Chapter 12
TWELVE
PHOENIX
Due to a traffic accident on the freeway, the journey took well over an hour, and my back and neck had started to ache. That didn’t surprise me, considering I felt so stiff in my seat, almost physically bracing myself for things to come.
Once I had pulled onto Maple Avenue, I felt a huge sense of relief, and my shoulders relaxed. In all honesty, during the drive over, I had considered turning around several times, but seeing my mother’s house again, I knew the window to change my mind had closed.
No turning back now. You are here for answers.
Yes, answers, but what then? I thought about what Harper had asked.
Did I want a relationship with my mother now, after what she had done?
Was that even possible? No, I wanted her to admit she was wrong for leaving me to my face.
To set the record straight somehow. Hate was such an exhausting, decaying emotion.
If I understood my mother’s reasoning for her actions, maybe I could at last forgive her?
I was a grudge bearer, but not when a grudge was starting to rot my insides.
I needed closure so I could move on with my life.
And the person I wanted to do that with was sitting by my side.
“It’s a pretty neighborhood,” Harper declared brightly in a soft, sweet voice.
God, I had missed that sound. I hadn’t heard it much since she’d lived with us.
And whilst I enjoyed winding her up and seeing her prickly side, it was a relief to know that the old Harper was still in there.
The girl who had been through unimaginable shit but still had the biggest heart and the purest soul.
Even without trying, she’d been good company in the car. Those things that remained unsaid still sat between us, but that bad atmosphere had lifted.
I glanced over at her cute profile as she looked out of the windshield at my mother’s street. The way her freckled, button nose was tilted into the air as she took in the view of our picture-perfect surroundings was encouraging.
Harper was transfixed on the lush, peaceful neighborhood.
Everything seemed so much more superior to where we lived with Ma.
The trees, which must have been the inspiration for the name of the street, seemed bigger and bushier, and the grass so much greener.
Even the sun seemed to sit higher in the sky.
As if reading my thoughts, Harper muttered, “Maple Avenue. It suits the street.”
I pulled the car beneath the Red Maple tree where I had parked several times before and cut the engine. Leaning back in my seat, I pointed to my mother’s house. Harper’s nostrils flared as her eyes took in the looming gates only yards away. “So, what now?”
“Now, I'll go get some answers.”
“Do you want me to come in with you or wait here?” It was a relief that Harper was on board and being supportive. I’d been on the phone with Hudson when she’d appeared on the porch, and it was the first time she had looked at me without threatening to off me with her bare hands.
I ran my fingers down my jeans. “I don’t know. I hadn’t thought that far,” I confessed.
Initially, I had only wanted Harper along for the ride, but as reality kicked in, I knew I couldn’t go in there alone. The thought of confronting my mother had started to grind down my usual I couldn’t give a shit attitude. I clearly needed backup, as it turned out, I did give a fuck that day.
Checking the time, I noted that we were early, but there was no way I would wait around and make myself more anxious. I just wanted it done.
I toyed with my answer to Harper’s question before I replied. “Would you come with?”
Twisting her shoulders towards me, Harper’s eyes locked on mine. “Of course, whatever you need.” Leaning over the console, she reassuringly squeezed my leg. “You can do this, Phoenix.”
The confidence in her tone gave me the push I needed. Twisting the key from the ignition, I motioned for her to sit back in her seat. “Stay there,” I instructed.
Harper’s brow furrowed, “I thought you wanted me to come with?”
“I do, just do as you’re told and stay put a second.
” My voice was firm as I knew that was the only tone that worked with this woman.
She put up a good fight, but she embraced her submissive side when it suited her.
That part had always called to my alpha, which was why I knew we’d be so compatible, once we’d cleared the air of past bullshit.
Pocketing the keys, I left the car and walked around to the passenger-side door. I could feel Harper’s eyes questioning my actions through the window.
Opening the door, I offered her my hand to assist her from the Jeep. For a moment, she peered down as if there was something on it. After a curl of my fingers, realisation spread across her face, and her eyebrows shot up into her hairline at my attempt to play the gentleman.
She placed her tiny hand in mine and grinned from ear to ear.
