Chapter 29
Cressida went into the kitchen as Doctor Millwood looked over Etta. As she paced back and forth, she eyed the pans sitting empty on the counter. She let out a sigh and put the pans away, her shoulders slumping, exhaustion seeping into her bones.
Her head spun as she gripped the edge of the counter and looked out the window. The stars were still dancing in the sky. She felt like she could barely breathe.
Who had she allowed into her life?
Who had she been falling in love with?
The pain in her chest felt like it was going to rip her in half. She turned around, closing her eyes, the edge of the counter digging into her hip.
She sank down to the floor, her back against the cupboards.
“Dear,” a soft voice said, footsteps whispering across the floors as Mrs. Agatha appeared in front of her. “It’s going to be all right.”
“You didn’t have to come all the way over here,” Cressida said, her voice choked as Mrs. Agatha sat down beside her. “We’re going to be just fine.”
“Etta is going to be just fine, but you look like you’re going to fall to pieces and need someone here to hold you while you have a good cry.” Mrs. Agatha opened her arms.
And just like Cressida used to do when she was a child, she threw herself into Mrs. Agatha’s arms and let it all out. She sobbed with her face buried against Mrs. Agatha’s shoulder.
“We’re going to get through this.” Mrs. Agatha’s hand drifted up and down her back. “You’re going to get through this.”
Cressida pulled back, wiping the tears from her eyes, drying the tracks that stained her cheeks.
“It’s not just Etta. I…I thought I was falling in love with Ronan, and then it seemed like everything he said to me might have been some form of a lie.”
“What if most of what he told you was the truth, and all the other voices in your head aren’t quite telling you the truth?
” Mrs. Agatha stayed beside her on the floor.
“I’m not going to pretend to know what happened here, or why several men were walking with the sheriff when I arrived, but if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that you can’t always trust your mind. What is your heart telling you?”
“That I don’t know anything.” Cressida laughed and pulled her knees to her chest.
It was impossible to hold herself entirely together, but she was going to try. She was going to hold herself as tight as possible, and she was going to hope that this night would come to an end sooner rather than later.
“I felt that way when I met my husband, too. Nothing about us made sense on paper. We were entirely different people who had come from two entirely different walks of life. In the eyes of most, there was no reason why we should’ve been courting, let alone getting married.”
“You were that different?”
“We were, and my husband was a rough man. Quiet. Kept to himself a lot when we were younger. There were things about his life that were hard to stomach when he told me about them.”
“How do you move past that?”
“I decided to see him for the man he was at that point, rather than the man he had been in the past.”
Mrs. Agatha smiled, looping her arm around Cressida and pulling her back to her side. “You know as well as I do that people are not the sum of only their mistakes. That sum includes the good things, too. Those gentle moments and happy flashes, even if they’ve had a hard life until that point.”
“You think I should give Ronan a chance to fix this, then?” Cressida nestled deeper into her side, feeling a bit like a child in need of holding.
She supposed that every now and then, people needed to be held, no matter how old they were. They needed to know there was someone there who was going to support them.
“I don’t pretend to know what happened, but if you have any doubt in your mind about the things other people have said about Ronan, then I think you owe it to yourself to give him a chance.”
Cressida turned that over. “I’ll have to think about it. There’s so much else I have to deal with right now, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to add one more thing to that.”
“You take the time you need.” Mrs. Agatha rubbed up and down her arm, giving it a light squeeze.
“How did you know to come out here?” Cressida asked, taking a deep breath and trying to blow out all the tension flowing through her body.
“I was at the festival and heard about Etta fainting. I thought you were going to need some support, so I came out here as fast as I could.”
Cressida leaned her head on Mrs. Agatha’s shoulder. “I don’t know how I would get through any of this without you.”
“Well, the good news is that you don’t have to do it on your own.”
Doctor Millwood appeared in the doorway, looking down at them with understanding in his eyes. “Cressida, would you mind having a word with us? Etta is requesting you.”
