Chapter 5
CHAPTER 5
K arlene thanked Joey as he swung by her parents’ place on Friday night. As they came up the street she could see her car sitting under the streetlight at the end of the short driveway, thankfully not decorated with “Just Married” signs, paint, and streamers. Thomas was the one who’d had to face that on his Dodge Ram dually last Tuesday.
She cursed under her breath, realizing that while she might have a hidden key for her car, she needed her purse and phone, which were probably in the house. Or possibly even still at the church. Either way, she was going to have to face her parents and all the relatives still staying with them.
Even though tomorrow was Saturday, she was needed at the rink as several of her players were in physical rehab and were due for some beating up. That meant she had to get back to her apartment in the city. After that, she could figure out the rest of her week, her month, her life.
Her life. What was she going to do?
Live in Joey’s tiny house forever? And what about Joey? He’d been holding back with her since Blake’s visit, and last night’s Christmas dinner had been quiet, their earlier fun deflated. Today had been mostly chores, no kisses and she didn’t know how to fix whatever was bothering Joey.
“I have a trip to Jamaica in June,” she stated dryly to Joey, thinking of the honeymoon trip she and Thomas were to take. “Want to run away with me?”
“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” he replied gently.
“A trip for two,” she sang. “Paid for.”
Joey’s grip on the steering wheel tightened, and he kept his gaze out the windshield. “I don’t think that would be the sensitive thing to do—to take that trip with you.”
Karlene leaned back in the seat and whispered, “I was joking.” She turned to Joey as he stoped the truck in front of her parents’ house. “What happened? Between us? We were having fun, weren’t we?”
His eyes cut to hers, a certain sadness expanding in them. “Karlene, you’re on the rebound.” His gaze dropped to her bare left hand. “Possibly even still engaged.”
She reached for the door, eyes wet, but he grabbed her hand, holding her back. She waited for him to speak.
“I want something real,” he said, his voice low. “Someone who’s in the free and clear to love me fully. No regrets. No what-ifs. Nothing hanging over her heart.”
She sniffed and let herself out of the truck, his hand slipping from hers.
“Don’t you want that, too?” he asked, his voice filled with uncharacteristic hesitance before becoming firm. “Don’t choose me because I’m an easy defence against what you don’t want to face.”
A flare of anger and frustration blew through her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Kar…”
“No. No!” She smacked the side of the truck. “You don’t get to say that kind of crap to me.” She climbed back into the truck even though he’d put it back into gear. “I have loved you since I was a kid. Since I was a kid , Joey! You are not some easy shield I’m using to protect myself from the truth—the fact that I didn’t pay enough attention and screwed things up with Thomas.” She jumped out again, slamming the door, wishing she’d given him a searing kiss to seal her words and how she truly felt into his stupid, useless sense of honor-loving cowboy brain.
Karlene sat on a cold bleacher overlooking the ice rink while the Dragons performed their early morning practice before their afternoon home game. She sipped her cup of coffee despite it having gone cold over half an hour ago.
She watched the players, her mind replaying the awkward hug between her and her parents when she’d left their place, keys, purse and phone in hand, just minutes after arriving. The hug was something at least, something that made her eyes well whenever she thought about it. They were hurt, confused and embarrassed, but trying to see her side of it all.
“How’s Landon looking?” Miranda Fairchild asked, sliding into the seat beside her. The team’s owner hunched her shoulders, burrowing deeper into her wool coat.
“Hm?” Karlene sniffed back her emotions and her gaze drifted automatically to the goalie she’d rehabbed earlier in the year. “Oh, his ankle is strong.”
“How about Dylan?”
“Solid.” The center had broken his foot during training camp, another rehab case. “I expect him back on the ice for games within a month, month and a half, tops.”
“Good. I hate having these guys sitting on the bench the whole season. Thank goodness they’re insured, or I’d be broke.” Miranda smiled, looking more refreshed than Karlene might have predicted, given that the players and most of their support team had enjoyed only three days off over Christmas. Miranda, as a female sports team owner, had been getting a lot of attention in the press, not all of it good, and some days she looked simply worn out by it all.
Miranda brushed a lock of hair off her high cheekbone and Karlene gasped before her heart plummeted.
Miranda turned to her in question.
“You’re engaged?” Karlene whispered.
She hadn’t even heard the woman was dating. Then again, Karlene had been a bit busy with her own engagement leading up to last Tuesday when she’d spontaneously shredded it all.
“Dak.” Miranda’s entire being lit up in a way that awed Karlene.
She’d never felt that instant light-up feeling with Thomas. Not like that.
Shouldn’t she have? Or was it because their love had been so gradual, so expected in its progression toward marriage that there hadn’t been that element of he-chose-me-he-really-chose-me-and-loves-me! excitement some women got to feel.
