Chapter 27 Fourteen Paces
Fourteen Paces
Fourteen paces.
That was how many steps it took for River to cross from the front door to the window that cast light over the living room. Another ten to get from that window to the bathroom. Seven from there to return to the front door.
It was a path River had gotten to know frighteningly well over the past thirty-six hours.
Her nails were ruined, gnawed as close to the quick of her fingertips as she could manage.
The old childhood habit had reemerged sometime yesterday.
It was made worse by the fact that River could hear Cyrus’s voice in her mind telling her to stop.
If you keep that up, you won’t have any nails at all.
He’d told her that when River was four, and it was one of the last memories she had of him before the Stillness stole him away.
Now, Cyrus was gone. His voice was nothing but a memory, never to be heard again. And River was here, alone, in the Southern Region.
She was treading the well-worn path when her phone rang. She barely glanced at the screen before accepting the call.
“Any update?” Ryker’s voice was taut.
River shook her head, even though her brother couldn’t see her. Moisture pooled behind her eyes.
“No.” She glanced at the door, as if something might’ve changed during her trek from the bathroom back to the main space. “Still nothing.”
Nikhail had not returned from his mission, and with every passing minute, River was growing more concerned. The emptiness inside her was growing more intense.
Ryker cursed. The vulgar word was one River had never heard him utter before in her presence.
Even after she’d become of age, he usually took such care to watch his language around her.
He’d always said it was because their mother hated that kind of language.
Foul language and common curses were used by regular people.
Waterborns were not to curse, just like they were not to live.
But Tertia wasn’t here, and gods above, this situation merited all the curses in the world.
“What should we do?” River asked.
She’d done as Nikhail had asked. She hadn’t left the apartment, hadn’t even gone downstairs. A grocery service had delivered food before Nikhail left, and there was a stackable washer and dryer in the bathroom that she’d been using.
The front door hadn’t opened since Nikhail left, and that…
That was worrying River more with each passing moment.
Before, River hadn’t minded the safe house’s isolation. She had been spending her days chatting with Ember, reading, and catching up on TV that she had missed. She’d replenished a part of herself that she hadn’t realized had been drained.
At first, being here had been nice.
That was no longer the case.
Now, there was an ache in her chest. A hole other than the one caused by her missing magic. It had started when Nikhail left, and it had been getting worse with every passing hour. The walls of the already-small apartment were caving in on her.
“Technically, I can’t do anything yet.” There was a crunch on Ryker’s end that sounded suspiciously like a fist hitting drywall.
Another curse. “There are rules that I have to follow. I checked the logs, and his team checked in four hours after the time you gave me. Until forty-eight hours have passed without communication, I can’t act. ”
A strangled sound escaped River’s throat.
“I know,” Ryker growled. “I get it, River. I’m upset, too.”
“So you can’t do anything?”
You can’t come help?
Her unspoken words swirled around her, and she knew her brother could hear them, too.
“If I were at home, I could, but I was called into a fucking protection detail. I’m in the Northern Region at a gods-damned meeting with Mother, the Chancellor, and the other members of the Inner Council. There aren’t any vampires with me right now. I’m sorry, River.”
Sorry.
Such a small word, yet it bore so much weight.
“What am I supposed to do?” she asked. “I can’t just wait here and stare at the door, wondering if Nikhail will walk through it.” The pitch of River’s voice increased, and panic swelled within her. “I can’t just sit around while the gods only know what is happening to Nikhail.”
Helplessness had seized River, and its hold had been getting tighter with each passing hour that Nikhail remained gone.
Was this what Vale had felt like when she’d watched her new husband be murdered on the night of the Reunion?
Powerless and unable to act? Rumors said Vale had pleaded with her mother to give in to the rebels’ demands in order to save her husband.
Ignatia Rose had refused, and her son-in-law had paid the ultimate price.
The helplessness was nearly as awful as the intense feeling of wrongness nestled deep in River’s chest. She started feeling it soon after Nikhail left, and when he hadn’t arrived back the morning after, she knew something had gone terribly wrong.
When twelve hours had gone by, River called her brother. Ryker had assured her that this was normal—sometimes missions took longer. He advised her to try to get more sleep, certain that Nikhail would have returned by the time she woke up.
But Ryker was wrong.
River slept—a restless, nightmare-filled sleep—and woke cold and alone. The lock never tumbled. The door remained untouched.
And now, Nikhail was in danger. River knew it in the same way she knew her own name. The knowledge came from deep inside her, from a place that didn’t entirely make sense. The empty apartment was simply confirmation that her gut feeling was right.
“Nik would want you to stay put, and I agree, River,” Ryker said. “You’re in another region, and the people he’s going after are dangerous.”
“I know,” she ground out through clenched teeth.
A long-suffering sigh came through the phone. “But…”
Her brother knew her so well.
