Chapter 3
Three
“That’s enough!” Annie yelled.
Leon and Noel froze. Noel was halfway to the other side of the ferry, and Leon had one leg up on a table.
Whenever she had to take them on the ferry, Annie always foolishly imagined driving on board with them sleeping peacefully in their car seats.
But there was no sleeping. There was no keeping them in their car seats. Annie’s only option was to take them upstairs, onto the passenger decks, where they ran amok as she chased after them, her face red and her nerves pulled as tight as violin strings.
Their excitement over the boat, and the water, and the people, had built to an explosive crescendo until someone ended up yelling – normally, all three of them. This time, Annie broke first.
As per tradition, she immediately felt terrible, but it was too late. The mood was ruined, and as soon as she got control of them, the announcement rang out that they were pulling into Anacortes ferry terminal.
She’d almost made it the entire way without losing it.
Almost.
She took each twin by the hand and rushed them back to the car. Noel was defiant, whining, and Leon was sullen. Annie drove off the ferry and straight to their meeting place with Roy, the local McDonald’s.
He was already waiting when she got there, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the hood of his new Mercedes.
“Was the boat late?” he asked.
No hello. No how are you. Only Roy’s new car and his ever-tightening t-shirts, his muscles larger and more veiny than she’d ever seen them in their nearly two decades together.
Was he trying to get down to zero percent body fat?
Every time she saw him, it gave her a jump scare to see him looking so wiry.
It looked like Roy, but it wasn’t Roy. It wasn’t the man she’d loved for so long. It was his uncanny mid-life crisis replacement.
“It was late, yeah.” Annie pulled open Noel’s door.
She was mindful not to apologize. It wasn’t her fault the ferry was late. The ferry was always late.
“Hi girlie!” he said brightly.
“Daddy!” Noel yelled, arms outstretched.
He pulled her from the car seat. “This wouldn’t be a problem if you’d move to Seattle like you said you would,” he murmured, a bright smile on his face.
Heat rose in her head, flaring as it hit the top.
Annie took a deep breath. She was not going to lose her temper again in front of the kids, and she was not going to make this exchange any worse than it needed to be.
There was no need to point out that if he hadn’t moved from the island it wouldn’t be a problem, that his job was remote and he didn’t need to live in the city in the first place, and that it was far too expensive for her to live in Seattle, especially since she’d had to drop out of her PhD program during their divorce and now she was stuck earning the same wage she’d earned while she supported him through his career growth.
She wasn’t going to say any of that out loud, at least.
“Did you remember the extra clothes this time?” he asked.
She unbuckled Leon. “I did.”
Noel whined, unhappy no one was listening to her, and threw her hands to her face in anguish. “Time for snack!”
Annie clenched her jaw. Of course. The kids were not only tired; they were hungry. They’d missed their nap for this exchange, and despite their excitement over the ferry ride, they were tense, too.
And what had Annie done? Instead of anticipating this, instead of reminding herself of these facts so she could be the adult in the situation, she had yelled at them.
The situation was hard to get used to for everyone. Initially, during the divorce proceedings, things were so civil it didn’t seem they needed a formal custody agreement. Roy was adamant he’d be seeing the kids fifty percent of the time.
The idea of being away from them so often broke Annie’s heart, but she said nothing. She knew the kids needed their dad.
In practice, however, it ended up being more like one weekend a month, or whenever Roy could coordinate his work schedule, and his hiking schedule, and his mom’s schedule.
They’d also left out any formal child support negotiations, because Roy reasoned they would both have the kids half the time and didn’t need it.
Annie could kick herself now, but at the time, she was dealing with her high school sweetheart. How could that man be the same one who could hardly find time to see his kids? One whose monetary support dwindled to nothing, lest Annie nag and beg him for it?
Which she wouldn’t do.
“I already had to buy another set of car seats,” he added, taking Leon by the hand. Then, more loudly, “Hey buddy, how’s it going?”
Leon stared at him.
Annie opened her trunk, her hand scraping on an edge of rust. She wiped her hand on her pants. “Here is the diaper bag and their extra clothes. I packed some snacks for the car. They did not have a nap on the ferry.”
“Terrific,” he said sarcastically, flashing a fake smile.
Annie helped get them into the car, and once the doors shut, she stood back and waved.
“I’ll see you soon. I love you.”
This time, Annie managed to bite the tears back until she got into her car. Roy pulled away, the car disappearing from sight in seconds.
This was the moment she’d imagined all week—watching them drive off. Her nerves were shot, and all morning, instead of enjoying her time with them, she’d rushed around and worried and run from that image.
Now, she sat in the silence. There were no tiny voices whining. No hands reaching for her.
Wasn’t this what she wanted? A break? Wasn’t this what she’d wished for only a few days ago, when they were within reach? They’d all three sat at the dinner table, yogurt smeared everywhere, all giggles and screams.
But no, now there was nothing but guilt. Annie took a breath and got out of her parking spot.
There was some time before her return trip to the island. She made the drive out of town to a restaurant she’d always liked and ate a meal by herself at the diner counter. She forced herself to read a book on her phone and sipped on coffee.
She managed to get through five chapters, more than she’d gotten through all month. The daring Viscount risked it all and now there was no doubt how he felt. He was the perfect man, playfully flirtatious but astoundingly noble. Handsome. Fiercely in love with the woman of his dreams.
A fantasy, she knew, but one she couldn’t look away from.
On the drive back to the ferry, a billboard caught her eye.
She blinked twice, thinking she was imagining it.
It was a picture of a man – a firefighter – in a white shirt and yellow suspenders.
He had black hair and smoldering brown eyes.
It almost looked like the man she’d seen at the grocery store – but no. It couldn’t be.
Beneath him read, “Marry my dad! Email Bella226@ and tell me about why I should pick you!”
Annie sputtered out a laugh. It couldn’t possibly be real. She wanted to take a picture, but she couldn’t react in time.
Luckily for Annie, there were more ads on the ferry. One, where the handsome stranger had an ax slung over his shoulder, took up the entire wall near the bathroom. It said, “He didn’t start the fire! My dad is looking for love, contact me to see if you’re a match!”
It was him. The unbelievably handsome cookie rescuer. She stared at him, unashamed because he wasn’t able to look back at her.
No wonder she’d gone into shock when she’d seen him. He was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen.
Annie chortled a laugh and snapped a picture, immediately sending it to her mom. It was just the sort of thing that would cheer her up, sitting alone in that rehab facility.
She replied right away. “That is too cute! Should I submit your resume?”
“Ha ha. Don’t even think about it,” Annie texted.
“How was drop off?” her mom asked.
“Not bad,” Annie lied.
Her mom sent back a sad face. “Try to take your mind off things. Do something fun this weekend. Something other than coming to see little old me.”
Well, that wasn’t going to happen. Though her mom insisted she was making friends, Annie didn’t buy it. She felt awful she wasn’t able to come and see her more.
On the bright side, Margie said she’d find someone to help get the house in order so her mom could come home soon. That would help her breathe easier.