Chapter 26 #3
As Bets was tidying the consulting room, getting everything ready for the afternoon session, Jack disappeared and returned a few minutes later with a cup of coffee for her.
‘Thank you. It’s not my birthday, is it?’ she asked, painfully aware of how understanding he was being.
‘I thought you might want to avoid the staffroom for the time being. Diane’s in there.’
Bets took a sip of her coffee and sighed. She was going to have to face everyone and their questions sooner or later. ‘I bet she’s dying for the inside scoop.’
‘I’m sure she is, but you don’t owe anyone anything. What you do is your own business.’ He shot her a brisk smile. ‘And you shouldn’t worry about what anyone else thinks.’
‘I do since everyone has decided they have a right to stick their noses in my business and manage my life for me,’ said Bets a touch bitterly.
Jack huffed out a begrudging laugh. ‘Welcome to my world. Why do you think I stayed away so long? But they mean well. They care.’
Bets screwed up her face. ‘At least you got away and were able to be yourself instead of stepping into the you-shaped mould everyone expected you to be. I don’t feel I’ve changed at all.
I’m still the person they expect me to be.
I want to be respected for what I am instead of what people think I should be.
Everyone thought I should be grateful to you for choosing to go out with me, you know. ’
He winced. ‘I never thought that.’
‘Didn’t you?’ she challenged, putting a hand on her hip, watching as worry clouded his eyes. At least he was thinking about her words instead of just dismissing them.
‘Is that why you’ve signed up for the comedy? I’m not prying. I don’t need any more details.’
‘I wanted to step out of my comfort zone. To do something no one expected me to do. To find out if I could be someone different.’ She paused and then gave him a smile. ‘Turns out I can.’
‘Good for you. You were always good at drama and performing at school. You were in the school play every year. I remember you stole the show when you played Sir Toby Belch when we did Twelfth Night in the sixth form.’
Bets shrugged, embarrassed by the praise. ‘It’s easy to play the fool.’
‘Why don’t you take the compliment? I bet you’re brilliant at stand-up.’ He grinned at her. ‘You’ve always had comic timing and there’s a warmth about you which will get the audience on your side.’
‘Blimey, when did you get to be such an expert?’ She damped down the glow of feeling ignited by his words. She didn’t want to like him.
‘I saw a lot of stand-up in Bristol. Usually after a few beers. There was that place that opened round the corner from us in my final year.’
‘I wouldn’t know,’ she said a touch tartly, remembering that he had lived a life quite happily without her.
‘It was good to go and get your mind off studying for a while. I was working really hard that year. Not just trying to put you off. I wanted that first so badly and I’m sorry if I neglected you.’
‘You did,’ she said. ‘Although maybe I understand a bit more now about being hungry for something for yourself.’ Now that she wanted more out of life for herself.
‘I really wanted to prove to Dad and Devon that I had what it takes. That I wasn’t in their shadow but a good vet in my own right. So I kind of understand what you mean about … being in my shadow.’
‘You never said anything,’ she said, puzzled. ‘Not once.’ She couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever voiced any misgivings or doubts about his own abilities.
Now it was his turn to shrug. ‘You always looked up to me, made me feel invincible – you were the last person I was going to tell that I was worried that I wouldn’t or couldn’t measure up.’
Her mouth dropped open in an ‘o’ of amazement.
‘You’re kidding,’ she said appalled. ‘I thought I was your best friend and that you could tell me anything.’
‘You were but…’ He frowned and caught his lip between his teeth before continuing. ‘You put me on a pedestal. I didn’t feel like I could … let you down.’
‘My boyfriend, the vet,’ she murmured suddenly seeing it with clarity.
‘Ouch. I was so proud of you, especially the reflected glory.’ She remembered how impressed her friends had been when she’d first started going out with him.
and how her mother, too, had been impressed that she’d secured someone with a brain and prospects.
‘It wasn’t that,’ he protested but it was half-hearted rebuttal.
‘It was, Jack.’ She gave him a direct look; she was nothing if not honest. It was one hell of a revelation but it was true. ‘I was like a dog with two tails that I’d bagged you. Bets, the council-estate girl, hooked the most popular, smartest boy in school.’
‘You were never like that,’ he said.
But she had been. Had she liked the idea of who Jack was more than the man he was?
It was a sobering thought, one that had never occurred to her before.
She’d believed she was the injured party but had she been lying to herself just a little bit?
Maybe she hadn’t been the perfect girlfriend after all.