Chapter 3
Chapter
Three
My throat goes dry at the memories, ice coating my hands, my chest burning as my Gift rises.
No. I’m not that little girl anymore. I’m not afraid.
I clench and unclench my fists over and over, refusing to let memories overwhelm me.
I take deep, controlled breaths the way Tobias taught me all those years ago when fear would take my breath out of nowhere, for seemingly no reason.
Focus on things you can see and hear and feel. Breathe in as you count to three, hold it as you count to five, and then exhale slowly as you count to three again.
As it so often does, his voice in my mind helps to ground me. I take one more breath and shift my shoulders back. I march up the stairs, ready to be done with this.
Two guards pull the doors open for me and servants within bow their heads respectfully as I enter.
I take in the four-story foyer, craning my head back to study the soaring ceiling.
I’d always loved the gold-dusted chandelier that dangles high above.
As a child, I’d thought it resembled a giant golden spider, and I’d imagine that it would come to life and have adventures with me all around the castle.
I shake my head now, feeling silly for remembering such things.
I tell myself not to, but glance to my right all the same, staring at the spot on the floor a few feet away.
I can still see the guard’s lifeless body lying in a pool of blood, those crimson fingers reaching towards me…
“Tee,” a soft voice breathes from the top of the grand staircase.
My eyes snap upward, colliding with my twin’s.
Tesni’s lips part, a smile spreading over her face.
I inhale sharply at the sight. Tesni looks just as I should—red hair flowing down her back in soft curls, those emerald eyes wide and gleaming.
My skin is more sun-kissed than Tesni’s fair coloring thanks to so much time spent outside at the docks and splashing in the bay in Helios, but there’s no denying that Tesni is even more beautiful because of it.
She looks like a porcelain doll, delicate and exquisitely made.
Tee. I wince at the nickname from so long ago.
A flash of a memory sears my eyes, nearly making me stumble: the pair of us, lying beneath the huge canopy that covered my bed, making up stories about the stars embroidered there.
“See, Tee! The jester is just there, with his funny hat.” A peel of giggles.
“No, Tess! That’s the queen with her crown! ”
“Thea,” I respond cooly. “My name is Thea.” Tesni looks hurt for a brief moment, but then inclines her head as if to say she understands that though Tee and Tess had been sisters, Thea and Tesni are simply two strangers who have agreed to a meeting.
“You came.” Her voice sounds tight, as if she’s truly surprised to see me.
I narrow my eyes, wondering what game she’s playing, my defenses up and ready.
She breezes down the stairs, looking every bit the King’s treasured Gifted, the spoiled princess.
She’s in a stunning midnight blue gown that seems to flow like water behind her as she descends step after step.
I glance down at my own clothing: leather riding pants and matching boots, a white linen tunic with a worn leather vest that cinches my waist and ties across my breasts.
I’d worn a coat on the ship to keep up appearances once we crossed into the northern seas, though the cold doesn’t affect me as it does most people, but I’d discarded it in the carriage.
Anyone here would already know exactly who I am, so there was no reason to pretend or hide.
Though I hate being back here, I can’t deny that the relief of being myself is intoxicating. I’ve been hiding for so long…
I shake myself, clearing my throat and throwing my shoulders back.
The longer I looked at Tesni—and that is who she is now.
She’ll never be my Tess again—the angrier I become.
My rage burns low, just below the surface, like embers in a fire.
They need only be stoked just right to bring the fire to roaring once more.
And if anyone can stoke that fire in me, it’s my sister.
I clench and unclench my fists as I watch my sister like a hawk.
Tesni’s eyes are glassy when she finally reaches me, but when she steps forward and extends her arms, as if to embrace me, I flinch away, taking a step back to keep space between us.
It’s taking every ounce of control just to be in the same room with her.
There’s no way in all seven hells that I’ll ever be ready to hug her like nothing is wrong between us. Tesni drops her arms.
