Chapter 23
You’d never know from the infectious beat of the music – made with upside-down buckets for drums and hollowed-out sticks for flutes – that this place almost burned down last night.
People sing too, as a group, even as they dance.
There’s a wilder edge to it here than what I’m used to in Kingsland. It’s rougher, freer. I like it.
The Dresden not participating gather around the firepits and decorated tables. Lanterns light up the place, even though the sun hasn’t completely set. These people have so little, yet they pool what they do have to make it look nice.
Brother Thomas shoves a chipped mug of something into my hand. I glance down at the brown liquid. ‘Thanks. What is it?’
‘Happiness,’ he says with a mischievous grin. ‘Although, if you drink too much of it, you won’t feel so happy in the morning.’
I take a swallow and a burning sensation quickly coats my tongue …
along with a mystery substance that feels questionably like sawdust. Or dirt.
I clear my throat and resume searching the crowd for Marian, even though I doubt she’d come to this.
She’s likely working since the Commander’s still away.
Wait, she wouldn’t raid right now, would she? Not after almost getting caught last night.
My pulse picks up, because I wouldn’t put anything past her. I’ve never seen anyone so foolishly brave.
‘This batch is fermented pine cones and some berries for the sugar,’ Brother Thomas says.
‘It’s a little rough, I know. But you get used to it – just look at them.
’ He tips his mug towards the guardsmen laughing around a picnic table, cups in hand.
They’re set apart. The Dresden are treating them like they’ve got the pox – as they should, after the fire.
‘They avoid us until we have our New Moon celebration.’ Brother Thomas huffs. ‘Then help themselves to the wine that isn’t ‘good enough’ as payment for collections.’
I look them over. None of them are Soren, who I’ve been meaning to have a little chat with. Maybe that’s what I should do right now, make sure he’s behaving and staying away from –
The song changes to something faster, and more Dresden cheer and jump up to dance.
Dancing brings me back to Marian. Where are you?
Brother Thomas nods at a man passing by, and it hits me that the person most likely to know Marian’s whereabouts is standing right here. ‘I’m worried about Marian,’ I confess. ‘Have you seen her?’
He inhales a slow breath before responding. ‘I saw you holding her hand last night when you ran to the fire together. Things have … shifted between you two.’
‘Yes.’ Last night everything shifted between us, and now I can’t get her out of my head.
His lips twitch at my lack of hesitation. ‘I’m glad to hear. She needs more good people around her. People who are concerned for her welfare. Just … be careful.’ He lowers his voice. ‘Her father’s a tricky man.’
I glance away. Tricky, yes. Not to mention controlling. Cruel. ‘Good thing his daughter’s nothing like him.’
Brother Thomas hides his grin behind his mug. ‘Hear, hear. I suppose this once I could tell you where Marian is.’ He ticks his head, his smirk deepening. ‘She’s right behind you.’
I whip around and can’t find her, until I peer into the trees.
She’s unbelievably beautiful in a simple green dress, bent over and engrossed in a serious conversation with Little John.
My stomach flips. Her long hair is draped around her shoulders, and I remember all too well how it felt between my fingers.
The tightness in my chest releases, although not completely.
Now that a night’s passed, I hope she doesn’t go back to keeping her distance, thinking she’s protecting everyone.
And I really hope she doesn’t regret what happened between us in my tent.
Marian removes something that looks suspiciously like a slingshot from her pocket and signals Little John to hide it. He does, then throws his arms around her waist. As I approach, she laughs, and it’s glorious.
I knew they were friends.
‘I think I know where this came from,’ Little John says proudly.
Marian looks intrigued.
‘The Shadowed Saint,’ he says, voice dropping low.
She straightens. ‘The Shadowed Saint?’
Little John nods vigorously. ‘Yeah, he’s been helping us. Giving us stuff. I bet he found out that guard stole my sword, so he got me this. But don’t tell anyone; he’s a secret.’
Her laughing eyes flick to me, in disbelief. ‘I’m not sure there’s a Shadowed Saint. But if there was, what makes you so sure he’s a man?’
‘He is a man,’ Little John says back, outraged. ‘I thought he was someone else, but now I think … I know who he is.’ His eyes tentatively slide to me.
‘Oh, really?’ Marian bites her lips, taking a breath. ‘Well, then, if you see this Shadowed Saint, tell him …’ She pauses, fiddling with her hands, before lifting her shy gaze to meet mine. ‘Tell him I’d like to meet him behind the waterfalls tonight.’
A live current jolts through my veins.
