Chapter Twenty-Five
I inhaled, anger turning into frustration, into something I couldn’t identify, or maybe just didn’t want to. Char’s warm brown eyes didn’t waver. I took in her sheer beauty, the warmth that she radiated. She was fighting for me when I wasn’t worth fighting for. A wet trail soaked into my beard, and I swatted the fucking tear away. What was this? I didn’t cry. With everything I’d been through in my life, I prided myself on holding my shit together. On being an iron shield against emotion, but I guess there were only so many hits a shield could take before it cracked.
Her hand wrapped around mine, tugging it away from my face. “Let them fall.”
The air was cool, but her hand was freezing. I rubbed her arm, goosebumps appearing across her chest. “You’re cold.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Come on.” I took her hand, guiding her away from the house and to my detached garage. Ron would be fine in the house alone for a little while. He wasn’t a fucking toddler. He still had some sense left in that muddled brain of his, and since he started taking his pills again, he’d been better.
Once inside, I hit the light and the electric heater. I grabbed a down coat I kept in here and wrapped it around Chardonnay’s shoulders. I bent, lining up the zipper and pulling it snug against her chin.
“I’m not used to you putting clothes on me.”
“You were cold.”
Her eyes locked on mine, so familiar. They once used to ignite a heated rage inside me, but now it was just a comforting warmth.
“You’ve always looked out for me.”
Even when I hated her, I did. “You never needed me to, though. You’ve always been able to hold your own.”
She straightened, confidence surrounding her like an impenetrable dome. “Exactly, but if you think I can’t handle your dad, then you don’t know me at all.”
I rested my forehead against hers. “I know you can.” She was more than capable. Hell, she’d probably put the old man in his place over and over again, but it had nothing to do with her. “I just don’t want you to.”
“Why?” she demanded, voice strong with no waver.
I stepped away from her, the frustration from this week consuming me, spreading like a disease that had no cure. “Because that man doesn’t deserve grace from you. He was a bastard when I was younger, said horrible things about you. The day I cut ties with him...” Anger rose inside of me, trying to overtake the frustration. Trying to turn me into the man I spent my life swearing I would never be. But I wasn’t him. No matter how angry I got. No matter how impossible life felt. I wasn’t him, and I never would be. But the frustration, the anger, the shame, and all those emotions that had been bottled up for so long, I didn’t want to keep it inside me. It was poison, and I needed to release it. It all stemmed from that day in high school. I inhaled, my chest heaving with the weight of it.
Chardonnay waited patiently, her warm eyes searching my face. She wanted me to let her in, and I wanted to let her in. I did, but that door had been locked for what felt like an eternity.
“Tell me,” she said, no plead, no demand, just a statement.
“He made a comment about you spreading your legs for me. I snapped. I never fought back before, but the way he spoke about you. It crossed a line.”
Realization dawned in her eyes, widening them. Her pretty lips parted. “I’m the reason——”
“ No .” I stopped her before she could blame herself. She wasn’t the reason for any of it. “You were my saving grace that day.”
“But that was the day you heard me…”
A smile cracked my lips. “It was a shitty day.”
“My God. I am so sorry.” She took my face in her hands. Tears welled in her dark brown eyes, and I hated to see it. Chardonnay was too strong to cry for me. I wanted to wipe them away, along with any pain I caused her. “You needed me that day, and instead, you lost me.”
Maybe I was too weak to keep fighting, to continue keeping people at arms length, or maybe Chardonnay kicked down my walls, and I didn’t want her to leave. I turned my head, kissing her palm, unable to resist the urge.
“I found you now, and that’s all that fucking matters.”
Her thumb rubbed softly against my face. A stark contrast to the rough stubble along my jaw. I closed my eyes, relishing in the warmth her touch brought, the comfort, the feeling that no matter how bad shit got, it would be okay.
“Then why are you pushing me away?”
Her question was like a jolt of reality. “My life is about to get much more complicated. I can’t ask you to jump into this with me. I have no idea what’s going to happen to Ron, and if I’ll be able to get a nurse who can actually handle him, or if I’m going to have to move him into my place.”
She shook her head, a faint laugh escaping her lips. “I don’t need you to ask me. I’m offering. Whatever it is, I’ll be at your side and not because I feel obligated, but because I spent years with you just out of reach, and I don’t want to live like that any longer. Don’t make me.”
“But everything with Gold Crest. You have so much on your plate already, I don’t want to add to it.”
She laced her fingers through mine. “Together, remember?”
I’d been doing things on my own for so long, the concept felt so foreign and strange. But her fingers linked through mine, and I already felt stronger. Felt like whatever the universe wanted to throw at me next, I could handle it, because I had Char at my side. I tilted her chin with my other hand, refusing to unlink her hold. She blinked up at me, those dark brown eyes full of resilience, patience and quiet strength. She didn’t push or demand; she just waited as if she had all the damn time in the world. Like she knew she was right and was just waiting for me to figure it out.
I wanted to, but I had no idea where to start, but there was one thing I knew without a doubt. “I’ve always loved you, Char. Even when I hated you, I loved you.”
