Chapter 4
PIRATE
Pirate and Jumper walked into Jumper and Jasmine’s half of the duplex—and both their mouths dropped open. The couch was covered in open pregnancy test boxes. There were at least twenty of them.
From where they stood in the living room, they could hear Sophia’s voice coming from the bedroom. “Woman, if you don’t piss right now, I will shove this thing up your urethra! Now, pee!”
Jazz’s voice, softer and a bit scratchy, came next. “I can’t pee! You’ve had me pee on a dozen of these things, Sophia! There’s no pee left in me!”
Jumper and Pirate shared a look that had become common place between the brothers since Jumper had gotten his head out of his ass and claimed Jasmine over a year ago.
It was a look where they measured if they dared enter the room where their women were or if they slinked back out and pretended they were never there.
Unfortunately, the dogs made the decision before they could.
Winnie, Kidd, and Enola came charging out of the bedroom, their tails wagging and barking loud enough to wake the dead.
Aerial, released from her work harness, greeted them with vigor.
They all sniffed her butt like they needed to confirm she was the same Aerial who had left them only two days ago.
Sophia’s head poked out of the bedroom next. “Uh oh. The guys are back.”
“What!?” That was a lot louder, coming from Jasmine, but she still sounded like she’d swallowed a frog. “You said you were going to clean all this up before—” A retching sound interrupted her sentence.
Jumper forced his way through the pack of dogs to the bedroom. Sophia smartly moved aside. Catching her eye, Pirate crooked a finger at her.
Smiling that sassy smile he loved so fucking much, Sophia sauntered over to him. “Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. Plunder any booty while you were away?”
He snaked an arm around her back, his hand going automatically to one luscious ass cheek. “Saucy wench. You know your booty is the only one I’ll be plundering.”
Sophia’s smile widened, but whatever smartass comment she was about to make next was interrupted by Jumper’s demand of, “Sophia!”
“Uh oh.” She made a face. “Daddy sounds mad.”
Sophia had called Jumper a lot of things in the time since Jasmine and Jumper had gotten together, but ‘Daddy’ had never been one of them. His eyes went to the mass of pregnancy test boxes scattered all over the couch.
“Jazz is pregnant?” he asked. As far as he knew, Jumper and Jasmine had decided not to have kids. Which Pirate did not judge them for. Their married life was their own, and they had a right to choose if having kids was the responsible decision for them.
Sophia crinkled her nose, but once again, whatever answer she was about to give him was interrupted by: “SOPHIA!”
Reaching back, she tapped the hand he still had on her ass. “Hold that thought. I’ll be right back, matey.”
Pirate didn’t even bother to roll his eyes. The ring he’d placed on her finger meant that his future was full of never-ending pirate jokes, puns, and clichés. Like how she only allowed him to drink rum anymore or how his ringtone would forever be VeggieTale’s It’s a Pirate’s Life for Me.
Sophia hurried into Jasmine and Jumper’s bedroom. Pirate was slower to follow, since the dogs all decided to chase after her.
Jumper and Jasmine’s comforter was covered with pregnancy sticks. But what was worse was the number of unopened boxes still in bags by the door. What the fuck was going on?
Sophia had her arms crossed over her chest. She was wearing a long sweater with black leggings and sexy-as-fuck knee-high boots.
Jasmine, on the other hand, looked terrible.
She was leaning against Jumper’s broad chest like there wasn’t an ounce of energy left inside her.
Her bathrobe was open a little too much for decency, forcing Pirate to quickly turn around and face the bedroom door.
“They’re just boobs,” he heard Sophia scoff behind him. “Okay, it’s safe to turn back around.”
Slowly turning in case Jasmine’s robe hadn’t been fixed after all and Sophia was just trying to start shit, Pirate peeked and was relieved to see Jasmine was completely covered once more. Jumper had a hand clamping her robe closed for good measure too.
He sent Jasmine an apologetic smile. She barely met it in return. God, she looked awful. Weren’t pregnant women supposed to glow or something?
The only experience Pirate had with a pregnant woman was when he’d found Harper mid-labor trying to leave the high school last March. He hadn’t even understood when Lucky had asked if her water had broken. Pregnancy was fucking terrifying.
Despite that he’d called Sophia into the bedroom, Jumper’s eyes were on Pirate. “Get your fucking woman under control.”
Pirate raised an eyebrow at his big brother. “I don’t even know what the fuck is going on. Is Jazz pregnant?”
