Chapter Thirteen
Since Owen wasn’t planning on staying in Service, knowing Carly was leaving shouldn’t make him feel as if a mule had kicked him in the gut, but it did. He pushed aside his dinner. What he’d eaten already churned in his stomach, setting off a wave of heartburn.
“What’re your plans?” he asked.
“You can’t tell anyone what I’m about to say.”
Not sure he wanted to hear but unable to resist, he took a big swig of wine and nodded.
The words poured from Carly. Her promise to her mother to help raise Ryder, but how she’d ended up being his primary caregiver, something he’d realized in high school.
After graduation she’d temporarily helped her father with the ranch finances, but that, too, became her responsibility.
The promise she’d made to her mother determined every decision she made, often ending with her putting her brother and father’s needs, before her own.
She told him how instead of living on the Texas Women’s University campus, she’d commuted to Denton and lived at home because it was best for Ryder.
“I always thought you were going full force into the college experience.” Owen shook his head as his irritation vanished, replaced with admiration for the sheer strength that had allowed her to carry incredible responsibilities on her slim shoulders for so long.
Ryder he understood because he was a kid, but her father?
The man had no right dumping on Carly. “And what you were doing was driving an hour and a half one way to get to class. Guess that means you didn’t stick around on campus long. ”
“It wasn’t easy, but it was doable. I arranged my classes to be home by the time Ryder got out of preschool and then later elementary school.
” She toyed with the stem of her wineglass.
“Now that Ryder’s graduating, I can do what’s best for me without thinking about anyone else.
I feel like I stumbled into my life and career because I had to stay in Service, and you know how limited choices are here. ”
He nodded. His mind now processing well enough thanks to therapy to follow conversations better, he said, “Go into business, ranching, work at the plant, a store or a restaurant, or be self-employed in finance or the law are about it for choices.”
“Or work as a physical, occupational, or speech-language pathologist at Horses for Heroes,” Carly continued. “But now I can work anywhere.”
“The world’s a big place. When it gets tough, a place like Service isn’t a bad place to be.”
“That’s because you’ve got a supportive family. One who gives you as much as they take. If you had one like mine, if you’d had to fend for yourself while taking care of your family, you’d have a different opinion.”
Knowing all this, he couldn’t blame her for wanting to spread her wings.
“You still haven’t said what your plan is.”
Her finger traced the rim of her wineglass. “I haven’t told anyone, but I want to move to Denver. It has a lot of recreational options as well as the big city entertainment. I hope to find a job as a therapist before I go, but with what I’ve got in savings, I should be okay for a while if I don’t.”
“Sounds like you’ve really thought this through,” Owen said, his voice sounding lifeless even to him.
“I’ve tried to. My plan was to tell Ryder and Dad after graduation, and then give notice.
I’ve even spent the last two months subtly preparing Holly to take over and planned to encourage her to apply.
Then I thought I’d put in a good word for her and pray the board realized she’s the best person for the job.
That would’ve given me until Ryder leaves for college in August for Holly to make the transition. ”
He had until August. He downed the last of his wine and refilled his glass. He realized he wanted more with Carly, but he’d settle for that.
“But now I don’t know if Holly will want the job.”
“What makes you say that?”
“It’s not my place to say.”
Despite her cryptic comment, Owen decided not to push her and instead turned the conversation back to Ryder. “I also wanted to tell you Ryder’s struggling with calc. I offered to help yesterday, and today he texted saying he’d take me up on it.”
“I wish he’d told me. I’d have hired a tutor. Since you’re doing that, I guess I should—”
“If you’re gonna offer me money, don’t. I’m doing this because Ryder needs help.” And for Carly because she worried about her brother.
“Thank you for helping him.” She shook her head. “Considering my occupation, how did I miss all this going on with Ryder?”
“You’re too close to it, and teenage guys aren’t the easiest to figure out.”
She looked at him with trust in her eyes again. He sucked in his breath and wished he could put on a red cape for her. “What do I do? I can’t let Ryder feel guilty for the choices I made.”
“You start by going home and being honest with him.”
“You’re right.” She picked at her fingernail. “Dumping my problems on you wasn’t what I planned for tonight. Can I give you a rain check?”
