Chapter Seventeen
While talking to Horses for Heroes board president, another call came in, but Owen ignored it. “Are you sure there’s nothing we can do to change your mind?”
“I’m sorry, but there isn’t,” Owen said, and thanked Helen and the board for their consideration. After ending the call, he discovered a message. From Carly. Two actually. His phone slipped from his grasp. After wiping his palms on his navy slacks, he managed to retrieve her messages.
“Can we talk? I think I’ve made a huge mistake.
Or rather another big mistake. I can’t change the first one, but I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance to fix this last one.
But I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to see me ever again.
Not considering all I’ve said and done.” The beep signaling she’d run out of time sounded.
Then her second message started. “I forgot to say, this is Carly.” He smiled and shook his head.
How could she think he wouldn’t recognize her voice when he heard it every night in his dreams since he’d turned sixteen?
“If I weren’t in the hospital I’d come to see you since I’m the one that messed up, but…
Oh, well, never mind. I should’ve stopped with asking you to talk and that I’d made a mistake, but too late to keep from sounding like a rambling idiot. That’s all I have to say.”
By the time he finished listening to her messages, he was doubled over with laughter.
He’d always loved how whenever she got nervous her conversations wandered onto the oddest side trips.
This one sure had been a doozie. He couldn’t help but wonder if recently receiving heavy-duty pain meds fueled her call.
But what if her saying she’d made a big mistake was the truth?
*
When the knock sounded on her door Owen stepped inside her hospital room. “I got your message. With all your roaming around it was a bit hard to follow, but let’s see if I got the gist of it.”
Owen strolled toward her, his gait awkward and the confidence she always associated with him absent.
The sound of his cowboy boots on the wood-looking vinyl floor the only sound in the room.
Except for the thunderous pounding of her heart which she worried Owen would hear if he came much closer. “You think you made a mistake.”
Carly swallowed hard and licked her dry lips. “Actually, I said I’d made a huge mistake and then decided I’d made two.” He inched closer. His presence surrounded her.
“I felt I had to choose between you and the promise I made to my mom. I wanted to go to A&M with you, but Ryder was so little, and my dad was so—” She paused.
Owen, having consoled her countless times when she’d been frustrated with her father, knew what he’d been like then.
“Maybe Dad would’ve cowboyed up and been the parent Ryder needed, but I was so scared he wouldn’t, and the only thing worse than not going to A&M with you would’ve been going and having to come back here for my brother. ”
He chuckled, and she frowned. “What’s so funny?”
“You always take the long way around the mountain when you’re nervous.” He braced his forearms on the small chair and leaned forward. “You don’t have to be nervous with me.”
His gaze zeroed in on her. Those gorgeous eyes that always saw into her soul evaporated her tension.
“I didn’t want you to be forced to make that kind of decision.
That’s why I ended things with you the first time.
It wasn’t because I didn’t love you, didn’t want to be with you.
I never should’ve done that. That was the first big mistake I made in my life. ”
“Thank you for sharing that with me, but don’t beat yourself up about it. We were young and who knows how making a different decision would’ve turned out.” He cocked an eyebrow. “And the second mistake?”
“I did the same thing to you this time. I shut you out and pushed you away because I was scared if I took a chance on us, and it didn’t work out losing you again would break me.”
Owen sat on the edge of her bed and clasped her hand in his.
“Darlin’, that’s all I needed to hear.” His lips covered hers with a feathery kiss.
“I’ve done some thinking too. I had my adventures.
I know what I’m giving up, and what I’m getting staying in Service.
You’re right. You deserve the same chance.
If you want to move to Denver, if you want to see the world, and have your own adventures, that’s what we’ll do. ”
“You’d move to Denver with me?”
“I’ll follow you anywhere.” His deep, rough voice filled with certainty sent shivers rippling through her.
“What about being executive director at Horses for Heroes?”
“I turned down the job. It’s not worth losing you. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you in my life.”
“How can you do that for me? How can you ever forgive me for what I’ve done after how I hurt you not once but twice?”
