21. Chapter 21
Chapter twenty-one
Raina
Two months after Charles’s death
A knock sounds on my door, the sound making my heart leap. I’ve been so full of anticipation all day that it’s felt like I’ll burst at the seams.
“Come in,” I call, knowing Erik won’t step an inch into my room without my permission. He’s never broken his promise to me, and I trust that he never will.
“You ready?” he asks.
“I am.”
If I’m being truthful, I’ve been ready since the day Erik broke into my room. I’ve always loved him. Always wanted him. But he needed time, and I can’t deny that I’m grateful for it. It gave me time to learn things, both about sex in general and about my own body. Things that helped me to feel much more confident leading up to today.
Erik smiles as he takes in my outfit. When he first saw this dress on me, I was trying it on in a shop, and he dragged me back into the fitting room and fingered me with a hand over my mouth to keep anyone from hearing. Later, he told me it was the way the blue fabric of the dress brings out the color of my eyes.
“You look beautiful,” he says, his gaze darkening. “I can’t wait to tear that thing off you.”
I frown. “You’d better not rip it.”
He’s had an unfortunate habit of doing that lately.
“I make no promises.”
“Erik!”
“I’ll buy you ten new dresses to replace it.” He’s in front of me now, his lips skating down my neck. “As many as you want.”
“Including replacements for the ones you’ve already ruined?”
“Mmm. Of course, little rose.”
I lost track of the amount he’s spent on me pretty quickly. We opened a checking account in my name, and he deposits money in it monthly for me, but he barely lets me do anything with it.
Narrowing my eyes at him, I ask, “You get off on it, don’t you?”
“What, tearing your clothes off you? I think you know the answer to that.”
I roll my eyes. “No. Spending money on me.”
With a smirk, he leans down. “Makes me so fucking hard.”
I hold back a giggle. Over the past few months, Erik and I have worked to turn swear words into something that doesn’t make me panic. His main strategy has been making me laugh when he swears, and despite how silly it feels, I can’t deny that it’s worked.
“How long of a head start do I get again?” I ask.
“Thirty seconds.” He places a kiss right below my ear. “Can’t let you get too far away from me.”
I smile. Thirty seconds should be plenty, especially since I agree. Running is fun, but Erik catching me is the best part.
“Do you want to be scared?” he asks me.
“A little?”
“Good,” he whispers, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “I have the perfect idea.”
An anticipatory shiver runs up my spine. Rising up on my tiptoes, I kiss his cheek. “Now?”
“You remember your safe word?” he asks.
“Peppermint.”
We landed on it together when Erik suggested we make one. I’ve never had to use it, but it’s helped him to have the assurance that he’s not crossing any of my boundaries.
Erik nods. “Good. Now.”
Spinning around, I sprint out of my room. My strategy this time is simple: make as much noise as possible running down the stairs, find a place to quietly hide, and then sneak back upstairs once Erik is out of sight.
I stomp down the stairs before silently slipping into the closet by the front door. With only a few seconds to spare, I sink into the back so I’m hidden by all the coats hanging in here.
When I hear Erik coming down the steps, I hold my breath. I’m expecting him to open the closet and do at least a cursory search through, but instead, his footsteps fade. I wait another minute until I’m sure he’s far enough away before making my way to the front of the closet.
As I open the door, it creaks, and I gasp. Erik is standing a few yards away, and when his gaze locks with mine, he immediately begins stalking toward me.
Shoot. He must’ve doubled back at some point.
I dart up the steps, letting out a squeal when I hear him chasing after me. “You weren’t supposed to come back so quickly,” I shout over my shoulder.
“You’re not the only one with a few tricks up your sleeve,” he calls.
Erik catches me at the top of the stairs, grabbing onto my dress and yanking me into him. I yelp in surprise, clawing at his arms in a pathetic attempt to escape. With a chuckle, Erik lets me go, but he only lets me take two steps before he shoves me against the balcony’s banister.
A scream forces itself from my throat as my arms fly out in front of me. I desperately search for anything to steady myself with, but there’s nothing to grab onto. My hips are pressed almost painfully against the wooden railing, and all I can see is the first-floor foyer below.
“It’s a long fall,” Erik taunts, grabbing at my skirt and shoving it up my body. “Better stay still so you don’t lose your balance.”