Her mouth parted, a shaky breath escaping. I closed the space between us, resting my forehead on hers, letting her feel the truth in my words and my touch.
“And now?” she whispered.
“I still love you, but now I like you, too.”
A laugh burst from her too kissable lips. “That might be the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Even better than those vampire books?”
She tilted her head, brushing her nose against mine. “You’re real and not going to bite me.”
“I can.” I nuzzled into her neck, grazing my teeth along her sensitive skin. It had been three days since I touched her last, and I never wanted to go that long again.
She grabbed my face, pulling me to her lips, but before I could get there, she stopped me. “I love you, too.”
My heart stuttered in my chest. It felt as if I’d waited my whole life to hear those words from her mouth, and now that they were out, I wanted to commit them to memory until they were as much a part of me as the oxygen in my blood and the beat of my own heart.
“Don’t push me away,” she said, and I answered by capturing her lips in one fell swoop, pouring every ounce of my soul into it. She moaned, pressing into me, and tightening her arms around my neck.
“I love you so fucking much,” I said, as I unzipped the coat and fumbled with the buttons on her shirt. Her hands joined me, fast and furious, as we ripped the material from her body.
Her cold fingers touched the expanse of skin above my waistband and a chill ran through me, but it was nothing compared to the inferno raging inside me. We were a tangle of hands, teeth, and lips as we rid ourselves of our pants. My cock hardened to a level of discomfort when I looked down at the pale pink lace. I hauled her up against me, her heated skin searing into mine, her hands sinking into my hair and pulling me closer. I placed her on my workbench, her legs immediately wrapping around my torso, her heel pushing into my ass.
“I’ve missed you,” I admitted. “So damn much.”
“Show me,” she said, biting my lip and causing an explosion of pleasure to slam into me. “I need you. Want you, desperately.”
She needed me. It was so stupid, such an insignificant word, but it felt so much bigger. I’d run from the statement before. Needing someone gave them power over me. It gave them the power to hurt me.
Normally, my chest would tighten; the unmistakable desire to create distance would overtake me.
This time, I wasn’t running.
Instead, I let the words sink in and settle deep inside me.
Because the truth was, I needed her too.
I ripped the lace panties aside and swiped my finger through her folds. Moisture coated my finger. She was wet for me because she needed me. I positioned my cock at her entrance, swiping the head through the slickness.
“Now,” she pleaded, fingers digging into my shoulder blades.
I thrust into her, and the two of us sighed as if we were filled with relief for finally joining together. She rocked into me, a quiet plea for me to move. I cupped her cheeks, bringing her lips to mine, kissing her with everything that I had before going slow and savoring her. I pumped into her just as slowly, dragging out each thrust with loving strokes.
Our foreheads rested against each other, our ragged breaths mixing and becoming one. The weight of the week washed away, and all that mattered was Chardonnay. I closed my eyes, letting the sensations flood through my body, focusing on the way her fingers dug into my hair, holding me closer still.
Her muscles tightened, a tiny inhale of bliss echoing in the cramped space. My thumb found her clit, rubbing circles as I pumped into her.
“Let go,” I said.
“You first.”
I moved my hand to her hip. “That’s not how this works.”
She smirked, tilting her chin to look into my eyes, a challenge arising in the dark brown depths. “Guess we’re at a standstill.”
I slammed into her heat. She cried out, body flinging back, beautiful tits thrusting at me. I dipped my head, dragging my togue along the pale pink lace before placing a kiss on the swell and pulling back.
“Together?” I asked, her head lulling forward, desire-hooded eyes locking on me.
“Together.”
Our mouths came together as one, our movements mimicking each other as I pumped into her. Resting my forehead on hers, I caressed her cheek, and her hand slammed into mine, holding it there, her eyes slipping shut, mouth parting.
Pressure built in my cock, pulling up from my balls as her face contorted with the flood of pleasure. I held on to every last shred of willpower I had, refusing to fall over the edge without her.
Her muscles tightened around my cock, her slick walls surrounding me in glorious heat. Her fingers dug into my shoulder. My jaw clenched as the sensations rocked my body with unrelenting force.
A moan slipped from her lips, and I crashed mine to hers, swallowing the tiny noise. Her fingers flexed, body shook, and I slammed into her one last time. Our bodies shuddered at our releases. My legs weakened, and I collapsed against a vibrating Chardonnay.
“Holy shit,” she mumbled as she gathered me into her arms, kissing my cheeks and my nose while I tried to stay upright. I heard Jack scratching at the door. God only knows how long he’d been there, but he could easily go into the house. After a minute, he retreated, and the feeling returned to my legs. I straightened, tilting her chin to me.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, even when you’re an ogre who fucks me in a garage.”
A laugh burst from me, shining a light into the dark crevices of my mind. “I could have thrown you over my shoulder.”
She shrugged. “There’s always next time.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“More like a request.”
I didn’t have time to be shocked as she scooted off the workbench, landed on the ground, and despite still being in her heels, lifted on her toes to place a chaste kiss on my chin. “Get dressed. It’s time I met your father.”
I waited for the fear to overtake me, for the need to revolt against her request and tell her to get the hell out of here.
It never came.