“I’ll hold you to it.” They had time. Not much, but some. That would have to be enough, and he’d enjoy every moment and for now, quit worrying about the future.
*
On the drive home, Carly rehearsed various scripts for talking to Ryder, but all that accomplished was make her want to throw up. When she pulled into the driveway, she forgot about what she’d considered saying, deciding to speak honestly from her heart.
Once inside, she headed for Ryder’s room and knocked on the door. “Ryder, can we talk.”
“Forget it.”
“I know you’re upset because you think I blame you for having to stay in Service all these years.”
Feet pounded across the wood floor. The door flew open. Ryder stood in front of her, his body rigid with anger, his hands fisted at his sides. “He had no right to tell you. What else did he say?”
“Nothing, and Owen only told me what you were mad about because I begged him and because I didn’t think you’d talk to me otherwise.”
“You got that right, and I’m not gonna talk to you now.”
When he tried to shut the door, she shoved her boot into the space to keep it open. “We can either do this face-to-face, or through the closed door, but I will have my say.”
“Whatever.” Ryder stormed across his room and threw himself on his bed. Then he grabbed earbuds, jammed them in his ears, and stabbed at his phone. Even across the room she could hear the heavy metal music.
She stalked across his room and withdrew the earbuds and clutched them in her fists.
While she couldn’t make him listen or understand what she said, she could make him physically hear her words.
“No one forced me to live at home rather than in the college dorms. I chose to. Then after graduation, no one made me take a job in Service. If I’d wanted to work elsewhere, I would’ve applied at other agencies, but I chose to live here. ”
“All I’ve been to you is a chain around your neck. I was a promise to fulfill to Mom.”
“I admit that Mom asked for my promise to help raise you, but I would’ve done that whether she asked or not.”
Her brother laughed. The harsh, bitter sound grated against her ears and slashed through her heart. “That’s rich. Save it for someone who’ll believe your story.”
“It’s the truth. Some of the best moments of my life are ones I’ve spent with you.” Tears pooled in her eyes, but she bit her lip to hold them back. She refused to cry. Ryder would only think it a cheap ploy anyway.
Instead, she focused on her memories. “When you took your first steps, they were toward me. The first word you said was my name. I was so proud when you hit your first home run after all the hours we spent with my pitching to you to improve your hitting.” She sank onto the foot of his bed.
“And I wouldn’t trade a minute of it for anything.
But now that you’re going to college, I can see what the world outside Service has to offer. ”
The anger in his gaze softened a touch, but Ryder remained stubbornly silent. Not that she blamed him, considering what she’d done. But tonight, she’d settle for him listening and call it a success.
She placed his earbuds on the bed, stood and walked across the room, but paused at the door to glance back at him. While he didn’t look at her, he hadn’t reached for his earbuds. “You may not believe it, but I love you and haven’t regretted the decision I made to help raise you.”
*
The next week passed in a blur as Carly and Owen spent almost every night together preparing for their meeting with Clint McMillan.
Owen’s business sense continued to impress Carly.
While he had to take copious notes to retain information and referred to them often, his brain injury hampered him only slightly with decision making time and finishing tasks.
He also appeared to enjoy fundraising and preparing proposals. Definitely more than she did.
On presentation day, as Owen drove across town, Carly sat in the passenger seat picking at her tan skirt, mentally insisting she could do this.
If only they weren’t asking for such a large donation and their success wasn’t so crucial.
She couldn’t saddle her successor with a major fundraising project.
When they reached American Mobile Homes, Carly was wound as tight as a kid the morning after Halloween.
As Owen helped her from his truck, she gripped his hand as if she’d collapse if he let go.
“There’s no reason to be nervous,” he said, smiling in reassurance.
“Do I look that nervous?”
“You look great. Fantastic even. But if you don’t loosen your grip, darlin’, I’ll lose a finger or two from lack of circulation.”
She flashed him a brittle smile and released his hand. “This wouldn’t be so stressful if it wasn’t so important. We can’t have an office that exacerbates veterans’ problems. Add that to what a huge donation we’re asking for, and I’m so scared I’m surprised I can talk.”