Chapter 6
The cats protested a little, but allowed their humans to get up and wash faces and hands, use the bathroom, and generally get themselves back in order for the tea.
They got coats and shoes back on and everything straight and neat, and then ruined it by having the cats drape themselves as decoration.
Nightshade once again rode Alex's shoulder, while Sage occupied his arms. Cinnamon got herself stretched up from the crook of Julian's arm to his shoulder on that same side, though once they were through the door she, too, collapsed into a noodle in his arms.
"You three will be a hit, I bet," said Alex, though he wasn't actually sure. They were technically still kittens, but they were the size of house cats, and not everyone enjoyed feline attentions.
"Be good and don't bother the ones who don't like you," said Julian, poking them each through their bond as though going boop boop boop to their little noses.
There was some yawning and huffing, but in the end they mostly seemed to agree.
Julian and Alex made their way down the front stairs to the room of doors, and then out and over to the parlour.
The furnishings had been rearranged in their absence, chairs and couches whisked away and instead five tables, each set for five people, were waiting.
There were name cards at the tables, and one of the maids led them to their places.
They were not, sadly, seated together this time.
Apparently, Chudleigh was determined to keep his reputation as a good host and force conversation on them.
Alex's table had a good mix of genders and interests, though Alex had no idea what they'd talk about and hoped not to have to figure it out.
Julian was one table over with Jacqueline Gallowglass, Johanna Applewhite, Horton Groundstone, and Dr. Geoff. It looked to be a slightly more fun group to Alex's eyes, with Gallowglass's spiffing suit and Dr. Geoff, and he tried not to be annoyed he was the one left with boring strangers.
One woman, once seated, immediately began conversation as though she knew she'd be the designated hostess in any smaller gathering. "Who's old Chuds stuck us with today, then? I'm Adelina Halliwell."
"Alex Benedict-St. Albans, and I prefer Alex, please," he said, glad for the chance to get away from being called, well, whatever terrible thing he'd be hearing from others no doubt.
"Margot Knapweed, we met earlier, Alex. I prefer Sir Margot, please." She was the darker of the pair who'd been so cheerful earlier, but something seemed to have put a bit of a bee in her bonnet.
"I'm Ronald Nonami-Finklewick, but my friends call me Wicket, and I'm sure we'll all be good friends," said Tsukiko's flirtatious husband, laying it on a bit thick. Perhaps, Alex thought, he was the bee bothering Margot.
"Sabrina Periwig," said the woman next to Wicket. "I'm here with my fiancé."
"Miss Periwig, it's good to meet you," said Halliwell. "When's the blessed occasion?"
"Summer," said Periwig with a little sigh. "We're nearly done with colours, but I've had a devil of a time finding just the right dress."
"Julian and I went with bespoke for our suits," Alex sympathised, as he'd hated every moment of wedding planning, "but I suppose with a gown it's different."
"Yes, Vincent has it easy, he just has to sign off on everything and wear a tux," said Periwig. "Is your... Julian here?"
"Yes, my husband's just there, behind you," said Alex fondly. The cats had chosen to hide under the floor-length tablecloths at first, but now one poked her head up to explore what was on the table, instead. "And this is Nightshade, one of our three magical cats."
As if on cue, Cinnamon peeked around Julian to blink at Alex, and Sage jumped from the floor up to perch on Alex's shoulder. "Aaand this is Sage," he said, recovering his balance.
"They're adorable!" squeaked Adelina, putting her hand out to let Nightshade sniff. "Magic, really?"
"Really," assured Alex. "Julian and I are Guardians of the Charmer's Way, and the cats help us with some of our duties.
" He figured that was about all he needed to say about that, really.
When Nightshade put a single paw up, Alex sent her a firm 'No,' which she chose to honour by leaving it at just the one paw.
Servants began moving around the room, bringing pots of tea to tables already stocked with cups and saucers, plates and silver, milk and sugar.
