Chapter 19 #2
The air became charged as an argument started to brew.
I had seen many during the time I had been part of the family.
They started quickly, but soon burned out.
And the two who fought the most were Phoenix and Micah, not Phoenix and Hudson.
You didn’t fight with Hudson; it wasn’t good for your health.
Molly gave me a look, and I shook my head to say it was fine.
She’d witnessed Hudson almost choke a guy to death at a party once: Xander Creed, the brother of Nicholas, whom I was sort of seeing at the time, and the son of Anton Creed, that dodgy fucker I mentioned.
“We’ve been through this a million times already. I saw that shit by accident,” Hudson puffed out his chest and grabbed another beer.
“But now you're saying you also knew who my father was?”
“I didn’t say that dickhead. It was an observation that you look alike, end of. And how would I have known anything about that? There was nothing about your father in your file, you know that.”
“I just don’t get why you didn’t tell me what you’d observed sooner. Or what you’d seen in my file about Alex,” Phoenix grunted moodily.
“It wasn’t my news to share, Brutal. You know that.”
Micah was looking back and forth between the two other Sawyer boys with his mouth open and a half-amused expression.
“What the fuck happened to my brothers whilst I’ve been gone? We never used to keep shit from each other,” Micah stated, dusting sand off his shorts.
Everyone turned to glance at him.
“I’m surprised you came tonight, considering what happened here last year,” Reed said, referring to Micah’s stabbing.
“Enough,” Hudson said, standing and drawing Molly up with him. He wouldn’t want last year being discussed so casually in front of his girl. The man who had arranged to have Micah stabbed, Anton Creed, had also kidnapped Molly. Until Hudson and Phoenix had thankfully saved her.
“Well, I would hope you’ve all got my back this time. Instead of fighting over stolen cell phones and leaving me without my wing men,” Micah stated in an antsy tone.
My ears pricked up. “What did you say?”
He nodded towards his brothers, “The fight, last year, in the lot over there. Dickless, Moron, and Cocksucker were brawling when Creed’s cronies sent their message.
” He pointed to his injured side. I remembered the moment well, as it was Molly and I who found Micah bleeding out between two cars.
It was his other point that required clarity.
“No, go back. What do you mean, fighting over phones?”
He dashed a hand across his nose. “That’s how it started, right? The fight. Two bitches had their cell phones taken, and Nash Straker and Josh Sanderson accused Cole Smith and Michael Dexter of stealing them.”
Cole and Michael had been at St Andrew’s back then, and Nash and Josh were Harbor Heights students. They were now all at the same college together and got along, most days.
My stomach churned as I thought about that night. Micah was still talking, but I zoned out.
St Andrew’s had lost to Harbor Heights High that year, and a group of players had turned up at our victory party, causing trouble. It was that party that had almost put me off parties for good. But the news of how that fight started made me feel a bit sick.
A cold trickle of something indescribable ran down my spine, and I shivered. Phoenix slid his strong arm around my shoulders and tugged me into his side. But I hadn’t shuddered due to the cool evening’s sea air.
It was the news of the reason behind the fight. The St Andrew’s boys hadn’t stolen shit. I knew exactly who took those cell phones, as it was me.
It was the same night I had taken Tate Parker’s Louis Vuitton purse.
“Hey, is everything OK in there?” Nix whispered in my ear. He knew I’d been traumatised that night, I had to take time off school, and he’d stayed with me.
“Yes, I’d just rather not talk about that night.”
Everyone had picked up on Hudson’s silent message to his boys to clear stuff away, and both Nix and I stood and helped to roll up the blanket.
“Home time, I think?” Phoenix said, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
Nix grabbed my backpack and shoes. “Will you stay with me tonight?” he asked softly. Ensuring that none of the others were listening.
“Yes.” He stared down at me with such longing that my heart soared in my chest. And I decided to push thoughts of the nightmare that went down last year out of my mind.
Including the part about the phones I had taken.
Those very phones would be in one of my boxes back in my old room at Radcliffe Manor.
Maybe I needed to get rid of them, destroy them somehow.
Would that make what I had done go away?
Yes, I still had my problem, but things were getting better. I had gradually started to put strategies in place to stop myself from succumbing to my need to take shit. It was hard, seeing people with nice things that made them happy, triggered something inside me.
Remembering Reed on his cell earlier, I asked. “Has she messaged?” Phoenix had bummed a ride off Reed, as Hudson had explained he was stopping at Molly’s.
