Chapter 15
‘Is everything alright, Mrs— I mean, Lorna?’
Lorna smiled at Angel. Finally, Angel had called her by her first name. Lorna lowered her mobile phone. She’d just got in from the shops with a large bag full of brochures, all in aid of the adventure she wanted to go on with her husband. Then she’d received a text from a number she didn’t recognise and was about to read it when Angel had appeared at the top of the stairs. She had obviously caught Lorna’s bemused expression.
‘Fine, thank you. I just got a text from an unknown number. No matter.’ Lorna paused. ‘Don’t suppose we can tempt you to join us for Sunday lunch? Andrew is cooking a roast dinner. It’s a bit traditional, I know.’
‘Oh, I love traditional. Mum always cooks a roast.’
‘Ah – are you off to Liverpool to see your parents today?’ Lorna had noticed the bulky rucksack she was carrying down the stairs. She’d imagined Angel would have said something if she was planning to go home for a few days, or even for one night. Obviously, Angel wasn’t her daughter, but even so, she had known her for three years and she was her daughter’s best friend. And even if she’d been a less familiar lodger, Lorna knew she would worry if Angel went out one day and didn’t tell either herself or Andrew that she was going away.
Angel stopped at the front door and took the bag off her shoulder. ‘Er, no. I’m not going anywhere. It’s just some stuff I don’t need, like old college clothes I don’t wear any more, now I’m at work and I’ve got some new outfits. My parents were due to collect me this weekend on the way back from a break away, so I’m going to give them my old clothes. I don’t know what they’ll do with them. I’m thinking my younger siblings might like a look at the stuff before it goes to a charity shop.’
‘Where are you meeting them?’
‘Oh, outside. They’re turning up in a minute.’
‘I see.’ Lorna looked at her bulging bag.
Angel followed her gaze. ‘You think I should keep hold of these clothes?’
Lorna shook her head. ‘No, not at all. I’d definitely get rid of them. It’s just reminded me that I was going to have a bit of a clear-out myself.’
In the spirit of doing some different things with her life, creating a new post-forty me, thought Lorna, she was starting small – with her wardrobe. She didn’t have the money to throw everything out and completely change her wardrobe, but she felt that it was time to move on, away from those starchy skirts and shirts she’d been wearing for what seemed like aeons – since, like Angel, she’d left university and had known it was time to ditch the teen clothes and enter the grown-up world of work.
Thinking of work, Lorna reflected on the fact that she was taking a sabbatical, although she hadn’t told her husband her plans yet. She desperately wanted to do something different to mark turning forty; to have some new experiences, go travelling with her husband. She hadn’t stopped work completely – who could, at forty, unless they won the lottery or inherited money? The job would be waiting for her after Christmas, and so would her side hustle – the music lessons.
She did enjoy the music lessons, and teaching most of the time. But with her daughter off exploring the world, standing on her own two feet, she was now free from some of her responsibilities.
She recalled standing at the school gate, a young mum in her early twenties, her child already starting school. A grandparent doing school pick-up had said to her, Just wait – the next few years will fly by. Before you know it, she’ll have left school and flown the nest. Perhaps she’ll be off to university.
Her child had not flown the nest at eighteen, but three years on, she was gone. Lorna felt it was her time now. She smiled. ‘I feel like a new me, too.’
Angel stared at her. ‘Um, okay.’
Lorna inwardly sighed. The way Angel was looking at her, she guessed what she was thinking – You’re nearly forty – isn’t it a bit late for that? Besides, Lorna knew she had a nice house and a pleasant, easy-going husband. What more could she ask for?
Lorna didn’t know. All she knew was that she felt there was something missing from her life. She always had. Perhaps it had something to do with having had the responsibility of raising a child, setting down roots – all those sorts of real, adult responsibilities – so, so young in life. She had barely been an adult herself, and hadn’t had any of the freedoms that other young people had enjoyed – to travel, explore, find themselves, put themselves first.
It was why she didn’t want her daughter to end up on the same treadmill at such a tender age. It worried her that Briony had met Freddie so young. When a lot of Briony’s friends had found their first boyfriends in high school, Briony had not, which had pleased Lorna no end. And then at freshers’ week, barely a few days into her first term at university, it had happened. She’d fallen in love.
Andrew had been over the moon when they’d met Freddie. Lorna, less so. There was nothing wrong with Freddie – not at all. She could tell he was totally smitten with Briony, and would do anything for her. But Lorna would have felt lukewarm about anybody her daughter had met, just simply because she wanted her daughter to make her own choices and live a little before she married and had a family.
Lorna smiled to herself. She had really thought that Briony would give up her adventure in the Galapagos Islands because of Freddie. Lorna could tell he didn’t want her to go – which was totally understandable. Two months was a long time to be separated from your love. But she was so proud of her daughter for standing firm and following her dreams. She couldn’t wait to hear from her, and hear all about her adventure.