He pushes me forward, forcing me onto the balls of my feet and making my position that much more precarious. When I yelp, he chuckles darkly, but I don’t miss the firm grip he has on the hair at the base of my neck.
“No panties,” he remarks, clicking his tongue. “Naughty girl.”
His words combined with his fingers tracing up my thigh send a thrill through me. Over the past couple months, I’ve realized that I like it when he taunts me like this. If it came from anyone else, I’d hate it. But with Erik, I know he doesn’t truly mean it. I’m safe with him in a way I wouldn’t have been with anyone else at the auction that night.
“Look at this pretty pussy,” Erik murmurs. “Dripping wet and desperate to be filled. You’re going to take every inch of my cock so beautifully, aren’t you?”
I gasp as he slides two fingers into me, pumping them in and out. There’s little to no resistance since I’m so wet, and he hits that perfect spot inside me that has my knees threatening to go weak.
“All for me,” he mutters as he pulls his fingers out and rubs my clit.
“E-Erik!”
My voice echoes throughout the foyer, and it feels so surreal. For so long, I was as quiet and as small as possible. It was safer that way, being unseen and forgotten about. But now I laugh loudly and run around the mansion whenever I want to.
Because now, there’s no reason to hide.
Erik’s fingers don’t leave my clit until I’m coming so hard tears fill my eyes. He keeps me steady so I don’t tumble over the railing and pulls me up. Even though I’m still catching my breath and my legs feel like jelly, I try to run.
“Oh, I don’t think so.” Snatching me up, Erik throws me over his shoulder.
I yelp, too afraid I’ll topple us both over if I try to squirm free. Erik keeps an arm banded around me as he carries me down the hallway and into his bedroom. Once he’s thrown me onto his bed, I scramble across the mattress, but he grabs my ankle and yanks me back.
“No,” I screech.
“Oh, yes. You’re all mine now.”
I feel my skirt shifting, and in the next moment, the sound of it ripping fills the room. Despite my annoyance earlier, it makes my stomach flip. There’s something about him tearing through my clothes that sends a rush through me. It’s the impatience, I think. The need to have me now, in the soonest second possible.
Erik tosses the remains of my dress to the side and flips me onto my back. He pins me to the bed effortlessly, shoving his knee between my legs and forcing them open. “Look at you, so weak and helpless. There’s no escaping me now.”
A few months ago, those words would’ve terrified me, but now they have the opposite effect. Even as I push at Erik’s arms in an attempt to prove him wrong, I feel myself soaking his jeans as I rub up against them.
“P-please,” I moan, unsure what I’m even asking for.
We keep a pair of leather handcuffs in each of our rooms, and he snatches his up. In the next second, he’s securing my wrists to the headboard. I yank at the restraints, relishing in the feeling of the leather against my skin.
When Erik’s thumb finds my clit, I groan, my muscles relaxing on instinct. I always get to this point before I’m ready. One side of me wants to fight, for him to force me, but the other wants to submit to him without question.
“Already giving in?” He chuckles. “You never do put up a fight for long, do you?”
I twist away out of spite, grunting when he clasps my hips and shoves me back into place.
“That’s my girl. Make me work for it.”
With a scream, I kick at him. Erik grabs my legs before I can land a blow, his dark chuckle making chills skate over my skin. His eyes are lit up with the thrill of holding me down, and his smile only grows when I try to break free from his grasp.
“You’re making me hard, little rose. So goddamn hard.”
His hand goes to his belt buckle, and he undoes it swiftly while still holding both my legs in place. My gaze drops as he unbuttons and unzips his pants. At this point, I’ve lost track of the amount of times Erik has seen me naked. I’ve seen him shirtless, but never in less than his pajama pants.
When he shoves his pants down, he takes his briefs with them. His dick springs free, and I still at the sight of it. I’ve had it pressed against my body a few times, and I’ve always been intimidated by how big it felt. It’s much thicker than his fingers—longer, too.
“Are they always that big?” I ask.
Erik seems amused by that, a small break from his role. “I’ve seen smaller ones, and I’ve seen bigger ones. Pretty sure mine is average-sized.”
“Will… will it hurt?” I ask on a shaky whisper. In my research, I’ve read about so many different experiences. It hurt for some people but not for others. Some bled, some didn’t. It doesn’t seem like here’s a definitive answer, but I can’t stop myself from asking.