They poured for everyone at the table and took the rest away, as apparently this was too formal of an event for them to leave the pot.
The cats took that as their cue to vanish again, and Alex hoped it wasn't off to cause trouble.
Alex sighed and began to fix his tea, passing the sugar and cream onto the next person once his was perfect and stirring with old, remembered habits he'd had to revive for their teas with the Queen.
The spoon didn't touch the sides of the cup once, but with a little hum he also distributed the sugar and milk evenly through the beverage.
He took a sip and sighed, as it was a good-quality brew done to perfection by Chudleigh's excellent staff, and the perfect pick-me-up for what was likely to be a rather boring meal.
The first wave of servers retreated, but soon returned in a second wave with towers of treats to settle at each table, two per table so that there would be plenty for everyone, which Alex rather thought was his fault in some ways.
The tables without magic users would likely have a lot of leftovers, but he and Julian would put away every bite they could get and possibly ask for more.
"Now that's a generous spread!" said Wicket, chortling to himself as though he'd been terribly clever.
"Chuds never skimps on parties," said Halliwell cheerfully, reaching out to serve herself a few small items from the tray closest to her.
"Ladies first," said Alex, gesturing, and the other two women also took their choices, leaving plenty for the men.
Alex took a very full plate and reflected that it was annoying the plates were so small, as he'd have to go back several times to get even half of what he really needed. At least Alys had promised to pack them snacks.
"Everything looks delicious," said Alex, biting into a small cheese quiche.
It was perfectly good, still warm and full of excellent gruyere, but somehow it lacked the delicate balance he was used to in Alys' cooking.
He sent Julian a little burst of amused-spoiled that he trusted his husband would at least be entertained by, if not understand.
"Chudleigh's cook is a wonder," said Margot, looking happier now that she had food and tea, which Alex could understand.
That started them talking about the various food they'd had at the house parties they'd been to over the summer, which let Alex mostly sit and eat in peace, though he put in a few examples of things he'd had at Emmeline's or the Queen's, not that he name-dropped Her Majesty.
He had no interest in this group knowing he regularly met with such a personage.
Halliwell was there when conversation flagged to ask about Periwig's wedding plans more, and that discussion of colours and decorations and flowers, while boring to Alex, seemed to make not just the women but also Wicket happy enough.
Alex was just happy to be able to stuff himself while no one was paying him one whit of attention.
"So, Alex," said Margot, breaking Alex out of his reverie. He was on his fourth little plate of food and almost feeling satisfied, at least. "How are you enjoying being back amongst your peers?"
Alex shrugged as eloquently as he could. "I've never really worried about social standing when making friends," he said, hoping that was politic enough.
It made Halliwell happy for some reason, but Wicket flashed annoyance before his face smoothed into a genial smile, and Margot huffed. "You don't belong with the plebes. You were born for this!"
"And yet I gave it all up on purpose once," said Alex, "and it was the work that brought me back, not the promise of tiny cakes and awkward conversations."
"Well, it's up to the hosts to make sure conversation's not too awkward," said Halliwell cheerily. "Anyway, you outrank everyone at the party, so it's not like you need to make nice if you don't want to."
"I'm a bit terrible at it," admitted Alex, leaning to her as if telling a secret without lowering his voice at all. "Julian's been trying to train me, but we both agree I'm still a bit feral."
Halliwell laughed delightedly at that, as did Periwig, if less enthusiastically, while Wicket gave a polite chuckle and Margot looked like she'd bitten a lemon.
"Who do you normally socialise with, if not your peers?" asked Periwig curiously.
"The plebes, of course," said Alex. "My former coworkers, my former Guardians, and the like. Well, and we visit Julian's sister regularly, where I am required to use proper manners."
"I suppose station doesn't matter so much to someone who's been handed a title," said Margot, taking a sip from her mostly-empty teacup as if to shut herself up.
