Chapter 33
They brought Agent Wu a coffee and found he already had their temporary badges ready; even Alex didn't rate a permanent one these days.
They headed up to Lapointe's office with a tray and a cheerful enough disposition, though some of the latter vanished as the elevator door opened on the sounds of someone yelling in very posh tones.
"...not going to stand for this abuse of my daughter!" the man was saying, presumably Miss Halliwell's father.
"You're welcome to provide your daughter with a lawyer," an even voice was saying, "but I'm afraid she is being held on very solid evidence, and will not be released. She is also not being abused, and I resent the implication otherwise."
"A lady of her station should never spend the night in a cell!" countered the man.
As they snuck into the bullpen, they saw Lapointe's boss going head to head with the lord in question, absolutely livid looking but keeping a civil tongue in his head. "A lady of her station should never poison half a dozen people, either."
That nearly sent the lord into a fit of apoplexy, and he finally sputtered out, "Lawyer! You'll hear from my lawyer!" and stormed out, nearly upsetting the tray of coffees.
Thankfully, Alex always did a little spell on the tray so no accidents befell the elixir of life, and nothing spilled.
"Well, he's a charmer," said Julian, once the elevator door had closed on the man.
Everyone in the bullpen cracked up, and then people swarmed them for their coffees, though they saved cups for Lapointe and Thomas, who were absent from the proceedings.
"Where are your fearless leaders?" asked Julian, when one of Lapointe's favourite minions came and took the last free cup.
"In her office," said the agent. "The boss sent them into hiding from the angry nobleman."
"I'm very happy not to have had to deal with him, that's for sure," said Alex.
They made their way over to Lapointe's door and knocked, getting a surprised grin from Thomas that turned into an invitation inside. Alex handed off the coffee and they all filed in, finding Lapointe at her desk looking frazzled.
"The storm has passed," said Alex, giving Lapointe her own coffee.
"Oh, thank fuck," she said, taking a huge gulp. "That guy was above my paygrade."
"Your boss told him to get a lawyer, and he finally got the message and fucked off," said Alex.
"He definitely thought peerage should not be held in a cell, though," said Julian. "I'm surprised your boss didn't relent."
"Two high-placed nobles dead is two too many, and with three more sickened, she's lost all her privileges." Thomas sipped his own coffee with a grin. "Lord Wicket or whatever was the same rank as that tosser."
"And I outrank him," said Alex evilly. "Feel free to keep reminding him she poisoned a Viscount."
"Tosser," said Thomas affectionately.
"Always," replied Alex, saluting with his coffee and then drinking some. "All right, are we repairing to the polite interrogation room for this, or can we occupy your newly comfy couch?"
"It's not that new anymore," said Lapointe, "but I can take notes better in the other room. Everyone can fit, anyway."
Her office held six okay, but not everyone could sit.
"We don't actually have to follow them around," said James. "Although we're interested in the debrief."
"It's fine, let's go," said Julian, gesturing to the door.
They all trooped over to the interrogation room with the nice oval table that seated six, Lapointe and Thomas both bringing notepads with their coffees, and everyone arraying themselves comfortably in the identical chairs.
"All right, how do you want to do this?" asked Alex, while Julian got comfortable next to him.
"We have questions," said Thomas, flipping to a page in his notebook. "You gave us the basics, so we don't need that again."
"Again and again and again," intoned Julian, already tired of repeating the adventure in various contexts.
"So for the first murder," said Thomas, "You two were not in range of either poisoner or poisoned?"
"No, we were out of arm's reach," said Alex. "Even my arms. The furniture was arranged in a conversation group but we were on the other side of the coffee table in our own little loveseat, smaller than the settee that Wicket was sharing with the ladies."
"What's his name, Smythe-Darbyshire, was nearby, but also set apart by the arrangement enough he was never a suspect," said Julian. "He's also Baron Herbert."
"Probably not relevant," said Thomas, writing it down anyway.
"So there were six suspects because that was who was in proximity?" asked Lapointe. "People have asked why you only questioned a few of the attendees."
Alex snorted. "Half the people weren't even in the room. That's how Smithson got his pass, he was in another part of the house when Winterson was dosed."
"Honestly he wasn't much of a suspect," said Julian. "I can't explain it, but he never came off as anything but happy to be of service."
"Yeah, we were pretty fast to trust him," said Alex with a shrug. "Even though he also served our poisoned coffee, come to think of it."
"But not Camellia's drink, nor the tea for Applewhite," said Julian. "Anyway, their lawyer might try to pin it on him, but he had a good alibi."
"Did you ever figure out how she knew how to deal with the snakes?" asked Alex, peering at Thomas' notes.
Julian poked him through the bond. "We did, actually. She went to university and did a biology minor, helped out with some reptile study."
"So she may have been the only person there who could have done that part," said Alex thoughtfully. "Not that I'm investigating."
"You are a little," said Lapointe. "You did turn over all your interview notes."
"They sucked," added Thomas.
"We know," said Julian with a wry chuckle. "We're just not suited to it."
"So, for Camellia, he had the berries in his drink?" asked Thomas, moving them along, probably to get lunch to happen sooner.
"Yeah, they were pretending to be a garnish," said Alex.
"He was dead before anyone noticed, other than the murderess, so there was no hope of saving him.
Not that a snowed-in manor house is likely to have a lot of antitoxins around, anyway.
