34. Scarlet
Chapter 34
Scarlet
The front door opens, and the smell of roasted chicken hits my nose before I spot Matthias. His hair is wet, pushed back from his face, and his brows are pulled low, giving him a sleepy look that doesn’t belong. His attention lands on me, and all signs of wariness vanish without a trace, leaving behind his piercing stare.
“Waiting for me, Little Sparrow?” He steps closer, and I take a step back in a dance we’re both familiar with.
“Hardly.” My breath hitches when the tips of his shoes brush the tips of my toes. There are dark circles under his eyes, and I don’t know why I care, but I can’t help myself from asking, “Tough night?”
“Nothing to worry about.” He tilts his head to the side, scanning me before stepping back and placing the food on the kitchen counter. My mouth waters when he places mashed potatoes and a box of chocolates next to the chicken. He fills two plates with food without asking me what I want.
“I’m not hungry,” I say.
He laughs. “You’re a terrible liar. The guards said you haven’t been eating properly.”
My eyes dash to the window, and I glare at the guard. I take it back—I don’t feel bad for him at all. Tattletale . Thank God he didn’t catch me earlier; he’d have definitely told Matthias.
“What are you looking at?” Matthias’s voice is rough, a darkness filling it he doesn’t normally use on me.
“Huh?” I look at him, then back at the guard. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”
A thrill starts to climb up my spine at the thought of this man being upset about me just looking through his window. A glimmer of an idea filters through on just how fun it would be to press Matthias’s buttons. What the hell is wrong with me? Matthias is a sea of red flags, and I don’t have a boat.
He glares at the unknowing guard. “My patience is completely worn-out tonight, Little Sparrow. I dare you to test me.”
“You should have thought of that before you went and locked me up here.” I stand firm.
He sets the plates down on the kitchen table, then turns, lifting one brow.
“Eat.”
I fold my arms in front of my chest, not budging. “I said I’m. Not. Hungry.”
“I’m not joking.” His gaze turns pitch-black as he stalks toward me, forcing me backward.
“I don’t want to eat with you .” I grip the glass of water from the counter and toss it at his face milliseconds before he can get a hold of me.
He stands there, water trailing down his chin and falling to the floor, blinking at me, mouth half-open before he laughs. He wipes his hand over his face, shoulders loosening as his entire body shakes, and his laughter fills the space between us. He looks so young and happy, something I haven’t seen in such a long time. Not since before my family captured him and his brothers.
He and Damon used to laugh like this when they were up to no good, constantly causing trouble at whatever events they attended. Warmth fills my chest seeing him like this now.
I twist my lips against my own smile. “Like I said. I don’t want to eat with you.”
It takes a second, and then he gives me a cocky grin. “There’s the fire I love.”
I’m still stuck on the word love as he lifts his shirt over his head, wiping his neck and face, leaving him in nothing but his black pants, clinging low on his hip bones. Dammit, he’s so broad I can’t look away from his tanned chest, the way his muscles form peaks and valleys. Matthias flexes under my gaze, and I snap back into reality.
“It’s funny you think you have a choice.” He lunges forward, catching me by my waist, and hauls me up.
“Put me down!” I try to shift my weight and gain purchase to throw him off-balance. My fists clench, and I grunt when he easily evades all my attempts to make him put me down.
“Anything you want.” He seats himself at the table with me on his lap. His hot, bare skin presses against my side, warming me through my sweater.
“Are you out of your mind?!” I yell, trying to squirm my way off his lap.
He grunts. I can feel him getting hard beneath me, and his lips skim my ear. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
I freeze, core throbbing as he presses harder against me. I’m panting, trying to regain my breath, when he lifts a piece of chocolate to my mouth.
“Come on, take a bite.”
My stomach growls in response, and he chuckles, the vibration traveling through my back.
I’ve lost it because I lean in, taking the morsel from his fingers with my teeth. I close my eyes, humming as the sweet taste melts on my tongue.
Matthias runs his thumb over my lip. “See what happens when you stop being so stubborn?”
I’d kill him right now if I wasn’t so hungry.
Instead, I sit with him, back stiff as he feeds me my dinner piece by piece.