“But I can’t stay here. I don’t know how to explain it, Ryker, but I just know that I need to do something.”
Staying here and treading the same path another hundred times over was bound to drive her mad.
“I need to find him,” she said. “Especially if no one else is coming to help right away.”
Forty-eight hours. What a stupid rule. What kind of person had decided that was a good idea? All sorts of things could happen in that time frame. It seemed archaic, ridiculous, and downright dangerous.
“What if Brynleigh had disappeared?” she added when Ryker still hadn’t answered. “What would you do?”
Another curse. Then her brother sighed. “Fine. I understand where you’re coming from. I don’t fucking like this, though.”
“Neither do I.”
She could think of very few things she liked less than this.
“Can you get a pen and paper?” Ryker asked.
“One second.” River ran to the bedroom, retrieving the items from the nightstand. “Got them.”
The clicking of keys reached her ears, and Ryker hummed. “All right. Here’s what I think you should do….”
River stood in front of the full-length mirror on the back of the bathroom door, trying to reconcile the person looking back at her with the woman she knew herself to be.
From the combat boots on her feet to the form-fitting black leggings and tight, long-sleeved black shirt hugging her curves, she looked every bit the soldier she was pretending to be, not the doctor she was. The outfit, courtesy of whoever stocked the safehouse, fit her like a glove.
It didn’t help her unease.
Guns were holstered on her thighs, and she had a knife hidden in her boot. The last time she’d held such weapons was when Ryker had taken her to the range when she was eighteen to teach her how to shoot. River had learned to appease her brother, never thinking she’d actually have to use the skills.
Her stomach had twisted into knots as she’d pulled the guns from the safe, having been given the code by Ryker. She hated the thought of using the weapons, but hated the idea of Nikhail being hurt even more.
River’s brown hair hung in a braid over one shoulder, and her face was free of makeup. Even with her many piercings, she could’ve been mistaken for a soldier. The only thing setting her apart was the jet-black shackles around her wrists.
Even though the cuffs were the same color as the rest of River’s outfit, they drew the eye. There was a dark gleam about them, as if they actively absorbed the light.
Tracing a finger over the cold metal, River shivered. She’d been wearing the cuffs for several weeks, but she still felt their inherent wrongness. The way they blocked magic was utterly unnatural, and every part of her rebelled against them.
And yet, River stood by her decision to leave the Hub with the shackles on. There was no way of knowing what might’ve happened if they’d been taken off then. Her state of mind had been fragile, her control probably nonexistent.
But those days felt so far away now.
Yes, River had been broken. Yes, she’d been cursed. Yes, her grief had been overwhelming. Even now, she could feel it edging at the brink of her mind.
But the truth was, all those horrible, awful things would be eclipsed by the agonizing pain that would strike her if something happened to Nikhail.
The clouds would never part again, and the darkness she’d already waded through would be nothing but a fraction of the agony she’d experience if she lost him.
Because somewhere along the way, Nikhail Galebringer hadn’t just taken pieces of River’s heart. He’d stolen the entire vital organ.
River hadn’t fallen for Nikhail overnight.
Instead, with Nikhail’s steadiness, his grounding touch, and his promise to help her see the stars, he had slowly made himself the most important person in her life.
Every moment they spent together, every kiss they shared, simply served to solidify his claim on her heart.
I love him, River realized, dropping her hand from the shackle around her wrist.
She hadn’t dared let herself think about those words, hadn’t allowed herself to consider what loving someone meant.
It was a frightening thing, love. It horrified River, in a way, to discover that the steady beats of her heart were not for her at all, but for Nikhail.
She loved him so much, it hurt. Each beat reminded her that she was here, without him.
And that was why the prohiberis cuffs had to go. She had to take them off and wrangle her curse under control, because the man she loved was in trouble.
River turned the small, black key she’d found in the nightstand on her first day in the safe house over, tracing its ridges with her fingers.
The metal was cold, just like the cuffs. Initially, she’d hadn’t even suspected the key’s true purpose. She’d looked right past it during her snooping.
But today, the key had drawn her to it, and she retrieved it after her call with Ryker. The moment she’d picked it up, a strange buzzing sensation had raced through her, as if confirming its purpose.
Nikhail had mentioned there were some spare keys for prohiberis cuffs hidden in safe houses throughout the Republic. Was it here by accident, or had he known of the key’s presence when he brought them here?
She wasn’t sure, and she couldn’t ask him.
Not yet.
Add it to the many things they would have to talk about when he finally came back. River’s fingers trembled, and the key shook as she brought it over the manacle on her right wrist.
Inhale.
The word echoed through her mind. Not in her voice, but in Nikhail’s deep tenor.
She did as the memory of him instructed.
Exhale.
She listened to his instructions, steadying herself, and inserted the key into the first cuff.