Chapter 21
Helene had just about given up on returning to Breaghacraig. She’d watched Zeke try every day for the past several weeks to contact Edna and she’d tried as well. As much as she wanted to go back home, she was becoming resigned to the fact that it was most likely never going to happen.
“I’m heading off to the studio. Sara’s coming over in a little while. You two have fun today.” Zeke grabbed his jacket and headed for the door with barely a glance in her direction.
“What time will you be back?” Helene asked.
“Not ‘til much later. You’ll probably be sound asleep by the time I get back. I’ve got a lot to do today. We’re preparing for a competition, so I’ve got classes going all day and into the night.” He left, closing the door in her face.
Zeke had been noticeably trying to avoid her.
He spent more and more time at the studio and less and less time with her.
He had made his feelings known to her and had accepted the fact that she still loved Dougall.
He was always a gentleman with her and he treated her with such kindness and respect.
In truth, she felt quite guilty that she didn’t feel the same way for him.
She was holding out hope that someday she would find Dougall again, but perhaps she should consider giving Zeke a chance.
She couldn’t right now, but maybe given some time she could love him.
He was sweet, handsome, a hard worker. He had many qualities she found admirable, but she somehow found herself always comparing him to Dougall.
Helene heard a key in the lock and assumed it was Zeke returning. He’d probably forgotten something. She should really say something to him, but when the door opened it was Sara.
“Hey. You ready to go out?” Sara’s bright and cheery persona beamed at her.
“Nae yet.” Helene sank into the nearest chair and held back the tears that threatened to spill.
“What’s wrong? Did Zeke do something?” Sara asked.
“Nae. Zeke did nothing.” Helene gazed at Sara who had seated herself opposite her and was leaning forward with a concerned expression on her face.
“I guess that’s the problem. He did nothing.
I don’t think he wants to be around me. He leaves the house verra early every morning and he comes back when I’m in bed.
I don’t know what to do. This is his house but he hardly spends any time here and ’tis me fault. ”
“Wow. I had no idea. You do know how he feels about you right?”
“Aye.”
“You don’t feel the same?”
“I wish I did.”
“Hmmm…”
“He’s such a good man. Any woman would be happy to be with him. What’s wrong with me? Why cannae I let the past go and start over?”
“You’re not ready yet. That’s all. There’s nothing wrong with you. Believe me.”
“Thank ye, Sara. Yer always so kind to me.”
“You’re my friend. I know Zeke pretty well. He is my brother, you know.” She giggled and so did Helene. “I’m sure he’s just giving you your space so you can get over Dougall. He doesn’t want you to feel pressured into having a relationship with him.”
“I dinnae wish to hurt him the way I did Dougall.”
“Helene, you would never purposefully do anything to hurt anyone. That’s just not you. And that’s why Dougall and Zeke love you. You have a sweet, sweet soul. I wish I could be more like you.”
“You remind me so much of me friends, Ashley and Jenna. I would like to be more like ye. I want to be strong and to speak me mind, like ye.”
“That gets me into trouble sometimes. Like with Logan, for example. I would have liked him to stay so I could get to know him better. Or I wish he had at least asked me to go back with him, but he didn’t.
I think I scared him away.” She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.
“I don’t know. I guess I just don’t have luck with guys from any century. ”
Helene couldn’t help but smile at her friend. Sara was a beautiful young woman, but as Helene had come to find out, the men of this time were not always interested in long term commitment.
“Let’s go have some fun instead of sitting around here feeling sorry for ourselves.” Sara stood and taking Helene by the hand pulled her up from her seat.
“Shouldn’t we go help Zeke at the studio?” Helene asked.
“No. Absolutely not! I’m working at the studio later and he doesn’t need your help right now either. He’s got Wade there with him.”
“What will we do then?”
“I’m going to take you on a sightseeing tour of the city. You know where the stores are and you know how to take the bus, but you haven’t seen some of the things that make San Francisco such a beautiful city, so today’s the day!” Sara grabbed her purse and headed for the door.
Helene was happy to follow her.
“You’re off then?” Paddraig Macrae asked. He stood in the courtyard with Fingall, Greer and Gillian.
“Aye, Da. I’ll be back from time to time.”
“Well, I hope so. Ye were gone far too long this last time.”
Dougall looked at his father differently now. All those years of feeling unloved and unworthy had melted away and now he thought he’d truly miss him.
Paddraig gathered him into a hug and whispered only loud enough for Dougall to hear. “Ye give the lairdship some thought, will ye?”
“I will, but as ye’ve noted, Fingall would make a fine laird.” He quietly answered. It was a secret kept between himself and his Da.
“Aye. I’d rather it be ye, but if ye decide against it, then Fingall ’twill be.” He continued hugging his son. “Dougall, if ye see that lassie, Helene, please give her me apologies.”
“I will, Da, but I doubt I’ll ever see her again.”
“I’m sorry, lad. I shouldnae have interfered. Don’t let me stop ye from finding her and making things right.”