My eyes feel heavy as exhaustion takes over me, and I find myself slowly relaxing into his chest until his arms cradle me.
“Let’s go to bed.” He kisses me behind my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.
My chest squeezes, almost regretting what’s about to happen next, but I can’t turn back now.
Matthias lifts us both from the chair, carrying me to our room. I can’t stop myself from breathing him in and filling my lungs with his scent. This will be the last time he holds me like this, and I want it to last longer. Bile rises into the back of my throat when he gently lowers me to the bed, leaning in closer, eyes searching mine.
“What are you up to, Scarlet?”
My heart comes to a dead stop before slamming into my ribs, knocking the wind out of me. “Just get out.”
Matthias cants his head to the side, observing me. “Okay…I’m going to wash up.”
“Not in here!” I call after him, standing as if to grab his arm. He’s been using the bathroom down the hall, and I hadn’t calculated for this.
He smirks down at where my fingers brush his bicep and grins. “Did you want to come with me?”
I choke out a breath, biting the corner of my lip. There’s something about his smile that makes me want to lift onto my toes and press my mouth to his. I need to play this perfectly, and kissing him is not a part of the plan. At least not yet.
“Just clean up after yourself,” I scoff.
“I always do.” He has an unnatural ability to make everything sound dirty.
The second the door to the bathroom clicks shut behind him, I head straight to the dresser. I purposely chose this drawer because it houses my pajamas, but that doesn’t stop the rhythm of my heart from racing. It’s like I just walked off a building, and my body hasn’t figured out I have a parachute yet.
I bring my clothes to the bed, and under the cover of my sleep shirt, I slide the blade between the mattress and the frame, pushing it backward until it’s hidden by the dresser.
I’m so amazed that I pulled it off that I nearly jump out of my skin when Matthias walks out, toothbrush in hand. His eyes are sharp as they scan me. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up at his appraisal as I try to keep my anxiety from my face, using the best tool I have.
I hold my shirt up, covering my not-bare chest. “Get out. I’m changing.”
The suspicious eyes turn dark, toothbrush pausing mid-stroke.
“I said get out!” I yell.
“You have thirty seconds to get your ass into bed.” He turns and heads into the bathroom, and I catch a peek at his broad back as the door closes.
Why does he have to be so freaking hot? It’s unholy.
I rip my shirt off, replacing it rapidly, and do the same with my skirt. My sleep shorts are tighter than I’d normally wear. I internally groan, knowing getting the wrong size is likely intentional on his part.
I tuck the blanket up to my ears, pinching my eyes closed and counting in my head. I can do this. I just need to distract him long enough to get the upper hand.
The bed indents with his weight, and I have to use a hand to stop myself from rolling into him.
“You’re not sleeping here, asshole.” I say it, but I’m counting on this happening. Matthias is easy to read, and the chances of him sleeping anywhere else are slim to none.
He hums, mouth close to my nape. “Why not? This is my bed?”
“Listen—”
Matthias covers my mouth with one hand, turns me to face him, and presses his forehead against mine. “I’ve already given up too many nights without you.”
His words are sweet enough to kill. They make me want things I can’t have. I need to do this now, or I’ll never find the nerve again. I wrap my fingers around the knife and twist so my mouth presses against his. He doesn’t open immediately; instead, his eyes stay hot on mine. Come on. Close your eyes.
I run my tongue along the seam of his lips, and it’s like a band snaps in him. His mouth opens to take over the kiss. He tastes like mint toothpaste, and I let the sensation fill me for one more second before raising my hand.
Matthias freezes the moment the cool tip of the blade touches his throat. I’ve positioned myself so I’m lifted on my left elbow and my knife in my right hand, the edge grazing his skin.
“You are going to let me go, Matthias, or I’m going to slit your throat.” I pray that he doesn’t hear the tremble in my voice. The way that my mind screams at me to drop the knife. I’m not going to kill him, but a hard hit to the temple with the handle will at least knock him out. Then, I can threaten the guards with killing his unconscious body. The chances of me getting away are next to nothing. I have to get past the guards, dig out my tracker, and I’m not sure there’s anywhere I can go that he can’t find me, but I can’t just sit here and let this happen. I’m never going to allow myself to be someone’s captive again.