“Forgiving you is easy when I know we’ll have a lifetime together.”
Joy spread through her as the depth of Owen’s love, the sacrifice he was willing to make for her, and his love seeped into her, warming her, pushing out her insecurities.
He was putting her, what she wanted and needed, first. No one had done that since her mother died.
Owen loved her. No strings attached. No, I love you if you help me but don’t ask anything in return.
No, I love you if you aren’t too much trouble. Just I love you. Period.
The cage she’d allowed, yes allowed, to imprison her for so long opened. The mad desperation she’d felt to escape eased knowing he’d chosen her.
“You mentioned something about us running Horses for Heroes together, can we talk about that? Do you really think the board would go for you creating a new position and us running the agency together?”
“I thought you were set on Denver.”
“I think part of the reason I wanted to leave Service was because Dad, the board, even my promise to my mom said my duty was to stay here. But what telling myself I couldn’t leave did was, it meant I didn’t have to be responsible for my choices.”
“Since I turned down the job, us running Horses for Heroes may be off the table.”
She reached for the remote and raised her bed to sit up more.
“With as hard as it’s been to find someone to consider the director position, the board will get down on their knees and kiss your boots if you say you’ve reconsidered.
But that doesn’t mean they’ll go for us running the agency together. ”
He smiled, and her heart fluttered. “How could I have considered letting you walk out of my life?” She shook her head. “Worst decision ever.”
“Promise me you’ll talk to me about what’s bothering you. No more making a decision for me and running.”
“I promise.”
“So where do we go from here?”
“We. I like the sound of that.” She smiled, realizing how alone she’d felt and how she would never feel that way again. “You helped me see all I have here. If it’s okay, I’d like to give running Horses for Heroes and staying in Service a try.”
“If that’s what you want, if you’re sure, I can make our case to the board,” Owen said.
She nodded. “If you agree to a few conditions.”
He turned her hand over, bent down, and kissed her palm. “Darlin’, you can have whatever you want.”
“You may not say that after hearing them.”
“Hit me with ’em. I can take it,” he teased.
“First, I want it in writing that I don’t have to do fundraising.”
“Agreed.”
“And I want it made clear to the board, staff, volunteers, heck the man in the moon, that we’re equals. Neither of us is the other’s boss.”
He chuckled. “Deal. We’ll make sure it’s specified on the org chart.”
“This last one isn’t for the board. It’s between you and me. If this doesn’t work, if either of us isn’t happy working together, or living in Service, we’ll revisit moving.”
“If you ever want to move, we’re outta here. No questions asked.”
Owen pulled his phone out of his pocket and they discussed the case he’d outlined supporting his plan to restructure the agency.
As they talked, she realized the worries she’d carried that if she didn’t prove herself worthy, if she didn’t give all she had, no one would love her, disappeared.
An image of a future with Owen crystalized in her mind.
All she had to do was reach out and grab the brass ring glittering before her.
“This sounds solid,” she said.
He paused and leaned toward her. His hand trembled when he reached out to cover hers. “Before I go to the board, are you sure about this?”
“I’ve never been sure of a decision before this one.”
She smiled, but her eyes grew heavy. She closed them for a minute, unable to believe fate and Owen had given her another chance at happiness.
He kissed her forehead. “Get some rest.”
“But there’s more we need to talk about—”
He placed his fingers over her lips halting her. “You’re slurring your words. Don’t worry. We’ve got time to figure it all out.”
“You’ll be here when I wake up?”
He squeezed her hand. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m in for the long haul.”
*
Two days later when Owen arrived at the hospital to take Carly home, he reconsidered his plan for the day. When he’d told her he was in for the long haul, he’d meant it, and he’d spent the last couple days figuring out what that meant.
The Texas summer sun beat down on him and he pulled his Stetson lower on his forehead to shield his eyes as he strolled toward the building.
He smiled, thinking about where his life had been when he’d arrived in Service, and marveled at the blessings that had come from the worst tragedy of his life.
His only regret was that Landon wasn’t here.
Miss you, pal. But then I always will.