Cressida’s heart was on the verge of shattering as she nodded and pushed to her feet, pulling herself together the best she could.
Etta needed her to be strong now. No matter what news came, she would be there for her.
Doctor Millwood led the way back into the sitting room, and Cressida was surprised to see Tobin still there, holding Etta’s hand, a determined look on his face as if he was going to weather whatever news came, too.
Cressida gave him a small smile before sitting down in the chair and looking up at the doctor.
Etta let out a wavering breath, her eyes glistening with tears that looked like they were on the verge of falling. “What’s happening to me? How bad is it?”
“You’re healing quite well,” Doctor Millwood said, a slow smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, his fine wrinkles growing a little deeper.
“Your leg may never fully recover since you sustained most of the injuries from the accident there, but thankfully, there shouldn’t be much else that bothers you. ”
A thin line appeared between Etta’s brows. “How is that possible? I was trampled by a horse.”
“Thankfully, that trampling wasn’t as bad as it could have been.
” Doctor Millwood glanced at Cressida before turning his attention back to Etta.
“When you were brought to my office, there were broken bones, and they were complicated to set, as you know, but the man who brought you in had gotten between you and the horse quickly.”
“He did?” Etta squeezed her eyes shut, frowning. “I keep trying to remember that night, and I’m having a couple of flashes of memories here and there, but a lot of it evades me.”
“He did. He was sporting more than a few bruises himself.” Doctor Millwood picked up his bag. “I don’t know who he was, but he stayed outside my office until he was sure that you were going to live. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man look more haunted.”
Etta bit her lip, nodding. “Thank you. And thank you for coming out to see me tonight.”
Cressida’s throat was dry, her tongue darting out to wet her lips slightly. “So that’s it then? There’s really not going to be any lasting damage done from this fainting spell?”
“Etta is healthier than she’s been in a long time,” Doctor Millwood said.
Tobin rose. “Let me walk you to the door. I need to go out and get the animals settled for the night anyway.”
Mrs. Agatha appeared in the hallway. “I’m going to head home to get some sleep, but I’ll be back here in the morning to help with some of the chores.”
“Thank you.” Cressida gave her a smile before getting up and going to sit with Etta.
The door closed behind everyone, plunging the house into silence. Cressida sat beside Etta, not knowing what to say or do. This was good news, but in the wake of everything that had happened, it was a little bittersweet.
Etta let out a breath. “Do you mind if I take a moment to process before we talk about everything that happened tonight?”
Cressida stood and dropped a kiss to the top of her head. “You take all the time you need. I think I’m going to put on a pot of coffee.”
“Make it a big pot. I don’t think anyone is going to be able to sleep tonight.”
With a wobbly laugh, Cressida nodded and went into the kitchen, her hands shaking as she finally had a moment to process all that had happened that night.
For a moment, all she could do was stand in the kitchen as the coffee brewed.
Then came the bark.
Cressida laughed and ran to the back door, opening it and smiling when Diver came dashing in with his doggy smile, a string with a piece of paper tied around his neck.
She took the piece of paper and unrolled it, setting the string to the side.
Diver found me on the way to town with the sheriff.
Please talk to me. I want to tell you the truth. I’m sorry that you had to find out parts of my life from Ambrose, but I promise that everything he told you is not the entire truth.
I understand if you don’t wish to speak to me, and I won’t hold that against you.
—Ronan
Tobin stepped inside, a strange look in his eyes when he glanced at the paper. “What’s that?”
“Ronan sent a note.” Cressida cleared her throat, trying to get rid of the lump lodged there.
“I got something from him, too,” Tobin said, pulling out the watch and setting it on the table. “Can’t make sense of the inscription for the life of me, though.”
With a shaking hand, Cressida took it. “The markings are odd, but I think…”
She got up and went to one of the bookshelves in the other room, selecting an old volume that had once belonged to her husband.
“Edmund had a fascination with anything Greek.” Cressida flipped open the book, finding the page with the Attic numerals. “Will you pass me a piece of paper?”
