Chapter 68
a party with strangers?
Cal
Shit.
I should not have done that. Her kissing me I could explain. Me following her, getting in the cab, kissing her back? That’s on me.
I could blame it on the beer I had, but honestly? I wasn’t drunk. Not even close.
I shove my hands in my pockets and slouch down the road in the direction I think my apartment might be. It’s probably a mile walk but I need the air. What the heck was I thinking? Seriously. I just told Em we would make this work, and here I am kissing someone else.
Maybe I’m just lonely. Yeah, that’s all it is. I don’t have anyone here. No friends. I haven’t bonded with the team. I don’t have family here. It’s just loneliness. And she was nice to me. She liked me a little. Enough to dance with me.
And kiss me.
Ugh. I’m an idiot.
You liked it, though.
Cal Lefleur, professional idiot. Also, colossal moron.
I give myself the mental smackdown while I wander around a city I don’t know, feeling lost and starting to panic when I realize I don’t actually have any idea where I am. Christ. I need a routine. I need to get into a pattern. I need people around me who can help me navigate my life.
This isn’t going to work. Being here in Las Vegas with no one.
That’s all that kiss was. A moment of weakness because I felt alone. Em and I have been together for almost three years, and although I can sense her pulling away now, it hasn’t always been that way. I’ve never looked or touched another woman. Never been tempted.
Moron.
Finally, I give up and hail a cab, giving my address and then feeling stupid when I realize I was only two blocks from my building.
When I fall into bed, the whole night catches up to me instantly. My head hits the pillow and I’m out.
I wake up disoriented, face down on my bed, still in my clothing from the night before. After taking a long, too-hot shower before shuffling to the kitchen to get something to eat. I stare at my cell phone for a long time, contemplating calling my agent. Will this restlessness ever disappear?
Still, the money is good. The contract is good. And if I can play here for a year or two, I can save a ton, then go back home. I settle on calling Emily instead.
“Good morning, Cal.” She sounds sleepy.
“Hello, love. How are you this morning?”
“Tired,” she says, yawning for punctuation. “I stayed up way too late last night.”
“Doin’ what?”
“I had some of my classmates over. We played games and drank wine and ate crappy Chinese food while bitching about our thesis projects.”
“Oh? Sounds fun, I guess.”
“It was.”
I try to push back the bitterness I feel, knowing she was surrounded by friends and having a good time without me. “I went out and saw a band.”
“That’s good. You love live music. Were they any good?”
“They were, in fact. I went to an after party with them after their set”
“You went to an after party? With strangers?”
“I did.”
She laughs lightly. “Well, that’s new.”
She’s not wrong, but it gives me dark satisfaction that she’s surprised by it.
Still, she doesn’t ask for more detail. Doesn’t ask anything.
She just starts babbling about some story one of her classmates told her about a shared professor.
It’s meaningless to me since I know none of the people she’s talking about.
I listen and make noises to show I’m still paying attention, but my mind wanders to the dark-haired drummer.
Her hands on my hips. The way her body moved. The feel of her lips against mine.
Billie.
Her bandmate called her Billie.
“Calum?” Em snaps from the other end of the line. “You in la-la land?”
“I guess.” An understatement if ever there was one. “Sorry. Listen, Em?”
“Yes, Cal?”
“I really need to see you. Please, please figure out a time? I’ll fly you out. This is hard for me, you know. Not having anyone.”
She’s quiet on the other end for just a heartbeat before answering, “I know. I know it must be hard for you. A whole new routine. New people. New environment. That’s probably really hard for you.”
“So, you’ll find some dates?”
“I’ll find some dates.”
I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. “Good. That’s good.”
“I’m Alicia,” the tall, dark-skinned woman says. She holds out a hand, which I shake as she says, “I run the Crush Foundation.”
“Cal.” I give her a nod. “I’m the new goalkeeper.”
She laughs, a loud, infectious sound. “I know who you are.”
“Oh, sorry.”
Alicia explains that she’s got a car waiting to take us over to Children’s Services Las Vegas, where we’re supposed to get a tour and then talk about the new music education program the club is hoping to do with help from the Crush Foundation.
When I was in Canada, we did community things all the time. Once, they had us do a fashion show, which was really funny, actually. The idea of playing the guitar with some kids seems more up my alley, though, so I’m down with it. And it gives me something to do, which will be helpful.
I follow Alicia, who leads the way in her high heels. She’s a very pretty lady, though I’ve noticed the Crush seems to only hire attractive people. It’s kind of weird, actually. Maybe it’s a Vegas thing.
When we get to the Club, a blond woman comes out to greet us.
“Tara,” she says, offering her hand, “and you must be Cal.”
“I am. Nice to meet you.”
“You too, Cal. Thanks for doing this.”
“Well, it’s part of the gig,” I say with a shrug.
She cocks her head and laughs. “At least you’re honest. Let me show you all around.”
We tour the club, Tara pointing out places where donors have given money to help them upgrade the space or enhance the programming.
It’s Monday morning, so there aren’t any kids here.
The space seems huge and empty, the large cafeteria echoing as she tells us about the evening meal prepared here by local chefs each night.
“A lot of our kids have parents who work in the service sector on night shifts. They come here after school, have a snack, work on homework, let off steam, and get a hot meal for dinner before heading home. We close at nine each night and there’s a bus to get kids home safely.
Honestly, many of these kids hardly see their parents at all because of work shifts.
