Chapter 36
Thirty-Six
Gunnar
He could have stayed like that with her for the rest of his life. Lying there on the moss, with her taste on his tongue and her limp body pressed against his, Gunnar felt complete. Nothing to find. Nowhere to go. Just him and her and the dreams of what they could do together.
Sure, no one knew they were already bonded. That was still going to be a hurdle they had to get over. Other than Ragnar, of course. His brother would stand up for him. Together, they would convince the king that even though they hadn’t played by the rules, love couldn't be argued with.
Love.
The word burned through his mind. She'd said she loved him, and he had felt a puzzle piece snap together in his chest. He wasn't just worthy of love. He already had it. Him. Gunnar. A man who had wandered so much in his life that no one had ever tried to love him.
And now here he was, with the most precious of women telling him that she loved him, and he didn't know what he had done to earn such a gift.
Holding her a little closer to him, he pressed another kiss to her hair and promised himself that he would never disappoint her. He would love her. Forever and even beyond that. Into the grave beyond, where only she could see.
Rose stirred against his chest, her hair sliding over his bare chest as she looked up at him. Again, that soft smile. The one he hadn't believed he would ever see. And then she giggled.
The sound did something to his chest that hurt. How long had she gone without laughing like that? How long had it been since she'd let herself feel the happiness it took to have a true laugh bubble out of her?
"When do we have to go back?" she asked.
"I don't know. I'm sure they're expecting everyone back within the hour. Although there are certainly couples who will take longer than that." He brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, letting the tip of his nail trail along her cheek. "We can take as long as we want."
"I wouldn't mind staying here for a little while." She sat up, and he saw a blush creep across her cheeks as she hid her breasts from his eyes. "I'm not used to being naked around anyone else."
His sweet, shy woman. Of course she wasn't.
"We're all born naked," he reminded her as he sat up with her and stretched his arms over his head. "If you want my shirt, though, I can get it for you."
She made a face, and he swore he saw her other hand steal behind her back to touch the skin there. Where he had come all over her like a boy who had never been with a woman.
He wasn't ashamed of that. He'd been enjoying himself, just like her. But he was certain she was rather... sticky.
He nodded toward the water that glowed a bright green behind her. "Would you like to wash off before you put that shirt on?"
"Very much so."
Rose moved to stand, but after all that she'd gifted him, he didn't want her walking anywhere. She had him now. If she didn't want to step foot on the earth again, then he would carry her everywhere she wanted to go.
Scooping her up in his arms, he walked down into the nearest pool. The water was bracingly cold, a sharp contrast to the usually heated pools and vents where the trolls bathed. He sucked in his breath, his stomach hollowing as he kept walking in with her.
She let out a shriek the moment the water touched her naked skin, clutching onto him for all the warmth he had, which wasn't much left by the time they were both up to their shoulders.
He was getting used to it, though. Slowly. Maybe.
"I thought it would be warmer," she chattered through shaking teeth. "Why isn't it warmer?"
"Only the hot springs are warm. The rest of the water comes from the top of the mountain, where it is currently winter." He'd done cold plunges like this when he was younger, and when the water had been crusted with ice.
Spinning her in his arms, he made quick work of washing her up. A handful of spongy moss helped, although there wasn't any soap for him to get her really clean. He didn't linger or touch as he might have wanted to, but he didn't know what would make her nervous.
If anything, he was as brisk as a servant might have been. Brushing her skin until it was slightly pink, then working through the tangles of her hair.
"How do you always have a rat's nest on top of your head?" he muttered. "I don't understand how this tangles so quickly."
She shrugged. "It's been that way my entire life. If I don't brush it twice a day..."
"So you said."
It still seemed like it should be damn well impossible to knot up like this. Her hair was like felt.
Grumbling under his breath, he worked through all the tangles until her hair was fine and smooth again. It didn't take too long, and by then, both of their teeth were chattering.
Gathering her up in his arms, he strode out of the water and let the icy liquid slough off of his body in massive sheets as he practically ran toward their clothing.
Of course, they didn't have a towel or any cloth to dry themselves. He supposed it wouldn't be that odd if he returned missing a shirt. He held it out for her, only to realize she was staring at him with wide eyes.
Looking him over.
Appraising what was damn well hers now that they were bonded. Now that she had allowed him to kiss her everywhere he wanted to kiss her.
He preened under her attention, flexing his stomach and his arms a little more. "Well?" he said, trying very hard to sound seductive. "Do you like what you see?"
She had tilted her head to the side a little, and then he realized her attention was almost too focused on his member. "I remember it being bigger only a few moments ago."
Looking down, he heaved a great sigh. The damn thing was just as cold as he was, and of course it had looked bigger moments ago. "Rose, I don't have the time to explain male anatomy to you. He's cold. He'll be more impressive the next time you see him."
"Would it get bigger if I touched it?"
Yes, that did the trick. He could already feel the blood rushing to between his legs with a startling force that almost made him lightheaded.
With another giggle that chimed like bells through the clearing, she took his shirt and made quick work of drying herself. That show also did not help, and by the time she was dry, dressed, and handing him his shirt back, he wasn't even sure he could get his pants on.
Grumbling at her, he waved for her to head into the forest ahead of him. "I'll catch up."
"That bad?"
"And to think, you were a meek, shy woman only a few weeks ago."
"I was never meek or shy. I was just taking my time to come back to myself." There was no sadness in the way she said it. Maybe even a hint of pride in there.
