Chapter 13
Lily had planned events in The Palms for clients who had flown in from as far afield as Germany and Australia, and millionaires who paid top dollar for the ultimate luxury experience with hundreds of people in attendance.
Most had money and connections enough to completely ruin the resort’s reputation if she made a mere misstep, but even under those circumstances, she’d felt more relaxed than she was right at that moment.
She and recently abandoned groom-to-be Shay Brady were walking along the boardwalk that ran along the nature preserve from the hotel to the closest public beach.
Islanders and tourists alike flocked to this part of the cove to soak up the sun and enjoy the clean, gentle waters – making it a perfect shallow swimming area for families with small children, and a low outcropping of rocks sheltered the area from waves.
A natural mini bay formed near the Tiki Bar, a small locally run eatery that marked the end of the shore, and now Lily’s stomach rumbled and her mouth watered as aromas from the nearby hotspot wafted across the street and filled her senses.
Following yesterday’s meeting with Erin and subsequent agreement with the caterer, she’d left a message at reception to deliver the good news to Shay about recovering some of his money, but he’d insisted on coming down to thank her in person.
And taken with Dee’s warning not to allow herself to be taken in by another lost soul, she wasn’t sure how to feel.
‘You know, I still can’t believe it’s happened.’
Since they’d started their stroll from the hotel, he hadn’t said much. Neither had she. It was hard to find the right words for comfort. She could only imagine how devastated he must be still.
‘It’s so … surreal,’ he continued as he turned to her. Their gazes met and the only word Lily could find to describe his expression was … lost. He was a man whose footing had been toppled when the rug had been so abruptly yanked from beneath his feet.
Now he didn’t know up from down. She could appreciate that feeling. It was one she and her mother understood all too well.
And perhaps also why she was so keen to help with the fallout any way she could.
‘No one would expect you to,’ she comforted. ‘It was a shock.’
‘I don’t know if it was though,’ he mumbled, and her brow furrowed in confusion.
‘I don’t understand.’
Shaking his head, Shay turned his gaze away and focused on the ocean. It was a cloudless evening and the water was a brilliant aquamarine that deepened to cobalt near the horizon.
‘What’s there to understand? I’m a fool. I’ve been a fool for a long time. I should have known this would happen, but I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want to believe it.’
The expression on his face when his gaze met hers was a mask, but Lily could see his true feelings seeping out from the cracks. He was trying to be impassive, but his anger was evident and it wasn’t even directed at what his fiancée had done, more at himself.
‘Do you know what my family said when I told them she’d broken things off?
And that they didn’t need to travel after all?
’ She didn’t respond but instead allowed him to offload.
‘They said they weren’t surprised.’ He laughed scornfully.
‘Can you believe that? They never really thought Sarah and me were that good a fit. But they waited until she’d made a fool of me, stomped on my heart and tossed it aside to tell me that. ’
Lily had to admit that she too had an inkling of something off kilter throughout their correspondence leading up to the wedding, but she truly hadn’t thought much of it at the time.
‘They’re your family. I’m sure deep down they wanted to believe they were wrong, and that things would work out for you both.
And I’d imagine they had your best interests at heart and didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news either,’ she offered in excuse, more for herself than his family in Ireland.
‘Sometimes people honestly don’t know the right thing to say.
Or more to the point, if they’re right to say it. ’
Shay stared at her in silence for some time before a deep breath leaked out. ‘I know. I’m not angry at them. Not really,’ he admitted with a sigh. ‘I’m angry at myself.’
‘Why though?’ Lily countered. ‘Sarah left. You’re here. And why should you feel bad for loving her?’
He remained silent, though his dark-brown eyes seemed to be raptly studying her as if searching for answers she couldn’t give.
‘Hey, I don’t really know Sarah,’ Lily added then.
‘In person, I mean. I did however get to know you during the six months we’ve been planning, and I can honestly say I have never encountered a guy who cared so much about what his bride wanted.
The level of detail and the attention you paid to even the smallest thing she’d ever said she wanted …
’ she sighed a little, as the words came out in a rush.
‘It was kind of enviable actually. I’ve been doing this stuff for a long time and take my word for it, Shay, you didn’t do anything wrong. ’
‘Yeah, I did. I planned for something I knew in my heart wasn’t meant to be. I lied to myself that I was enough for a woman like Sarah. That what I wanted, she did too. I pretended that I wasn’t seeing what I was or noticing the signs.’
‘Hey, we’re all guilty of being blind sometimes. It doesn’t mean—’
‘No. It’s more than that. She never had any input into the wedding really, did she?
I told myself and you that it was because she has a demanding job.
’ He scoffed. ‘I have three sisters, Lily; there’s no way one of them was getting married and not hovering over every detail.
When my oldest sister married a couple of years ago, I thought she was going to lose her mind with the way she pondered over every little wedding-related decision.
Whereas Sarah didn’t even want to pick out her own bouquet.
I mean, really, what kind of gobshite doesn’t realise that your bride-to-be isn’t exactly enthused about being married to you if she can’t even be bothered to pick out her own flowers?
’ His voice rose steadily with each passing word.
Lily knew to tread carefully. His emotions were still so raw, and as much as she wanted to assure him that he was probably right, she knew from experience that sometimes it took a while for the person to see that for themselves. He had to go through the process of healing, and anger was part of it.
Even if she believed it was misplaced.
