Chapter 27
James blinks the sleep from his crusted eyes. The mucky feeling his tears left behind feels wrong after the incredible night it turned out to be.
The Northern Lights. He was able to tick off one of the biggest items of his wish list, with Gabriel by his side and burrowed in the fort-like structure they built for themselves. He finds Gabriel’s green eyes focused on him, staring at him with an intensity that makes him swallow. “Morning-”
James’ mouth snaps shut when Gabriel leans in. There’s uncertainty flickering in those bright green eyes as the movement slows. His breathing stutters. He hears Gabriel swallow.
“Is this okay?” Gabriel’s so close that James feels his breathless exhale fawn across his face. For just a moment, James’ mind blanks. But when the uncertainty in Gabriel’s eyes intensifies, he’s quick to reassure the other and nods.
It’s entirely too long, and not long enough, before their lips connect.
The kiss feels like a flurry of snowflakes.
Slow, steady and sending tingles down his spine.
Gabriel’s hesitant hands find his waist, lingering for just a moment before they squeeze the softness of his waist and pull James against him.
The pillows from the barrier are a bunched-up mess between their feet at the end of the bed.
From where they’re lying side by side, now aligned from head to toe, he doesn’t need to tug much before their bodies are fully connected.
James’ hand glides from Gabriel’s shoulder up toward the silky strands of unruly hair.
The smooth texture of the strands is just as soft as he imagined.
From the sound Gabriel makes he can tell that the touch isn’t just welcome, it’s encouraged.
He burrows his hand further into them, resting his hand at the nape of Gabriel’s neck as their lips meet over and over again.
It’s soft and caressing and lingering all at once. James doesn’t think he’s ever been kissed this gently, this thoroughly before. He shivers at the thought that they’re only just getting started.
Gabriel’s fingers flex from where they’ve wandered down to James’ thigh. The tightening hold does nothing to tone down the rush of adrenaline and relief James is feeling. Seems like he’s not alone in his feelings after all.
He sighs. The sound gets lost in Gabriel’s kiss. It’s a heady feeling to be laying here with the man that not only feels steady and safe, but real and imperfect as well. His giggle forces them to break their kiss. The soft, open gaze on Gabriel’s face says that he doesn’t quite mind all that much.
“Well, that’s certainly one way to wake someone up.”
“Sorry, I didn’t-”
James is quick to squeeze Gabriel’s neck a little, letting his fingers glide through his hair. “Don’t you dare apologize. Or take it back.” A moment of uncertainty dawns on him, “Unless-”
Gabriel’s hold doesn’t let him move away, as entangled as they are with each other.
It’s not the strong touch that keeps him there in the end.
It’s the open vulnerability on the other’s face that pins him in place and takes his breath away.
“I think this is the most honest I’ve ever been. Everything I said yesterday is true.”
James’ breath hitches. He blinks and whispers, “Do you really mean that?”
Gabriel nods as much as he’s able from their close proximity. He seems to be just as overwhelmed in his emotions as well. “I can’t just be a rebound.”
“You’re not,” James says, trying to portray the truth of the statement. “I promise you, you’re not. I think I haven’t been in love with him for a few years now. Staying was easier than starting over.”
Gabriel’s hand trails up from James’ thigh to his collarbone, where he rests the trembling limb over his heart. He smiles a little. “That’s good to hear.”
“I hope this isn’t because you think you owe me anything either.” James makes his own doubt known.
There’s a furrow between Gabriel’s eyebrows as he asks, “Owe you anything?”
“Yeah.” James pauses. “Protection, for example. You protecting me means a lot, but you don’t owe me anything.”
“What are yo-”
With some difficulty James manages to wrangle himself away from Gabriel, sitting up a little. Gabriel’s hand falls in his lap. The warmth is a comfort, even now. “Like it’s some sort of misplaced guilt or pity, for the way I am. For the way my life’s designed.”
Gabriel leans in close, nudging James’ temple with his pointy finger. “You’re in your head too much.”
“Oi, that’s mean!” James pouts.
