28. Celeste
Chapter 28
Celeste
I hold Mia in my arms for a few more beats, my heart breaking for the girl. She’s so strong and self-sufficient, but in this moment she feels so fragile and innocent.
Merde. Caleb might fear commitment with me, but he can’t do this to Mia. She didn’t have a father in her life for a decade, she deserves one who cares beyond his credit card.
The shitty thing is, I know he doesn’t want to hurt her. He just doesn’t know what to do. And he doesn’t realize how his absence impacts her. I didn’t realize it either.
“Come on, let’s wait for him downstairs. Where would you like to go eat?”
Mia drags her feet behind me like I’m forcing her to attend a broccoli-eating contest, taking each step gingerly.
Caleb rushes out of the kitchen with a smile. “I called the smashing place. We’re booked in an hour.”
Mia stops and eyes him, an unsure ghost of a smile tentative on her face. “I thought we were going out for brunch.”
“Change of plans. We’re having street hot dogs on the way.” He winks at her and her face lights up.
I don’t know what happened between his earlier behavior and now, but seeing Mia’s hesitant responses puts a grin on my face.
“Look, Mia, he did find his personality in the shower.” I hold my hand out to high-five her.
She scoffs, but hits me back. Grabbing her hand, I pull her toward the elevators.
“Okay, I deserve that.” Caleb shrugs. As we walk past, Mia extends her other hand in his direction.
He looks down for a moment and takes it, his throat bobbing. My chest swells with warmth for these two wounded souls who, despite my efforts, found their way into my heart.
My fake marriage might end sooner than I’d like, but I will forever cherish this moment.
We pile into the elevator like a normal family going out on a Saturday. We might be an unconventional group, but this morning we feel like a family.
Sun rays tickle my face as we stroll down the bustling chaos of Times Square. We smashed an entire room, and we ate hot dogs, sauce dripping down our forearms.
I pretended to take a call a moment ago, to give them some alone time.
Their heads angled toward each other, they share a laugh about something on Mia’s phone screen. I wish I could hear them over the honking cabs and chattering tourists.
But even just seeing it, experiencing it, I feel we’ve turned a page after the awkward morning. Seeing them like this tugs at something deep inside me.
Thumping bass music fills the air and Mia stops, her feet already finding the beat. A street performer is throwing down some impressive hip-hop moves on the pavement in the middle of the square.
I can’t help but snap a picture of the two of them. While Mia is completely enthralled by the young man with a boombox, Caleb steals a glance at her, his expression softening.
“Go on.” He winks at her, nudging her forward. “Show them what you’ve got.”
Her eyes go wide, gaze darting between the jamming dude and Caleb. Excitement and shyness etched around her face, she bites her lip, and instead of forward, she steps backward, bumping into me.
I’m about to tell her she doesn’t have to do it, even though it’s clear she’s just shy, when Caleb steps forward.
“I’ll join you.” He shrugs, a dare in his eyes.
Mia glances at me, and I nod as if it’s my place to give her the okay. Her face lights up, and she angles toward the makeshift stage area.
The performer, sensing an opportunity, cranks up the volume and steps back, giving them the spotlight. The crowd around us gathers, curious about this unexpected twist.
Caleb stomps his feet awkwardly, his movements stiff and unsure, and I stifle a laugh. Mia grins as she takes the lead. Her body flows to the rhythm with grace and confidence.
Caleb watches her, a proud smile spreading across his face, and then, something incredible happens. He mimics her movements, his initial awkwardness melting away as he lets go of his inhibitions.
The crowd cheers them on, and Mia’s laughter rings out, pure and joyful. She reaches for his hand, and together they spin and twirl, a beautiful, unrestrained duet.
I clap along with the crowd, swelling with affection, watching them. As I stand here, witnessing this beautiful scene, my heart opens up, embracing this new, unexpected family.
Caleb’s eyes meet mine for a moment, and I see a spark of something raw and real there—an openness that wasn’t there before. Or one that I didn’t want to see because of its possible meaning.
It’s like the wild, unfiltered joy slowly chips at his defenses. And I know this is about his daughter, but I can’t help but hope. Because there’s no way I could have ever exited this arrangement without hoping for more. As much as I wanted to protect myself.
His gaze locked with mine, we travel into another world. Music and noise fade away as we remain in our own bubble in the middle of the vibrant city. His feet stop, and the hectic energy around us freezes.
Something passes between us that is deeper than the usual heat. Greater than our fears. Truer than our misconceptions.
The performance ends with a flourish, the crowd erupting into applause. Caleb’s gaze breaks away and he joins Mia in taking a bow, their faces flushed and beaming.
Caleb wraps his arms around her in a first spontaneous and sincere display of affection. After a tense beat, Mia snakes her arms around his waist.
I wish I could document this, but it’s their moment and I don’t want to disturb it with my phone. As they return to me, Caleb pulls both of us into a group hug, his laughter echoing in my ears.
Mia giggles as she turns and chats with some of her audience, a woman showing her a phone screen.
“Did you see that?” Caleb asks, breathless and grinning.
“Oh, I saw it all. I knew Mia was talented. But you’ve got some moves.”
He leans in, his lips by my ear. “I’ve got moves, black swan. And you already know some of them.”
An involuntary shiver shudders through me, all my emotions crashing into this moment, and I know beyond a doubt, surrounded by the bustling heart of the city, I belong right here with them.
If only that was reality.
“Are you sure you don’t want us to drive you?” Caleb asks Mia for the tenth time.
We had the best afternoon, but Mia got a text from her mother and announced, rather anxiously, that she needed to go home.
“I’m fine. I’ve taken the subway lots, and it’s faster.” She bounces on the balls of her feet.
“Just please let us know you got home all right.” I give her a hug .