He'd have stared after her with his jaw hanging open if he hadn't realized they did need to get back to the clearing with the others. And he was the one now standing nude in the midst of the forest, waiting for someone to find him with his bare arse hanging out.
He quickly yanked his pants on and rushed after her. The last thing he wanted was for her to wander through the woods on her own, if only because he feared it might be dangerous. But she was so confident as she stepped through the trees.
Reaching overhead, she moved the leaves out of her way, looking like a ghost all on her own. Like some ephemeral being he had discovered, as he tracked her path while she left glowing footprints in the moss.
His heart was so full. Watching the trailing edge of her pretty gown, seeing her hair getting caught in the limbs of the trees above her like spider silk.
And the heated glances she kept sending back to him.
Perhaps she was not yet whole, and perhaps she never would be.
But she was no longer afraid of living, and he was the lucky one who got to be in her life.
As they got closer to the clearing, she paused and stood at the edge of the tree line, waiting for him to join her.
Then, quietly, she said, "I think my whole life all I've ever wanted to do was serve others.
I felt a need to provide a service to someone.
That if I didn't give them what they wanted, then they wouldn't want me around in their life.
I had to prove that I was valuable enough to people, and that's been something I fought with for years. "
She took a deep breath and then swallowed, the sound more of a gulp. But she still pulled herself back together and continued.
"When I met you in the labyrinth, you were the first person who asked nothing of me.
You told me to rest and that you would stand guard, and I thought for a second, good.
Because I was so tired of serving. And maybe it was silly, but you were the only person I've ever decided to not give anything back to.
I didn't prove that I was valuable in your life.
I did nothing that would make you keep me around, and yet.
.. you stayed. For a year. You kept me, and I think more than anything else you've done, that is what has mattered the most. You asked for nothing and still gave your whole self. "
She was wrong. She had given him a lot of reasons to stick with her.
Small glimpses of who she was and how funny she could be.
He'd loved watching her blossom all this time.
She'd given him someone to look after because that's all he had ever wanted.
To keep someone safe and happy and to be useful in his own way.
But he didn't say any of that. She didn't need to hear that right now.
Instead, he cupped her jaw, holding her face so that he could trace the outline of her pretty lips with his thumb.
"You never had to prove yourself valuable to me, Rose.
I don't need you to give me a reason to be with you.
You are more than enough without being a servant, a slave, a sexual partner, any of it. You are enough. Just as you are."
Tears glittered in her eyes. "I knew you would say that. And that's all I ever wanted to hear from anyone."
By the gods, this woman was going to be the end of him.
Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, he tugged her against his side. "Men are stupid."
"Incredibly so."
"And you should hate them for what they did to you."
"Most of them I do."
"Who do you not hate?"
She chuckled. "You."
"Ah, well." He sucked in a deep breath, making his chest stick out as far as he possibly could. "I am better than most men, so that is not surprising. I think I should win an award for that."
"And Ragnar. I don't mind him."
He nodded. "My brother is very good with most people, unless that person is his own wife. For some reason, he sticks his foot in it every time it comes to her. The man is a complete and utter dolt in a relationship. He was an ass most of their early courtship."
"He's still an ass," she replied dryly.
Gunnar couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing, and likely the others in the clearing could hear him as they strode out of the forest. "Yes, yes, he is. He's trying, though."
"Sometimes I think he's learning." She seemed to think for a little while longer. "And I like Bjorn well enough. It's just hard to be around him. I think it's hard for him to be around me as well, considering all that we know about each other."
"You were in the same circles, I suppose."
"Well, and I always knew what he did to those women.
I understand why he did it. I would have begged him for death as well if I had been given to him.
But they only gave him the ones who wanted to die.
They knew he'd kill them, but they didn't understand it was for mercy's sake.
" A troubled expression crossed her face.
"I should probably apologize to him someday for thinking the worst of him in those times. "
"No dark thoughts, remember?" He squeezed her a little tighter as the crowd appeared before them. "Who else do you like?"
"Torbin. Birgir is really nice too, even if he's a little grumpy." She stepped a little closer to him as they reached the first group of trolls who had been waiting for them to return. "And I like Magnus too. Just don't tell him."
"I wouldn't dare. I want him to think you despise him." Gunnar pressed a kiss to the top of her head and plunged into the crowd.
The trolls all congratulated him, although there were a lot of curious looks in their direction as well. Rose was obviously not herself, or at least that was how it must have looked to them. But he knew she was more herself than she had been in a long time.
They were one of the final pairs to return. Although Vigdis and her man were the very last. She looked disappointed. She was the only one who looked as such, and the man who had gone with her was just dazed. Confused, maybe?
King Egil shouted for everyone's silence, and they all stood at attention, giving their king their undivided attention.
"This is the final game!" the king announced. "If you wish to change partners, please do so now."
Only Vigdis shifted. She moved slightly to the left, farther away from the man who had clearly disappointed her and toward a woman who was tall and broad.
At that, the king grinned. "Then let the bonding begin!"
A cheer rose, but Gunnar felt all the blood drain out of his face. He hadn't thought they would do that so soon. They would know. The blood witch would know that he had Rose had already done this.
He glanced down at her to see all the pride glittering in her eyes, and he realized he didn't have it in him to be frightened of what would come. Because she wasn't. Because his strong woman had a spine of steel, she wasn't afraid.
So neither was he.