Chapter Fifteen
The next night the spicy tang of tomato sauce mixed with the scent of warm bread swirled around Owen as he drove toward Carly’s place.
He wondered what she’d say about his resume.
While he admitted he wouldn’t be as qualified on paper as other candidates, he possessed other advantages.
Having been a client, he viewed the agency from a unique perspective, allowing him to assess the program and potential problems in a new way.
His military background would help him understand and wade through the bureaucratic health care system.
Lastly, living in Service wouldn’t be a problem for him the way it had for past applicants.
All those factors would help his case with the board, and he’d emphasized them in his resume. That didn’t worry him.
How Carly would react to his plans was another story. Thinking of laying out his plan with her, left him sweating and shaking, worse than when at sixteen he’d asked her out on their first date.
A few minutes later when Ryder answered the door, they headed to the kitchen, and Owen opened the pizza box. “Grab a few pieces before I take this to Carly.”
“You’re dumping me?”
Cringing at the teenager’s reaction, he said, “Hell, no.” The tension on Ryder’s face and in his body eased. “I emailed her my resume, and she’s going to tell me what she thinks before you and I meet.”
“You’re applying for a job? Here in town? What about the Army?”
“I don’t want to say anything until I hear what Carly says about my resume.” Then he told Ryder they’d review for the test when he returned, and after picking up the pizza box, he headed for the Horses for Heroes’s offices.
He tried to calm his nerves, but nothing like having his future hanging on the next few minutes to make a man shake in his boots.
When Owen entered Carly’s office, she smiled weakly and took the pizza box from him.
He leaned over to kiss her, but she turned her head, causing him to plant one on her cheek instead of her full, inviting lips.
Red lights flashed, bells clanged, and railroad crossing gates lowered in his head. What was up with that?
“Another couple weeks and you’ll be out of this cracker box,” he said.
“It’s going to be exciting for the agency.
” Carly placed the cardboard box on what had been Holly’s desk.
Then reached into a filing cabinet, the drawer squeaking as it slid open, she withdrew paper plates, tossed them on the desk, and closed the drawer.
Another loud screech shattered the room’s silence.
Once they grabbed pizza, they returned to Carly’s desk.
Instead of eating, she placed her plate on a far corner of her desk.
Then she patted the papers in front of her.
“I had very few comments on your resume. You did an excellent job using nonprofit jargon. Overall, it’s solid, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up.
Not having experience in the field will be an obstacle with the board, despite your unique qualifications.
That said, it’s less of an issue with an agency this size than a larger one, and it’s definitely not an unsurmountable problem if you address it in the interview. ”
Carly’s flat tone and her reserved business attitude sounded as if she was speaking to a casual acquaintance. The warning sirens kicked on in his head again. “What’s up? What’s changed between us?”
“Nothing. It’s been a long week, and I’m running on fumes.”
Carly toyed with her earring.
“You’re fiddling with your earring.” He stiffened. “I might have a brain injury, but even I can tell from that comment something’s wrong. Even if I couldn’t, you playing with your earring is a dead giveaway you’re lying.”
She sighed and folded her hands on her desk so tight her knuckles grew white. All the while looking anywhere but at him. Not good. Whatever was wrong wasn’t little.
“When we talked yesterday, I thought I could take a dinner break, but after meeting with the temp agency last night I have more work to do for someone to start on Monday,” she said.
While that could well be true, the fact that she still hadn’t looked in his direction told him he hadn’t gotten to the heart of the matter.
“Let me help, then we can talk. I’ve had thoughts on the job, and on you and me. I want to run them past you.”
“What needs to be done would take too long to explain. Regarding the rest, send me an email laying everything out. I’ll read it in the next couple of days, and let you know what I think.”
“Email my idea, and you’ll try to get back to me in a couple days? What the hell, Carly? Level with me what this is about. Tonight.” When she hesitated, his throat tightened. “Please. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“You applying for my current job and the fact that we had a personal relationship is awkward for me.”
A rock settled in the pit of his stomach, heavy and sharp. “Had? Did I miss something?”