She was hoping that she’d soon have an adventure to talk about herself, albeit in the planning stage. She did not want to slide into middle age with regrets over the things she could have done while she was still relatively young, like join her husband for a cruise, and then go on an adventure together. Travel. He was self-employed. It was easier for him to take time out. But a niggling thought kept popping up whenever she thought about surprising him with her plans: what if he didn’t want to do something together with her? What if she had to do it on her own? Would Andrew be like Freddie, and not want to let her go, be away from her for any length of time?
She frowned at the thought. He seemed to have no problem going off on those cruises for weeks at a time. But then again, she had no problem with him going. He earned good money. But that wasn’t the point. What sort of relationship was it when they actually enjoyed not spending time in each other’s company?
But this is what I want to change, thought Lorna. It was the point of planning an extended trip together, to rekindle their relationship, to get to know one another as husband and wife, not Mum and Dad. Their lives had revolved around Briony since almost the beginning. They’d never been together as a couple, not properly, even when Lorna was pregnant. Their relationship, their marriage, what they talked about, thought about, was and always had been Briony. What would happen when she was gone and in her own life? Would they drift apart? Had that happened already?
Lorna had put a pause on her work, on her life, to find this out. She wasn’t being selfish; she was thinking about Andrew too – about both of them. She just hoped he saw it that way. This wasn’t just about an extended holiday, an adventure; it was about working out how they saw the rest of their lives now that it was just the two of them.
Lorna heard a car pull up outside the house.
Angel said, ‘I think that will be my parents. I’ll just give them this.’ She picked up her bag.
Lorna opened the front door and saw the older couple in the car, looking up at the house. ‘Aren’t they going to come in and see where you live?’
Angel shook her head. ‘They probably want to head off on their journey back to Liverpool.’
‘They’re more than welcome to come in, Angel.’ Lorna saw Angel’s dad get out of the car and wave. He opened the front gate and walked up the path.
‘Hi, Dad. This is Lorna, my best friend’s mum, and my landlady.’
Lorna smiled at the older guy, guessing he was in his early fifties. He shook her hand enthusiastically. ‘Fantastic to meet you.’
‘Please come in and have a look around.’ Lorna opened the front door wide. ‘I’d want to see where my Briony was living if she’d moved out.’
It occurred to Lorna that this was the first time her own daughter had left home, and yet she hadn’t seen where she was living. Briony still hadn’t been in touch, and despite Lorna’s habit of dropping subtle hints whenever she saw Angel, Briony’s best friend still hadn’t mentioned whether she’d heard from her. Lorna had considered asking her directly, but she had already done so once, and Angel had concealed the fact that Briony had been in touch with Freddie.
‘Can I go and get my wife, so we can both see Angela’s room?’
‘Dad, really, you don’t have to come in. I sent you photos on WhatsApp.’
Lorna looked at Angel, wondering why she wasn’t keen on her parents seeing her little flat upstairs in the attic.
‘You’ve got a long journey ahead of you, back to Liverpool, remember?’
‘Yes, I know, sweetheart, but we’ve been looking forward to seeing you.’
Lorna looked at Angel’s dad and had an idea. She was sure Andrew wouldn’t mind. ‘You could stay for some lunch. Andrew, my husband, is cooking a roast. It’s nearly done.’
Angel’s dad was already shaking his head. ‘Oh, we couldn’t impose.’
‘Why don’t we go for a pizza – or something, before you set off on the journey home?’ suggested Angel.
Lorna frowned. ‘Pizza? You don’t have to eat elsewhere.’
‘You heard my dad – he doesn’t want to impose.’
Lorna smiled. ‘Not at all. Andrew always cooks far too much.’ She knew why that was. She hadn’t the heart to tell him that he was still cooking for three, out of habit, and that he’d always cooked far too much even when Briony was home. There were always loads of leftovers because Angel still refused to join them for meals, always coming up with some excuse or other.
Lorna understood that she had her own life, and just because she was living under their roof, she didn’t expect her to socialise with them – or, heaven forbid, be a surrogate daughter. That was not what she was there for. But it would have been lovely if she’d just sat with them over one meal. She still felt Angel was avoiding them. She guessed why – for whatever reason, Angel didn’t want to talk about Briony.
This was the perfect excuse to have dinner together. And with Angel’s parents there, if Lorna steered the conversation to Briony, perhaps Angel might divulge that she’d been in contact and what she knew about her trip.
Lorna said, ‘You must stay for Sunday lunch. I insist.’ She felt a little guilty that she had an ulterior motive, but Andrew did cook the most amazing Sunday roasts.
‘Dinner will be on the table in a sec,’ said Andrew, appearing at the kitchen door, wiping his hands on a tea towel.