"It does not, and I'm not here for my title anyway, I'm here to see Chudleigh and Dr. Geoff," said Alex easily. "I helped with some of the spells on the place, so I wanted to see it all finished."
"Oh that's right!" said Halliwell excitedly, "You're the Charmer of the Charmer's Way! You actually make things?"
"I do indeed," said Alex. "Julian has a talent with plants, where mine lie with warding and creation of artefacts, for the most part. We both do potions, especially for healing or fertiliser, and Julian grows the best ingredients on the island now."
"I suppose one must do business these days," said Wicket, "whether one wishes to or not. Good on you finding something with upward mobility."
Alex decided not to grace this particular crowd with the real story of how they became Guardians, and instead asked Halliwell, "What brings you to the party?"
"Oh, Chuds knows I'm still looking for a husband, even after the Season," she said with a blushy little giggle. "Not a lot of prospects here, of course, but he likes to help me meet people who might know people, as it were."
"He's very kind, our Chudleigh," said Periwig fondly. "He'd give up the shirt on his back to help a friend."
"That he would," agreed Alex. "I met him during Julian's Courtship, and always rather liked him even back then when we were rivals."
"Chuds is easy to like," said Wicket in a false version of Chudleigh's hail-fellow-well-met tone. "Cheerful as a puppy, that one."
"He has welcomed my wife and I into society quite kindly," allowed Margot. "Not everyone approved of the baronetcy going to a pair of women."
"Sexist," said Alex, wrinkling his nose. "You aren't running the estates with your, uh. Nevermind."
That made them all laugh genuinely, as he flushed and hid his face in his own long-empty teacup. There had been a couple of rounds of refills, but not nearly enough for his caffeine-addicted nature.
"I have to admit, I have really no idea how one climbs or falls in social standing, and always assume I'm in the doghouse," said Alex, once their laughter had passed. "Ranking or not, I'm still a plebe at heart."
"A good party needs all sorts," assured Halliwell with a grin. "Talkers and lurkers and those who are willing to flout social convention, as well as the sticklers."
"I can tell you're a talker," said Alex, "but a kind one, so I can see why Chudleigh put you at my table."
"Someone had to make you talk, old boy," said Chudleigh, coming up behind him to lay a hand on the backs of two of their chairs. "Everyone doing well? Alex, you need more tea. You only need to wave and someone will refill you."
"Oh, nice," said Alex, as a servant came by to pour for not just him but the whole table. "I'm doing all right, Miss Adelina here is keeping me in line."
"I can't tell if my social standing is improving or plummeting, being seen with him," said Margot, but there was humour there now.
"Oh, don't worry. Alex will make you look like a wonderful alternative," said Chudleigh, giving Alex's shoulder a light, friendly slap.
Alex gave a wry little smirk and said, "You're not wrong. Everything going okay?"
"Fortunately someone put in very thorough wards on this place recently, so although there's a blizzard out there, nothing's getting through, not even a draft." Chudleigh looked pleased as punch at that, and wandered off before anyone could follow up with questions.
"Friends help friends stay warm in winter," said Alex, sipping his refreshed tea quite happily. Cinnamon found her way into his lap and curled up there, nudging at his free hand for petting until he cooperated for a while.
They pried the tale of how he came to ward Chudleigh's manor house out of him as he finished off every bit of food on the table, and no one even complained about it because the tale involved not just the original charms, but a passel of pippin mice, who were magical pests that got into all the normal places but left behind gemlike cursed droppings instead of the usual mouse pellets.
Fortunately, Alex got them all cleared out before anyone was fooled into getting cursed, and even put up temporary wards while he finished the charms.
Chudleigh had moved on by the end of that tale, and it was clear that tea was breaking up as people finished up and started drifting back to their partners.
Alex figured that meant he could absent himself and go find Julian, and figure out where their cats had got to in the bargain — even Cinnamon had already moved on to other mischief.