“Who’s Dak?” The name wasn’t ringing any bells.
Miranda laughed, leaning her shoulder against Karlene’s. Then she stood, embracing a tall, dark man who’d joined them. “This is Dak Morisette. Dak, this is Karlene Spragg. I mean, McNaughton.” Miranda tipped her head to the side. “Did you change your last name?”
Karlene shook her head. “Still Spragg.” She shook Dak’s hand, trying to maintain a smile, hoping Miranda assumed that her remaining maiden name was about her being progressive and not the hook into a story she wanted to hear more about.
“Karlene’s the magic behind my healing injured players.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Dak said with a kind smile.
Then the two were whisked away by staff, wrapped in their own cloud of happiness, where they barely seemed to see anything beyond each other.
As it should be.
And how Karlene felt when she was with Joey.
Joey, who seemed to think she was using him.
Joey, who had kissed her.
Joey, who’d acted almost as though he was truly and deeply in love with her…
Karlene stood in her almost-empty apartment a few blocks from the rink and sighed.
“Now what?” she muttered, dropping a pair of sneakers into a cardboard box and wondering where she was going to live next. Her landlord expected her out on Monday at noon as promised, her apartment already leased to someone new. She had less than forty-eight hours to sort herself out.
Maybe Joey, even though things were messy with him, would stay true to his cowboy word and his tiny home was hers for as long as she needed.
Knowing she couldn’t stay here, she began chucking the final few items into boxes, not caring if she’d need it in the morning or before bed. She taped the containers shut and stacked them at the door. If she was smart about it, she could cram it all into her car for one trip back to Sweetheart Creek.
Or she could try to find a last-minute place here in the city.
Right.
Sweetheart Creek it was.
To beg and borrow from her brother’s best friend as the tagalong kid one more time…
She opened her door and squawked, nearly dropping the box in her arms. The man who’d been about to knock helped steady her load.
“Tom!” she gasped. “What are you…? Are you…? Come in!” She backed into the apartment, placing the box back into the stack it had come from.
“You moving in with someone?” His tone, she knew, had been meant to be joking, but obviously he’d heard something about where she’d been hiding out and had jumped to conclusions. A conclusion she was embarrassed to admit was likely somewhat accurate, even if unflattering.
“Sorry, I don’t have anywhere to sit.” She gestured to the empty rooms.
“Your stuff can stay at my place as long as you need. Use your key when you come get it all.”
She nodded, mute. This was truly it. Over. Done.
It was a strange brew of relief and hurt that he wasn’t fighting for her.
Karlene walked to her large leather purse, sitting on a stack of plastic bins near the door. She rummaged through it until she found the velvet ring box. She handed it to Thomas.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“I’m not,” he replied, his voice cracking with strain.
“No. Really. I am. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you or snub your family or—” She inhaled a deep breath. “I should have figured things out sooner and been honest with myself and with you.”
“Karlene. There were two of us in that relationship.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry. I should have talked to you in the church and not just run.”
“Karlene—”
“I’ll find a way to pay back your family for everything.”
“Karlene, shut up!” He exhaled, his body language suddenly so weary.
She blinked away tears at his sharp tone.
He gave an exasperated sigh. “Don’t cry. You did what was right.”
“I’m so sorry.” She choked on her tears, her voice wobbling. “I know I embarrassed you and hurt you.”
“Karlene.” He gripped her arms, giving her a soft shake. “Listen to me. You did what I didn’t have the courage to do. We’re both lucky, and you know why?”
She stared at him in confusion, her eyes suddenly dry. “Why?”
“Because you saved us from years of blandness.” He released her with an amused chuckle.
“Wait. You’re laughing about this?” Her heart dropped. “And blandness? I’ll have you know?—”
“Kar, just shut up and listen. Please.”
She bit her lips together and crossed her arms.
“I appreciate your courage. Yes, of course I wish one of us had summoned some sooner.” Again that rough laugh, void of amusement, and she realized he was trying. Trying to express himself after years of so much silence. “But you did the right thing by running out of that church. So, thank you.”
“You didn’t want to get married?” she whispered.
“It seemed like the next step.”
She nodded, understanding the pressure and expectations that had led them to what hadn’t truly been a bad place. But it also hadn’t been the right place.
“We loved each other, but without passion.” He reached out, tapped her arm. “I’ll always love you. But it’s more like…like you’re a friend, you know? A…sister almost.”
The word ‘sister’ hit her and she bowed her head. Would a man never see her as something more than that? As an equal or a lover?
“Know who doesn’t see you as a sister?” Tom asked.