“Yes,” Sophia said as Jumper and Jasmine said, “No.”
“Well that didn’t clear a thing up,” Pirate scoffed. “What the hell is going on?” His eyes dropped to the pregnancy tests on the bed. They weren’t lined up neatly, nor were they all facing upward. But enough were for Pirate to see either a single blue line or the word Negative on a digital screen.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on.
“Fuck,” he grumbled out. Feeling a headache coming on, Pirate rubbed his temple. “What the hell, Sophia? How many tests did you force her to take?”
“Like three,” Sophia waved off. “She’s pregnant! No one has had the flu here in weeks! It doesn’t make sense for her to have it.”
“Except that she works with the public?” Pirate offered up.
Sophia glared at him over her shoulder. “You’re not helping.”
He pointed to the mattress. “And you are? One would have been enough! Not,” he counted really quick, “fourteen!”
“It’s a womanly thing, you wouldn’t understand,” Sophia snapped at him.
“Pretty sure I understand more than you do right now.” Pirate approached his wife. His hand ached to blister her ass for this stunt. “I think you made your best friend, who likely is sick with a stomach bug or the flu, become dehydrated to prove your theory.”
“She’s hydrated!” Sophia’s eyes blazed, likely at the accusation that she’d endangered the health of her best friend.
Pirate shook his head. “Clean up here and say goodbye to Jazz. We’re leaving. She needs rest and less,” he waved his hand up and down her, “of this.”
He, on the other hand, needed much, much more of this. He truly was insane, because Sophia’s antics were a fucking turn on for him.
Pirate didn’t even have a chance to remove his prosthetic leg before Sophia was on him. Yeah, there was no questioning his insanity. He was done for. A goner. Because fucking hell, there was nothing hotter than a very naked Sophia riding him.
His hands kneaded her ass cheeks like they were made of Play-Doh. Groaning, he thrust up inside her as she bounced on his cock. They’d long ago thrown out the condoms. Sophia had been on the shot for six-ish months now, which was fucking fantastic. Messy, but fantastic.
He lifted his hand and brought it down hard on her ass. “Naughty, naughty girl. You have no shame.”
Sophia’s smile was wicked. “None,” she said in agreement.
She was completely naked while he still wore his sweater.
His pants were undone, though only pulled down to his upper thighs.
Her hands gripped the cotton of his sweater so tight that, if she were any stronger, she would have ripped it open by now.
“That’s it, baby. Ride me, take my cock.
It’s been two fucking days since I was inside you.
” Pirate couldn’t remember the last time they hadn’t had sex since they started having sex.
Was it possible that yesterday was the first full day since their first ride on that pirate ship in the San Francisco Bay that they hadn’t had sex?
He wasn’t positive, but there was a good chance that statement was accurate. Even her period didn’t stop them.
Rocking back and forth, she took his dick like a good girl. Pirate lifted his head with the intent to take one of her nipples, but even in the throes of passion he caught the moment her expression changed.
Like a switch had been flipped, Sophia froze on top of him.
“Baby, what—”
Sophia flew off Pirate so fast it was a wonder she didn’t take his dick with her.
Scrambling to right his pants and follow her, Pirate nearly tripped over the collection of unopened pregnancy test boxes still in plastic bags from the pharmacy.
They’d brought them over to their side of the house when they left Jumper and Jasmine only minutes ago.
The dogs were who knew where. Pirate really hoped Sophia had a receipt for the tests so they could return them. Who the fuck other than Sophia Groveton (now Sager) would buy out a pharmacy’s supply of pregnancy tests when only one was required?
Pirate heard the retching from the bathroom before he even made it inside.
His shoulders slumping, he made his way over to the toilet as his wife puked into the basin.
With one hand he gathered up her hair, and with the other, he turned on the sink, pulling a washcloth off the rack on the vanity for her. Her entire body heaved.
“Ugh. I don’t want you to see me like this,” she whined. “Go get Jazz.”
Pirate snorted. “We actually said vows this time around, and I believe ‘in sickness and in health’ were in there somewhere.” He squeezed the wet cloth as best he could with one hand and then pressed it to the back of her neck.
“We also said ‘for richer or poorer’ but I’d leave your ass in a minute if you suddenly became penniless.”
Pirate smiled down at his naked wife. “You keep telling yourself that, but I’d hunt you down and bring you back.”