36. Matthias
Chapter 36
Matthias
I drop my head into my palms, digging my fingers into my hair. I nearly fucking lost her today. She was so close to disappearing from my life. The only thing saving my sanity is the video of her looking back at the house and the clear expression on her face. It may have taken ten years off my life, but knowing she’s the one who chose to stay, that I’m not forcing her to be here, soothes something deep in my soul I didn’t know was hurting. I’ve never wanted to be her cage.
I’m going to face whatever comes next head-on. No more secrets, no more half-truths. She needs to understand exactly what she means to me. I get out of the car and make my way into the house.
“You’re back,” Scarlet states from where she’s curled up on the couch. The sight knocks the wind out of me. She’s wearing one of my shirts, the collar exposing her shoulder while she tosses popcorn into her mouth. The sight is so domestic, like a glance into the possible future, that I lose my breath. I’d gladly get down on my knees if it meant coming home to this every day.
“You’re still here.”
She shifts on the sofa, tucking her feet beneath her, and her back straightens. “Explain what’s happening.”
I don’t bother to insult her by asking what she means. She’s right. I owe her answers. Her pulse is visible at her throat, the rhythm pounding at the same speed as mine. I’ve been waiting years to have this conversation, but that doesn’t mean I’m not terrified to lay my soul out.
I force myself to relax, leaning against the couch, and grab a handful of popcorn. Her brows pull low over her blue eyes, casting them in shadow as she takes in my relaxed posture.
There you go, Little Sparrow. Be mad at me. Be anything but indifferent.
I move the popcorn to the coffee table and move closer to her, hating the way she shifts back, maintaining the space between us.
“There hasn’t been a single day in the last ten years I haven’t wanted to be with you.” I search her face, reading every little change in her expression.
Her eyes go wide, light catching the corners, before she slams a mask down between us. “Don’t lie to me.”
I curse internally, needing her to believe me. “I’m not lying. I got blackout drunk just to stop demanding to know why you made that fucking wish. I hated the fact the only thing you asked for was within my power to give because I knew I could never deny you.”
She’s shaking her head no, a pretty pink flush crawling up her neck. “What you are saying doesn’t make sense. You never said a word to me from age fifteen until I went to college. You literally ran away from your house the two weeks I stayed there. You had plenty of opportunities to reach out, even after I went to college.”
“Because it fucking hurts to be near you and not be able to touch you.” I reach for her face, and this time, she lets me, round blue eyes on mine. I run my thumb along her cheekbone, and she leans into me. I take a deep breath and cut myself open. I drop my forehead to hers, breathing in each of her exhales. “You’re mad at me, but you could have come to me. I would have knelt for you even back then. I wouldn’t have been able to hold myself back if you did, but you didn’t because you knew you weren’t ready. Getting away from all of this bullshit isn’t something you could have done if you were with me. The best thing you ever did was move to California. You know you needed that. You know it was good for you.”
“I would’ve stayed with you.” Her voice cracks, and my heart aches with it.
“And you would’ve regretted it.” I swallow hard and run my nose along hers. “You are worth the wait. I’d have given you forever if you’d asked me to.”
Tears pool on her bottom lashes, and I pull her into my chest, basking in the way her fingers curl into my shirt, pulling me closer.
“I want to believe you,” she whispers, and I tighten my grip.
My fingers stroke her hair in slow, calming motions. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep showing you until you do.”
“You better,” she murmurs into my neck, and I cradle her face, angling her until she can see me.
“I love you, Scarlet. I’ve always loved you. I loved you enough to let you go.”
I push a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, gently grazing my fingers along her cheek. Scarlet’s head tips back, and she gazes at me through her lashes. It’s the way her cheeks flush to that perfect shade of pink, and her mouth opens slightly, like she’s welcoming my kiss. I let myself get lost counting her freckles, the way her dark lashes skim over her cheeks, the small lines that crease the corner of her eyes. The way her cupid’s bow arches perfectly into a plump pout. I run my thumb along her bottom lip and slide it down, opening her mouth further. I’ve been craving seeing the small changes in her face as we got older. The way one only can when they’re close like this. She barely moves, and her nose runs along mine, the sensation sending a shiver down my spine.
