Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Darcy kept to his study all morning. Cowardice did not sit well with him, but the desire to take Elizabeth—as she was now in all his thoughts—into his arms and comfort her was so strong that he did not trust himself to behave rationally in her presence.
If he admired her before, then surely it was time to admit that he loved her now.
Over and over, he pictured her face as she told him of Wickham’s attack, and he cursed himself violently that he had not been able to protect her.
Blood boiled in his veins at the notion of her coming to harm.
You had always known of Wickham’s volatility, his internal critic admonished. Why did you not speak to Father sooner?
Dipping his pen in the ink, Darcy studied his letter.
Hand hovering, he considered his words. He had promised to encourage Fitzwilliam to return to Pemberley.
Elizabeth loved his cousin; he was sure of it.
For her sake, he would reunite them. It would be easy to persuade Fitzwilliam of the very jewel waiting for him, then Darcy’s conscience might be eased knowing that he had helped Elizabeth to secure her heart’s desire.
But what of your own heart? Darcy silenced the nagging voice inside himself, desperately trying not to imagine how it would feel to witness the only woman he had ever loved marry a man he considered a brother.
Valiantly he returned to his task, detailing how unsettled Georgiana had been and how his cousin’s presence would be a comfort.
You have spoken at length of your plans for the future—I hope that you would consider Miss Bennet’s happiness in them.
With her kindness of spirit, intelligence, and good humour, it would be an honour to welcome her into our family.
You may depend on me should you need support in persuading your father of her suitability.
Even as he wrote them, he felt the inadequacy of his words.
Simply evoking her name in his mind caused his heart to pound a dangerous, unsteady beat.
Elizabeth, he tortured himself. I do this for you, my dearest, loveliest Elizabeth.
Finishing his letter with an entreaty to be informed of how he might best assist his uncle, he sealed and addressed the note, then rang for the butler.
Mr Talbot arrived promptly and accepted the letter with a bow. “I know you wished to be informed when Miss Darcy is awake. She is having breakfast in the morning room.”
Darcy nodded in thanks. “And Miss Bennet?” he asked tentatively.
“She has gone for a walk with her aunt.”
“How did she seem?”
“Tired, sir.” Mr Talbot’s expression softened. “But I am sure the fresh air will do her some good. She does love to be out of doors.”
There was an affectionate reverence to his servant’s voice that Darcy had never heard before. He caught Mr Talbot’s eye. “I hardly need to remind you that the events of last night are to remain between us.”
“You have my word, sir. There is not one thing that I would do to bring harm to this family, sir, nor to Miss Bennet. I have nothing but admiration for her.”
As do I, Darcy privately added. “Tell my sister I intend to join her presently.”
Mr Talbot bowed again and left Darcy alone to consider Elizabeth’s words from the night before.
Out of all the many painful revelations had come the observation that Georgiana desired to be closer to him and he kept himself shut away.
This was a deficit for him to remedy, and he would not delay another moment in doing so.
Vases of cut roses and honeysuckle were dotted about the morning room.
Darcy smiled at the sight, certain they were Elizabeth’s doing.
Georgiana sat alone at the table, her hand outstretched to stroke one of the petals.
She smiled weakly as he entered, her face pale against the shadows under her eyes.
“Hannah was sleeping in my room this morning,” she said softly. “How far did I wander this time?”
I could lie, Darcy thought. She need never know what danger she was in. Elizabeth’s face danced before his eyes, reminding him that he should be more honest with his sister.
“To the lake,” he said quietly, not liking how her eyes widened in panic.
“I had no idea,” she whispered. “Please send my apologies to any servant that found me.”
“It was Miss Bennet,” he said gently.
Georgiana gasped and looked down, her eyes fixed upon a spot on the tablecloth. “I must beg for her forgiveness at once.”
“She would never accept your apologies, for she knows—as well as I—that you have no control over these episodes and none of it is your fault.”
A tear rolled down his sister’s cheek, and Darcy offered her his handkerchief. She took it and wiped her eyes before averting her gaze once more. “Was she scared?”
Darcy’s heart clenched in memory of Elizabeth’s terror.
“A little, yes, but mostly she was incredibly brave.” He put his hand over Georgiana’s in a mute entreaty for her to look at him.
Eventually she raised her watery eyes to his.
“In a way, I am glad she was the one to discover you, for it allowed me to explain some of what troubles you, and—”
“You told her of—”
“Yes,” Darcy replied carefully. “After all these months together, I thought it best for her to know.”