“Why, thank you, Mr. Carter,” Harper said with a chuckle as I assisted her from the cab of the Jeep.
Once her feet hit the sidewalk, I tugged her against my chest. “See, I can be a gentleman.”
“I never doubted that, Nix. I remember how you used to look after me.”
“You do?”
“Of course,” she replied, looking perplexed.
“I thought you only remembered the bad stuff.”
Harper shook her head slowly. “You were a sweetheart to me once. The boy I cared about is still in there.”
“Probably hiding behind the rutting beast?”
“Well, that too,” she smiled.
Her words gave me courage and strength, and I lowered my head and brushed my lips over hers.
The kiss was fleeting, but I knew she welcomed it; I could tell by how her eyes fluttered closed.
She tasted so sweet and the need to prolong the kiss charged through me, but I drew back, aware of why we were there.
“Thank you. I couldn’t have done this without you,” I whispered.
“You’re stronger than you think,” she replied.
We shared a longing look of silent understanding before I turned and led her along the sidewalk, tugging her by my side.
That couple of old ladies in their gym gear walked past us, huge grins on their faces as they took in what would look like a young couple enjoying the sunshine.
“Afternoon,” one of them said. Their expressions were very different from what they had been when I’d been sitting in the car scoping out my mother’s house like a stalker.
“Afternoon,” I replied with a polite head nod. Once they had passed us by, Harper cut me a glance with a knowing look. Maybe playing the nice guy wasn’t so bad if it got me those kinds of reactions.
As we walked, I enjoyed that feeling of holding Harper’s hand. I’d never been into that kind of shit before, but with her, it felt right. She was so tiny next to me, and the beast in me roared, mine!
It only took us a couple of minutes until we stood outside the huge, intimidating gates next to the intercom.
“Go for it,” Harper encouraged, lifting her chin to point at the doorbell.
My breath whistled between my clenched teeth as I pushed the button with a firm finger.
The speaker was slightly muffled, but the man on the other end sounded like he was expecting me, thank fuck.
When the gates slid back, Harper and I shared a look before making our way up the long driveway. More trees and flowers surrounded the grand-looking house. It was much smaller than the Summer’s residence, but it was still overwhelming.
As we got to the large glass-fronted doors, they immediately opened, and a man appeared.
He was dressed formally in black pants and a cream button-down.
He had gray hair but didn’t appear overly welcoming.
When he saw Harper, a crease appeared between his bushy eyebrows.
We let go of each other’s hands at the same time, my mouth suddenly dry.
Fuck. I didn’t know how to behave. Usually, that didn’t bother me, and I went with my gut.
But at that moment, my normal instincts were a jumble.
“Mr. Carter?” the man began, taking a step forward. His voice suggested he was older than he looked. Maybe that’s what working for rich people did? Aged the fuck out of you.
I nodded. “Yeah, that’s me.” I kept my voice polite-ish. I didn’t like the way he looked at Harper, like he found her lacking in some way.
I told my overprotective side to get a grip. He was probably surprised I’d brought someone with me. And then he confirmed that by saying, “I’m Clarkson. I work for Mr. and Mrs. Leibrock. My apologies, Mrs. Leibrock didn’t say you were bringing a friend.”
Before Harper could answer, I cut in. “This is Harper, she’s—my girlfriend. Is it OK if she comes in and waits for me?”
Girlfriend? I could feel Harper’s eyes drilling into the side of my jaw, but I kept my eyes forward. Calling her my friend just hadn’t felt right; she was a significant person in my life, and calling her my girl felt more natural. I knew I’d probably pay for that later.
“I’ll just need to check with Mrs. Leibrock. Please do come inside,” the man, ‘Clarkson’ said. His tone suggested he was put out and clearly didn’t like being faced with the unexpected.
He then opened the door wider and motioned us inside with a sweep of his arm. As we crossed the threshold, my chest tightened. Nothing had prepared me for the way I was now feeling. I was about to meet my real mother, the woman who had given birth to me.
“Please do ignore the boxes, Mr. and Mrs. Leibrock only moved into the property last month.”
I knew my mother hadn’t lived there long, which was why I found her so quickly through the public records I’d scoured through.