Chapter 13
Wyatt’s eyes bore into me, cutting deep at my insides and reminding me of all that I had lost. All that I’d purposely given up because he couldn’t give me one simple thing.
The longer he stared at me, the more I thought about our baby growing in my stomach, the life we could have had if I hadn’t fucked everything up.
But I couldn’t just say forget it now. He’d always wonder if what we had was enough.
If he was enough. I couldn’t do that to him. Wouldn’t.
He was enough. He was too much. So freaking perfect in every way, but for the one thing that once didn’t matter to me but now was a deal breaker.
I didn’t want to resent him one day. It was starting to form inside me already.
Little nudges of disappointment every time I thought he’d propose, and he didn’t.
Every wedding we attended. Every proposal we witnessed.
The little girl inside me kept surfacing, kept asking when it was her turn.
I did what I thought needed to be done. And now… Now I wasn’t sure she’d ever get her turn.
“I think I should go back to Meadows.”
“What? No. I mean. How do you even know everyone knows?”
“When Brady was owning your ass yesterday—”
“Hey!” He held his hand up. “He did not own my ass. I was defenseless against his attacks. He was armed with a ball, and I was practically naked on a platform. Might as well have been locked in a pillory in the town square.”
My eyebrow raised; a slight laugh rumbled in my throat. No matter the mood, the context, or the day, Wyatt could always make me laugh.
“I apologize.” This time I held my hands up.
“Thank you, Grasso. That is very big of you.”
“I aim to please.” The lie burned my tongue as it left. If I aimed to please, I wouldn’t be sitting here about to have this conversation. I forced the bitterness down. “Meadow told me I can stay with her for as long as I need.”
Wyatt shook his head. “Don’t you miss our… I mean your bed?”
“That’s just it, Wy. It’s our bed. And last night…” I inhaled, remembering the cold feel of his side of the mattress. “I felt guilty you were on the couch.”
“I’ll leave then.”
“What? No.” I didn’t want him to have to leave his home because of me. It was my decision that we weren’t together, and I didn’t want him to have to suffer any more than he already was.
“You haven’t been home in a week. It’s my turn.”
“Where would you go?” Any one of my family members would take him in a heartbeat. Heck, they’d probably take him before me.
“Ben has been staying at your sister’s. He’s been talking about getting rid of his place once the lease is up. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I crashed there until we…” He cleared his throat. “Figure things out.”
My stomach twisted. What was there to figure out, really? I wanted a future he couldn’t promise.
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to leave,” I said, even though everything inside of me screamed for him to fight for me.
To say screw it all and tell me he wanted the life I dreamed about.
That he changed his mind. He wanted me to see me in a white dress at the altar, and he wanted to say “I do” in front of all our family and friends.
But Wyatt wasn’t the type of man who said things to make someone else happy in the moment. He was honest to a fault. He would never lie to me. And I respected the hell out of that.
“You didn’t ask me to leave,” he said, his smile not touching his eyes. “I offered.”
My stomach didn’t just twist—it wrenched.
“I hate this.”
“I know. It’s killing you.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because it’s killing me, too.”
My breath hitched.
He reached out as if he were going to caress my cheek, then hesitated.
His hand lingered like us, stuck in an in-between.
Finally, he brushed a finger under my chin and brought his hand back to rest on the table in front of him.
“I wanted forever with you, Rosebud. Still do. But I’ve always been honest about not believing in marriage.
It doesn’t change how much I love you. Doesn’t make what we had any less real. ”
“It changes how I feel and…” My lashes flooded, and I swiped at them angrily. “I didn’t expect it to. I love you, but—”
“You want more.”
“I do.”
“And that’s okay. You’re allowed to want more.”
“I just… I woke up one day and knew I wanted to build a life with someone who wanted all of it. The ring. The vows. The ultimate declaration of love.”
His jaw tightened. “Then I’m not your guy anymore.”