Lorna smiled. Andrew’s timing was spot-on.
‘Oh, hello,’ said Andrew, spotting a stranger standing in his hallway.
‘Andrew, this is Angel’s dad. They’ve come to pick up some things of Angel’s on their way home from a holiday. I’ve invited them to say for dinner.’
Angel’s dad stepped forward. ‘I’m Trevor. Me and the wife don’t want to impose.’
‘Not at all, the more the merrier. As usual I’ve cooked far too much food.’ He looked down at his expanding waistline. ‘You’ll save me from overeating. I keep saying I need to lose weight. Not the best time of year with Christmas approaching.’
Lorna rolled her eyes. ‘Andrew, Christmas is weeks away.’
‘Yes, I know. But I do like to be prepared. You know what I’m like.’
Yes, Lorna did. She knew it was not going to go down well when he found out she’d taken a sabbatical from her job and music lessons. He wouldn’t be prepared for that. The problem was that Lorna didn’t want to wait until Andrew was ready. She wanted to do something with her life right away.
She started to wonder what the sudden desire to do something different was really all about. Was it just a desire for an extended break, or was it something else? Was she after a more permanent change?And what did that even mean? Lorna glanced at Andrew.
‘I’d better fetch the wife.’ Trevor cut across Lorna’s thoughts. He turned to the door.
‘I’ll go get her,’ said Angel, suddenly shoving past her dad.
‘Do you need help with that bag?’ offered Lorna. ‘It looks heavy.’
‘No thanks.’
‘So, Trevor, what do you do for a living?’ said Andrew, steering his guest towards the kitchen.
Lorna stood at the open doorway, watching Angel lug her heavy bag towards the car. Angel’s mum was a tall, striking woman with thick, glossy, dark hair. She was Mediterranean in appearance, with olive skin, and she was wearing the sort of gorgeous dress that Lorna would have loved to be able to carry off, but knew she didn’t have the height.
Lorna watched Angel greet her mum, throwing her arms around her. She felt a lump in her throat at the thought that she couldn’t throw her arms around Briony and give her a hug. But she did smile at the thought that the time would come when Briony arrived back from her trip and told her all about her adventure.
Perhaps she’d hear some news about Briony from Angel if she could get her talking at the dinner table. So far, Lorna had not been in touch with the company who ran the expedition. But if she didn’t hear anything soon, from Briony or Angel, Lorna had decided she would call them.
Standing at the door, watching Angel with her mum, she felt sure something was going on. She just wished she knew whether it had anything to do with Briony.
She’d been waiting by the door, expecting Angel to leave the bag in the car and return with her mum immediately. She didn’t. Lorna noticed them deep in conversation, Angel’s mum looking at her daughter, nodding, and throwing furtive glances her way.
Lorna waved. She would have loved to know what they were discussing. Perhaps she was just being paranoid, and it was nothing to do her daughter. But what if it was?
Lorna had an idea. She glanced over her shoulder and called out, ‘Trevor, do you like wine?’
His head popped around the kitchen door. ‘Oh yes.’
Lorna smiled. ‘Andrew, can you open a bottle of wine – or two?’ If Angel had confided in her mum something about Briony that she did not want to share with Lorna, then if Angel or her mum weren’t going to divulge what that was, perhaps easy-going Trevor, who clearly liked a tipple, would – assuming Angel had spoken to her mum on the phone at some point about Briony, and Trevor knew about it.
Lorna watched Angel and her mum start up the path towards her. ‘I don’t like secrets,’ Lorna muttered to herself. ‘But I’m a fine one to talk,’ she said under her breath.
‘Sorry, I didn’t catch that,’ said Angel as she approached.
Lorna smiled. ‘No matter.’ Her eyes settled on Angel’s mum. ‘Well, hello there. Welcome. I’m Briony’s mum, Lorna.’
‘I’m Martina.’
‘It’s so wonderful to meet you.’
Taking Andrew’s lead, Lorna put a friendly arm around Martina’s shoulders and steered her towards the dining room.
Angel said, ‘I was going to take Mum upstairs to show her the apartment.’
Lorna noted she looked a bit flustered. She smiled. ‘All in good time. First I’d like to get to know my new guests.’
‘But what about that text you received earlier? Don’t you want to read it?’
Is it my imagination, thought Lorna, or is Angel stalling?
Lorna wasn’t interested in reading that text from the unknown number just then. It had probably been sent to her phone by mistake anyway.
‘It was just a number I don’t recognise. I’ll deal with it later.’
She turned to Angel’s mum. ‘I bet we’ve got lots to chat about.’
Lorna glanced again at Angel, who was hovering by the stairs, looking worried. Lorna smiled at Martina. She knew one of them would be driving, but she couldn’t help herself. ‘Now, tell me, do you like wine?’