Chapter Sixteen #3
“Please don’t. This doesn’t do any good. All that will happen is we’ll say things we regret. I don’t want us to end that way.” She picked at the weave of the hospital blanket as desperation welled inside her.
“I have to say this. I want to make a life with you, but not like the one my parents had. My dad was part of the family, but not. So much of my childhood was just me and Mom because Dad was off somewhere with the military. That isn’t the life I want, but I still need a career that matters. One that makes a difference.”
“That’s when you decided to apply for the director position.”
He nodded and brushed his knuckles over the stubble covering his strong chin.
“We could make a huge difference for veterans if we ran Horses for Heroes together. I’d manage the administrative, volunteer, and barn aspects of the agency, including fundraising and budgeting.
You could coordinate clinical services, manage the therapy staff, see to program development, and work with clients as an additional speech and language pathologist.”
Air whooshed from her lungs as if someone had slugged her in the stomach.
He’d put a lot of thought into his plan, and she admitted it appealed to her.
What if she jumped at the chance for the life he offered?
What if she made the wrong choice, and it was a disaster and they hurt each other more?
“I’ve got movers coming in two weeks. I’m leaving for Denver. ”
“Change your plans. Please.”
“How can I do that when I don’t know what’s out there for me if I leave Service?
I’ve spent my entire life living in my grandmother and mother’s shadows at Horses for Heroes.
” Her voice grew louder. “It’s a big world, and the only time I’ve been out of Texas was when Reese and I took a trip to Denver after graduation.
I want to see the world. I want adventure.
I’m scared one day I’ll look back and realize I made a mistake.
I don’t want to wonder if life passed me by. ”
“I’ve been out in the real world, seen a lot of adventure, and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, Service looks pretty damn good this time around.”
“You’re missing the point. You left and chose to return. I made the choices I thought were right staying here to help raise Ryder. I haven’t decided if I did the right thing becoming executive director, but it doesn’t matter. I made the choice, and I can’t change it. I realize now.”
The monitor tracking her heart rate beeped at a frantic pace.
Tears burned her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.
How could he ask her to give up her plans?
She’d never confided in or relied on anyone the way she had Owen.
He knew what getting away from Service meant to her.
She thought he’d understood. Until today.
That was what his asking her to change her plans meant.
The sting of betrayal spread through her.
“Don’t shut me out, Carly. There has to be a way to work this out.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to change your life, your job for me. It wouldn’t be fair to give you an ultimatum like that.”
“Ultimatum? That’s not what I’m doing,” Owen said.
“Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh,” Carly admitted.
“Sure is because all I’m asking is for us to talk about this.”
“I can’t get past if our lives are going in different directions.”
“Got it. You’ve been more than clear.” Owen unfolded his large frame from the chair.
For a minute, he gazed down at her, his eyes filled with defeat.
He leaned toward her, then stiffened and straightened instead, and shoved his hands into his pockets.
“You’re so busy running from a job that’s making you miserable, you haven’t looked at other options or what, hell who, you’re leaving behind. ”
Then he turned and walked to the door, his cowboy boots clicking across the industrial tile floor. There he paused and glanced over his shoulder at her. “Carly girl, I wish you all the happiness you deserve, but my guess is if you find it, you’ll run from it.”
*
Owen’s conversation with Carly hadn’t gone anywhere close to how he’d planned.
As he climbed into his truck, he replayed what happened in his mind trying to figure out how the visit went off the rails.
Hell, not only had it gone off the tracks, but the train had plunged into a ravine and burst into flames.
He’d had the best intentions as he sat in the hospital cafeteria planning what to say to Carly when she woke.
Then he’d walked through the door, and every carefully chosen phrase to explain how much she meant to him and how he wanted a life with her deserted him.
Instead of getting down on his knees and pouring out his heart, telling her how afraid he’d been that he’d lose her forever, how much better his life was with her in it, and that he’d do whatever necessary to make it work between them, he’d berated her for following him and getting injured.
Great way to start a declaration of your love for a woman—lecture her on not doing what he told her to.
And now he’d lost Carly for good.
He started his truck and pulled out of the hospital parking lot, but when he reached the street, he realized he needed a long horseback ride to clear his head. He turned right onto Crockett Street and headed for his parents’ place.