“You want me to be honest?” Gabriel asks, sitting up fully and sliding in next to him. James nods. “I think I fell in love with you the moment you walked into the café that morning, tripped and almost face planted into the table.”
James groans, letting his head fall into his hands. “God, that was so embarrassing. I almost turned around and left.” Gabriel’s hands are back on James’ body, roaming over his back and stomach. “Hmm, I’m glad you didn’t.”
“Really? All this time?”
“Mh-hmm,” Gabriel acknowledges in a soft tone. James reaches out hesitantly. After a moment his hand settles on Gabriel’s shoulder. He whispers as he confesses, “I think it’s why I stayed.”
“What do you mean?”
“The way your presence seemed to be calming me.” He feels his cheeks flush. “Any other person would’ve laughed at me. You chuckled, concern brimming in your eyes and a steady hand helping me onto the bench across from you.”
“Trust me, I was laughing internally.” Gabriel responds, a teasing lilt to his lips. He leans back in for another kiss.
James’ smile is still soft as he mumbles, “I know. Well, I know that now at least. You’ve got a bit of a tell.” They settle into a lean of some kind, with James’ weight resting back against Gabriel’s side.
Gabriel huffs, letting out an amused sound through his nose. The hand that’s on James’ lap starts rubbing small circles on his hipbone, the touch soothing. “How about I’ll get us some breakfast? See if I can get some information about what’s going on.”
*
The day drags on in a similar fashion as the day before.
Where they trade off watching an episode of something with having a bite to eat and taking a little time for their respective hobbies.
Only now James doesn’t need to remind himself not to look too much and to not let his gaze linger.
Now they aren’t just sharing their duvets to preserve warmth during a movie, but are snuggling underneath it without an inch of space between them.
Dinner is mostly disregarded snacks and bottles of water they find in one of their bags. Neither one of them feels like leaving the little bubble they’ve created. For all James’ fears about uncertainty and insecurity about the unknown, there isn’t any of it with Gabriel.
He realized during the day that it’s never been there at all.
Even if they’ve both been keeping up facades and hiding certain aspects of themselves, James knows that this is real.
It’s genuine. It’s something good that he’s reluctant to accept, but will grab hold of with both his hands and keep in a vice-like grip.
It’s something good, something worthwhile, and something absolutely terrifying in the way that he’s not scared of any of it.
The last year has shown him that there is no-one out there for him like Gabriel is. Romantic or platonic, Gabriel’s a part of his life and his routine. It’s comforting, knowing that even if things go south between them, Gabriel will still be there. They’re friends above everything else.
As the end credits of another Christmas movie roll across the small screen and James is reluctantly peeling himself away from Gabriel’s comforting hold, the train jolts on the tracks.
For a moment, time stops. The train jolts again, smoother this time, and seems to settle into a slow glide forward.
The speaker above the door clicks to life.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we’re pleased to announce that we’ve been cleared to depart.
We’re slowly resuming our journey toward Stockholm.
It’s with great regret that we do have to inform you that we’ll be getting there sometime late tomorrow morning, since we can’t travel at top speed yet. ”
The man pauses for a moment, the speaker crackling with static feedback.
“Due to a refuel we’ll be taking a short stop in Stockholm and leave for Copenhagen after dinner.
More information about tomorrow’s schedule will be shared with you as soon as we have it.
Thank you. Have a good night.” The speaker shuts up abruptly, leaving the room silent and the occupants basking in their relief.
Tomorrow they would be waking up in a new city, ready to be explored and experienced.
Gabriel twists around, clicking off the light. “That was really something, you know?”
“What was?”’ James says to the darkness.
Gabriel’s hand settles back on James’ hipbone, pulling him back against him. His words are soft when he presses a soft kiss to the crown of James head, “You confessing to me. I always figured I would be the first one to break.”
James contemplates it for a bit, but decides to voice his concern anyway, “Would you have wanted that?”
Gabriel’s hand smooths down some of the unruly curls. “No, not at all. You just surprised me, that’s all. But then again, your bravery always does.”