Excerpt from ON THIN ICE
“ O bviously, I was wrong. And that’s part of why I wanted to apologize. I put you in harm’s way when I should instead be ensuring your safety, especially in the privacy of my home.”
“It’s not like you’re my bodyguard.”
“No, but I made it worse by making you wear that costume last night.”
Costume? Before questioning that word, though, I realized that I had him at an advantage. For once, the tables were turned, and I tried to remember the Employer Obligations clauses in the contract. I was pretty sure there wasn’t anything in it about guaranteeing my safety and, even if there had been, what good would it have done me? Did I have legal recourse over any clause he breached?
Even if I did, it wasn’t like I had a lawyer to call.
But I did sense I had a little leverage, especially in regard to the uniform I’d worn the night before that didn’t look like any other server’s clothing. “What was that all about anyway?”
He let out a sigh so heavy, it would have been audible to someone sitting on the ostentatious porch of the home we were walking past. “Lots of things. One was to remind you that I’m the boss.”
“That hadn’t escaped me.”
“And I wanted to see you in it.”
A lump formed in my throat. Between this admission and the kiss last night, there was no denying he felt the same way about me that I did about him. Did he also struggle with how wrong it was?
And why did that sometimes make me even more desirous of him?
“I suppose I need to apologize for that as well. But what happened last night will never happen again. I don’t just mean what I did—but I’m not going to hold the quarterly meetings here anymore.” As we continued walking, I realized he was actually saying he was sorry. After several more silent steps, he said, “Please tell me the truth. Did I get there in time? You said he didn’t hurt you other than your arms, but I need to know if you’re just not saying anything for fear of retribution.”
“I told you: all he hurt was my arms.”
“And psychologically?”
“I’ll be okay,” I said. If Sinclair hadn’t shown up when he had, I might have felt differently, but his appearance had made all the difference. In a way, he’d been my knight in shining armor, there to rescue me from the dragon. Had he not been there, the entire thing might have felt traumatic.
“Sometimes it takes time—so if you later feel like he did hurt you, please tell me.”
“He didn’t hurt me,” I said, carefully keeping the tone of my voice as calm as a summer lake. “But you did.”
Sinclair’s head whipped to the side as if I’d told him I’d stolen his entire fortune. “What do you mean?”
We stopped walking then, standing in the middle of the sidewalk under the shade of a huge tree. His eyes scanned mine as if searching for the truth and I decided to just let it all out. “By kissing me. You hurt me.”
“My kiss hurt you?”
“Yes.”
Remorse filled his eyes, really driving home with me that he was a real live human being, full of more emotion and empathy than I ever would have given him credit for. “Please accept my apology. I was…overcome with emotion last night—and I’d probably had a bit too much to drink. That will never happen again.”
“That’s not what I mean.” Lowering my eyes, I took one of his large hands in both of mine, relieved that he was letting me. “What I mean is,” I said, forcing myself to look in his eyes, “you made me a promise with that kiss—and now you’re breaking it.”
“A promise?”
“Yes. You don’t go around kissing everyone you meet like that, do you?”
The struggle in his eyes was undeniable. He was at war with himself, just like the internal turmoil I too was feeling. “Obviously not. But…Annalise, if I may call you that…”
“Please call me Lise.”
“Lise…you know we can’t do anything like that again, and we can’t pursue a relationship. You are far too young, and I’m in a position of authority. How do you think that would look?”
“Who cares what it looks like?” Even as I felt my face burning hot, I kept talking. “I didn’t want that kiss to stop.”
His blue eyes were flooded with shadows, and I imagined stormy seas tossing a ship about like it was a toy. “You’ve got to put it out of your mind right now.”