The asshole smirks at me, his grin growing until it’s a full smile. He grips my hand, but instead of pulling away, he digs the blade in deeper.
Shit. I jerk, but he holds me in place.
“Go ahead, Little Sparrow. I’ll die a happy man.”
Blood drips down from the cut as he pushes it deeper. Tears sting the back of my eyes. This isn’t what I wanted. “Please, let me go.”
“I don’t think so.” He grips my wrist hard enough to hurt and reaches over to his nightstand. His arms are so long he doesn’t have to move his torso as he grabs his phone, turning on the camera so he can see what he’s doing.
“What…what are you doing?” I can’t breathe as he slides his hold upward to cup my fingers in his, then slowly manipulates the blade to cut an S inches below his neck.
I gasp. “What the hell are you doing?”
“You seem to be confused about what’s happening here. I’m just showing you how permanent you are.”
“By what? Carving my name?” I ask, eyes wide.
“Exactly. Now, don’t move around too much. Wouldn’t want to fuck this up.” He’s watching through his phone as he carves the C into his skin.
“You are out of your freaking mind!” There’s something wrong with me because my core aches to be touched. I rub my wet thighs together, fighting the urge to climb on top of him.
“Help me out before I mess up the A .” The knife slides, and I stop it before he can permanently write it backward.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I take a deep breath when he lets go of my hand, tilting his head up, giving me full access to his neck. He’s so vulnerable to me, in the exact position I needed him in earlier, but this time, I can feel his gaze branding me. I should slice his thick neck—I should do so many other things, but my hand moves on its own, meticulously carving each letter. The tail of my name follows the path beneath his collarbone.
He watches me, hot breaths brushing my skin, but doesn’t so much as flinch as I finish my name. There’s a twisted sense of satisfaction when I look at the raw letters, blood trickling from them.
He holds his phone up, examining my work. “So much better than your stitches.”
His laugh is contagious, and I press the knife to his throat. “I can still kill you.”
Strong hands cup my ass and shift me until his thigh is pushing between mine.
“You can kill me tomorrow,” he says, then takes my mouth.
I drop the blade, pushing it off the bed before burying my fingers into his hair and forcing him closer. He moans in the back of his throat, flipping me beneath him. I gasp as his hand travels up my side and cups my bare breast. He sucks my nipple into his mouth, rolling his tongue over the tip before biting. I scream, fingers tugging at his hair as the pain mixes with pleasure. I’m way over my head with this man, and he knows it.
He pushes my shirt higher, then attacks my other breast, teeth scraping the delicate skin as his fingers pinch and pull my other nipple. It feels like a punishment, one that I don’t want to stop. I’m gasping for breath, back arched, mouth wide as he makes his way down my stomach and presses his mouth to my core, blowing hot air. I’m shaking by the time he pulls my shorts off, discarding my underwear with them.
“Beg for it,” he says, mouth grazing my clit.
I shake my head no, and he licks me from back to front.
I moan, scrambling for more when he removes his mouth. “Beg for it.”
“No,” I grit through my teeth. I can’t. Not even when my entire body fights against me, wanting nothing more than his touch. But I can’t. Not after everything. Tears pool in my lashes. I thought there was something truly special between us back when we were kids. Forged in our shared trauma, but he brushed it away like it was nothing. Broke my heart like I meant nothing to him. He’d said I was just a Laurent, putting me in the same bucket as my father and brother. Nothing has ever hurt as much as those words he’d spit out at me all those years ago.
“I still hate you,” I say, fingers digging into the blanket. I wish I was telling the truth. The truth is I’ve never hated him, not for a second we were together or the ten years we’ve been apart.
He kisses my thigh, and it’s softer than I expect. “I know. I just don’t care.”
I look down at him, his dark eyes already on me.
“I won’t make you ask for it.” He nuzzles his nose against my clit. “Tell me no and I’ll stop.”
“That’s not fair. You’re playing dirty.”
He lifts my leg and kisses the side of my knee, eyes meeting mine, but I can’t make the words come out to tell him to stop. His mouth moves lower, driving me crazy.
