Chapter 48 [James] London, England
Getting off the train feels like coming home, in more ways than one.
He’s actually done it. Gotten on the train, ticked off most of his list and explored some places he’d only dreamed of for as long as he could remember.
His eyes fill up with tears as they fall on the entrance hall of St. Pancras, overcome by the multitude of it all.
Most importantly, the journey has given him the opportunity to learn to trust his own instinct, let go of the things outside of his control and learn that there are people he can lean on.
That there’s someone in his life that doesn’t see him as a burden, but as an equal and whose patience knows no bounds.
This imperfect person, with baggage as heavy as his own, that will help him stay in his comfort zone but also to find the edges of it and expand them whenever he can tell that James is limiting himself out of doubt and not fear.
He’s gotten the opportunity to get some clarity, about how things could progress with his parents.
Especially his father. Even if he’s learned that his life is so much more than just those fancy dinners and smooching with society.
His life is more than the set expectations and rules his parents raised him with, he knows that now.
They leave the suitcases and duffel bags in the cabin, ready for pick up later in the day, and for the last time they venture into the city before real life starts again in a few days. It might be their home base, but London will always be a city worthy of exploring.
Does he rather keep out of the city center?
Absolutely. That, however, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like certain parts of it.
He booked tickets for the Natural History Museum, with high tea included.
It’s been years since he’s been there. While he takes Gabriel along the exhibits he’s reminded why he really needs to wander into the city and its museums more often.
Even Gabriel’s visibly enjoying seeing all the different animals, the whale in the entrance hall and the meteor pieces in another.
The high tea is a fun, whimsical twist on the classic, with themed pastries and delicious sandwiches.
He’s chewing on the last piece of his scone when Gabriel surprises him.
“Oh, before I forget. I got you these.” Gabriel reaches into his jacket pocket, pulling out two tickets. “Thought we should end the trip in style.”
James takes the offered West End theater tickets. They grant them entrée to an evening show, a modern adaptation of one of his favorite Shakespearean comedies. Gabriel’s right, he can’t think of a better way to end the trip. He presses a soft kiss to his cheek, pulling him close.
After the high tea the two of them take some extra time to look around the museum, going from hall to hall and ducking into the gift shop at the end. Their collection wouldn’t be complete without a bauble to represent their homecoming.
*
Dinner is a quick stop in one of his favorite places in London. Where he enjoys his time with Gabriel so much, his boyfriend once again has to remind him of their reservations at the theater.
Stepping onto the West End is coming home. It’s his favorite part of the city. Brightly colored awnings, with posters and neon lights guide the way as they make their way from the Underground station to the theater.
Gabriel’s arm around his waist is grounding, unfamiliar and everything he’s ever wanted.
The atmosphere feels charged in its newness.
Light with the knowledge that the trip is done, and everything has been even better than he expected it to be.
Heavy with the doubt of their changed dynamic, on how that will translate to things in the real world now that they’ve left the magic of Christmas behind.
But looking at Gabriel now, who’s gently guided him into one of the lobby seats and ordering the both of them a glass of red, he knows that in a way, they’ve already been making it work before even leaving London in the first place.
The main part of the theater is bustling with people, dressed to the nines and enjoying a night out of their own.
Ten minutes later, with the chime of a bell, the doors to the stalls swing open.
There’s still at least thirty minutes for them to calmly take their seats.
He knows that, and while it’s hard to not get up right the second the bell sounds, he’s proud of himself that he remains seated.
In the end it’s Gabriel who stands up, extending his hand with a knowing smile. With their fingers clasped together tightly he’s led into the room. At the sight of the red, velvet chairs something settles in his chest.
It’s like Shakespeare said: Loving someone as well as he does Gabriel.
It’s the least strange thing he’s ever done.
*
Two and a half hours later, with an ache in his side from the laughter and warmth in his face from his partner’s gentle touches, the lights flicker back on.
There’s fondness shining in Gabriel’s eyes and a gentle smile on his lips.
With a reservedness he’s come to know as the manifestation of Gabriel’s own anxieties his boyfriend reaches out and leans in.
James happily lets himself be guided into the gentle press of lips, a kiss so soft and chaste that it feels like a caress.
It’s perfect. As Gabriel leans back they separate, but he doesn’t go far.
Their foreheads meet, resting against each other.
The noise from the people around them leaving their seats fades to a dull murmur.
In their own little bubble, high up in the stalls of one the most beautiful theaters in London, Gabriel breaks the silence and says, “Let’s go home.”
James can’t stop the onslaught of tears that spring into his eyes at the thought that they really are.
*
They end the day at their apartment, and despite it being January, they take some time to liven up the living room with the decorations they accumulated during the trip. There’s a wreath hanging above the television, with lights tangled into the branches and trinkets hanging every which way.
James steps back from it, looking at it in full and can’t help but tear up.
The ornaments tell a story, from that first day in Paris, to those uncertain moments in Trollveggen, the beautiful Christmas spirit in Rothenburg and the fireworks in Inverness.
They’re a testament to the memories made, to the growth he went through and how, in a way, this trip was exactly what he needed at this time of his life.
It’s given him the opportunity to say goodbye to the past, finally let go of that fantasy of what life was supposed to look like and how he felt limited by his own boundaries, and showed him exactly what the future could look like.
Gabriel steps into view, having gone into his bedroom to retrieve something. With a flourish he presents James with a giftbox. There’s a tasteful bow on top and a nametag dangling from the side. James gives Gabriel a confused glance, eyebrows furrowing. “What’s this?”
The shy look that fills Gabriel’s face is still new, something that James has only gotten to know the last few weeks, and shows the side to Gabriel that James likes best. He’s not afraid to be open with James, which only promises good things for any future they might be building together.
Gabriel shrugs, and says, “Something I saw in one of the shops. I think Rothenburg? I thought it was fitting.”
Underneath the twinkling lights of their apartment, surrounded by suitcases full of dirty laundry and bursting with memories, James opens the giftbox to find an ornate, glass bauble in the shape of a nostalgic train ticket.
On the front, in beautiful calligraphy, the words ‘A Ticket To Christmas’ stare back up at him.