A Ticket To Christmas

Chapter 1

The cold that washes over James when he steps off the train in Gare du Nord feels different from the frigid air in London.

The frosty atmosphere feels heady with excitement, with anticipation of what’s to come, but at the same time it’s loaded with the undercurrent of anxiety and fear of the unknown.

The platform he’s standing on looks like it’s endless, full of people pushing past him, and his chest constricts with panic.

The overwhelming mixture of stimuli flooding James’ senses is deafening and makes him freeze with the impact.

“One of these days you might want to look up,” says a strained voice from behind him. Despite the cold, the warmth filling his face feels scorching hot from getting called out.

He just got off the train, his trusted notebook clutched tightly in his hand, desperately making sure that he knew where they should be heading next without glancing any other way than at the pages in his hand.

Every stop on the trip is in there, mapped out and ready to be followed.

There’s something familiar and safe about relying on paper and his own notes.

The offline medium feels fitting for the journey he’s about to embark on.

As instructed by his companion, his eyes flick upward.

With a gentle nudge to his back he’s prodded to start moving, mingling with the people making their way into the station.

Left and right there’s a canopy of languages flowing from the people passing him by.

For the second time since stepping onto the platform there’s a suitcase being pushed into his ankle, followed by a hurried apology and someone speeding off.

James tightens the hold on his own suitcase slowly rolling along next to his feet, and pulls his duffle bag higher upon his shoulder.

Still shuffling along the concrete, swarmed in the plethora of people, he’s struck by the immense thought that, for the first time, he is doing something for himself.

For a brief second there’s another spike of panic, before there’s a familiar hand grazing his shoulder, a trusted cologne filling his nose, and he lets out a breath.

The crowd of people comes to a halt, having to push their way through single file before they can finally exit the busy area.

A quick glance over his shoulder shows Gabriel standing halfway behind him, stuck between a whining toddler and his fussing mother.

The barely concealed irritation on Gabriel’s face makes James huff out a breath of amused air.

Their eyes meet briefly. In the winter air, Gabriel’s green eyes look even more piercing than they do on any ordinary day.

For a moment, the irritation in the gaze melts away and is replaced by something softer, something familiar.

Something that’s never quite addressed. Within a fraction it’s gone.

Why Gabriel even agreed to come, James didn’t dare ask.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t grateful, since he knows he would’ve chickened out at the last moment if Gabriel hadn’t suggested he could join him.

So, while he’s not truly alone, it will be the first time that he’s doing something like this for himself.

It’s terrifying, it’s exhilarating, and it’s exactly what he needs, he tells himself.

Life is no good if you can’t let yourself live it, his therapist’s voice echoes in his mind.

It’s with that thought that he steels himself and tries to push his way through the string of people. This is exactly what he expected from one of the busiest train stations in the world.

Another nudge from a bag sends him off kilter. It turns out to be the thing that would help him out of the jam. With a small path mapped out in his mind, it’s easier to navigate himself around reuniting families and people still waiting to collect their bags.

The closer he gets to the end of the platform, the more of the station comes into view.

It’s endlessly captivating. There’s a tastefully decorated Christmas tree sitting in the center, casting its twinkling lights around the open space.

The soft melody of a slightly off-key Christmas song drifts his way from somewhere further inside the station and works its wonders to calm his anxiety.

James comes to a stop as soon as he’s found a decent spot to do so, ducking behind a bakery stand.

There are rows upon rows of filled seats, people anxiously waiting for their trains or the arrival of their loved ones.

The wonderful smell of freshly baked goods greets him as he stops to consult the carefully mapped out itinerary he penned down.

Tonight, there’s a hotel waiting for them.

Tomorrow, they’ll leave their bags on The Evergreen Adventurer and still have a few more days to explore this new city.

The Adventurer won’t be leaving for Venice for another two days.

His anxious mind wasn’t able to let him arrive on the same day as check-in. Looking at the beautiful station he’s standing in now, he’s happy with the decision to take the first day to get just that little bit more out of the city.

