Chapter 13
Julian finished his plate first for once, leaning into Alex tiredly despite the fact that the evening had really only just begun before the incident occurred. "I don't know how you do this all the time, it's exhausting."
Alex kissed his hair between bites. "Easy, I make Lapointe and the rest do these parts. I'd be back in the parlour listening, and maybe snooping in the ballroom to see if anyone sounded like viper venom still, or finding the empty bottle if not."
"Yeah, that's fair," said Julian. He poured the last of the pot of tea into their cups, then fixed them both as they liked best while Alex polished off the last of his snack.
"I don't like that we're having me do this part, I'm not any good at it," said Alex, frowning. "Someone might get away with it because of that."
"Sirs?" said a maid, poking her head in. "I've got Miss Renee Winterson for you, if you please."
"Thank you, yes," said Julian. "Um, and can we have another pot of tea, with a cup for the lady?"
"Oh, yes, sirs," said the maid. She led Renee over to the chair across from them before bobbing a curtsey and taking the teapot to refresh.
"Miss Winterson, you were to Wicket's left, I think?" asked Julian, consulting his notes.
"Yes, on the sofa," she said. "He's a flirt, but he's ever so entertaining, I decided to let myself enjoy it. The rumours assure me he never follows through and tries anything, so it's all pretty harmless."
"That's what his wife assured us, too," said Alex. "How do you take your tea?"
"Oh, just one sugar," she said with a smile. "You know, the servants here are really good about that, remembering."
Julian made another note about that, and started a little chart of where everyone had been in the room during the murder.
"Smart," said Alex, nodding to Julian's handiwork. "I'm not always good about remembering, but I figure I can keep track for the time it takes to brew the pot."
"He's actually pretty good at it, he just pretends," said Julian in a conspiratorial tone that made her laugh. "So, when did Smithson hand you your tea?"
"Oh, um, I think I was third or so? There were six of us that wanted it, I remember thinking it was a lot, but he brought it over three at a time, and then Wicket's brandy after," she said, biting the tip of one fingernail gently.
"Miss Halliwell was first, I remember that, because it was her idea to get tea. "
"Right, and then who after her?" asked Julian.
"Oh, um, maybe Miss Periwig? I was third, and she was beside me but standing," said Winterson, brow wrinkling.
"Then he went back and brought tea for Miss Berkelshire, who was on Wicket's other side, Lady Knapweed, um, the blonde one, who was standing and looking a little bored, and Lord Herbert, who was nestled in a chair quite content to be overlooked by the ladies. "
"And then after those two trays, the drink was separate?" asked Julian kindly, urging her along in her memory.
"Yes. He did bring it on a tray, but handed it off when Wicket reached for it, and, well, you know how that went." She giggled and then looked appalled at herself. "Anyway, I don't think it was Lord Herbert, he was nowhere near us, really, he just wanted tea."
"That's fine, you don't have to worry about the whodunit, as long as it wasn't you," said Alex, and then, "You didn't, did you?"
She looked shocked, and Julian sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, he's still a little feral."
"I did not," she said primly. "I'm not that sort of girl," she added, with a touch of that humour and intelligence she'd shown earlier.
"Who is that sort of girl?" said Alex, more rhetorically this time. "I have no idea why anyone would even want to kill Wicket. He didn't sleep with any of his many flirtations, which makes him the most harmless man here, honestly."
"I know!" said Winterson. "I was so shocked that it was him."
"Alex is a bit terrible at the motive part," said Julian sympathetically, patting Alex's leg. "That's why he's usually busy with the magic bits."
"But the magic bits were obvious this time, though really I should be out there chasing down the vial or whatever was used." Alex flopped dramatically over Julian. "Whyyyyy is Lapointe not here? Stupid snow."
"Stupid snow," agreed Julian, kissing the side of his head and shoving him upright. "All right, I think we're done with you, so you can have them bring in the next one. Periwig or Halliwell, or I guess Berkelshire?"