‘I will.’ Little John gives me a not-so-secret look, then runs off.
‘I’m surprised to see you here, Marian,’ Brother Thomas says. ‘You don’t usually come around.’
Marian grows serious. She flicks a glance at me and must decide I’m allowed to hear this.
‘I’ve been thinking about it. What if I’ve been approaching this wrong?
Maybe I shouldn’t be avoiding the Dresden.
If I’m here more, I can step in when things go sideways with the guardsmen, like with Soren.
And the people didn’t seem to have a problem with my presence last night. ’
Brother Thomas inclines his head. ‘It also means you’ll be seen as sympathetic to us. The Commander won’t like that. He may blame you should things … keep going wrong.’
She’s more likely to get caught.
Marian presses her knuckles to her lips. ‘Neither way is safe. But for now, with Soren being so destructive, I think I should be around more. It makes you less vulnerable. Also … I want to get to know the people better. I don’t want them to be afraid of me.’
The minister doesn’t look so sure at her plan, but he nods. ‘So you’re here to join the party, then?’
She shrugs half-heartedly, then strains to look over his shoulder to where the music and dancing are. ‘Just watch from the outskirts. Maybe.’
‘Then can I have this dance?’ I ask, and offer her my hand. My gut lurches at the possibility of touching her again – and also maybe because I don’t have a clue how to do these Dresden dances. But I’ll figure it out.
Marian’s eyes light up, then tighten as she studies the crowd.
‘We can stay back here,’ I suggest as Brother Thomas takes that as his cue to leave. ‘Or do you think you should give your ankle a rest?’
‘It’s doing better, thanks. I’ve wrapped it.’
Her fingers slip into mine, and just like last night, my skin comes alive. The shock of it travels through my body, wiping away every distraction or thought except the feel of her hand. Living in this moment.
Why is it like this with her?
Little John pops his head out from behind a tree. ‘Ooooooh, he likes you.’ A full belly laugh erupts out of him. ‘I knew it. He’s always asking about you. Where’s Marian?’
‘Is that true?’ Marian shoots me a teasing sideways glance. ‘You were looking for me?’
I run a hand over my head and clear my throat, while smiling like a fool.
This isn’t her putting on a show for the Commander.
She’s genuinely flirting with me – and it’s potent.
‘Yes,’ I say plainly. Then I spin her, so her back is to the annoying seven-year-old, giving me a second to think.
Take a chance, before you regret it. Nothing in this hellfire landscape is guaranteed – especially time.
I swallow. ‘And it’s true, I do really like you. ’
Her eyes flash with surprise, and a flush jumps to her cheeks.
Her mask is gone, and it’s like I’m truly seeing her. It’s difficult not to stare.
Marian drifts closer, taking my other hand, and I could lift a wagon with the energy that slams through me. ‘I suppose you should be warned, I don’t really know how to dance.’
‘Then we’ll do our own thing,’ I say, reeling her into me and moving one of my hands to her lower back.
I begin to rock us slowly. She twines our fingers.
She’s not the first girl I’ve danced with, but she is the first who has me struggling to breathe, scared I’ll somehow mess this up.
‘Is this okay?’ I ask. Without thinking, I brush my thumb over the calluses on her palm, secretly pleased that they match my own.
She must do an incredible amount of weapons training.
She smiles. ‘This is perfect.’ Her gaze shifts to the women who are spinning and jumping in unison. ‘They probably wouldn’t want me over there with them anyway.’
‘I don’t know about that.’
She dips her head. ‘It doesn’t matter. That’s not something I need to risk tonight. But one day I want to learn that dance. Doesn’t the spinning look fun? Sometimes I watch them from within the trees.’
She tries to hide it, but I see the longing on her face. It makes me wonder who she spends her time with if not the Dresden?
I spin her away from me. The skirt of her dress flares out, then wraps tightly around her legs as she comes to a stop.
She laughs and I pull her back, my arm curling around her waist. We’re so close our faces are only inches apart.
It reminds me of last night. Of our brief kiss – a kiss I very much want to repeat.
‘For spinning, that’s the best I can do. ’
She’s breathless. ‘Excellent work,’ she whispers.
My heart thumps wildly as we return to swaying back and forth. ‘This is how we dance where I come from …’ I say into her ear.
Where I come from? Am I really not going to tell her anything about myself?
‘You’re very good at it.’ Then she surprises me by tucking her head under my chin.
It feels like the perfect metaphor for what my gut and every part of me has been hinting at all along: we fit.