have put their hands on you, and if I find them again, I'll bring them back and you can put that little kitchen knife of yours to good use."
"I'm not a killer."
"You already killed one man. What's a few more when you already know they don't deserve the air in their lungs?" He arched a brow at her until she gave a little shrug. "Exactly."
She stood there staring at him for a little longer, not quite knowing what to say.
How did one continue a conversation with someone when they were literally talking about murdering people?
Was she supposed to tell him that blood made her faint, and she'd need him to somehow give her the chance to kill them without any blood at all?
That was stupid. She was stupid. This whole conversation was.... well, not stupid at all. It had been very healing, but she wasn't going to tell him that.
He'd make that victorious expression, like he always did when he got somewhere with her. It was annoying.
Instead, she said, "I think I like talking with you, Gunnar."
"Good. I like talking to you as well." He gestured for her to walk ahead of him, back toward the gardens. "Surprisingly. I thought you'd be boring."
She shot him a look, and he laughed.
The sound of it was nice.