“I-I’m sorry. I know you hate me, Tee—Thea,” she corrects quickly at my glare.
She studies me. “You changed your hair. And your eyes.” She says it with a bit of a smile, as if we’re just old friends commenting on how we’ve changed as we’ve gotten older—oh goodness, look how tall you’ve gotten!
You’ve lost your chubby cheeks! I love the new haircut—but there’s something else there, some kind of calculation in her eyes.
I’m not gullible or delusional. I know that Tesni must have some kind of ulterior motive in this meeting, but no matter what’s to come, I’m fully prepared to protect myself.
I’m not afraid to hurt people like I’d been all those years ago, and my power is no longer weak and unreliable.
“What do you want, Tesni?” I ask, keeping my voice cool.
I notice with some satisfaction that I’m taller than she is by an inch or so.
It’s a stupid thing to be smug about, but I’m smug all the same.
“You said it was a matter of life and death, so I imagine the conversation should get underway as soon as possible.”
Tesni’s lips thin and I don’t miss the flash of anger before she quickly covers it with what looks like sadness and regret. She’s gotten even better with her performances since we were young.
“Yes, you’re right. Thank you for coming.
I know I had no right to ask, not after…
well, everything, but you’re the only one who can help me.
And…and I know that I owe you an apology.
Not that it will help or that you want it, I’m sure, but…
I am sorry for how things transpired all those years ago.
” How things transpired? As if she’d played no role?
As if she hadn’t sentenced her own twin to life as a slave—or death, when I’d been forced to flee.
Twelve years old. Alone. Afraid. Completely unprepared for the real world outside the gilded walls of the palace.
I inhale sharply, grinding my teeth as my power flares in my palms and a deep chill settles in the air around us. Tesni’s eyes widened when her breath frosts the air before her, goosebumps erupting along her pale skin.
“You’ve gotten strong after all,” she whispers, looking intrigued.
Tesni had always been intrigued by power, had always hungered for it.
It’s why she’d betrayed me all those years ago.
Her love of power had been far greater than her love for me, I just never wanted to see it until it was too late.
I suppose that’s why she and Barony have gotten on so well all these years.
He, too, has an insatiable hunger for power.
He hadn’t been born a king—he'd taken the title by force.
“I’ve had to be,” I snap.
Tesni at least has the decency to look away at that, shame coloring her cheeks. After a moment, she meets my eyes once more.
“Well, as you said, we should get on with it. Over wine?”
Alcohol sounds like a fantastic fucking idea, so I give her one sharp nod.
“Lead the way.”
We sit in one of the large sitting rooms that we’d played Hidden Fairies in once upon a time, the two of us hiding away until the nannies came to search for us.
We’d barely been able to keep our giggling under control.
The furnishings have been updated over the years, but it’s still much the same: rich wood floors, thick curtains over the towering windows to keep out the winter drafts, oversized fireplace, a winged lion rearing up on each side, their paws arching over the center.
Tesni pours us each a goblet of wine nearly the color of blood. She offers me one and I eye it suspiciously. She rolls her eyes.
“Do you really think that I would ask you to come back here after all these years simply to poison you?” The arch of my brow gives her answer enough and her lips actually curl upwards at the corners. “Alright, I deserve that.”
She takes a long drink of her own wine as she settles down into the chair opposite me, and I shrug. If she’ll drink it, I suppose it must be fine.
“Where is King Barony?” I ask, motioning towards one of the lions with my goblet.
Crystal of course. Everywhere I look, I see wealth.
I’m comfortable in my life now, but it hadn’t always been that way.
I’d been poor and starving for years before I’d met Math and Cece, before the three of us had settled in Helios and scraped up enough money to buy the building where the tavern now teems with sailors and pirates and merchants, earning us a decent living.
Something tickles the back of my mind, something from those first awful days after my escape, running and hiding through the city outside the palace walls…
but I can’t quite grasp onto the memory and fades away like smoke.