Leaning over me, Erik kisses my neck gently. “I’m doing everything I can to make sure it won’t. But if you aren’t ready, we can—”
“No, I am. I want this so badly, Erik. Please.”
That seems to do something to him. He swallows, his eyes moving down my body and leaving a trail of fire in their wake. “You want me to fuck you?”
I nod.
“Say it,” he whispers hoarsely.
“I want you to fuck me, Erik. Please. Please, god, I need it.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not your god. I worship you, remember? Not the other way around.”
Warmth spreads through me—the soft, sweet kind, but also a type that’s darker, more possessive.
“Then do it.”
He licks his lips as he wraps his hand around his dick and strokes it. The simple action captures all my attention. I’ve touched myself countless times to the thought of doing something like that to him.
I whimper, and not just because he’s back to fingering me with his free hand. He slides two fingers into me, gently pushing them apart and stretching me.
“There you go. Look how well you’re handling this. You can take my cock, little rose. I know you can.”
“Then give…” I gasp as he curls his fingers just right. “Then give it to me, Erik.”
He’s already on his knees in between my legs. All he has to do is adjust his position, and then he can be inside of me. So simple, yet he’s still staring down at me with a smirk on his face, unmoving.
“Erik!”
“Just taking in the moment,” he says, his voice dipping playfully.
And then finally— finally —he pulls his fingers out of me, his thumb landing on my clit. With his eyes locked on mine, he guides his dick to my entrance and slowly pushes inside. My breath hitches, and I tense, expecting pain.
But there isn’t any.
Only the feeling of being filled in a way I never have been before. Of pleasure, even. All from him.
At a snail’s pace, Erik slides farther into me. He’s staring at me with such intensity that it burns. But even if I wanted to, I don’t think I could look away. I don’t want to fight anymore. Don’t want to do anything but bask in the wonder of being the singular object of his focus.
Just when I’m worried I won’t be able to take anymore, Erik bottoms out. He groans my name, his voice strained, and tilts his face up to the ceiling. When I roll my hips, trying to take him even deeper, he lets out a harsh breath.
“Please,” I whimper. His thumb is still rubbing my clit, and the added sensation of him inside me is almost too overwhelming.
Erik’s eyes snap to mine, and the sight of him takes my breath away. His dark hair has fallen into his face, and he’s staring down at me like I have the power to break him.
“Raina. Raina, I need you to tell me…”
“It doesn’t hurt,” I whisper. “Please keep going.”
A breathless laugh escapes him, and he shakes his head. “So polite, even when I’m balls-deep inside you. Let go, Raina. Tell me what you want. I’ll give you anything.”
I tug against the handcuffs, not to remind myself that I’m restrained, but because I want to touch him. I want to feel his skin heat under my fingertips, feel the vibrations in his throat when he speaks.
“Undo these?”
Faster than light, his hands are on me, undoing the cuffs and tossing it to the side. “Are you all right? Did I—”
“I’m fine.” I brush my fingers against his torso before flattening my palms against him, feeling his muscles tighten under my hands. “Just want to touch you.”
At that, he relaxes. “You can do that all you want, little rose. You can do whatever you want to me.”
Smiling, I yank him down until his mouth crashes against mine. As I kiss him, he pulls out of me and then slides back in, and the feeling of it makes me gasp.
“Erik.”
“Hmm?” he murmurs against my mouth.
“Again. Do—do that again. Oh— oh my god.” My back arches as he thrusts into me, adding the tiniest bit of extra force.
“Again?” he asks, his lips moving from my mouth to my neck.
“Yes. Yes, please don’t stop.”
“Your wish is my command, little rose.” After pressing one last kiss to my throat, he straightens. “Gonna make you come like this. Need to know what it feels like.”
With his thumb back on my clit, he moves in and out of me, keeping his movements careful. As always, I can see how much he’s holding himself back for me. I’ve appreciated it every time, but right now, I don’t want him to.
I want him, raw and unfiltered and enjoying this as much as I am.
“You let go, too,” I tell him, my hands traveling over his torso. “Stop holding back, Erik.”
“Don’t wanna hurt you. Just wanna… wanna make you feel good.”
