Chapter 30 Beck
BECK
Four Months Later
I’ve never spent Christmas with this many people.
The only memory I have that comes close is the one after I was adopted and parents invited everyone they knew to the house to celebrate.
Since they were older, and all their friends were too, it was a subdued celebration and for most of it I was the only child in attendance.
Eventually someone showed up with their grandchildren in tow, and I finally had someone to show my toys to that wanted to play with them as well.
After that year, holidays would be just the three of us.
We’d take vacations or have dinner at home.
The menu was always the same. The conversation never changed.
There were never any new faces or laughter filled rooms or family flying in from out of town to spend multiple nights under your roof and constantly gathered in your kitchen.
When we bought this house, Selene and Cal fell in love with the kitchen first. I fell in love with the look in their eyes as they daydreamed about the exact moment I’m witnessing right now.
Mama J at the stove, supervising Rae as she seasons the largest pot of greens I’ve ever seen in my life.
Al at the island carving the turkey him, Cal and Hunter insisted on using the smoker to cook even though it’s as cold as fuck outside.
Cal woke me up in the middle of the night, trying to talk me into trekking through the snow with him so he could turn the temperature down.
I flipped him the bird and threw an arm over Selene while she laughed at our exchange.
She laughs so much these days.
On phone calls with her mom or FaceTime chats with her sisters and their kids.
During visits with Isis and Imani who come over on the weekends whenever Joanna isn’t in a mood.
In the middle of the night when it’s not nightmares that have woken us but desire.
When Monique pops up randomly with a bottle of wine and enough food for all of us and we sit on the couch and watch the Hallmark movies we all got addicted to when we were hiding out in Bethesda.
Life is…good. It’s warm, it’s safe. It’s happy and filled with acceptance I thought would be a lot harder to come by.
After Selene walked out of the lion’s den relatively unscathed, we decided not to leave another second of our lives to chance.
We bought this big, beautiful house in the Great Falls area and sat among boxes in the living room, holding hands while we took turns calling the people we loved most to reveal the truth of us.
Hunter and Rae were the least surprised, and Riley was just excited about having a new aunt.
Erin asked why I didn’t just tell her about Selene when I broke the news about me and Cal, and Mama J and Al said they didn’t know a thing about a dynamic like ours but didn’t care so long as we were good to each other.
At the time, I thought life was as good as it could get, but I was wrong. Because it’s only gotten better. Every day it gets better, and today is no different.
A pair of arms wrap around my waist from behind, and I smile, leaning into Cal’s embrace without a second’s hesitation. “Where have you been?”
He kisses my cheek and then my lips when I turn around to face him. “Watching carolers on the front porch with Erin and Selene.”
“People still carol?”
“Apparently.”
“Sounded like that group should have stayed home,” Monique quips from her spot on the couch in the living room.
She’s watching Riley play the video game Isis and Imani designed.
It’s still in the early stages with rough graphics and a few glitches once you get past the fourth level, but it has so much potential.
“They were just kids, Mo,” Selene says, running a loving hand over the head of each child on the couch when she passes by.
“Kids who should have stayed home,” Erin jokes, high-fiving Monique.
Selene shakes her head at them, an indulgent smile on her lips as she heads down the hall that leads to her office.
There’s nothing wrong with it. The smile, that is.
It’s bright and genuine, a true display of amusement and joy.
But there’s something underneath it. Something that makes the curve of her lips shake.
Something that makes her legs move just a little bit faster when she gets close to the office, like she’s impatient to get to the privacy of the room.
Something that calls to Cal and to me and sends us down the hall after her.
When we enter the office, she’s sitting on the edge of her desk, twirling the bracelet I gave her for Christmas around on her wrist while the diamond of one of the earrings Cal got her catches stray rays of light from the projector mounted on the wall behind her.
We move to her side, bracketing her body with ours and casting large shadows that make it hard to see the schematics she’s studying.
“You’ve been over this a million times, gorgeous.”
She presses a button on the remote in her hand, and the projector clicks and shifts, displaying the same photo as before but this time zoomed in, focusing on an altitude limiter. “I just need to be sure I understand how it all works.”
“But you won’t step foot on the plane, pet. Everything will be done remotely.”
The muscles in her face twitch restlessly, and she doesn’t look at us.
Cal and I exchange a look, knowing her brain won’t allow her let this go.
Not until she’s studied the cabin pressurization system several more times.
It’s become something of a habit for her, going over the schematics of Gambit’s plane, talking herself through the sabotage of this specific system.
I know that when the time comes everything will go smoothly, but I also understand the anxiety driving her at the moment.
She left Gambit’s home under the pretense of joining his little killer’s club, promising to repay him for sparing her life by spending what’s left of it waiting for a phone call from him that will result in her being asked to do something she won’t.
The stress of that promise, of that lie, has weighed on us since she made it, and now we all hear it.
The ticking of the clock counting down to the day we can finally, truly, be free.
We just have to hope time runs out before the phone rings.
When Selene’s anxious mind is satisfied, she shuts off the projector, plunging us into semi-darkness.
“It’s going to work, right?” She whispers the words, rambling on before either of us can say anything.
“Not just the plane, but the rest of it. All of it. It’ll work, right? It has to because otherwise….”
My mind fills in the blank.
Otherwise, we put our lives and the lives of everyone in our home at risk.
Otherwise, there’s no justice for AJ.
Otherwise, they win.
And we can’t let them win.
I find her hand in the dark, pulling it up to my mouth and laying a kiss in the center of her palm. “It will work.”