Dougall didn’t wish to explain to his father about time traveling to the future. He’d think him a daft idjit. There was no point in telling him anyway. It wouldn’t change things with Helene. “Goodbye, Da.”
“Logan, take care of me boy.”
“Yes, sir.”
They mounted their horses, waved goodbye and began their journey back to Breaghacraig. They’d take a different route this time as Dougall didn’t wish to pass the spot where he’d made Helene his for the first time. He simply couldn’t bear it.
Alone again and a cup of tea in hand, Helene sat curled up on the sofa, staring into the fire blazing in the hearth.
Zeke’s cat Milly purred softly, nestling into the soft blanket covering Helene’s legs.
It was a chilly night in San Francisco despite the fact it was almost mid-June.
Mentally she had drifted off to Breaghacraig and the first time she’d really noticed Dougall.
Helene had a secret spot she would go to on the castle wall that looked down on the practice field.
There she observed the warriors of Breaghacraig as they engaged each other in mock battle.
She didn’t know why she hadn’t noticed him before, because this particular day he stood out so completely she hardly noticed anyone else on the field.
His long, curly blonde locks cascaded across his bare shoulders, causing an unexpected reaction in Helene’s stomach.
Butterflies, hummingbirds and dragonflies all beat their wings at a frantic pace and she found herself gripping the stones atop the battlement to steady herself.
From that moment onward, she was acutely aware of Dougall MacRae, although he didn’t seem to notice her at all.
A soft smile curled her lips at the memory, followed by a sadness for what should have been.
A silent tear coursed down her cheek and plopped into her cup of tea.
The fire began to pop and spark, startling Helene from her reverie.
“Helene!”
Did someone call her name?
“Helene, ’tis I, Edna Campbell.”
She stiffened, afraid to move. Milly didn’t seem at all concerned as she snored softly from her spot in the blankets.
“Are ye nae going to answer me?” the voice said, sounding somewhat perturbed.
She hesitated, but if this was truly Edna Campbell, then Helene needed to speak with her.
“Aye. Edna?”
“Helene, I’m speaking to ye from far away. I ken ye dinnae understand how I’m doing this, but ye ken I’m a witch, aye?”
“A witch.” Helene muttered.
“Come, lass. Ye must have more to say than that.”
“Why did ye make me come here?”
“Ah, at last. I didnae make ye go there. Well, I guess I did, but in me defense ye had no food and were in a terrible state. I couldnae fix it for ye from here, so I sent ye to San Francisco where I knew Zeke would be more than happy to help ye.”
“Aye, but he’s fallen in love with me and I cannae return his feelings.”
“Well of course ye cannae. He’s not meant to be with ye, so dinnae fret over his happiness. It will come.”
“If I’m nae meant to be with Zeke, then who?”
“Dougall MacRae.”
Helene’s heart skipped a beat. “He’s nae here with me. He left without me. I dinnae believe he really wishes to be with me.”
“He does. Verra much so.”
“Then why didnae he stay here and wait fer me. Why did he leave me alone with his father back at Castle Treun?”
“There were things you both needed to learn. Dougall never left ye with the intention of not returning fer ye. And when he left ye here in San Francisco, it was only because ye didnae appear at the appointed time. It was time to return to the past and the fog doesnae wait fer anyone. He believes ye no longer wish to be with him and he is doing his best to get on with his life.”
Helene silently listened to Edna. Had she overreacted to everything?
Her parents’ deaths had affected her deeply and over the years, Helene held on tightly to the people she loved, never wanting them to leave, afraid they wouldn’t return.
Had she done that with Dougall? When he didn’t return right away she felt betrayed.
When he left without her that morning many weeks ago, it was the same.
“I’m afraid, Edna. I’m afraid to give me heart to him again. What would I do if he left and never came back? I couldnae bear it.”
“I understand, Helene. If ye protect yer heart too much, then ye’ll miss out on some of the wonderful joys in this life.
Ye’ve come a long way since ye’ve been with Zeke and Sara.
Ye’ve learned to be yer own woman and that, me dear, is an important thing.
Ye now know that if ye do find yerself alone, ye can do it.
Ye can do anything ye put yer mind to. ’Tis an important lesson to learn. ”
“But will I ever be able to go back home.”
“All in good time, dear.”
“And what of Dougall?”
“He has learned some important lessons as well.”
“But, will I see him again?”
“I must go now, Helene.”
“Edna, what of Dougall?” Helene waited for an answer, but the sparking in the fireplace subsided and the overall feeling in the room changed. Edna was gone.
The cat purred contentedly by her side. A spark of hope now burned in Helene. She softly petted Milly, who rolled onto her back. Helene smiled. The cat was always willing to accept the adoration she’d come to expect from the humans in her life.
Helene rose and got a sweater and her keys.
She left the house, locking the door behind her and walked down to the Marina Green.
There she found a bench and sat contemplating what this had all meant.
Edna said she’d learned and grown, and so had Dougall.
Helene had believed they were perfect for each other, but when she really thought about it, they had been living a fairytale.
Everything had gone their way from the beginning and once they hit a bump in the road, neither one of them knew how to recover from it. Now perhaps they could.