His words stabbed me in the heart like a knife, twisting and turning until I swear it stopped beating. My vision blurred as a new wall of moisture built. “I guess not.” I blinked, causing a leak in the wall, but I ignored it. “But you were my guy. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.”
He took my hand and squeezed it. “If you ever change your mind…” A disgusted laugh stopped his words. “No. That’s not fair.” He inhaled, let go of my hand, and pushed from the table. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
He kissed the top of my head. “I’ll come by later to get some of my stuff.
We have the wedding on Saturday… We fly out Friday night.
I’ll have the car service swing by here to get you.
” He grabbed his keys and took what little pieces of my heart that were left with him as he walked out the door and out of my life.
And I didn’t stop him.
***
Somehow, I dragged my ass to the bathroom to do my hair and put makeup on.
I had to get this nausea under control before Wyatt figured out I was pregnant.
From what I read, the first trimester was crucial.
There was a reason people waited to let others know.
So many things could go wrong. There was no need to flip his world upside down just yet.
A knock sounded at the door, and my heart stuttered. Hope rose inside me, but I quickly squashed it down. If Wyatt had come back, he would have used his key to let himself in. He wouldn’t knock.
I opened the front door and sighed when Sherry and Chardonnay stood on my doorstep, holding coffee cups from Espresso Yourself and concerned smiles.
“Morning!” Sherry announced with a little too much cheer.
“Morning,” I said, not even trying to match her enthusiasm.
“I told you not to overdo it.” Char elbowed Sherry in the side.
Sherry gave her the evil eye. “I’m sorry not everyone can nail your icy exterior.”
“If you’re going to continue arguing out there, I’m going to shut the door. You’re letting the bugs in.” I started to ease the door closed, and Chardonnay smacked the wood, pushing it open.
“We’re done.” She stepped inside dressed in a tailored to perfection pair of black dress pants with a thin belt and a neatly tucked-in short-sleeve white button-up.
Sherry was just as well put together but opted for a cute short-sleeve navy blue dress with a collar and gold buttons. I love raiding their closets, but pretty soon none of their clothes will fit me.
I resisted the urge to press my hand to my stomach and wandered into the kitchen, knowing they would follow.
“I’m guessing you’re here because word has officially spread?” I asked. Char knew, she told me as much, but when the truth was finally free to fly, it was a whole new ball game.
Sherry handed me a coffee cup, and I knew without even tasting it, it was my favorite. Which meant it wasn’t decaf. I read conflicting things about consuming coffee when pregnant, and I didn’t know what to believe. I took the cup, but didn’t take a sip, and smiled. “Thanks.”
“Wyatt called Ben not that long ago,” Sherry said.
“Oh.”
“He asked if he could stay at his place for an undetermined amount of time.”
I traced the rim of the cup with my thumb, watching the steam curling upward from the dark liquid.
“Are you guys really broken up?” Sherry asked, and my attention swung tentatively to Char, who gave me a knowing smile and nodded her encouragement. She knew. I had a feeling Sherry knew too, but she wanted to hear me say it.
“We are.” My voice cracked, and I cleared my throat in a sad attempt to cover it up. I wasn’t fooling anyone, especially not the two girls who knew me best.
“What the hell happened?” Sherry pulled out a chair and plopped into it. Even she couldn’t hold herself up at the news.
I slid into the chair across from her, placing my coffee in front of me, wishing I could guzzle it down. “I realized I want to get married, and he doesn’t.”
The chair squeaked across the floor as Chardonnay pulled it out and sat. She took my hand and squeezed.
“He could change his mind,” Sherry said. “You both could. Heck, you did. You never wanted to get married, and now here you are. Maybe he will, too.”
“He won’t,” I said. “He all but told me he hoped the next guy would give me everything I wanted.”
“No fucking way,” Sherry said. “Wyatt would never. He loves you too damn much.”
“Which is exactly why he would say that,” Char said. “He’s only ever wanted you to be happy. He’d do anything to make it happen, even if that means giving you up.”
