Chapter 59 Kind of Pregnant?
kind of pregnant?
Zoya
Three weeks later.
Who would have guessed that I’d ever become a Crush junkie?
It’s true. I even watch the games.
I’ve been streaming every single Crush playoff game online because I hope to see glimpses of Tyler.
I pray for locker room interviews that feature him so I can hear his voice.
I watch his old interviews on YouTube constantly.
I still stalk his social media, but all his accounts went silent.
Not a single new post on any of them. The games have been fun to watch, though I would never, ever admit it to my father.
I thought Papa planned to stay in the US through the end of the season, but after everything that went down with Tyler, and after he put me on a plane back to Russia, he changed his mind and returned home with Irina as soon as her semester finished a few weeks later.
Gratefully I was able to do finals and submit my final projects online.
I got credit for all my units at UNLV, including STAT 152.
The (A-) was a surprise. I won’t have to take it again, but even thinking about stats now just wrecks me. Because of Tyler.
These have been the hardest seven weeks of my life.
I know I love Tyler, but in this time of silence, of not knowing, of feeling as though part of me is missing…
I’ve never known such a sense of loss. Irina has forgiven me, especially after finding me sobbing one night about a week after she came home.
She couldn’t stay angry at me after that, and when she thought about it, she apologized to me, saying she’d been prideful and selfish to ask me to not sleep with him.
That certainly helped, having my best friend—my sister—back again.
It still breaks my heart seeing Tyler, though, and when the cameras get near enough to show his face up close, his eyes look dead.
The fire I know he has, is missing, even though he plays well.
Normally, I think he fights a lot, ends up in the penalty box often.
Lately my Ty has played a strong defensive game, but even I can see he is playing with no emotion.
The team is within reach of the Cup, heading into the finals, when my father calls us all together to FaceTime with Georg after game one. Mama, out at the shops, will be sorry she missed his call.
“Pozdravlyayu!” Papa says as Georg’s face fills the screen. “Three more games and you are a champion again!”
“The team is a champion,” Georg says, pushing a hand through his hair. “It’s been a bloody good season for us all.”
“All except that mudak,” my father mutters.
“Ah, well, that mudak is actually playing exceptional defense out there, as you well know, Papa. He is one of the best. You cannot deny. So it’s his championship, too,” Georg reminds him.
They are talking about Tyler, of course.
My father never met a grudge he could not keep for a century.
I roll my eyes and grit my teeth. I would give anything to talk to Tyler, but my father continues to remind me how it will never happen under his watchful eye.
I have to respect Papa’s wishes for now, but once this season is over?
Who knows...
Maybe I take a summer trip to Las Vegas or maybe Tyler takes a summer trip to Saint Petersburg. Something will change soon; I can feel it. I don’t know how I know this, but I do.
“Well, we actually called to share some other news,” Georg says. He pulls the phone away and Pam appears beside him.
“Beremennaya?” Irina asks.
“No,” Georg says. “But kind of?”
“How can you be kind of pregnant?” I ask, suddenly re-engaged in the conversation.
“We’re working with Tyler’s attorney and caseworker in Boston to get custody of Haley and Logan,” Pam announces excitedly.
Kirill Kolochev is speechless. Irina is speechless. I am the first to recover. “You’re adopting them?”
“Starting with fostering,” Pam says. “We’ll have to go through some legal hoops for a while to prove we’re serious, but the end-game is adoption, yes.”
“His mother will go along with this?”
“She’s in a long-term rehabilitation center now, but it’s not going well,” Pam explains.
“It’s likely she’ll go back to jail in Boston.
James and Winter Blakney, the couple we met on our honeymoon at Fripp Island, are handling the case for us in Boston.
You met them when you were all there with us.
Anyway, James says there’s plenty of grounds to permanently restrict her access to them.
And Winter feels like no judge would overlook an opportunity to put two neglected, abused kids into a better permanent home. ”
“Wow.” It takes me a minute to absorb her words. "I do remember James and Winter from Fripp Island. How wonderful you have experts to help you with this process. It’s amazing. Really. And surprising, I guess? I thought you didn’t want to ever have children?”
Georg gives an impish grin. “Well, technically, we didn’t have children.”
“Be serious, predatel’.”
“I am being serious. We didn’t have children, we found them. They found us. And while we certainly enjoy the act required to make babies, we do not actually want babies. But older kids? And these two…Haley and Logan? Well, we love them both very much. They fit with us, and we fit with them.”
I nearly cry thinking about this news. “Tyler must be very relieved,” I say. “He was so worried about a long-term solution.”
“He was shocked, to say the least, but he’s on board for sure. He can still be close by and part of their daily lives, but it takes the pressure off him, which is best for him and the kids. Relieved is a good word for it, I think,” Pam answers thoughtfully.
“He’s still troubled, of course, about other things,” Georg adds.
I frown, looking at my father, who still hasn’t said anything. Irina says, “Wow, congrats,” then nudges Papa.
He makes a strange noise before saying, “I will be grandfather?”
They all talk for a few minutes when my brother asks for a moment to talk with Papa alone. He walks off with the phone, shutting himself in his office. The conversation switches to Russian.
About half an hour later, Papa emerges, red-faced.
“Must have been an intense conversation,” Irina mutters, looking down at her book.
“Zoya,” he says, ignoring my sister, “your brother has appealed on behalf of his teammate.”
“Tyler, Papa, his name is Tyler. He is not Lord Voldemort. You can say his name.”
He clears his throat. “Tyler.” He grimaces. “Georg said he is convinced Tyler is now a better man; he has changed, and that he has earned the right to see you.”
“I could have told you this a long time ago, Papa."
“Please do not—just—I am going against my better judgment. It is hard for me to see you growing up, to see you becoming a woman. You are the baby of this family.”
“Papa, I may be the baby of this family, but I’m not a baby anymore.
I’m a grown woman, an adult, and if anything, this last seven weeks has shown me how much I do love Tyler Lockhardt.
” I’ve felt heartbroken with an indescribable loss, which is crazy for how long we’d actually spent together.
But I missed his conversation, his cheekiness, his strength.
I miss him so much. “It is real—for both of us—and I can see how this is hurting him as it is hurting me. I can tell the difference between men who want only one thing and good men, and my Ty is a good man.”
We meet each other’s eyes for a long heartbeat before my father says, “If you really love him, then you should be together. You may go to be with the one you love, my Zoya.”
After hugging my father so hard I worry I might have broken him, I can’t get on a plane fast enough.