‘You knew it too, didn’t you?’ Shay stated then and she didn’t know how to answer, though her lack of response was reply enough.
‘Of course you did,’ he continued in a tone so low that his words seemed to loom over them.
‘You said yourself, you’ve been doing this for a long time.
You would have to know. Recognise the signs. Why didn’t you say anything?’
Lily couldn’t look at him. ‘Because it wasn’t any of my business.
And to be completely honest, I wanted to be wrong,’ she confessed, finding her voice finally.
She took a deep breath and continued. ‘Look, you’re a really nice guy.
And I don’t say that to make you feel better, I say that because I believe it.
I like to think that I got to know you somewhat during the build-up to all this, and the person I was working with deserved his dream.
He deserved the happy ending he wanted. I couldn’t possibly be the one to tell you that something felt … off.’
Shay’s jaw flinched slightly, but she continued.
‘I wanted to be wrong, that maybe I was underestimating Sarah, that she really was too busy and stressed. And I don’t know why I’m saying this now, because it is against everything I should do as a professional, but like I said, I feel that you’ve become a friend, so I can’t lie to you either. ’
Silence closed in around them, and instead of providing a shoulder to cry on, now Lily was afraid she may have made things worse.
Worried he now thought her a grasping opportunist who had taken advantage of him for her own gains, when she could have spared him all the hassle, embarrassment, and indeed expense by telling him the truth.
‘I didn’t think you were, or at least I hope you weren’t that kind of person,’ Shay stated, breaking the silence.
‘And I didn’t mean to make you feel bad either.
Not going to lie; I considered that you may have suspected and simply didn’t bother to tell me.
I knew you weren’t the type to be purely concerned with taking my money, and figured that becoming a friend was just something you did to get to know your clients better.
I had pretty much convinced myself of it the other night too.
I was certain I wouldn’t see you for dust again once I told you the wedding was off.
’ He chuckled bitterly for a moment, and then he stopped.
‘And now when I hear that you’ve been working so hard to salvage something out of the wreckage, I can’t tell you how grateful I am. ’
She shrugged. ‘It’s like what I said, I suppose … I also consider you a friend of sorts and would love to be – have been – a guest at your wedding. And …’ Lily continued in the vein of honesty, ‘ … since I’m the only person you know on the island, I’m going to do everything I can to help you out.’
Shay exhaled deeply. ‘Thank you. I still don’t even know why I bothered to come, to be honest. My family insisted that since I’d already spent the money on the trip, I may as well come here anyway and take some time out, lick my wounds and what-have-you.
Not to mention that it was the perfect excuse for me to get out of Dodge for a bit.
I wasn’t ready to face everyone back home.
I didn’t want the questions and people coming up to tell me how sorry they were.
This isn’t a funeral. So I guess I came mostly because I didn’t want to deal with the fallout.
With Sarah, especially.’ He sighed and stuck his hands in his pockets.
‘But being here hasn’t made it any easier either.
I’ve been sitting in that room and thinking about it.
Picking apart the past five years of my life to find out what I could have done better.
What did I miss? I lied to myself about a lot and I still don’t have the answers I want.
But the strangest thing of all, the thing I don’t understand the most, is how I feel now. ’
‘It’s only natural to feel upset—’
‘I’m not, though.’
Lily’s confounded response flew from her mouth. ‘You’re not?’
‘At least not in the way I think I should be.’ Shay’s expression hovered somewhere between pained and perplexed. She couldn’t decipher it.
‘I’m hurt and angry, of course, but I’m also a bit numb, I suppose?
It’s almost as if somewhere inside, I knew something like this would happen.
’ He looked down at her with a forlorn expression.
‘It’s almost as if I was prepared for it, maybe even a little relieved?
I don’t understand it, and that’s driving me crazy more than anything. ’
‘Don’t try to understand it then,’ Lily offered, though she was struggling to understand it herself. ‘You can’t dictate how you’re supposed to feel, and maybe right now isn’t the best time to try to dissect your feelings either.’
‘What am I supposed to do though?’ he asked, the question almost a plea. ‘In two days’ time, I was supposed to be married and on honeymoon. It’s hard to escape from that.’
‘What I’d suggest first and foremost is that you try your best to take your mind off it. I know it seems almost impossible but focusing on what should have been won’t change it either.’
‘How do I do that?’
Lily smiled and waved an arm toward the beach and surroundings.
‘Look where you are – one of the most beautiful places on earth! You can always face reality when you go back home, but for the moment you’re in paradise.
Tell you what, I’ll help show you around the island if you like, and you should definitely come along to The Palms sunset party next week, the one that got us out of the catering bill?
’ she reminded him. ‘It’s an island tradition. ’
She couldn’t be certain but thought she saw his eyes light up at the idea and was pleased.
‘You’re sure? I wouldn’t want to take up any more of your time when you’ve got such a lot on. Or get in the way either.’
‘Honestly, it’s not a problem,’ Lily said, warming to her theme.
‘I’m off the hook for this really annoying wedding that was coming up, so I’ve got some unexpected time on my hands,’ she joked, and this time Shay cracked a smile.
‘Hey, you could always help us out with some of the preparations too, an extra pair of hands never goes astray.’ She chuckled, pleased afresh with her brainwave to distract him from his heartbreak.
‘Truly, stay for the sunset party. It’s one of The Palms’ biggest events of the year, and always a night to remember. ’