I cup her cheeks between my hands and kiss her forehead. “I’m going to fuck you now.”
She trembles in my arms, hot breaths washing over me. “I’ve…I’ve never done this before.”
“I know.” I lean in, opening my mouth above hers until we’re inhaling each other’s exhales. There’s a weight to the air around us, one that pushes me closer and has her rising into me. Our lips merge, and a groan forms in the back of my throat. We’ve kissed countless times, but there’s something completely different now that she knows how I feel. She’s warming in my arms, more accepting of my touch.
She’s lost all of her resistance she held onto for so long. I place kisses across her jaw and nip at her neck, marveling at the way she leans into me. The only noise in the room is the soft sounds of her panting. I suck on her delicate skin, marking her along the curve from her jaw to her collarbone, leaving my marks along the way. I want every person who goes near her to know that she belongs to someone. That she belongs to me.
Laying her flat against the sofa, I lift her shirt, bringing it to her mouth. “Bite.”
Her eyes widen, but she secures the fabric with her teeth. I growl and run my tongue between her breasts, kissing the hollow of her neck. “I could do this forever, tasting you like this.”
A shudder runs through her as a small hum forms at the back of her throat. I flatten my tongue along her nipple, swirling around it. The way her body responds, guiding my every move. She likes it when I run my thumb under her breast, then palm it gently. She moans whenever I suck her peak into my mouth.
I’m greedy and want to hear more.
I twist so my body’s between her thighs and trail my knuckle down her stomach, following closely with open-mouth kisses. She’s wearing a thin pair of black leggings, and I have to grip the cushion to stop myself from tearing them off her. I’ll wait—I can fuck her until she passes out, but tonight, all I want is to make her feel good, to make her want me the way I desperately want her.
Blue eyes meet mine, and she lifts her hips when I pull her pants off her, chucking them on the ground. She’s left in only my shirt, still held by her teeth, leaving her on display for me. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in my fucking life. She deserves to be worshiped. I have no problem getting down on my knees at her altar.
I flatten my tongue over her clit in an echo of what I did to her nipples. Swirling my tongue, listening as her moans get louder. I want so much more. I sink a finger into her core, groaning at the way she sucks me in, then add another, making room for myself. She’s shaking, fingers curling in my hair, begging me without words.
I scissor my fingers back and forth, slowly stretching her. My cock’s huge compared to her tight pussy, and I’m not skipping this step. I want her to come apart when I slide my cock into her for the first time, and she can’t do that if it hurts. I grip her ass, angling her better, and push a third finger into her. This time, she gasps.
I still, letting her adjust. “Breathe for me, Little Sparrow.”
Her eyes are slits when she lets go of the shirt and takes a deep breath.
“That’s it, baby. I’ve got you.” I love the way she listens to me, trusting me to lead her through this. I’m going to take such good care of her. When she relaxes, I start again, slowly increasing my speed until she’s rocking into my fingers, greedy noises coming from her.
My cock’s leaking, soaking my pants, but like hell I’m going to take her before she’s ready. I suck her clit between my teeth and curve my fingers, smiling when she screams out my name, body trembling as she comes on my tongue.
She collapses back, tears in her eyes as she looks at me with awe. It’s a sensation she needs to get used to because I’ve been waiting a decade to be able to pleasure her like this.
Her lids close, exhaustion taking over, and I lick up her neck, teeth grazing her chin. “Wake up, Scarlet. We’re nowhere near done yet.”
“Good.” She wraps her arms around my neck, circling my waist with her legs as I lift us, walking to our room.
This next part needs something better than a quick fuck on the couch. I’ll leave that for later.
I stand between her thighs, shivering as her fingers undo each button of my shirt. She kisses each new inch exposed as she slowly reveals my chest. A shiver trails down my spine when she kisses a line below her name etched into my skin.