Karlene rolled her head to the side in exasperation. She really did not want him setting her up with someone right now. Her heart had been through enough this week, thank you very much.
“McCall.”
Her neck snapped upright and she glared at Tom. Joey?
“He’s more than your friend. And when he looks at you, it’s the way I should have looked at you. You were right to choose him.”
“I didn’t choose him,” she said hotly. “He just knew where I was and gave me a place to stay.”
“How did he know where to find you?”
“What?”
“You bolted on Becky.” He made a swooshing sound and zipped a hand through the air like a horse taking off. “Gone.”
She groaned, reliving the imagined scene as he and his family realized what she’d done. “Your parents must hate me.”
“They’re confused and a bit hurt, but I think they’re starting to understand that what you did was an act of grace and saved us all a lot of hardship down the line. Although my mom still wishes we’d walked down the aisle and given her that.” He smiled, that same friendly one that was so comforting and familiar.
Karlene nodded. “Christmas must have been?—”
“Kar?”
“What?”
“Go to him.”
“Tom…”
“I’m serious. He’s the one, Karlene. And I think he always has been.”
Karlene parked her car in front of Joey’s house and slowly got out, catching a roller she used for tight leg muscles. Her Ford was loaded with the mess from her apartment, the rest still at Tom’s. She had today off, but would be at the arena again tomorrow to grind out knotted muscles and get her ailing players back into shape.
But today she had to figure out where she was living. And maybe figure out one other thing as well. Something bigger. A lot bigger.
Joey came across the yard, Brody at his heels, nose to the ground.
As Karlene watched Joey’s face for clues about how he was feeling, she had a fleeting wish that Tom had said something to him. It would certainly make her life a lot easier, that was for sure. Although did she really want her ex playing matchmaker?
Well, maybe if her chosen match was Joey. She’d wanted that man for as long as she understood wanting someone.
She shifted awkwardly in front of him, realizing he wasn’t about to sweep her into his arms and declare that she was the love and light of his life. She was going to have to do the tough stuff. She was going to have to fight for him.
Without wanting them, the tears began to flow. She swiped at them, hating herself for letting it all out. What kind of beast was she? She could run from a wedding with a dry eye, but when faced with Joey and her love for him, she cried?
Was it because he was safe? Or was it because she could lose so much if this one conversation went wrong?
She sucked in a deep breath and lifted her gaze to the man she loved. “Joey, I love you.”
“I can’t hear you.” He pulled a rag from his back pocket. He tried to dab her eyes, but she cringed, leaning away.
“I don’t know where that’s been,” she said.
He held her in place and tenderly wiped her wet cheeks. “Kar, would I really use a grubby rag to dry your eyes?”
She relented to his careful swipes.
Once satisfied that she was composed and dry-eyed, he stepped away. “Now, what were you saying?”
She burst into tears again. “I love you.”
“Are you going to cry every time you tell me that?”
She nodded.
“Well.” He seemed at a loss, his hands drifting into the back pockets of his jeans as he sized her up as though deciding what to do about her.
“I think you feel it, too,” she said, swiping at her eyes, feeling a stab of impatience and frustration. “And I’m not on the rebound. I’m not using you. I love you and I always have.”
Anger took over as he stood silently, watching her fall apart. “And you’re a big, dumb-headed jerk if you can’t see that! Also, our age gap doesn’t matter. I’m old and mature and ready. I want ranch life and we work well together. Because we belong together. We always have. I’m only six years younger, but women mature faster, so we’re even. And I don’t care what my brother or anyone else thinks. I left the altar because I didn’t have this.” She stomped a foot and pointed at the ground between them. “I didn’t feel this.”
“That all?”
“Oh, don’t tell me you don’t feel it! It’s something special and if you chicken out on me?—”
“Kar.” His patient tone insinuated that she was missing the big picture.
“I’m not a kid. I know my own feelings and I am in the free and clear to love you with all of my heart.”
They faced off, her anger and humiliation brewing. He drew a line in the dirt with the toe of his cowboy boot, then tipped his head and watched her for a moment.
“Well? Are you going to say something?” she snapped.
His lips slowly curled into a slow smile and his eyes met hers with a warmth that filled her soul. His voice was low and relaxed and held that special tone she’d only ever heard him use with her. “It took you long enough.”
“ Me ? It took me long enough?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll have you know?—”
Chuckling, he swept her into his arms, silencing her with a long awaited kissed that told her that it was all going to be okay. There was nothing held back, nothing between them. As her body pressed to his, she knew that he loved her in the way she’d always wanted and that she’d finally claimed the man she’d always desired, but had never allowed herself to be free enough to take a chance on.
And now that she was, it was going to be amazing.
* The End *