Chapter 18 #2
She snatched her hands away, stepping back from him. “Excuse me, my lord. I’m a little too…unwell to continue this dance.” She whirled around and practically ran from him.
She thought she could hear his laughter somewhere behind her and suddenly felt as if she was suffocating.
She headed for the bay windows that led out into the garden. She burst out of them, breathing hard and found a dark corner in which to sit. As she collapsed onto the flat paving stones, Daisy held a hand on her chest as she tried to bring her breathing back under control.
“Daisy?”
She froze.
Edmund stood just beyond the shadow of the house, as though he had been moving toward her and stopped the moment he saw her properly. His eyes scanned her face.
“What are you doing out here?” he asked.
“I needed air,” she said quickly. “That is all.”
His expression did not ease.
“You left the ballroom looking unwell,” he said. “I followed you.”
“I am fine,” Daisy insisted.
His gaze held hers. “No,” he said quietly. “You are not.”
“I am perfectly capable of deciding that for myself,” she said.
“I am sure you are,” he replied. “But you are still sitting there like you are trying not to fall apart.”
Her breath caught, and she hated that he had seen it so clearly. “I am not falling apart.”
A flicker of frustration crossed his face. “Then tell me what happened.”
“I already told you,” she said, too fast. “It was nothing. A rude man said unpleasant things. I do not need to make it into more than that.”
At that, his jaw tightened. “Dulforth,” he said flatly.
Daisy hesitated again.
Edmund looked away for a moment, as if restraining something. When he spoke again, his voice was lower. “I should not have left you alone near him.”
“I am not your responsibility.”
“Yes,” he agreed at once. “Yes, you are, Daisy. You are my fiancée. Even if it’s only for… Either way, I have a duty to protect you.” He paused and caught his breath. Then, in a much more measured tone, he added, “I would not have left you if I had known he would speak to you like that.”
Daisy’s fingers curled slightly at her sides. “I am not in need of rescuing,” she said.
“I did not say you were.” He stepped closer, then knelt so that they were eye-to-eye with one another.
“I do not care what he said,” Edmund said. “Not in the sense you think I do.”
Daisy frowned slightly. “Then what do you care about?”
That made him go still.
“I care that you came out of that room looking distraught,” he said.
“It is not your place to care,” she said.
The words sounded feeble, even to her own ears. She wanted Edmund to care because she did. She cared for him deeply, and when he looked at her with such loving devotion, she could only hope and pray that she was understanding him correctly.
“It seems I cannot stop myself,” he said.
Daisy blinked. “What?”
He exhaled once, sharply, like a man trying to step back from a ledge.
“I am trying to speak to you sensibly,” he said. “I am trying to remind myself of every reason this must remain… contained.” His gaze held hers now. “And still all I can think about is the way you looked when you came out of that room.”
Silence. The air between them changed, not suddenly, but unmistakably.
Daisy’s pulse stumbled. “Edmund—”
He shook his head slightly, as if interrupting her before she could steer him away from saying what was on his mind.
“No,” he said, quieter now. “He cannot speak to you like that when I am not there. He cannot speak to you, full stop. A man like Dulforth should not be permitted to share the same room as you.”
Daisy’s hands had gone still at her sides. “Edmund…” she began again, but this time it was not a protest. It was uncertain.
He looked at her properly then.
“I am trying,” he said quietly, “to do the correct thing here. And I am failing at it.”
He inched forward, not suddenly, but decisively this time.
Daisy did not scoot back.
His hand lifted slowly, as though giving her every possible chance to refuse. When she did not, his fingers came to her cheek.
“Daisy…” he breathed, and she leaned into his touch, desperate for its warmth.
That seemed to motivate him.
For he surged up, fitting his lips gently to hers. He waited for a split second, perhaps for her to push him away, but she could not do that.
No. No, I cannot. Not now.
She grasped his collar instead, pulling him closer and letting their kiss deepen. He moaned into her mouth, reaching up to cup her elbows in his hands as their mouths moved together.
His tongue quested into her mouth, and she parted her lips, letting him inside. His hand grasped her neck, and he held her steady as he plundered her mouth. She felt a familiar swooping sensation in her belly and wondered if he would do it again.
Will he pull up my skirt and plunge his tongue into my sex like he did before?
Daisy understood where they were, sitting on a stone balcony, where anyone might see them, but she could not stop the thoughts from forming.
She could feel the wetness accumulate at the junction of her thighs, and she clenched her muscles tightly, preparing for whatever might happen next.
His hands trailed all over her back as his kisses moved from her mouth to her cheek to her jaw and then down to her cleavage. Her breathing increased exponentially with every touch, and she ran her fingers into his hair, gripping hard and pulling him closer as she moaned.
His entire body surged towards her, and he groaned before pulling away and clambering to his feet.
She stared up at him and sucked in several deep breaths.
She remembered how it felt when he pulled away from her the last time.
He was right. They could not do…that…again. Not now, and not ever. Unlike everyone else, they knew they were not betrothed.
“We—we cannot keep doing this,” he stammered. There was a tremble in his voice.
She nodded shakily. “You’re right.”
He stumbled backward. “I…shall go back inside. Shall I send your friend Lydia out to attend you?”
She shook her head. “No. Please don’t. She is far too astute. I cannot have her see me like this.”
“Then let me summon my carriage to take you home.”
She looked slowly up at him and managed a strained smile. “Don’t fret over me. I shall be fine. I promise.”
He hesitated for another moment before he nodded and left.