Chapter 22
22
T he first of many Holy shit, what have I agreed to? moments occurred when I pulled up at the coffee shop parking lot. It was there that Nick approached me holding a gas station rose wrapped in tacky hot-pink cellophane, acting like we were long-lost lovers reuniting after war. He opened his arms wide and embraced me while I stood there stiff as a board, arms glued to my side like I was a mummy.
“You look amazing,” he whispered in my ear. “Oh, how I’ve missed you.”
Before I knew what was happening, he mashed his lips against mine. He tasted of cheap junk food. I took a step back, using a sleeve to scrub away his greasy kiss. “There will be none of that. Let’s get this over with,” I stated formally, marching toward the entrance.
It may have been petty, but I was delighted to note that Nick’s appearance had taken a turn for the worse since I’d last seen him. His hair had thinned greatly, and a blubbery twenty or so pounds now resided on his once-toned midsection. Crawling up from his collar was a livid razor burn that extended all the way to his chin. Ooh looked like that hurt. Bet your list of mistresses isn’t so long now, Nick, I thought with spite.
We went inside. As if it wasn’t awkward enough that he paid for his coffee only using a handful of crumpled dollar bills he’d taken straight from his pocket, he then selected the least private table in the entire place, located in the utmost center of the room. The spotlights above, which would have been a lovely addition to any Guantanamo Bay interrogation room, felt so hot on my skull that I began to worry my hair would catch fire if we didn’t speed things along.
We stared at each other silently for what felt like the better part of an eternity. It didn’t seem as if he was too eager to get the closure he’d claimed he was so desperately seeking, so I figured I’d get the ball rolling. “So, what is it that you want to say, Nick?”
Every pair of eyes in the entire room focused on me with righteous accusation when Nick burst into tears—if they only knew. “It’s just . . . Damn, Olivia! I thought it was going to be me and you forever, you know?” he blathered like a lovestruck teenager.
The back of my neck was so hot an egg could have been fried on it. I curled a hand over my forehead and shrunk down in my seat, as if it would somehow make me invisible. “Will you please lower your voice!”
“I fucked up, alright? But I never stopped loving you!” he shrieked, bringing a fist down hard on the table. “Never!”
A woman with a young boy glared at us. Sorry , I mouthed, though it didn’t appear as if my apology had been accepted. The woman, leaving their drinks on the table, grabbed her kid by the arm and pulled him outside. I wished they’d taken me with them.
“What is this you’re doing, Nick?”
“What I can’t understand,” he powered on, “is what you see in that cocksucker Robert Bramson. We were good together! He could never love you the way I do!”
“Let’s hope so,” I quipped, furious that I’d been duped. “So, let me get this straight. You never had any intention of leaving me alone. Coffee was merely a ruse to get me to meet up with you. Am I on the right track?” It shouldn’t have stunned in the slightest, since Nick had hardly been conducting himself like a standup guy as of late. Silly me for being optimistic.
“Don’t be like that,” he said, reaching across the table to take my hand.
I recoiled, nearly knocking over my coffee. “Don’t even think about touching me,” I snapped. “You won’t touch me again. Not ever.”
For months, I’d played out the scenario more times than I could count: the biting insults and snappy comebacks I’d throw in Nick’s face if I saw him in the flesh. For once, I’d be getting the last word. I’d burn him so hard he’d be shattered for years to come.
But you know what? Now that the confrontation was finally happening, I didn’t care enough to get my digs in. If anything, I was pissed at myself for allowing my bitterness over Nick’s betrayal take control of my life for as long as it had. I’d wasted months moping around, feeling like garbage and using the closure he’d denied me as an excuse to hide away from the world. When it came down to it, I was the only one who held the power to heal and move on.
And that’s exactly what I was going to do.
Nick’s life was obviously in the toilet. That was enough revenge for me. Without another word, I pushed my chair back, got up, and walked out the door, my head held high.
My delightful ex, not yet having his fill of dramatics, followed me into the parking lot like the human cold sore he was. For good measure, he broke into a new round of sobs directly in front of the coffeehouse windows so that customers were provided front row seats to act two of the hit production Olivia Taylor Has Terrible Taste in Men. He carried on wailing while I frantically rooted for my car keys, irked that I’d selected such an enormous handbag for the occasion. Pro tip: When meeting with an unstable ex, keep it simple and use a small clutch.
I finally located the damn keys in the bottomless vortex of my purse, then sidestepped Nick to retreat inside my car. His hand curled around my bicep tightly and then suddenly ripped away before I had a chance to tell him to get his grubby hands off me. At the blink of an eye, he was sprawled on the ground, rubbing his jaw.
Standing above him was none other than the vampire Robert Bramson.
I gaped at my idiotic suitors, who were now wrestling on the pavement like two siblings fighting over the last cupcake. Robert easily could have inflicted serious damage on Nick within seconds, which he hadn’t, so I knew the tussle was merely for show. Color me unimpressed.
Exasperated, I threw my arms up in the air. “Seriously? Oh my God, stop!”
They paid me no attention because now they were on their feet, hurling insults.
Robert: “How dare you place your hands on a lady, vile swine! Cretin!”
Nick: “Fuck off, you pasty, capitalist dick!”
The icing on the whole shit cake evening was the sizable crowd forming around our classy roadside circus. A few onlookers had started taking videos. I was beyond humiliated.
Something occurred to me then, which was that Robert, being a vampire, would have absolutely no reason to be at a coffeehouse. Particularly not one in my neighborhood, with him living on the other side of town. He hadn’t . . . Oh, he better not have.
“Have you been following me?”
Robert didn’t even have the decency to deny it. On the other hand, Nick would have lied until his teeth fell out to save face if he’d been the one caught red-handed, so I had to give the vamp some credit. Some.
“Why?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“Carl informed me that you were going out, so I wanted to make sure you were safe.”
“You had your driver watch my apartment?”
“You refused my bodyguards,” he said with a shrug.
“Oh, well, then that makes it okay, doesn’t it? So, this is what my choices come down to, is it, a cheater and a stalker? Unbelievable!” I yelled dramatically and the crowd started cheering. You go, girl! some guy with a man bun encouraged.
“See, he’s a crazy stalker!” my ex chimed in, gesturing at Robert belligerently.
I’d almost forgotten he was still there. “Talk about the pot calling the kettle black, Nick,” I said. “I can’t believe there’s a need for me to say this, but I’m guessing you won’t take the hint unless I do. To clear up and delusions you might have, I don’t ever want to see you again. No hard feelings, alright? We had our time, but we’ve grown apart. We’re over. We will never, ever, ever , for as long as we both shall live, get back together. Not ever. I don’t know how else I can make you understand.”
“But—”
“Go home!” I turned back to the mob. “And all of you, the show’s over!”
I waited for the crowd to dissipate and then dealt with the vampire. Before I spoke, I took a steadying breath. “Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. And thank you, so very, very much for paying off my student loan. Although I wished you would have asked me first, it’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me in my entire life, and I don’t know how I could ever repay you.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want you to repay me. It was a gift.”
I knew it was pointless to argue. “The thing is, Robert, that this has all been overwhelming for me. Finding out that vampires exist, Nick hounding me, you following me and then paying off my debt without my consent, and now . . . this.”
“I only meant—”
“I’m not finished,” I said, holding up a hand. “I like you, more than I probably should. But I’m going to need a little space to get my head straight, okay? And, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to postpone our outings for a later time.”
He opened his mouth and then closed it. Finally, he said, “If that’s what you want, I’ll respect your wishes.”