“I know.”
“No!” Sherry exclaimed. “This is ridiculous.”
“Sher,” Char warned, but Sherry ignored her.
“I have never met two people more compatible with each other than you two. You don’t just love each other. You love each other. The kind of love people search for their entire lives. Before Ben, I was jealous of what you two had. I wanted it for myself so badly.”
“And now you have it, and I’m so happy for you.” I smiled, but Sherry rolled her eyes.
“Give me a break.”
“Sher!” Char’s voice cut through the kitchen with force.
“Shut up, Char. You’re thinking it too, but for some reason you’re playing the nice sister.”
“I’m not here to tell Rose how to feel. Frankly, it’s none of our damn business,” Chardonnay said to Sherry.
“She has to figure it out on her own, just like I had to figure out my shit with Brady, and you had to figure out your stuff with Ben.” She leaned back in her chair and took a sip of coffee. “We’re here to listen. Not lecture.”
Sherry huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “Fine. I’ll shut up. But if this ends with both of them heartbroken and single for the next fifty years, an ‘I told you so’ is coming.”
I let out a breathy exhale that was less humor and more relief. “Duly noted.”
My fingers tightened around the coffee cup, my stomach knotted, but not from nausea this time—from nerves.
I hadn’t planned on telling them about the pregnancy yet.
I could barely believe it myself, despite my mornings comprising puke and crackers.
I’d planned to talk when Wy and I got back from the wedding, but with them sitting beside me, the secret growing inside me, the pressure to keep up appearances… it was too much.
I looked between the two people I would trust my entire life with. “I need to tell you something.” My voice came out quieter than expected, like I was whispering a secret, and maybe I was.
Both their heads snapped toward me. My hand drifted to my stomach without thinking, and my fingers splayed protectively over the still flat skin.
“I’m pregnant.”
Shery blinked. “You’re… Wait. What?”
Chardonnay didn’t move, didn’t say anything, but her eyes didn’t waver from me.
“I found out the morning I left for Meadow’s actually. It’s why I left. We had broken up the night before. Wy slept on the couch, and I woke up puking my guts out. I took a test… it was positive.”
Chardonnay finally glanced at Sherry. They shared a look, then Char inhaled, lips pressing together before turning back to me. “Does Wyatt know?”
“What do you think?”
Sherry jumped up, her chair practically knocking over. “You have to tell him!”
Char’s gaze, still intense, stayed on me. “She can’t. Not yet, at least.”
“What are you talking about? He has a right to know.”
“He does, but if she tells him now, he’ll feel obligated to marry her because it’s what she wants.”
“Good!” Sherry exclaimed, but Char got it. She got me.
Char shook her head. “Not good. She’ll never know if he did it because he truly wanted to or if he did it out of obligation.”
Sherry sank into her chair, her excitement evaporating.
“She’s right,” I added. “It couldn’t have come at a worse time, honestly. But I know if Wyatt found out, he would marry me tomorrow.”
“Shit,” Sherry muttered and took my hand while Char took my other.
I laughed. “Yeah. Shit.”
“You’re going to have to tell him eventually,” Sherry said. “You’re not going to be able to hide it. That man knows your body.”
“I know, which is why I plan on telling him when we get back from the wedding, before Cynthia’s bachelorette party.
I can fake drinking through the wedding.
There’s no chance I can at the bachelorette party.
” Plus, weddings wore Wy out. He needed to be on his game, and this news…
he wouldn’t be able to act like everything was okay.
A warm droplet of water hit my hand, though I hadn’t even realized I was crying.
“I hate to put you in this situation, but can you keep this between us three until I talk to Wy? I know that’s not fair, and it’s asking a lot. I don’t want you to lie to Brady or Ben.”
“Done,” my sisters said in perfect synchronization. My heart lifted immediately.
“We’ve got you,” Char added. “Always have and always will.”