With a sigh, he tightens his hold on the duffle across his shoulder, anxiously looking around for Gabriel. He was right behind him; he couldn’t have gotten far. What if-

“I’m giving you one of those tour guide flags,” Gabriel huffs when he pops up in a flurry of bags and a big coat. “You’re fast when you want to be.”

“Well, you know-” James starts, gesturing to the stream of people still making their way out off the train. Gabriel’s soft sigh and nod tell James he understands the implication.

After giving Gabriel a moment to catch his breath, James positions the suitcase behind him and starts to make his way toward the metro. He makes it as far as two steps before there’s a loud thunk sound, followed by a curse so vulgar James’ cheeks redden in embarrassment.

“Watch where you’re going, will you?” The man he unconsciously walked into spits out, bending down to pick up the phone and wallet he dropped.

He mutters something about ‘these bloody tourists’ under his breath before he’s gone.

From his accent, it’s safe to say the man is just as much a tourist as James is.

Gabriel is at his side in an instant, looking for all the world ready to take on the rude stranger for speaking to James like that.

Why did he think he could do this? What must Gabriel think of him now? He can’t even handle something as mundane as a little bump in with a rude stranger.

Jittery from the encounter, feeling embarrassed by his unintentional carelessness, he speedwalks the rest of the way toward the Metro.

According to his notebook they should buy a day ticket before making their way onto the public transport.

He even mapped out the metro route they need to take.

Being overly prepared might just be his character flaw.

The row of ticket machines looks a new kind of overwhelming, the line in front of it even more so.

“It’s in French,” Gabriel not so helpfully pipes up when they finally shuffle their way to the front after ten minutes. The line still forming behind them makes him sweat. He read how he should do this, so why can’t he do this?

The instructions were in English. The machine display used in the instruction video had been as well. Why did he assume the real thing would be too? “Just, give me-”

“Here you go, English,” Gabriel says softly after pressing some buttons. “You know what we need?” After that, retrieving the tickets is as easy as the instructions made it out to be.

The system feels awfully reminiscent to the Underground system in London, and for that he’s thankful. He’s not sure he can take another mishap today. He’s already feeling wrung out enough. He hates how envious he is of Gabriel’s indifference as they ride the Metro.

Their hotel is, all in all, easily found. The room they walk into is somewhat cramped, two single beds in the middle of the tidy space and a small but sufficient bathroom housing a sink and a shower. Gabriel throws his bags on the bed closest to the door. “We still doing dinner?”

“Yes, if you want. It’s-”

“I know where it is. I’ll meet you there.” It’s all the warning James gets before the door’s slammed shut and he finds himself alone in the room. He sighs.

For a moment his eyes linger on Gabriel’s bed. The distance between the two beds speaks volumes, without ever even needing to. The city of love. James laughs humorlessly. And he’s here with someone who’s more of a roommate than a friend.

After he ticks off the first items on his list – arrive in Paris, find hotel – he leaves his things at the hotel and makes his way into the city.

He takes the wrong Metro twice, gets caught in the lunch rush, but an hour later he finds himself staring upward in awe as The Eiffel Tower looms over him, looking ominous in the low light of the foggy winter day.

If he squints, he can see the lift going up and down, bringing people up to the second level of the iron structure.

From his place outside of the glass security walls he wonders about the mechanics of it all.

As much as he would love to go up, the thought alone leaves him drenched in cold sweat. Not even the promise of a view like that could get him up there. He ticks another box in his little notepad. It’s one of the easier things to check off, since all he ever really wanted was to see it in person.

He’s feeling more excited for where he’s headed anyway.

When he planned the trip, this felt like a perfect starting point for his walk to Musée d’Orsay.

Walking over the scenic sidewalks gives him the perfect opportunity to let it settle in that he’s really bitten the bullet and taken himself on The Evergreen Adventurer.