“And if I can do anything to help…” Caleb offers, a veil of awkwardness creeping between them again.
“I will.” She turns and skips down the stairs, but stops halfway. “Thank you for a great day, Dad.”
Caleb squeezes my hand so hard I worry about my bones, but the significance of the moment directs my attention away from the crushing force.
He swallows. “I’m looking forward to the next one already, Mia.”
Seeing this proud man choked up cracks another barrier I created around my heart. We stand there motionless long after Mia disappears underground.
“Caleb van den Linden, it’s hard for me to admit it, but I’ve been swooning all day.” I turn to face him.
The grin that lights up his face is warm, but also the one I know well by now. Full of heat and desire. “Does it mean I can pull you into the alley here?”
“Wow, who are you, and what have you done with my deviant husband? He would never stop to ask.” I feign horror, mostly to mask my excitement.
I never knew sex in public could be this thrilling. Be something I crave.
“In that case.” His long legs eat the few feet across the pavement, and he drags me with him, holding my hand.
The alleyway is narrow and dark, filled with humid air. But it’s also abandoned. A square of light leading to the street on the other side of this block is far away. It’s not a completely secluded area, but it gives us some privacy.
I think.
Or rather, I don’t think at all. Because my back hits the brick wall, and Caleb captures my mouth with such ferocity, I lose my mind.
I only feel, drowning in this man’s desire, in his need, in his willingness to please. To take and to give.
“Hike up your skirt, Celeste,” he demands.
Aw, the player is back. My gaze jumps in all directions. For a brief moment, I consider the question of safety here, but I dismiss it immediately.
I trust this man completely.
Trust? The idea sneaks up at me so suddenly, I want to bolt, hide, and deal with the implications.
Instead, I pull him in to kiss him. All in, teeth clashing, tongues dancing, biting and sucking like this is the only kiss I’ll ever give.
“Skirt. Now,” he growls.
It’s a testament to my absolute lack of common sense or self-preservation instincts when I’m around this man, because I grab the fabric and shimmy my hips to pull the tight material up my thighs.
Merde, why did I wear a pencil skirt today?
As soon as he glimpses my underwear, Caleb grabs my wrists and looks around. “Don’t ever wear this skirt again.” Frustration laces his voice.
“I like it. What’s your problem? It’s up.” The humid air sticks between my bare thighs.
“Yeah, and you’re exposed for everyone to see.” He steps closer, covering me with his body.
“Jesus, then hurry up so I can lower it.” I’m wound up with my need for him.
He growls and yanks my skirt back down. “Not here.”
Before I can even process the situation, he drags me back to the street. The man who enjoys sex in all the weird, not discreet places, cares about my modesty?
I stop. “What just happened?”
Caleb groans. “You wore a stupid skirt.” Someone bumps into him, and he pulls me to the side.
“That’s never stopped you from wetting your dick before,” I snap.
We glare at each other, our chests heaving. It doesn’t bother me that he changed his mind about sex in the alley, but this caveman act is redundant.
“Fuck.” He shakes his head slightly, closing his eyes.
“That, we didn’t,” I quip.
He opens his eyes and studies me for what feels like an eternity.
During that pause, I consider telling him that I feel this relationship is getting out of hand, and we need to talk about it. Define it. Or just agree that we’re still on the same page.
Because if our story started with a deep dislike, I’ve certainly moved on from that. And even without discussing it, I know he has as well.
The question is, are we on the same chapter? Or has the plot changed, and now we’re each living in a different book?
“Talk to me, Caleb.” I put my hand on his chest.
He keeps shaking his head, like he’s trying to rid himself of something. “Someone could have seen you there… I don’t want anyone to see what’s mine.”
My breath hitches. What’s mine? “What are you saying?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Celeste.”
The statement is full of anguish and frustration. But it’s also a moment of self-reflection. One that he decided to share with me. Like he trusts me as much as I trust him.
We stand there while the pedestrian traffic flows around us, like the two of us have our own world. Where I’m truly his, and he’s mine.
I keep my hand on his chest, his heartbeat pulsing under my palm, and I weave my other hand through his fingers. Holding space for him. For me. For us.
He sighs. “It’s all too much. I don’t do commitments, and suddenly I’m partnered with three other people founding a company. And at the same time, I’m trying to figure out how to be a father. It’s all happening at the same time. And then this…” He bows his head, closing his eyes briefly.
His torment vibrates through our touch, and as much as I want to hear him say it, declare something about the two of us, I can’t make any demands, because he’s right. He’s got his new company and Mia to focus on.
“You worry about Mia and Merged. I’ll be here until the visa.” My stomach sinks at the liberty I just awarded him.
But I can’t cause him more stress. Everything in his life is new, and as much as I want to be his constant, that’s not who we are.
He cups my cheeks and lowers his forehead to mine. “Just give me some time, black swan. I’ll figure it all out.”
“Okay, pretty boy. In the meantime, I won’t wear a pencil skirt.”
He chuckles and takes my lips.
“Sorry about…” He beckons his head toward the alley. Then he smiles, quirking his eyebrow. “You told me you like your men with a bit of restraint in public,” he says, reminding me of our hostile exchange from what feels like a lifetime ago .
“I think you changed my mind about that.” I grin. “Besides, do you expect me blushing and less opinionated now?”
“It wouldn’t hurt,” he teases. “But you’re perfect the way you are.”
Oh, my poor heart. I kiss him, and pretend his kiss is all I need.
That his kiss is more than him reassuring me. Telling me things between us are real. Are bigger than our physical attraction. Are beyond the visa application.
I take his kiss because that’s all he can offer now. And more than my demands, he needs space.
I take his kiss, and hope despite myself that its sweetness will heal my heartbreak.