I want this. Need this. And he’s making it possible for me to pretend that I don’t. Letting me claim I didn’t ask for it. That it’s all him initiating when we both know that’s a lie. I bite back a moan as he runs his tongue along my thigh. Each of his kisses moves closer to my core. By the time he gets to my apex, I’m shaking and can’t stop myself from gripping his hair, pulling him closer. He chuckles under his breath and pushes my legs wider, licking the crease between my core and thigh.
So close, so close.
Tears of need fall down my cheeks as he licks me again. “Hmm? Did you say something?”
My back arches painfully, and I’m barely able to support myself. Matthias wraps his arm around my back, catching my weight and holding me in place so I’m able to rest against him.
He places a featherlight kiss over my clit. His breath is warm when he says, “Last chance to say no.”
I couldn’t say no if I wanted to. I can’t even breathe.
He waits a second before groaning and burying his face into my pussy. He runs his tongue from back to front until I’m grinding against his face, needing more. I feel hollow, needy in a way I don’t understand.
Matthias nips my thigh, then pushes a finger into me. I cry as he rocks it back and forth.
His head drops to my stomach. “You’re so tight.”
“W…what?” I’m trying to comprehend when he cuts off all my ability to think by sinking another finger into me. He rocks them back and forth, pressing upward with each stroke, hitting a spot I’ve never discovered on my own. I’m crying, one hand gripping the sheets above me, the other shoving his face into my clit until he sucks harder. It’s like time splits into a million pieces, no longer a part of reality when my orgasm crashes over me in wave after wave. It feels like it’s never going to end.
I flinch, my clit too sensitive when he tries to lick it again.
He raises unto his elbows, face directly above mine. “Good?”
I don’t bother opening my eyes. “You know the answer to that, asshole.”
He kisses my neck, hot air brushing my ear. “I want to hear you say it.”
His tongue licks the curve of my collar bone, and my eyes roll back in my head. “It was good. So good.”
“Good girl.” He kisses my temple, pulls off his boxers, then rests back so he’s kneeling, weight resting on his calves.
The way he’s looking at me has heat pooling between my thighs. There’s a tinge of fear there. I’ve never done this before. I swallow hard, preparing myself for what happens next. It’s only natural for this to lead to sex, and it’s not like I’m especially attached to my virginity. That doesn’t stop the nerves from crawling under my skin.
He fists his hard cock, and the tip weeps with precum, dripping down the sides. He’s so thick I don’t think my fingers could touch if I wrapped them around.
I swallow. Has he always been that big?
“Are we going to have sex?” I say, barely above a whisper. If he wasn’t so close, I doubt he would have heard me.
He moves forward, lifting my ass up to meet his cock. He runs it along my seam, coating it with my wetness.
I can’t breathe with anticipation as he slides his cock through the narrow gap between my thighs.
“Not while you still hate me.” He pushes forward, the friction causing me to moan.
“Tighten your legs,” he says, voice trembling. He’s as undone as I am.
“I can’t. They’re like Jell-O,” I answer honestly.
He wears a satisfied smile as he bands his arm around my thighs, squeezing them together. “That okay?”
“Yes.” I moan as the head of his cock glides over my clit.
“Fuck.” He thrusts forward, his cock pushing between my tight thighs like he’s fucking me. Each of his movements is more uncontrolled than the last. His tip hits my clit with each press of his hips until I can feel my orgasm growing.
“I’m…I’m going to come.” My voice cracks as pleasure builds within me.
“Me too.” He moves faster, head falling back as he chases his own orgasm. His body is shaking as he pounds harder. My release hits me seconds before his hot cum covers my stomach, filling my navel.
Matthias falls forward, kissing me, soft, warm lips on mine. “You feel unbelievable.”
Emotions swirl inside me, overwhelming my senses. I want to yell at him while begging him to hold me closer. It’s too much. It’s all too much.
As if sensing my distress, he gets up out of bed and grabs a wet cloth from the bathroom, wiping my stomach clean.
There’s blood dripping down his chest, but he doesn’t move to clean it.
“You need to do something about that, or it’ll get infected.”
He lifts a brow. “Worried about me now?”
Matthias kisses my forehead and gets off the bed, leaving me cold at the loss of his heat. “I’ll go. I’m sure you need space.”
I do. Of course I do. But why do I feel like crying as I watch him leave?