Damn. If she didn’t want to talk about his suggestions, she sure as hell didn’t want to hear about the little black box tucked in his shirt pocket. He resisted the urge to pat the place where his grandmother’s engagement ring rested.
Instead of answering, Carly stared at her hands clasped on her desk in front of her. His dreams and hopes for their future withered before his eyes. How had he repeated history and again made a fool of himself with Carly?
It happened because he let his guard down.
“We’re moving in different directions. You’ve decided to stay in Service, and I can’t.
For the first time since I was fifteen, I can put myself first. I desperately need to do that.
” She finally unclenched her hands, but then she started picking at her nail.
“You’re a great guy, and we’ve had a wonderful time, but I was up-front when we started this.
I told you I didn’t want a serious relationship. ”
Great guy? Wonderful time? Ouch. Then to cover up the pain slicing through his chest, he laughed. The acidic sound burning his ears. “Seems to me you’re throwing the baby out with the bath water.”
“What’s that mean?”
“You’re so busy running, so damn scared, you’re throwing away everything and everyone. You haven’t considered what’s worth keeping or what it’s costing you. Do you really think a scenery change is all you need?”
“I have to see if there’s more than this. I don’t want to look back years from now and wonder if I missed out.”
“You don’t have a clue why you’re so set on leaving and pushing people away. But here’s a news flash, darlin’. You’re running because you’re scared of getting hurt or disappointed. And you know what that’s doing? It’s keeping you from seeing what’s great about the life you have.”
“How can I decide anything when this is all I know? I have to get away. I can’t breathe here. I can’t figure out who I am.”
“Then there’s nothing else to say.” He stood, praying his knees would hold until he left. “Thanks for the fun.”
He strode across the office. His boots clomping on the industrial tile floor echoed around him. The sound battered into him.
A minute later he returned to the house, and Ryder answered the door, the teen took one look at him, and asked, “You okay?”
Except for playing the fool for your sister again, sure, I’m great.
But, he’d survive. Or at least he hoped he would, as devastated as he was.
“I’m fine,” Owen said as he followed Ryder into the dining room, where papers and a calc textbook littered the dining room table.
“You sure, because you look like a housecat who’s gone two rounds with a bobcat?”
Owen almost laughed as he collapsed into the chair beside Ryder. He wouldn’t have guessed he looked that good. “How’d you do with those problems? Is there anything you had trouble with?”
“It’s Carly, isn’t it? What did she do?” Irritation and accusation dripped from the teenager’s voice.
Whether Ryder knew or not, he still needed his sister because when times would get tough, Carly would be there for him no matter what, despite what she’d said about commitments.
Refusing to bad mouth Carly, he paused to think before speaking.
“We decided to take a break for a while. Everything’s moved so fast for us, and both our lives are unsettled right now, but that has nothing to do with you. ”
Ryder’s brow’s furrowed in concern. “You won’t let what happened with Carly keep you from coming to my graduation, will you? That is, if I pass calc.”
“Damn right I’ll be there, and no more of this if you pass calc crap.
You’ll pass. I know it.” Owen patted the teenager on the back.
He might not have a future with Carly, but he wouldn’t let that affect his friendship with Ryder.
The kid needed someone he could rely on without question.
“You can count on me. No matter what you need or when. You know that, don’t you? ”
Ryder nodded. “I’m glad you two broke up. You’re too good for Carly.” If only Owen believed that.
*
As Carly hid in her office waiting for Owen to leave after his study session with Ryder, she refused to feel guilty over their breakup.
He might not realize it, but what she’d done was best. Now they could both determine their futures without worrying how their choices affected their relationship.
They’d make a clean break before they got more attached.
Better now than having to wait for the implosion.
Despite her certainty, she felt as if she’d been thrown to the ground and then run over by a tractor. She scoffed. But then doing the right thing often wasn’t easy or painless.
She stood and paced her office, peering out the small door window on each lap. On the eleventh one, two figures stood in the driveway. Owen and Ryder. A minute later, Owen climbed in his truck and left. Instead of returning to the house as she expected, Ryder stalked toward the office.