Chapter 15 #3
There was no use in arguing with him, but at least he believed he was a good father. “Fitzwilliam, you were so tense tonight. And even lately, even after we went away together. Tell me why.” He had to have been more terrified of his sister changing something than he let on.
He had been about to walk away, but he said in a rush, “Elizabeth, if anything had been different because of Georgiana’s visit, if Sandra was not here when we came back from Nine Ladies…
” He blew out a shaky breath. “I love that little girl more than anything, except for you. If she no longer existed…” He squeezed shut his eyes.
“And if I had never even found you when I came back because of Georgiana’s visit?
If I had memories of a life with you, but you were suddenly gone the moment my sister disappeared—”
Darcy was pale and she gripped his hands so they would stop shaking. “But nothing changed. Everyone is just as they should be.”
“I would not have gone back in 2013 if I had never found you, but now? Where would I belong if Georgiana had inadvertently changed our lives and I did not have you or Sandra in 2026?”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” she insisted.
“Everyone is safe. And you belong here. Nothing will change that. Sandra and I are where we belong too—with you. Sandra will test your knowledge with her endless questions and I will try your patience with all of my teasing and you will love every minute of it.”
He smiled, and she knew he believed it, but she was struck by how haggard he looked, the fatigue around his eyes deepening. “Fitzwilliam, how much has this fear weighed on you since the solstice?”
She couldn’t be sure he even heard her. He dropped her hands, bowed his head, and stood in the middle of the room like he didn’t know what to do next.
Saying goodbye to Georgiana forever—again—had taken a toll on him.
And all the receding fear of his wife and daughter possibly not existing in the way he remembered, or not at all, left him exhausted.
A dullness filled her chest as regret hit her.
She ought to have seen how worried he really was, ought to have known his relationship with his sister wasn’t the only thing preoccupying him these past months.
She touched his arm to get his attention and pointed for him to follow her to their room.
Closing the door, she said, “I’m taking you to bed. ”
He said nothing, but held out a hand for her to lead him.
She undressed him, and rather than grow impatient and eager, she took her time taking both of their clothes off.
Darcy didn’t make any provocative comments or gaze at her hungrily or take control like he often did.
He only closed his eyes and tilted back his head to give her better access to kiss along his neck.
As her hands slid up his body, exploring his chest, he relaxed a little more and even traced his fingertips up her back.
He really was a gorgeous man. She pushed him onto the bed and he fell back onto the pillow with a sigh, but at least he watched her as she climbed atop him.
She leant over him, her fingers tracing the muscles of his arms. Her nipples teased his chest as her lips traced the curve of his ear, whispering exactly what she was going to do.
His eyes were dark, never leaving hers, but he only nodded and she sank onto him.
Elizabeth pushed herself up on her arms and moved back and forth along his length.
She watched him close his eyes, his hands on her hips as he let her set their languid pace.
Then he started to move against her thrusts, making her move harder, closing her eyes and panting as the stirrings grew stronger.
“Sit up,” he rasped, and she opened her eyes. “I want to watch you.”
Something had changed in him, but rather than insist on finishing in the way she started, she sat upright for him.
He pushed her shoulders, and she leant back, resting her hands on his legs.
Darcy gripped her hips and thrust, encouraging her to rock faster before moving his hands to her breasts, squeezing them and making her arch against him.
Their rhythm grew more frantic until he swore breathily and moaned her name, and then she was gone, taking him with her, Darcy watching her the entire time.
She fell onto his chest, and his arms tightened around her.
She relaxed into the comfort and familiarity of the moment.
At first, she feared he had disappeared into the same broody thoughts as before, but then his hand traced the curve of her cheek as he pressed a kiss to her temple.
“I was trying to take care of you,” she said as they shifted to lie side by side.
“I don’t know why you think you did not.” His voice was calm and warm again, and she hoped his worries were gone. “I just needed to watch the woman who bewitched me into moving forward two hundred years in time.”
“Still glad you gave up being Mr Darcy?” she asked sleepily.
He chuckled. “I am still Mr Darcy.”
“It’s not the same.”
“No, but you’re here, and life is better with you.”
“And with electricity and chocolate bars.”
“That too.”
They were quiet for a while, and on another night he might have fallen asleep, but she could tell by how he felt in her arms that he was thinking. Guessing what was on his mind, she said slowly, “I’m sorry I never guessed why you were afraid.”
“I’m sorry I hid it from you.”
“As impossible as it is, part of me wishes Georgiana wanted to stay. I hate that you had to say goodbye to her twice.”
He tightened his hold on her. “Georgiana struggled with the principles and the advancements here in a way I never did. I think you adapted to the nineteenth century better than she did here—not that you should have gone back.”
She shook her head at the thought. “You live a complete life here that I wouldn’t have been able to have back then. I think from the moment you shaved your sideburns and ran the dishwasher, you were ready to embrace this century.”
“Seeing Georgiana again made me miss things, though,” he said softly.
“A musicale evening in London with Fitzwilliam where he charms everyone and I make satirical asides to him about people I find tiresome. The sound of carriage wheels pulling up to the house while I wait eagerly for the footman to enter and announce who has arrived.”
He propped his head on his elbow to better look at her. “But that doesn’t mean coming here was wrong. It was never about the house, or electricity, or chocolate bars,” he insisted before kissing her hard. “You simply have to reconcile yourself to being worth more than you give yourself credit for.”
“Well,” she said, embarrassment heating her cheeks, “I’ll believe that if you’ll believe you’ve always been a good father.”
“Done.”
She laughed. It was that easy for him to decide and then act. “Still glad I dragged your fever-ridden body into that stone circle?”
Rather than laugh, he asked, “Were you in love with me then?”
She couldn’t pretend she saved him only for Pemberley’s sake, or for Georgiana’s. “I did it to save a good man and the things he loved, but yeah, I was.”
“I was confident about what we felt for each other,” he said quietly.
“I just didn’t know for a long time how to take care of everyone I would leave behind.
If everything here is the same, then Georgiana must have approached Mr Willers.
You must have been right that they were always supposed to be together.
I hope she has the same happiness with him that we have, for however long it lasts. ”
“You won’t be there to share all her good moments or be a comfort during all the hard ones. But she’ll have the certainty that you support her choices and approve of her husband.” As she felt herself ready to fall asleep, she asked drowsily, “Were we always supposed to be together?”
“Of course we were,” he insisted before giving her a kiss, “and together here, in this time, is better for both of us.”