"I'll get the maid to bring someone in," she said kindly, setting down her mostly-full cup of tea. "Perhaps you can find someone to assist you, once you've talked to everyone, if this part isn't your usual."
"Maybe," said Alex. "I'm a little afraid to ask anyone who wasn't in the room, except perhaps our wink murderer. She seems nice enough."
"She is very kind," said Winterson. "She's been encouraging me despite my abysmal Season, which produced not a single date."
"Oh, that sounds terrible," said Julian. "You seem quite lovely, though?"
Winterson chuckled rather wryly, standing and brushing out her dress. "I'm afraid I've opened my mouth and had opinions a few times too many for most of the current crop of available lords."
"Ohhhh," said Alex. "They're chicken."
She giggled. "I suppose you could say that," she said, moving to the door and speaking to the maid before going all the way out and closing it after herself.
Alex flopped again.
"They won't all be that easy," said Julian. "For all we know, she has opinions about Wicket and wanted him dead, you know."
"It's just so stupid," said Alex. "Why bother with murder? There's just no real point to it, I've seen that play out time and time again. It's not good for magic power, it's not good for solving interpersonal conflict, it's just so stupid."
"I know, darling," said Julian, kissing his nose. "But people are people, and they do stupid murders sometimes."
"Excuse me?" said the person in the doorway, one Lady Halliwell.
"Sorry, sorry," said Alex, sitting up. "I'm not great with the human parts of the investigation, I'm usually shuffled off to collect evidence."
"Of course," she said, as if that answered anything. "Is there more tea?"
The maid bustled in and nodded to Alex behind Halliwell's back.
"Yes, she'll refresh us," said Alex. "What was your name?"
"Alice, sir," she said, bobbing a curtsey.
"Well, thank you, Alice." Julian rather thought that might get confusing, except for how the training from their Alys was too ingrained by now.
"Please, have a seat," said Julian, motioning to the chair everyone had used so far.
"Thank you," she said, tone implying that at least someone here had manners and it wasn't Alex. "If you're not good at investigating, why are you doing it?"
Alex sighed. "I am very good at parts of investigating, it used to be my job, but not these parts. So, as the only person with any experience, here I am, doing the hard bits with Julian to keep me from being too feral about it."
Julian felt rather as if he might just give up on life at this point, trying to keep Alex from offending this bristly woman. "Don't mind him, he really isn't as bad as he seems," said Julian. "You take it with a bit of lemon, correct?"
"Yes, however did you know?" Halliwell said, relaxing again.
Julian could practically feel the maid's gratitude as she brought over a tray with a clean cup and a dish of lemon slices for Miss Halliwell, and a fresh pot of tea. She whisked away the old pot and Winterson's cup, and then made herself scarce as well, presumably posted up just outside.
Julian hoped she had a chair.
"Now, Miss Halliwell," said Julian, "You were standing behind the couch, to Wicket's right, correct?"
"Yes, though I wasn't really in that group of sycophants," she said distastefully. "Merely close to my dear friends, who were unfortunately taken in by his false charm."
"You weren't a fan of the deceased?" asked Alex, sitting up a little straighter and then covering it up badly by refreshing his and Julian's teacups.
Halliwell shrugged. "I'm not a fan of false charm in general," she said. "He was loyal to his wife, despite humiliating her with his flirtatious ways."
Most people would have said that like a good thing, but Julian had a feeling she disagreed. "Did you know him previously?" asked Julian. "Nearly everyone here is new to me."
"We don't move in Chudleigh's circles, really," added Alex, self-deprecating and almost charming himself, as much as he ever was with the ladies, anyway.
"I knew him from previous parties, of course," said Halliwell, though she seemed less prickly this time. "I never approved of the way he got on, is all."
"I can understand that," said Julian. "I'd be upset if I saw Alex flirting with young men like that."
"Not young women?" asked Adelina curiously.