Tobin fetched one from the other room, bringing it back with a pen and some ink and putting it in front of her. She transcribed the numerals before handing it over.
“I don’t know what it means, but it must be important if it was worth all this mess,” she said, her heart aching.
Tobin’s brows furrowed. “They look like coordinates.”
“Do you think something might be hidden somewhere?” Cressida bit the inside of her cheek, wondering if the story wasn’t quite over yet.
“Only one way to find out.” He went and grabbed a map from the study, coming back and finding the location on the property. “I’m going to go for a walk. Make sure there isn’t anyone else lingering on the property. Then I’ll head to those coordinates and see what can be found.”
He reached up and took the rifle down from above the door, making sure it was loaded, grabbing the extra ammunition pouch, and then heading out.
Etta stepped into the kitchen with a smile, watching the door as it swung shut behind Tobin.
Cressida poured herself and Etta two mugs of coffee before sitting down at the kitchen table.
Etta cupped her mug, an impish smile curling at the corners of her mouth as she looked up at Cressida. “You should be thanking me right now?”
“Why?”
“Because I faked the fainting spell.” Etta laughed before sipping her coffee, delight shining in her eyes. “I’m sorry for scaring you, but there was no way Conrad was going to become my brother-in-law.”
Cressida burst out laughing, tears streaking down her cheeks as she shook her head. “I can’t believe you!”
“He was trying to force you into marriage in front of the entire town! What kind of man does that? Especially when you’ve made it clear that you’re not interested in his affections. There was no way I was going to let any of that happen.”
“You truly are the best sister, aren’t you?” Cressida wiped her tears, her laughter dying. “Thank you for that.”
“I’m even more glad I did it now, especially after the way he’s working with that Ambrose man.” Etta’s gaze dropped to the table. “I don’t know what to think of that entire mess.”
“Ambrose spoke in circles, and none of it felt like it made sense. There was no reason for Evander to stage accidents to try and have enough reason to arrest him, but then again, I don’t know the man or what he and Ronan were capable of.”
Etta nodded to the note in the middle of the table. “Are you going to try and talk to him about it all?”
“I don’t know if I should.” Cressida sipped her coffee, but her stomach was turning, the weight of all that had happened that night and in the past couple of weeks pressing down on her. “He…he hid a lot from me when I thought I knew him.”
“Does he know everything about you?” Etta asked, her tone gentle as she leaned back in her chair, looking exhausted.
“No, but he knows the important parts, the ones that matter if you’re looking to…maybe build a life with someone.”
Etta smiled. “Well then, I think you need to give him a little bit of grace. He might not have told you everything. If he had one more day before everything started going wrong, he might have been on the verge of telling you. He might have felt safe enough to tell you everything, but he didn’t get the chance. ”
Cressida drummed her fingers on the side of her mug. “You really think that might be true?”
“I think there’s a chance it is.” Etta shrugged, finishing her coffee and setting the mug in the sink. “The way he looked at you was like he was watching the greatest thing he had ever seen.”
Though it was likely supposed to make Cressida feel better, all it did was make her feel worse. She scrubbed her hands down her face, her mind spinning.
Cressida watched Etta for a moment, glad the fainting spell had been fake. Etta was stronger than she gave her credit for.
“I’m going to go to bed,” Cressida said, getting up and putting her mug next to Etta’s. “You should get some rest soon, too.”
Etta nodded, glancing out the window. “I think I’m going to stay up for a little while longer.”
Cressida nodded, Diver following her to her room. She closed the door and got ready for bed, dropping down onto the mattress and lying back against the pillows.
As she stared at the ceiling, Diver got into bed with her, nestling against her, his tail thumping against the bed while she ran her fingers through his fur.
She didn’t know if she could go to Ronan and hear what he had to say. If she were a smarter woman, she would be done with him.
She was done with him.
But as she stared out at the stars, all she could do was wonder what it was he had to say to her.