“Then let go.” I tug at his hips, trying to get him to use more force. “I want you to.”
An array of emotions plays across his face as he works to make up his mind. He’s always putting me first. Always protecting me. For once, I want him to be a little selfish.
“I’ll tell you if it’s too much,” I assure him.
That’s all it takes. I can see the moment the decision is solidified in his mind. His eyes harden with determination, and in the next second, he’s thrusting into me so hard I cry out. It’s the perfect blend of pleasure and closeness.
“God, Raina,” Erik pants. “So good. So fucking good.”
I prop myself up on my elbows, trying to get a better view of him disappearing inside me. His hand is partially in the way since he’s still playing with my clit, but the glimpse I get has me clenching around him.
“Wanted this for so long,” he murmurs, and I realize he’s watching, too. “You’re perfect. Better than I ever imagined. Better than I’ve ever had. I… Ro… Raina.”
My heart clenches at the pain in Erik’s voice. It’s wrapped up in a blend of lust and pleasure, but it’s unmissable to me. No matter how close to each other we are now, our forced separation is embedded into who we are.
“You have me,” I tell him. “Forever.”
He shudders, his eyes falling shut. “Tell me again.”
“I’m yours.” Lowering myself onto my back, I take his free hand and clasp it in mine. “Yours forever. And you’re mine.”
That brings him fully back to me, and he nods. “Only yours. Now come for me. Come on my cock, little rose. Need you to.”
I’ve been close for a while, dangling from a precipice, just needing that one last shove over the edge. Erik’s thrusts turn more powerful as he traps me in his gaze, his lips parted. His cock moving inside of me, paired with his thumb on my clit, has me whimpering and squirming.
“That’s it. I know you can do it, Raina. Give it to me.”
As my orgasm slams into me, I cry out, grabbing onto Erik. The rush of sensations grabs me by the throat and holds my next breath hostage. The sound of Erik moaning yes, yes, yes barely registers in my mind as he somehow manages to push me deeper into the euphoria.
When he finally lets up on my clit, my entire body is quivering, and my vision is blurred. Erik is still pumping into me when he lowers his body onto mine. His heat seeps into me, and I slide my arms around his torso to hold him close.
With his lips against my neck, Erik murmurs, “Breathe through it, little rose.”
I gasp in a breath as my brain slowly starts working again. “Erik,” I manage. “Erik, it feels so…”
“I know.” He lifts himself up just enough that he can stare down at me. “Gonna make me come.”
He doesn’t stop, and every time he slides deep inside me, my breath catches. My body is on the verge of overstimulation, but I can’t tell him to stop. Not when he seems to be enjoying this just as much as I am. He says he loves seeing me like this, and watching him, I finally understand why.
“Raina— fuck —I’m coming.”
Erik shudders, his movements slowing. Heat pools inside me as I watch him closely, not even letting myself blink. His eyes are closed, his muscles slack, and his chest is heaving. The picture of beauty, of perfection, and he’s coming because of me.
When Erik finally stops, he stays inside of me. His forehead drops to my shoulder. “Little rose,” he breathes out. “God. You… fuck, Raina.”
With shaking hands, I frame his face and pull him toward me so I can kiss him. He groans, his tongue entering my mouth, as if what we just did somehow wasn’t enough for him.
“Too good,” he mumbles breathlessly. “Gonna have this pussy dripping with my cum morning, day, and night.”
The thought has me smiling up at him. He told me that he had a procedure done a few years ago that will stop him from getting me pregnant, so there’s nothing to worry about. I’m glad we’re on the same page about that. Erik and I would be nothing like my father, but after what we both went through as kids, I can’t imagine bringing a child into this world.
When Erik finally pulls out of me, he stares in between my legs, his gaze heating. It takes a few seconds, but then I feel liquid dripping out of me. His fingers are there in a split second, pushing his cum back into me.
“That’s better,” he mutters to himself. “Back where it belongs.”
I’m not sure why, but that has gratification winding through me. Holding my arms out to him, I murmur, “Come back down here.”
He collapses next to me and pulls me into his body. We’re both a little sweaty and still out of breath, but I can’t find it in me to care. I press a kiss to his chest, a feeling of contentment slipping over me.
This is what love feels like, my mind whispers. Safe. Unending. Warm.
And he’s all mine.