She shifts down until her tongue flips over my nipple, drawing a low moan from my throat. “Do you like this?” she asks, blue eyes meeting mine hesitantly.
I could come just by the way she’s looking at me. “Fuck, I love anything you do to me.”
She bites her lips before sinking her teeth into my chest, forming perfect teeth marks around my nipple.
“I’m trying to be good,” I groan.
She licks the pain away and meets me with hooded eyes. “Be good later.”
My head falls back, every muscle in my body tensing. I nearly came just at her words. “You’re really going to be the death of me. You know that?”
She removes her shirt and grins. “I’ve had plenty of opportunities to kill you, but you’re still here.”
I drop my forehead to hers. “I think this time you will succeed.”
She nips my bottom lip, then moves back until she’s fully laid out on the bed. I groan, pushing my pants down and fisting my cock. She’s delicious laid out for me like a dessert I get to eat. She’s fucking mine now, and I’m going to savor every bite. I slide her legs up so they’re bent at the knee on either side of me. Placing a gentle kiss to the inner corner before I move over her, elbows resting on either side of her head, I nuzzle her neck and graze the shell of her ear.
“Are you okay?”
“I’d be more okay if you hurried up,” she huffs, using her feet to tug me closer. There’s fire in her eyes, which her family tried to douse, but it’s just a part of who she is. That doesn’t take away the way her body’s shaking, this time not in pleasure, and her teeth gnaw on her bottom lip.
I pull it from between her teeth and stare into her eyes, promising, “I’ll be gentle.”
She nods, fingers curling onto my shoulders as I reach down and slide my cock up and down her slit, getting her used to it.
“I’m going to push in now.” She’s so wet I’m completely coated as I notch my cock to her entrance.
She nods again, eyes squeezed shut as I slip the head in, stretching her around my cock.
I grunt—she’s holding me so tight it’s almost painful. I brush my fingers over her temple and lower myself so our noses meet. “You have to relax. Breathe with me.”
She follows each of my inhales and exhales until I can feel her relax around me. I lower so my lips brush hers. “Good girl.”
I take her lips as my cock slides into her. She winces when she’s taken half of me in, nails scratching my back.
Tears form in her eyes, and she clenches her teeth as I push in a little further.
“Does it hurt?”
She shakes her head no, but it’s written all over her face.
“You’re lying to me.” I slide my hand between us and draw circles over her clit with my thumb.
Her head falls back, jaw dropping open with my touch.
I kiss her jaw, loving how she responds to me. “Better?”
“Yes,” she rasps.
I grip her leg and thrust until she’s taken all of me, pausing for her reaction.
She’s panting, wide blue eyes on mine, and for the first time, I can see her love there.
I rock into her in controlled motions, giving her time to tell me to stop. Each time she takes me in, her pussy clenches around my cock.
I groan and kiss her until my lungs burn. “I’m not going to last long.”
She nips my bottom lip, digging her heels into my ass. “Harder.”
As if she released something wild inside me, I can’t stop my hips from bucking into her. Each of her moans drives me faster until I’ve lost my fucking mind. Her legs clamp around me, and I press harder against her clit.
“I’m close,” she cries.
“Me too.”
She runs her nose along mine. “Come with me, Matthias.”
That’s all it takes for me to spill into her, emptying myself and filling her pussy. It takes everything in me not to collapse. Instead, I roll onto my back, bringing her with me.
I stroke her hair, just taking in the elated aftermath of being inside my girl.
She’s touching the marks her teeth left around my nipple. “Sorry about this.”
“Don’t be. I liked it.” I guide her face to mine. “How about you? Are you okay?”
She smirks. “I’m fantastic.”
“It doesn’t hurt even though it was your first time?”
She laughs, a glint in her eye when she says, “Pretty sure my first time was with a pink toy.”
I cough, then catch my breath. “Do you have more toys?”
“I’m twenty-five and a virgin. What do you think?”
I grip her ass and slide my fingers between her thighs until they rest against her core. No matter what she says, I know she’s sore.
“You were a virgin. This pussy belongs to me now.”