A fresh wave of tears filled Georgiana’s eyes. “And…what did she say?”
Bile rose in Darcy’s throat when he remembered Elizabeth’s anguish. “Courageously, she gave me permission to share with you a painful experience in the hope it might ease your distress. She wishes you to know that you are not alone in your dealings with Wickham.”
In hesitant tones, he explained to his sister all that Elizabeth had disclosed. It was an act he hoped never to repeat, but he told himself that if Elizabeth could have borne this pain with such fortitude, then so would he.
Georgiana’s expression was horrified. “My poor dear! And she was fifteen too! The same age as I when that scoundrel sought to take advantage of me.”
Darcy nodded, noting that this was the most vehement he had ever known his sister to be in regard to Wickham. Suddenly, he knew that to end the conversation there would do Elizabeth’s bravery a disservice, and he took a deep breath. “There is more.”
Over the next twenty minutes, he told his sister all that he could within the strictures of polite conversation.
Of Wickham’s debts, of his lies, and—with great difficulty—of his seduction and abandonment of a young maid, and then finally of his death; Darcy laid the whole truth bare before Georgiana.
“He is dead?” Her face was stricken. “Why did you not tell me before?”
He regarded her anxiously. “I worried that you might be overcome with grief.”
She caught his expression and smiled bravely.
“I am shocked to hear of his death, but after learning of his deplorable conduct against dear, innocent Elizabeth, I shall not be sad. He was given every advantage by our father and chose to squander them. His heart was cruel, and I-I think he deserved his fate.”
Surprised, Darcy squeezed her hand. “I am glad to hear you say it. In my opinion, he is not even worth your tears.”
Georgiana nodded thoughtfully. “Why did you not tell me of Mrs Stopford and her baby?”
“You were only a child when much of this occurred. It is hardly a conversation for a young woman, let alone a girl.” Emotion caught in his throat.
“And I believed I was protecting you. I promised our parents most faithfully that I would always watch over you, and I thought by shielding you from the harsh realities of life I was preventing any harm from falling upon your shoulders. You are the most precious thing in the world to me. I could not bear to see how I failed you.”
Without warning, Georgiana flung herself into his arms and hugged him tightly. “Never say that about yourself.” Her voice was muffled in his coat. “I could not ask for a better brother.”
He pulled her closer. “I am only sorry I did not tell you sooner.”
“What made you change your mind?”
Elizabeth, he thought. I wish to be a man worthy of her estimation. “Miss Bennet persuaded me that you should know the truth of it.”
Georgiana lifted her head from his chest and gave a watery laugh. “I did not think it possible to love her more than I already do.”
His sister’s sentiments echoed so closely to his own that Darcy smiled bitterly. “As we are in the spirit of sharing confidences, then I must tell you of my letter to Fitzwilliam suggesting that he should return to Pemberley as soon as he can, so he might profit from Miss Bennet’s company.”
Georgiana’s expression brightened. “Do you think he will marry Elizabeth?”
Carefully, and with a great heaviness in his heart, he said, “I think if we give them enough space and time, it would be a highly likely occurrence.”
Her face still blotchy, Georgiana gazed at him curiously. “And how would you feel about their marriage?”
The true answer to this question was one that Darcy was not ready to share. “I would be delighted to see two such worthy people find lasting joy.”
Gently, he broke away from Georgiana’s embrace. “The sun is shining. Do you wish to go for a walk together?”
She shook her head. “My feet are cut to pieces from last night. I should allow them to heal.” Tentatively, she placed a hand on his arm. “Would you stay with me?”
Darcy recalled Elizabeth’s remonstrations that he should forge a closer bond with his sister and said, with affection, “I am at your disposal.”
Happiness blossomed over her features. Georgiana inclined her head towards a sideboard that had once belonged to their father. “Would you like a game of chess? Papa tried to teach me, but it has been many years since I last played.”
Darcy rose from his seat in search of their father’s favourite game. “Now that you are older, I suppose I shall have to follow the rules and not allow you to cheat.”
A spluttering giggle escaped Georgiana. “You are making your accusations rather early. One might think you are scared of losing.”
Laughing, he brought the chessboard to the table. “I have a healthy respect for your intelligence, Georgiana, and with my undefeated record at stake, I have everything to play for.” Darcy set up the pieces, pretending not to notice the look of joy on his sister’s face.