It’s likely they might not get much of a meal at all if they didn’t come here.
And some of them tell us they don’t eat anything all day until they get to the club. ”
“That’s really terrible,” Alicia says. “They don’t eat at home or at school?”
Tara makes a face. “The home thing is rough for many of them. If Mom is sleeping or not home from work, they might not have the wherewithal to fix themselves something nutritious before school. The kids are waking themselves up, getting themselves dressed, doing their homework with no help or guidance…you get the picture. It’s a miracle some of them actually make it to school each day.
Then, if they don’t have the money, or their government paperwork for free-and-reduced-lunches isn’t filed by their parent, then they don’t get lunch at school either, so…
” She shrugs and shakes her head. “I mean, there are other factors, too, but suffice it to say we strive to make sure they get nutritious snacks after school and at least one good meal a day. And, most importantly, a safe, supportive place to be.”
We keep walking, Tara showing us a huge basketball court, a game room, and a space that looks like a series of standard classrooms with desks and chalkboards.
“We make them do homework or tutoring before they can go do the fun stuff,” she explains.
“Once the tutors sign off, they can go run around the club and do whatever. We have a program director, whom you’ll meet in a minute.
She organizes daily programming in addition to the free-play options we have.
She runs a gaming club, a theater club, a crafting club… you get the point.”
“And, it seems,” Alicia says, “a new music education program?”
“She has big vision,” Tara says. “Oh, speak of the devil, here she is now.”
I turn and almost swallow my tongue, quickly trying to control the shock I feel when I see the drummer from the other night.
It’s definitely her, though today, her long, purple-tipped hair is pulled up in a messy bun on top of her head.
She’s in a pair of skinny jeans, a T-shirt, and a blue blazer.
I’d know the face anywhere, though, after thinking of almost nothing else for the past day or so.
Her eyes go wide at the sight of me too, a light pink blush coloring her high cheekbones.
“Billie Hirsch,” Tara says, “Meet Alicia Borden and Cal Lefleur from the Crush.”
Billie reaches out to shake both of our hands. She meets my gaze, but only briefly, before turning to Alicia. “Nice to meet you both. Thanks for coming over to talk about my big idea.”
“We like big ideas,” Alicia says. “Especially ones that have real impact. The Crush, as you know, have had record-breaking success the past few seasons and it’s our goal to really use that to help local organizations.”
We all walk into a smallish, empty room.
I look around and then back at Billie. “This is where I’d like to run an after-school music education program,” she explains.
“I know it looks like nothing right now. I mean, it was actually a storage room, which I cleaned out over the past few days, but it’s big enough to house a drum kit, a couple of guitar stands, and a keyboard setup.
My idea is that we’d do different instrument lessons on different days, and then maybe let the kids come together on Fridays to try to make their own music?
Think School of Rock if you remember that movie. ”
“Do other clubs offer programs like this?” Alicia asks. “I mean, is that concept a real thing, or just a movie thing?”
“Actually, there are rock camps all around the country,” Billie says with a nod. “Many are just for girls, and they also teach self-defense and empowerment and such. But yes, many communities have programs like this.”
“And Billie is uniquely qualified to run a program exactly like this,” Tara says. “She’s the drummer in a pretty well-known local band.”
“Oh?” Alicia raises an eyebrow and grins approvingly.
Billie blushes and scratches the bridge of her nose. “I do play in a band.”
And then she looks right at me.
I’m not sure if I’m supposed to admit I’ve met her and heard her play or keep my mouth shut. I’m not any good at reading these kinds of situations.
“My plan is to teach drumming myself, but I’ll be enlisting volunteer help for the other instruments. I’ve got a pianist from one of the big hotels coming in to do the keyboarding, and the bass player from my band will teach bass.”
“Which leaves a spot open for a guitarist,” Tara says, smiling in my direction.
All three women stare at me.
“That’s me, I suppose. I’m the guitarist.”
“Don’t sound so excited,” Billie mutters under her breath.
“Cal’s a shy guy,” Alicia says. “I’ve been assured by our public relations team that this is something he’s willing to do.
And the Crush Foundation is willing to make a sizable contribution to Children’s Services Las Vegas.
We’re thinking we can provide the funds you need to outfit the space here, and then we can have the kids come and play a bit at the Crush Foundation gala in the spring, where we’ll deliver a larger check to support your general operations.
The key is to allow us in to do some video of Cal working with the kids that we can use in our promotional materials and at games. We want this to be a win-win.”
“I’ll have to get media releases signed by parents before we can put them on video,” Billie says. “It could take a few weeks.”
“That’s fine,” Alicia says. “We have some time to work with.”
Tara and Billie look at each other before Billie turns back to us and says, “Sounds like this could work, then.”
Alicia claps her hands together. “Great! We’re doing a couple of other fun projects with other players.
Cal, here, is new to the team so this will be a super fun way to introduce him to the community.
I’ll go back and iron out a grant agreement and memorandum of agreement so we can make sure everyone’s on the same page, does that sound okay? ”
“It sounds great, we really appreciate the support from the Crush Foundation on this,” Tara says.
“We’re happy to do it,” Alicia says. “Tara, why don’t we go talk in more detail while Billie meets with Cal about his role in all of this?”
“Sounds good,” Tara answers. “Billie, just bring Cal up to my office when you’re done chatting?”
“No problem,” Billie says, giving a thin smile.
As the two other women leave, Billie turns to me. “Well, this is awkward.”
Indeed.