21. Scarlet
Chapter 21
Scarlet
It’s 8:00 p.m. by the time I shut down my work computer. I can tell myself I was just trying to get some extra work done, but I know that’s a bold-faced lie.
My run-in with my ex shook me up. Between him and Liam, that’s two men in the last week who decided to take their shot at my family’s spot in the Order of Saints.
I can’t be positive that was Jeremy’s intention, but considering I’d previously gone on one date with him, I feel comfortable making that assumption. What was his plan anyway? It’s not like I would go with him freely. There’s always the chance he planned on killing me. Definitely the messier route in all ways. First because of the actual pain of hiding my murder, and second, because it’s not a sure way to get my spot. It just opens it for everyone.
Which makes me think he was going to try to force me to marry him.
A tiny part of me wishes Oliver had gotten there a few seconds later, just so I could’ve seen Jeremy’s snot-covered face as I soaked him with pepper spray. From that distance, he’d be crying for a week.
The other part of me knows that underneath my pride, I’m barely holding it together. I put on the brave mask I’ve worn my whole life and pushed through it, but it’s not real. If there was anyone close to me, they’d see I’m fraying at the seams. It’s like every day, another string gets pulled, unraveling my life, and I’ve been left scrambling to grasp the pieces.
Being alone is something I’m used to. It’s as much of a survival instinct as it is a habit, but there are times like tonight that I wish I had someone. Someone who knows that I’m really not as fine as I’m pretending to be.
Deep brown eyes with gold-rimmed pupils flash in my mind, and I push down the thought.
Oliver: Rides here.
I grab my coat from the back of my office chair and lock the door behind me. All I want is to get home, take a bath, and pass out. That’s not too much for a girl to ask for, right?
Maybe I’ll have Oliver take me to a drive-through. I think the chaos of today calls for something extra greasy.
I approach the exit door, swiping my pass to open it, and I’m met with the rushing sound of rain, so thick I can barely make out the outline of a car parked a few feet away. I step out under the small overhang, and a wet chill seeps into my bones, causing my entire body to shiver.
I knew it was raining, but at some point between leaving my office and arriving down here, it’s gone from a drizzle to a monsoon. I close my eyes, tipping my head back, and tighten my grip on my jacket. No part of me wants to wait it out, which means I’m going to have to make a run for it.
I trail my fingers through the curtain of water in front of me, its weight pushing my hand down. This is going to suck. I secure my purse over my shoulder, give myself a pep talk, and push off my heels, but instead of being drenched, I slam head-first into what feels like an immovable wall.
“I’ve been waiting for you, Little Sparrow.” Matthias’s low, gravelly voice tickles my ear, his mouth so close it brushes the skin. A shiver rolls through me that has nothing to do with the cold, damp air. He’s so warm I can’t stop myself from curling into him, all rational thought disappearing as he wraps one arm around my back, pulling me closer.
We’re standing under a giant black umbrella, rain droplets tumbling down the sides, blocking out the noise around us and encircling us in our own private space.
The wall I’d painstakingly built around myself today crumbles brick by brick as his warm breath puffs out against my neck. I don’t want to speak; I don’t want to break whatever small truce we have right now, where I can pretend he’s just a normal guy I like and we don’t have a decade’s worth of history.
I stiffen. Maybe for him, we don’t. Maybe the time we spent in my family’s castle meant nothing to him, when those small moments of peace meant absolutely everything to me.
“Hey. Where did your mind go?” he says softly, his chest rumbling against mine. “Come back.”
The ache forming in my chest is the exact reason I need to break apart from him.
“Where’s Oliver?” I take a deep breath and straighten my shoulders, pulling away from him. My teeth chatter as his heat leaves me.
“He couldn’t make it.”
I look Matthias over and have to stop myself from curling back into him. He’s wearing a dark hoodie that looks like it would engulf me whole and freaking gray sweatpants. Why is it that a man who spends his days in suits and looks like he can kill you at any second can also show up looking like the warmest, safest place on the planet?
“W…why would he c…call you?” My words come out choppy. I’m shivering so bad.
“Come here.” Ignoring my attempts to keep distance between us, he pulls me to his side, clamping me in place with his arm wrapped around my hip. The heat of his front pressed to my side warms me immediately. He dips his mouth close to my ear.
“Let me take you home,” he murmurs.
I force myself to pull back again, not liking how much control he has over me. “I just want to go home.” Before he can say anything, I add, “To my house.”
His brows pull together as if he’s trying to figure out how I knew to clarify, but his intentions were written all over his face.
Long, thick fingers curl around my arm as he tugs me with him toward his SUV. He opens the door for me, careful to keep the umbrella covering us. “Get in.”
“You don’t have to be pushy,” I say, getting into the passenger seat. The second the door closes, I’m wrapped in warmth. Hot air is pouring out of my vents at full blast, and the seat underneath me has been pre-warmed, like Matthias knew I’d be a popsicle by the time I got in here. Even with the umbrella, it was inevitable to get wet, but at least I’m not soaked through. I rub my hands together, trying to get some feeling back into them when he climbs into the driver’s side, tossing the umbrella into the back.
His entire body bristles as a shudder rolls through him, and it’s so adorable I can’t look away. He’s such a big guy it’s easy to believe he’s impervious.
“How long were you waiting out there?” I ask.
“Few minutes.” He glances at his rearview mirror, giving me the distinct impression he’s avoiding eye contact.
My fingers wrap around his without a thought, and they’re like ice. “Exactly how many minutes?”
“You worrying about me, Scarlet?”
His head’s tipped forward, so his hair falls into his eyes. It’s not fair how hot he is when I must look exhausted.