“No. I messaged to ask if she was OK, but I’m still unopened,” Reed said, holding his hands up. “Fuck knows. I’ll call her in the morning.”
“So, you’re finally admitting you're together?” Micah said with a grin.
“I’m admitting jack shit, brother.”
“We’ve all known you’ve been screwing for ages, man,” he added with a grin. Everyone sighed loudly. “Maybe you shouldn’t go there, considering she’s now Nix’s little sister,” Micah chuckled, attempting to poke the beast again. FFS Micah, read the room.
“Thanks for the backup, man, but I’m not quite there yet,” Nix snarked with a groan.
We were all on our feet and set off walking across the sand towards the steps. When we got to the lot, we all said our goodbyes, and Molly drew me in for a hug.
“I’m so happy for you guys,” she whispered as the boys put our stuff into the trunks of both Hudson’s Ranger and Reed’s Jeep.
“Thanks,” I said, drawing back and glancing towards Phoenix. “He’s asked me to stay with him. Do you think it will happen tonight?”
Her blonde brows lifted as she glanced to ensure Hudson hadn’t heard. “It’s up to you Harper. Don’t let him rush you.”
I smiled. “I won’t. I’ve been ready for ages.”
Our exchange then fell silent as Hudson came to collect his girl. “We’ll see you guys tomorrow. And if this dick does anything to piss you off, Baby Sawyer, let me know and I’ll kick his ass for you.”
“Yeah, you could try motherfucker,” Nix smirked as they bumped fists.
“I mean it, man, look after her. She’s your responsibility now.”
Threading a hand over my shoulder, my boyfriend announced, “What do you mean now? She’s always been my responsibility.”
I beamed shyly at them both; two strong protectors whom I loved but in very different ways. I wondered fleetingly how strong Phoenix’s feelings were for me. Maybe he wasn’t where I was at yet.
We walked behind Reed and Micah, and I wondered how to tell Nix about all my baggage. I needed to talk to him about what had happened during those years he wasn’t there, but I didn’t want to punish him for that.
I did understand the position he’d been placed in; he’d been a teenager too.
There was also the added shit about my issues and confession about all the stuff I had taken.
Maybe, if I got rid of everything, I could start fresh?
Phoenix never needed to know I was a freak.
But then I couldn’t ask for help, and those torturous desires could go on forever, to the point where I ended up in prison.
Fuck. Why had I complicated my life so much?
Because your dirtbag of a father murdered your mother, and when she died, part of you did too.
I swallowed those thoughts as I rested my head on Nix’s shoulder in the back of Reed’s Jeep. His strong hand rested on my knee, and we shared a silent look that said it all.
Even if Phoenix hadn’t made things official and asked me to be his girl that night, I would have given myself to him anyway. As soon as I had made my decision to wear his number, it had been written in the stars.
And although no words were spoken, we both knew what was going to happen that night.
* * * * *
The sexual tension in the car was so thick that I felt like rolling the window down and sticking my head out. Phoenix was quite handsy, considering our brothers were right there, but we had the back seat to ourselves, and thankfully, it was dark.
As my boyfriend had taken my hand and helped me into the car, he’d whispered in my ear. “I can’t wait to get you naked.”
I felt those words tingle between my thighs and had to cross them to try and control the pulse of need I felt there.
As we exchanged lingering looks, I occasionally caught Reed’s gaze in the rear-view mirror.
Micha sat shotgun, constantly switching between radio stations and clearly pissing his brother off.
“Why hasn’t this piece of shit got Bluetooth? I got myself some rocking tunes on Spotify.”
“That gangster rap you listen to blows,” Phoenix taunted from the back, and I smiled. “Mind you, so does the shit you listen to, Reed.”
“I listen to classic rock, man. Unlike you, fucking Spice Girls wannabe.”
Nix flipped his brother off between the seats before placing his hand back on my leg. “Your skin is so soft,” he husked, leaning towards me, his eyes full of sinful intentions.
“What’s that, brother? Speak up,” Micah belted, glancing behind his shoulder and wiggling his eyebrows.
The chemistry between us was so obvious. Had it always been there? I only hoped that Reed and Micah couldn’t sense it.
It had taken a while, but apart from Phoenix, the Sawyer boys were my brothers, and the thought of them knowing about the indecent things going on in my head was mortifying.