Geoff certainly doesn't keep that stuff in his first aid kit. "
"He might start now," said Lapointe. "He seemed pretty annoyed at losing two guests."
"The important one survived," said Julian, twining his fingers with Alex's. "He had a really small dose. It takes more of the belladonna to be fatal, especially at the concentration of Gallowglass's recreational supply."
"You looked that up," said Alex, pulling his hand up to kiss the back.
"Of course I did," retorted Julian. "Just like you looked up the various snakes and things. It's valuable knowledge in case I ever need a prophetic dream."
"I don't recommend the method," said Alex, "but maybe that other potion Gallowglass had would make the hangover less awful."
"Speaking of which," said Thomas, "do you know what that potion is? Gallowglass handed over the whole case, which matched a bottle we found emptied and cleaned in Halliwell's rooms."
"The potion was basically there to mitigate the side effects," said Alex, "and I think deepen the experience a little with a mild sedative as well?"
"The one I saw mentioned was a combination anti-emetic, sedative, and mild analgesic," said Julian. "No throwing up, no headache, and a deeper sleep, basically."
"We'll still have to have it evaluated, but that's a good path to look down," said Lapointe, making a note for herself.
"Okay, you've thrown me off again. Winterson! What all did you actually do to save her?" asked Thomas. "Even Geoff is a little unclear."
"Oh, yeah. Um, the baneberry." Julian thought about it a moment. "That slows and eventually stops the heart. It can be used medicinally in potions, but isn't recommended to just, you know, ingest."
"Clearly not," said Lapointe dryly.
Alex chuckled. "So basically Geoff does have some healing magic, and we pushed our power through him to keep her heart going past the peak of the poison, which is a quick-acting, quick-fading magical toxin.
Once we got her past the danger point, her heart was slow but steady enough on its own, and eventually sped up enough for her to wake. "
"So you, what, magically kept her heart beating?" said Lapointe in disbelief.
"Pretty much," said Alex. "The venom, that works very differently, nothing we could do. But the baneberry was something we could counteract since it works primarily on the one system."
"Okay, so, magical healing saved her life or something," said Thomas, "and she stayed out cold for so long because the poison was wearing off?"
"Yes, and exhaustion as well, probably. But mostly the poison filtering out of her system." Julian took another sip of his coffee and reminded himself that these people already thought he was smart and competent, and would listen when he corroborated with his husband.
Apparently, being back in high society brought back some of his old insecurities.
"That's good to know," said Lapointe. "So, Alex lived both because you intervened with your plant magic, and because the dosage was low?"
"Mostly the latter," admitted Julian. "It was mixed for recreational use, so one small sip of the laced coffee wasn't enough of the belladonna to do more than a recreational amount of poisoning."
"Technically, alcohol is also a recreational poison," Alex pointed out, when it looked like they might argue.
"Camellia died because no one knew he'd been dosed, and he didn't manage to get to any help in time.
Also the berries were crushed into his drink, so he got a nice big dose of poison with his poison. "
"Alcohol is a really good solvent for that particular poison, too," said Julian. "So basically she made him a tincture of Chinese lantern berries, which he trustingly drank."
"Like an idiot," added Alex.
Lapointe laughed, and Thomas as well, but the Guardians managed to stick to amused smiles.
"And then she dusted all the cups on the tray headed to Applewhite's room, and Geoff snagged a cup when Jessamine assured him there were extra?" said Thomas, looking at his notes again.
"Iocane pollen, yeah," said Julian. "And yes, we only caught that because of Geoff's cup and Alex's bezoar, courtesy of our Guardians."
"We felt the magic go off and ran to intercept the tray," said Alex. "Fortunately, Applewhite hadn't drunk yet, so no one had to intervene there. Iocane is also usually pretty fast and fatal, though the flowers bred for people's houses tend to be less toxic."
"So she'd have had to have drunk a fair amount?" said Lapointe.
"Yeah, but it's odourless and tasteless, so she would've just keeled over between sips if we hadn't caught it," said Alex.
"And of course there's the poison she gave herself," said Thomas. "We have a ton of evidence she self-administered, but why that one?"
"Because it's not fatal," said Alex. "The Egyptian bedroom asp was bred to guard the sleep of the pharaohs and their wives, so they would bite and incapacitate but not kill intruders. Can't question a corpse."
"A fact that I am eternally grateful for," said Lapointe. "So, between poisonings?"
They talked another hour, all told, delving into little details that they had to wrack their memories to recall.
In the end it felt like a useful interview, and it was time for lunch with anyone who would want to troop downstairs.
Geoff texted an excited yes, and Smedley a more sedate one, so they met up by the elevators as the easiest way to avoid Lapointe's boss.
Alex wasn't planning to bill for this disaster, but he didn't want to have to be told not to, either.
"So, what's your afternoon?" asked Lapointe.
"Saveur," said Alex smugly. "And possibly being dragged along on some errands, I'm not sure Jones will have finished up by the time we're done."
"Alys had a lot for him to pick up," said Julian with a chuckle. "No one likes to deliver out to us, so he does us favours."
"Victor pays for it," said Alex with a shrug. "I assume he makes sure whoever needs to know that he's taking care of us finds out."
Julian poked him through the bond.
"What? He's never taken much interest in me before you, and now our Guardianship thing," said Alex with a shrug.
"It could be familial feeling," said Julian, but even he knew he sounded dubious.
"Familial or not," said Geoff as the elevator doors finally opened, "I just want to get fed."