"No, just the men for me," said Alex. "And just my Julian now. He's all I need." Alex turned and sent Julian a wave of fondness through their bond, washing away the anxiety building up between the two of them as they tried to do someone else's job, badly.
"So you got your tea first, because you were first to order," said Alex, after another sip of his own. "Did someone bump you during the incident?"
She huffed a little exasperated laugh. "Yes, yes. Miss Periwig bumped me, but I managed to keep from spilling as the bartender had been smart enough not to fill our cups to the brim."
"Smithson knows his business," said Alex with a nod. "All right, so Miss Periwig bumps you, then what."
"Then I'm busy keeping my tea from spilling, and then having some, when suddenly Wicket is flailing around and, well. You know." She looked down, appropriately sad for an acquaintance, but not broken up really, which was to be expected. "That poor man."
"Murder is such a terrible way to go," said Alex. "At least his end was quick, with the magic and all."
"Oh, that's so," she fluttered, looking distraught for the first time. "I'd prefer not to think of magic or, well. I suppose it's unavoidable, now."
"We'll be able to get the real police in here and they'll figure it out soon," said Alex soothingly.
She did not seem soothed, but she did sip tea and sigh softly. "Is there anything else?"
"Not right now," said Alex.
Julian poked him, amused that he hadn't asked this one if she did it.
Alex poked back. "If we need you again, we'll send a servant," said Alex, and she took her cup with her when she left, cradling the warm, lemony brew in her hands.
"Well," said Alex, once the door was closed again, "She's kind of an asshole, huh?"
Julian was surprised into a laugh. "Alex! People are allowed not to like the deceased."
"You're supposed to pretend, though, I remember that much," said Alex. "She seemed more likely to spit on his grave than mourn."
"Yeah, maybe. We're all off-balance now, it's not like you're singing his praises," said Julian wryly.
The door opened again to admit Miss Periwig, the maid sweeping in to get her a cup and pour for her. The sugar and milk were already out, along with Halliwell's lemon, and Periwig sat with a little twist to her mouth that Julian couldn't interpret.
"I see Miss Adelina has been in, sourpuss that she is," said Periwig. "She acts like we don't know that Wicket's flirtations are all in good fun."
"So everyone knows he's not really trying anything?" asked Alex.
"Definitely," said Periwig. "Have you seen his wife? Now, she'd murder us both if he tried it, I bet."
"Fortunately for her, she was not in the room at the time," said Alex wryly. "It would have been nearly impossible for her to have poisoned his freshly-poured drink."
"Nearly?" asked Julian.
"Oh, well, magic. But I didn't hear anything unusual, not until I started listening for the venom itself, which has very quiet, insidious melodies for all it's deadly." Alex was talking mostly to his husband at that point, though he kept one eye on Periwig's reactions.
She looked appalled at all of it, which he thought was a healthy attitude for murder.
"So, were you the first bumped?" asked Julian.
"I think he got Miss Winterson and Miss Berkelshire at the same time, honestly, and then Winterson reared back and got me, and I bumped into Halliwell, though she might also have been bumped by Winterson, as I remember she was already off-kilter and nearly lost her balance.
" Periwig was thinking, eyes up and expression pensive as she tried to remember.
"The servant was already out of reach, at least, but it was nearly a disaster. "
"It was a disaster for Wicket," said Alex, not really thinking before he spoke.
She gasped. "Well, I suppose!"
Alex sighed. "Anyway, thank you for your time. You didn't kill him, did you?"
She got even more offended looking and stood. "No, I did not, and I don't have to stay here and be insulted. Good evening!"
She stomped off, and the maid came in to ask who they wanted next.
"No one," said Alex grumpily.
"Don't mind him, Alice." said Julian. "We'd like more snacks and Miss Berkelshire, please, and a fresh pot of tea."
"Yes, sirs," she said, taking herself off to accomplish all of these things in good order.
Alex slumped against Julian again. "I want my Murielle," he whined.
"Yeah," said Julian, petting his hair. "Me, too."