I yank my hand back and frantically wipe under my eyes, trying to remove the inevitable dark smudges. He covers my hands, lowering them so he can do it instead. It’s so shockingly sweet that I lean into his touch without a thought.
His thumb sweeps up to my temple, catching a wet strand and tucking it behind my ear. “You’re so fucking cute right now.”
Rain covers the windows, making it impossible to look out while the drumming sound blocks out the world. I swallow hard, my fingers gripping the center console, my mind whirling so fast I can’t make out my thoughts. He shifts closer, taking up the space between us, his mouth descending toward mine, and I don’t think I can stop him from kissing me. I don’t think I want to.
I suck in a breath, closing my eyes, but the touch of his mouth never comes. Instead, he reaches around me, pulling my seat belt across my chest and buckling me in place. “Safety first.”
I groan low in my throat, my fingers curling in a mix of embarrassment and frustration.
“Just go.” I lean forward and turn on the music, surprised to hear my favorite song. I let it drown out any possible conversation and turn my face toward the window.
Matthias doesn’t push me any further, as if sensing I’m at the end of my rope, and flips on the windshield wipers before pulling out into the dark street. The reflection from the streetlights makes the road practically glow as we make our way through the city. I curl to the side, putting as much distance as possible between us, trying to escape whatever insanity just took over me.
Matthias hand slides down my thigh, ending just above my knee, where his fingers wrap from one side to the other. His thumb sweeps back and forth in slow strokes that have all my thoughts evaporating and every molecule of my being focused on the way his touch sends electricity between my thighs. I’d be naive to believe he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing to me, but the slight pink flush in his cheeks is what stops me from doing anything.
It’s like time morphs sucking up the time it takes to pull up to my place. Matthias puts the car in park and grabs my arm when I go to step out. The rain’s slowed to a trickle, and I’m sure I can make it inside without too much damage.
His fingers squeeze. “Just wait. I’ll go in first.”
“Fine.” It’s not like I don’t do this with Oliver each time we come home. It just somehow feels more...intimate? with Matthias.
He gets out, rounding the car before opening the door. Raindrops collect together on his cheeks as he waits for me to snap out of it.
Shit. I need to get away from him fast.
I get out, rushing to my door, but freeze when putting in my code. My heart kicks up, sending my pulse rushing in my ears. The glass is cracked in a spiderweb pattern, focused on an impact spot and traveling up the pane.
“What the hell is that?” Matthias pushes me behind his back, creating a barrier between me and the door.
“It’s...it’s probably nothing. Not the first time someone tried to break into a house on this row.” There was definitely the appeal of a large payoff since everyone knew these homes were for the rich. Maybe I should move into Misty’s apartment building instead?
“Wait here. I’ll sweep your place.”
“They didn’t get in.” I fist the back of his shirt and try to stop him.
His entire body stiffens, and a low rumble forms in his chest. It’s so primal my body can’t help but respond to him, heat flooding to my core. I’m unsteady on my feet when I let go.
“Okay, just make it quick. It’s been a long day.”
He huffs out a breath and tips his head back in exasperation before shaking it and entering my place. I follow after him, cautious to stay near the door.
“Just like I said. Nothing is wrong.” I hide my trembling hands behind me as I prop myself against the wall and wait for him to do his thing. The exhaustion from the day is settling in. I don’t think I can handle another minute of pretending like everything is okay when not a single thing has gone right today.
Matthias comes down the stairs, looking a little less like he’s about to kill someone, but I wouldn’t call him calm. “It’s clear.”
“Happy now?”
“No.” He approaches me, eating the distance in a few strides. “Let’s go.”
“What?” I step out of his reach.
“You’re coming with me. You can’t stay here,” he commands like I have no other option.
“Matthias, it’s fine.” I take another step away. Yes, I’m freaked-out, but this isn’t anything I can’t handle.
“Staying is not an option.” He goes to lunge for me, but I’m faster, pulling out my gun and pointing it directly at his chest. He stills, a slow smile curling his lips.
He doesn’t stop coming toward me as he says, “You’re really doing this right now?”
I click off the safety, the click filling the space between us. “I said I’m fine. I’m more than capable of taking care of myself, so just go.”
The muscle in his cheek flexes as he grinds his teeth together, his fists opening and closing with each passing second.
“Why do you have to be so stubborn, Scarlet?”
My aim doesn’t waver. My stubbornness is the only thing holding me together, and I’ll be damned before I fall apart in front of him. “I’m all grown up, Matthias. I don’t need to be coddled.”
He tips his head back, taking a deep breath in before meeting my gaze. “You’re being an idiot right now.”
I smirk. “That’s my choice to make. As you can see”—I move the gun an inch higher—“I’m more than capable of handling myself.”
He runs his hands through his wet hair, water spraying with the force. “You win, Little Sparrow.”
“Please...please just go.”
His gaze softens, a sadness taking over, but he just turns and walks out.
“So fucking stubborn.” He drops his hands. “Lock the door.”
I lock it behind him and kick off my heels. My feet ache from a long day, and a sigh of relief escapes me as I flatten them on the floor. I just want to wash today away and pretend like it never happened.
I pour a glass of wine and head up to my room, going directly into the bathroom, where I fill the tub with steaming hot water. I make sure my gun’s placed within reach before stripping out of my wet clothes, the fabric clinging to my skin, and climbing in.
Heat envelops me, and I can finally relax. I needed this.
I push back the thought that I really should’ve gone with Matthias.
If I’d gone with him, I wouldn’t have been able to control my heart.
I deserve better than some guy who only cares about me when he wants to.
I want to be someone’s everything.